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The shocking episode of Relate!

Written by Cheesa from the blog Cheesa Chat on 05 Apr 2012
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OMG last night I watched Relate, it was one of those hectic episodes. It was shocking, sad, and funny at the same time! Okay lemme break it down a lil. There was this guy his name is Moeketsi aka Lele. He is the one who approached Relate to help him with his problem. 

This guy said he has a problem with his girlfriend, Veronica. He wants his girlfriend back after they broke up due to him abusing her. He said he has a problem with his temper. He just loses it and does outrageous things to his girlfriend - that is what drove her away. 

He said he also has financial problems and suspects that is one of the reasons that made his girlfriend to leave him. He said another issue was not telling his girlfriend that he’s got financial problems. Instead he became all aggressive with her and did all sorts of things that drove her away. 

He said one night he tried to commit suicide and forced his girlfriend to do the same. He said what happened is that, he came home late at night and his girlfriend asked him where he’s from.

He told her that he is from a friend. He said his girlfriend said “okay lets go to the friend” - then he asked her why she wants to go to his friend asking doesn’t she believe him and he hit her.

He said during that night as they were sleeping his girlfriend woke him up in the middle of the night at about 01h30 am and told him that they should break up. He said he begged his girlfriend not to leave him and apologized but Veronica didn’t want to hear it. 

He said he just got out of bed and told his girlfriend that they must just both die. He told Veronica his family will mourn and her family will mourn so it will be 50/50. He said he took two hangers and hung them in the kitchen and told his girlfriend to hang herself on one of the hangers and he will follow after her.

He says Veronica pleaded with him telling him that she’s got two children she can’t do that. Some how Veronica managed to escape and that is why she is alive today. 

Veronica also had a chance to tell Mam Angie what’s been happening between her and Moeketsi. Veronica said Moeketsi has a psychological problem and he needs counseling because it seems like he has anger issues.  

Apparently he became more psycho when his mother passed away and it seems like he has not recovered from that. Veronica told Mam Angie she cannot get back with Moeketsi he is going to kill her, she just cannot. 

She said Moeketsi has apologized to her numerous times and promised he will never abuse her again but he ends up abusing her again and again.

Moeketsi apologized to Veronica again in front of Mam Angie and promised her that he will never abuse her again. Veronica asked him what if he abuses her again because it is not the first time he has apologized to her. Moeketsi told her they will pray and ask God to help them.

As you know ke there are those 3 tasks that Mam Angie gives her guests. Moeketsi was given a task to go see a psychiatrist and psychologist then go to his grandmother with Veronica to apologize for the things he has done and then go to Veronica’s aunt to apologize as well.

Moeketsi went to the psychiatrist and the psychologist. I heard him saying the psychiatrist told him that being born pre-maturely could be one of the things that cause him to be aggressive and do the things he does. 

Hayi ke drama began when it was time for Moeketsi and Veronica to go to granny’s house to apologize. Iyoh I was shocked even by the way he told Veronica that he has come to fetch her to go to his grandmother’s house.

He didn’t ask her nicely as someone who is still begging this woman to get back with him. He just told her “ndizokulanda la for siye ku gogo.”

Veronica looked at him with fear in her eyes. They went to granny’s house. I dunno what happened inside that house because Moeketsi got in, Veronica was still outside and all I heard was the sound of tables and chairs falling.

Veronica ran away. Moekesti came out and saw Veronica running away. Itjo he chased her jumping off the fence, ran to her, grabbed her and told her to come with him. 

Tjo Veronica was too scared at that time telling Moeketsi to leave her alone. She doesn’t want to go with him. At that time Moeketsi was dragging her to come with him. Mam Angie had to intervene. Moekesti was even hitting the cameras. It was just chaos for those 10 minutes.

Tjo the way I was so shocked by what Moeketsi did! But shem it was too funny at the same time I couldn’t stop laughing. That guy is insane. I don’t think he is mentally stable he needs to be checked and Veronica must just never get back with that guy any day. He is dangerous. He is really gonna kill her for real if she goes back to him. 

Anyway Mam Angie came to Veronica’s rescue and came down on Moeketsi. Tjo I also noticed that Mam Angie is too ghetto bathong. She told Moekesti if he keeps doing what he is doing she will also sort him out. She is not afraid of him she can fight him.

Moeketsi apologized shem. He asked Mam Angie to forgive him with tears coming out his eyes. He pleaded with Mam Angie and Mam Angie told him she forgives him and he must stop crying. 

They all went to Moeketsi’s grandmother’s house and told her about what is happening between Moeketsi and Veronica. Granny told Mam Angie that Moeketsi has always been like that since he was a child. He was too hyper active and took medication. He stopped with his medication when he was 12. 

Yhu hayi in all, this was a very hectic episode. It showed woman abuse happening right in front of our eyes in our TVs. Veronica even asked if Moeketsi can do what he did in front of strangers what is he gonna do to her when Relate people are gone? I can say it now he’s definitely gonna kill her. 

Moeketsi even wanted lobola money that he claims he paid for Veronica. I dunno whether he really Lobola’d Veronica or he is just delusional. But Veronica’s aunt seemed to know nothing about the Lobola money he was talking about.

The aunt asked what Lobola money he wants and he couldn’t answer saying it was a mistake. I laughed so loud when Mam Angie forced Moeketsi to tell Veronica’s aunt exactly what he did. Saying to Moeketsi “mtshele umntwana wabantu ububambe ngama washing” LMAO!! 

Hayi shem they both need counseling. Veronica is a traumatized woman. I hope she is seeing a councilor to help her get over the trauma that Moeketsi has caused her. And that psycho boyfriend needs to be kept at some institution until he is mentally stable and move on with his life and live Veronica alone. 


05 Apr 2012 10:20

I watched it too Cheesa but lemme first read your article then will write more on what I saw... OMW is all I can say at this stage!!!

05 Apr 2012 10:32

Yhooo Cheesa you said it exactly the way i saw it as well... That guys is a PSYCHO in the first degree of the true meaning of the word. I was watching the whole time lying on my side in the couch. But after that scene he banged granny's door, pushed it open without knocking and chasing Vero, jumping over amafence, then the camera was upside down (think he hit it) yhoooo hayi ke I stood up. I became so furious and i really wanted mam'Angie to moer him. Hubby even held me and told me not to be so emotional. How could he just want to hit Vero infront of millions of SAns... yes even if we were not there physically but hayi maarn what he did was not mistake. I don't think that guy knows the meaning of the word "mistake"... he kept saying it was a mistake. Mistake sa foot maarn he is just a hooligan who needs to be institutionalized for a very long time. he is not just a danger to Vero but to himself, the kids, his granny and the whole community!!! That Veronica woman should relocate to other relatives in other provinces otherwise they are going to burry her sorry A$* and those two kids will be parentless... lemme give other bloggers a chance to tell how they felt!!!

05 Apr 2012 10:34

I saw that program and I was beyong shocked by what I saw. Lele is really troubled, either he is possesed by demons or is mad or is on drugs but whatever it is I hope RELATE helped him thereafter cause not only is he a danger to Lebo but to the community, his gogo as well as to himself

05 Apr 2012 10:38

I  loved how Lebo and her aunt kept on saying Lele was abusing and miusing Lebo. Kante what is to miuse a person?
It was seriuos mara I laughed at that, I men really, was miuse(a)! kweeks!
and then Lele said "some people are parllel" wanted to say paralysed, I was D_E_A_D! finished

mara ha se a jumpa mafense, I  was scared lenna

and then Mama Angie went all ghetto straatmeit, are o tla lwana le Lele

05 Apr 2012 10:43

LMAO Cix you just killed me with your reply!!!! The way I also jumped when he when Vero started running. I think I was lost for a sec as to whats going on now. Because I dont know what could have caused Moeketsi to just pushed granny's door like that and tables and chairs falling nje nje out of the blue!!!! 

Yoh that guy is danger to society at large shem. Did you hear when his friend was saying even if he tells Moeketsi that someone did something to him he doesnt ask feathur questions he just goes straight to that person and beat the hell out him! Yoh! 

I also thought Vero must relocate sana otherwise uzofa strue!

either he is possesed by demons or is mad or is on drugs LMAO!!!!!

05 Apr 2012 10:44

Yho, All i could say was TJO!!!! Especially when that guy went gangster on the street

05 Apr 2012 10:50

But when the cousin/friend was talking with Mam Angie, I felt like somehow he was not taking it as seriuos as it was. He was having this undertone smile going on!

And then Vero goes to gogo's house with pants folded up to the knees

Clear dude is mad cause he was on medication until he was 12, that cant be because he was born premature, we all know premature baby who does not have to take any medication
Gogo did not explain it well for us, the viewers

If Lebo was a blogger, I would say to her "sisi, since you working at Airport, I suggest you move to Boksburg, get new contacts and a restraining order for that premature baby

Haai no, those people I can talk about them the whole day, laugh and get mad at the same time. So I will stop here

05 Apr 2012 11:04

Great narration, i bet even the people who didnt watch the show will get exactly what went  down.

Moeketsi is a psycho of note, he is dangerous and he's on the lose, no one is safe around that guy! that girlfriend should have left his ass a million years ago! i think calling him psycho is just not enough, he is all that and beyond...he needs a miracle!

05 Apr 2012 11:20

i think Lele is sick bathong shame i felt sorry for him and when gogo said he had a problem and he use to take some medication...........i think its time to he goes back to his medication............ nna i laughed when he said by the time he wants to kill himself he asked Lebo to go first..........

05 Apr 2012 11:25

Once phrase .... Chemical Imbalance. Nothing can, or will EVER fix this man. No matter what they try, how they try, how long the effort lasts .... He cannot be fixed, Will never be fixed. Anybody who gets near him is in danger, he will always be a danger to those he feels he needs, desires, wants, or develops an attachment to.... I know the type ... I have a son who I can accurately describe verbatim as your description of this man... and he is completely & absolutely irreparable.

05 Apr 2012 11:47

The sad reality of all this is that this woman will bear the scars this man has given to her reality, and she will probably punish herself and every man she encounters throughout her life. She needs to move as far away from his locale as possible and not leave a forwarding address .... What is happening here is the beginning of a tragedy that inevitably ends in murder. The writing is on the wall, and I doubt she sees it. He considers her his property and expects her to exist for his whim. If she does not disappear from his existence ... He will make her disappear from all existence. The question is when .... and how.

05 Apr 2012 11:48

Tjo Vuss so you are saying there's no hope for Lele wa batho shem bathong. He is really out of it. 

I am still wondering what caused him to budge into gog's house like that seriously I am trying to figure it out. 

Akere blueroze that guy reports to Lele when people trouble him, so that is why he does not take it serious coz Lele fights for him. 

He killed me again during his video clip saying "Moeketsi Lele Ezra Mofokeng I forgive you, Moeketsi Lele Ezra Mofokeng, Moeketsi Lele Ezra Mofokeng forgives you" kwaaaaa LOLest!! I cannot!

05 Apr 2012 12:05

Cheesa I tell you from personal experience ... This man has no relational engine ... He is the centre of the Universe and the planet exists to serve him and his needs. He has no regard to anything and anyone and only adjust momentarily to allow matters to cater to him and only him He only apologises for his wayward behavior ONLY when HE BELIEVES it will change matters to suit his needs and demands ........ and as I mentioned .... I have a son EXACTLY like this, I am not speaking out of a book (& I got lotsa books also bought & read to understand my so better) ... I ended disowning and disinheriting that son because there was no amount of effort I could invest in him that would rehabilitate him from the centre of the known Universe ... the main reason being that he got violent with me, and that was that ... I wrote the attorney and instructed that his status is "persona non-grata" .... when he realised it was now a bridge too far and made efforts to redeem himself ... I came out with my assault rifle and pistol ..... and asked him if he knew who Marvin Gaye was? ... and that he is to leave my property ... and never ever return to MY property EVER !!! I have no ambition to reconcile .... He will never be fixed.

05 Apr 2012 12:06

I know the type ... I have witnessed this type Cheesa ... Trust my experience ... It is Vast !

Khutso mokoto
05 Apr 2012 12:28

same wit me bt mine is emotional abuse its dificult 2 gt out especialy wen u love da guy so much dat u'd do evrythng 4 him

05 Apr 2012 12:41

same wit me bt mine is emotional abuse its dificult 2 gt out especialy wen u love da guy so much dat u'd do evrythng 4 him
@Khutso - are you  saying you love this guy more than you love yourself? 
with me love can go to hell, my safety and happiness come first

05 Apr 2012 12:42

Well Khutso ... I'm sorry to have to break it to you ... But whatever happens will be YOUR FAULT ... there is no such thing as LOVE FOR PAIN .... Take it from a veteran of many many battles ... NEVER LOVE ANYONE so much as to deprive yourself the CHOICE of being able to exercise YOUR CHOICE for your personal safety. You will be choosing to stay with someone because you Love them whereas they exercise their choice to be violent with you. The phenomenon is known as co-dependent submissive ... in Russia & Asia, there are a special genre of escorts who allow people to pay them to trample them. I am only mentioning this because these people have a special dynamic to their interpretation of risk & reward, which I am presently enthusiastically studying, and in those environments ... those women exercise their choice to put themselves in physical harm's way for monetary reward, It is a dynamic I always investigate whenever I find myself paying for interviews because it is a large genre in that environment, and I want to understand their phychiatric makeup (In my youth, I had two girlfriends who would provoke me to physical violence, and when I refused, it was viewed by them as an absence of Love ... which I reject as a form of insanity!) ... There is a genre of people who will stay with a person who is violent to them because their mental engines cancel the downside of being victims of violence in favour of their desires to be with their partners. ..... But this woman Cheesa describes does not wish to be associated with this man ... She needs to disappear from his existence .... or as surely as I write this, her being in his space is going to result in her death !

05 Apr 2012 12:44

I will NEVER Love anyone enough to entertain their violence & abuse ... Period ! I'M FIRST OUT THAT DOOR ... which often causes another course of abuse ... the STALKER !!!, LOL .... Phila uzobona !

05 Apr 2012 12:46

@Khutso, send him an sms NOW and dump him! else, it will be your funeral soon....That's the truth!

05 Apr 2012 13:22

Hey guys. Does anyone has PruLuv's email address? I need to get in touch with her urgently.

05 Apr 2012 13:27

It is on her profile Blaque ... and her tweet is on the article she wrote the other day

05 Apr 2012 13:28

@Vusi, Whats the name of the article? Navigating this site can be a bit of a mission sometimes. I tried in vain to get her profile by just "searching" for it.

05 Apr 2012 13:32

Just noticed Cheesa's now. :)

05 Apr 2012 13:35

@Blaque ... I'll find for you & PM you I responded to the article ... I think it was something about the Generations Phanaticism

05 Apr 2012 13:38

@Blaque ... sent

05 Apr 2012 14:08

Tjo...Cheesa, nice one. I missed Relate because of The Voice but the way oyibeke ngakhona ingathi bendiyibukele.

05 Apr 2012 14:08

Will RELATE cover this girl's funeral in one of the upcoming episodes? That is the only end i can see to this psychodrama. Meanwhile i find it difficult to believe people watch these things. Are there not enough reality happening in our lives that we need these scripted and unscripted reality shows to spice up our lives? On a related note, good piece Cheesa. you create pictures with your words. well done!

05 Apr 2012 14:30

Cheesa I also do not understand but if you can think back to the minute he went to fetch Vero he was already angry in his voice... The way he told her that he is there to fetch her!!! And then as they were about to go into Gogo's house I think he was already angry kuba uVero was already somewhat walking behind him... I think it was when he was asking her for the lobola money and she probably could hear from the tone that he is getting angry!!! Moss she knows the signs when the tornado is about to strike she has been living with that Monster before uAnti took her in!!! Eish it is hard to be an orphan... you settle for less!!! Lele is not even less... he is NOTHING!!!

05 Apr 2012 15:00

It was stated though that the guy suffers from attention deficit disorder and hypertension,  he should resume his medication with immediate effect. We are all driven by the chemical balances once there is an imbalance you are in serious trouble. They mentioned that he stopped taking medication at 12, so this has psychiatrist written all over him. The guy is not well period.

05 Apr 2012 15:26

Vero should just get one of those legal protection orders that states this man must always be 100 KM's away from her! Period!

05 Apr 2012 15:27

@Asarte ... In your opinion ... What would him resuming his medication with immediate effect accomplish? It is always easy for someone sitting on the couch , remote control in hand to analyse and diagnose that the person needs medication .... In real life .... EVERYTHING is not solved by getting back on the pill ..... As I mentioned earlier .... I have lived with, intervened, and FAILED to moderate my son's behaviour ... He has ADD, ADHD & Hyperactivity .... and most of these conditions are modulated when the patient is young ..... THere is absolutely No solution the conventional therapies can do to assist an Adult .... The brain evolves with time, and some corrections that are impossible during childhood cannot be affected in adulthood. ........... The woman needs to get away, that's all .... you're focusing on the WRONG VICTIM in looking at the man ..... he going to explode into indescribable violence sooner or later ... there is no correcting him ...... I see the same in my son ..... He may not come anywhere my other children, and I have advised ALL of my older children to KEEP AWAY from him because if anything I foresee ... he is most the most likely candidate for their unnatural death ...... I DO NOT READ ANY REDEMPTION IN THIS MAN ... and I am seldom wrong in predicting behavioural patterns. Understand that I have lived what you see ... there is no debate regarding the result ... all people like him who eventually abandon all forms of relational compass & boundaries inevitably end up in the same situation ... being killed whilst on killing sprees !

05 Apr 2012 15:30

@Tazz ... trust me .. Protection help nothing because they cannot prevent intent PRIOR to that intend being carried out ...... the law is a reactionary device ... He cannot be thrown in a cell for the POSSIBILITY that he will kill her ... The whole country knows he will kill her ... that is now a paradigm ... She will die if she remains in his environment ... If she wishes to live ... her only salvation rests in a total disappearance ... not even relatives should know where she is .... Until after HE IS DEAD !

05 Apr 2012 15:59

Scary staff

05 Apr 2012 16:27

Tjo Vuss you know this situation very well. And your analyses of it makes it very clear what this man is capable of and he suffers from exactly what you're you are saying . Believe me everyone who watched that episode can only say that Vero must relocate because that man is gonna kill her. As long as she lives in the same place as him she's at a risk of being killed by Moeketsi................... I'm glad you guys at least get the picture of what happened just by reading this that was my intention hehehe ;-) TA!.............. A freind said maybe this man is also possessed by demons or something..........Chix Vero definately knows the signs coz the way she remained behind Moeketsi she could tell something was about happen. And she even decided not to get in the house seeing that man is gonna explode!...............Taz just like Vuss I don't see protection orders preventing anything if Moeketsi wants to do something to Vero he will fo it protection order or no protection order. And what I'm thinking now is that man might end up killing himself soon especially if he does not get Vero. Shame this is hectic!!!

05 Apr 2012 16:52

He is going to kill her first Cheesa !!! Bullies ....... It is very important to note that Bullies and Sadists are very big cowards. It is the fear of Jail and exposure for what they really are that drives them to kill themselves, not the fear of loss. If he was going to kill himself ... He would have done it when they were apart ... BEFORE embarrassing black people on Television. As I said ,,, I know this kind of person ... my ex has proudly been raising such an animal for 22 years, and for 13 of those years ... I have warned her of the beast she was creating ... and NOW .... IT HAS TEETH, CLAWS, TOOLS AND INTENT .... My monster's survival is centred purely on his staying away from me and my children ... I will protect me and my children with his life without question !!!

Mrs vdK
05 Apr 2012 21:45

VusiK I agree with you bro! Being abused is NEVER your fault, but how far it goes is ALWAYS your fault. Mara Cheesa umbonile beka gijima kanjani? Uyogijima le SA yonke aze amthole if she moves! She should just have him thrown into jail. Bazomtrapa goed abo inmate uzophuma alulekile ...lol. Mam Angie is a ghetto gogo,akalindi malanga ukSotha manje.... athi ngizokshaya manje... Lol I wish I could see the uncut and unedited footage of this episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They deserve an award LMAO!!!!! Khutso, if ucinga ba umntu oxhapazana nawe mihla nezolo uqhutywa luthando, umncu. Uzoguga umzimba unkalwa ngamakhwenkwe sisi.

05 Apr 2012 23:11

Shame moeketsi got worse after her ma passed away and the guy can cry,her situation is beyond repair those youngsters he was teachingviolence as karate should run as well,veronica is right to move on who wants a man like that

06 Apr 2012 11:28

:( I always miss this captivating episodes, relate and khumbulekhaya. Thanx Cheesa for telling the story so well.

06 Apr 2012 11:59

Eish Vuss, mental wellness and neurological disorders are subjects very close to my heart, I have learned a lot about them, not enough I imagine, and in both of them I always try to encourage those I meet in this situations to be positive, therapy, medication, learn about other success storys etc. What u describe bout your son and how u have handled the situation brings a new perspective to me. My lil sister is autistic, my cousin's son had ALD (adrenoleukodystrophy), some of this neurological - mental situation are too deep I know, but somehow I always maintain that information, knowing other people's stories, getting the best help available, makes the living a bit easy. My heart bleeds for the less fortunate families who don't even know bout autism sa, who dnt live near schools that can support them, who cannot affort the learning and therapy tools available, and hearing ukuthi wena Vusi you had the resources and it was still hard, is realy weighing me down. I mention the whole spectra f neurolgical-mental disorders because they are all taxing in many ways, they tax everybody involved.

06 Apr 2012 12:41

tjo i missed the drama part i switched off while Lele was on his way to the shrink.akasemuhle uVero bakithi emelene nalomhlola.kutough outthere yazi!trust Cheesa to give u the visuals,i would love to see u conversate one on one ubhala ungathi uyancokola.

06 Apr 2012 12:43

i know u watch the LKG show,do u mind recapping it for us?the Somgaga interview was the best by far.

06 Apr 2012 15:57

yes uCheesa has the gift .... Descriptive writing is a arare and almost dead skill & ability!

06 Apr 2012 16:16

@GA ... Nero-Psycho irregularities are as complex as the arguments surrounding them are ambiguous. and yes ... having resources is irrevlevant, My troubled son would probably OK, the problem was the lack of what his compass required as the stabilizing factor in all aspects of his psyche. I was in exile & living overseas when he was an infat and child, so his mother vented her frustration on him when he was a baby, simultaneously refusing when I offered to take him as she was also studying. Children raised in/ with issues and anger are never quite complete as a basic rule, and the candid banter women love engaging in about how less of anything the other parent is imprints on the child's psyche... such matters have profound influences on developing psyches. ... When he was about 5, he went to live with his liberal minded grandma who would indulge his whimm ... which disengaged the "Engine od Limits" ... aka discipline (I heard my son would have ice cream for breakfast & toss his lunch into the bin & eat sweets) ... no reprimand .... then came prepubescent ... a time when I would occassionaly be in the country, and the mother would speak casually about how he hould beat me up when he group up ... which probably reinforced a violent-solution legacy in him ... "He is still welcome to try .. but only I'm walking away alive", ... and whenever he was uncontrollable .. shipped off to Dad the disciplinarian whose nickname was "The Punisher" ... but immediately when he is stabilized (not even corrected) ... snatch him back ..... anyways ... the pattern is obvious and there is no way to build a person with those variables. My theories are as simple as they are complex .... Always plan for what happens should romantic plans go wrong, then multiply the worst by 1000, and that is probably what one will really deal with ... and if the worst involves children ... 100,000. I do not understand why we have children if we know we have gross inadequacies regarding the sacrifices we MUST make to facilitate them developing into great adults. ... Have sex, enjoy, but don't have children if you will compromise the children in any regard in the pursuit of personal agenda. Once we have children ... Everything in life is no longer about us ... we cease to exist. Not making our sacrifices results in children like men like my son, and Moeketsi.

06 Apr 2012 21:07

I get you Vuss. Stability , or lack thereof is usually the main reason why kids in the spectra don't do well. Instability scars even kids that are born well, what of those who are already sensitive. I'm realy realy sorry man that your boy found himself victim to the tussle that occurred. The saddest part is many kids are victims to such, taking them 10 steps behind in their progress.

06 Apr 2012 21:08

I get you Vuss. Stability , or lack thereof is usually the main reason why kids in the spectra don't do well. Instability scars even kids that are born well, what of those who are already sensitive. I'm realy realy sorry man that your boy found himself victim to the tussle that occurred. The saddest part is many kids are victims to such, taking them 10 steps behind in their progress.

07 Apr 2012 09:29

Yah GA ... there is no intervention money can bring to a system that is irrevocably broken ..... If you want to analyse this fact .... you can look at our society and do an analysis of the ascendancy of black wealth .... those who have the right internals built into them do well invisibly and without attracting attention ... those without the discipline .... Well, look at Julius Malema, Zuma ... in fact most of the ANC "leadership", thugs who have money fall into them, and general society whose focus on accomplishment is on money and nothing else ... We are a broken society ... unless we actually start taking that step and look at ourselves critically .... everybody ... the cancer is not going away .... we are obsessional with ourselves and our demands & needs that we fail to pay attention to the causes, which we can fix if intervention comes early enough. .... Stop living for instant gratification and our children will also stop, and will refocus on real goals, and less on the acquisition of items .... the tragedy of this case is that the woman is an item to this man ... a possession ... and he has no relational compass, so even when he had / has possession of the item, once the demand is satisfied, he immediately realizes what the terrier does upon catching the bus in its jaws "What do I do with it" ... and not having goals, gets frustrated, ... and explodes violently from frustration ... there are many interpretations .... but the fault is with society as much as it is with the adult he evolved to be.

07 Apr 2012 09:31

I know what I am going to take on as a reformist is never going to be popular, but the aim of my going into that plane is to reach 0,05% of those who will recognise the problems with who we are. One half of one percent of the populous in political terms is non-existent, however, it will be 10,000 - 10,000 people who will be able to think for themselves once the light is turned on.

09 Apr 2012 23:48

Tjo! Tjo! Tjo! That must have been seriously hectic. I only caught the part when he grabbed her & dragged her to the house. You're right @Cheesa, that guy is DANGER personified. He needs to get serious "shrinking" not a 1 day or 1 week thing. He's actually a danger to society, these are the men that will randomly open fire on a crowd or a family. No! No! No! He's too dangerous!

10 Apr 2012 10:42

all I can say is... this book explains so well these types of men...

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by Dr. Susan
Forward and Joan Torres



so sorry i missed this show.. Is there a repeat?

10 Apr 2012 11:10

seems like my ex is not alone...shame! at times i really did want to help him......i hope he has been sorted shame.........i hanged on and coped until he decided to have an affair......and the girl......saw the suits and all and started abusing it........

Shame........I really wonder what goes inside them......what really happens in their head when they do this.........it must be horrible for them also.......they may be filling trapped or something

10 Apr 2012 11:10


10 Apr 2012 11:10


10 Apr 2012 11:18

VusiK........you are RIGHT!!...........Have not finished reading....but it can get really dangerous........they are not afraid of anything..........anyone....police......someone bigger than them.....

my ex had a history......and he is a Christian-very smart-very handsome-loveable-but when that thing comes........yoh!......he has (last i knew) a respectable job.etc.......

He used to say....there is an animal in him..that comes out when i made him angry.....
Last time he told me he never laid a hand on anyone since me...i brought out the worst in him.......I hope he is sorted

10 Apr 2012 11:25

Hectic @ Ntlewame @Vuss...broken people and a broken society feed into each other, and they breed broken kids and the cycle continues. BUT with your initiative, whatever impact it makes is a huge deal. Contribute to the few objective and rational threads that are holding up society and preventing from self destructing.

10 Apr 2012 11:27

Khutso.......get out........he will try so many times to come back......each time he will be sincere...........at first i wanted to help him......but when i felt endangered i would pray to wake up alive........i would seek refuge and he will go there and pull me out.......(not afraid of anyone)........(this happened over 8 years).......but at first we were so much in love...........i did not need a friend he understood me and life was really good......

When Shannel (that white woman got killed by (supposedly husband)) got killed by those motorbike thugs.....I could relate to the story..........he wanted to come back forcefully at that time and the tone in his emails sounded as if he was really insane......he was saying things out of his level of intellegance and i was really scared......even scared for my daughter

10 Apr 2012 11:28

and thats after the 4 year breakup

10 Apr 2012 11:35

I'd he the father of your daughter @Ntlewame, that is too scary. Are you safe now, from him that is. Is he over you?

10 Apr 2012 11:43

Geez touching indeed and i really feel sorry for You VusiK  and your son.  It's just a learning experience for all of us  who plans on raising kids

10 Apr 2012 12:31

@Green.Arrow- he is.....he has always wanted a child and i did not want because I suspected i could have issues later.........(well the pregnancy happened-no one to blame-I love my daughter dearly)......

he resorted to the lowest derogatory words and statements i could not believe and vowed not to contact us again.......till now.....and that was last year.......so im good.

10 Apr 2012 14:12

Cheesa to give u the visuals,i would love to see u conversate one on one ubhala ungathi uyancokola. LOL! andi shyi ke Cngle you have no idea lol! 

Eish I so missed the episode ka SomG the way I was so angry at myself coz I like his interviews. You are always guaranteed laughter!

yes uCheesa has the gift .... Descriptive writing is a arare and almost dead skill & ability! :-D thanks Vuss *big smile on my face* hehehe

He used to say....there is an animal in him..that comes out when i made him angry..... tjo hectic stuff Ntlewame2 at least you got out of the relationship alive. You will find that even the things that he claims you brought out the animal are just smalllanyana things. Its just that umuntu wakhona is an aggressive being who has this kind of situation that is explained by Vuss.

Sego the repeat was Friday at 12h00pm. So seydlulile.

10 Apr 2012 15:37

I remember watching Big Brother i think two years ago when Hannington moered Lerato and the gender what what NGO's were involved in making sure Hannington gets dismissed from the show. My point now is those gender what what where are they now what are they doing about this situation that the whole country saw on TV? are they only going to act when the poor girl is in Evalon?

10 Apr 2012 16:04

@Slondy .... Thank you! But he is the one that requires help ... I'm concentrated on the younger children now ... He's a grown Ass man, he's on his own.

10 Apr 2012 16:55

For you Cheesa .... Anytime my dear !

10 Apr 2012 19:05

@Slondy ... Children are like lucky packets inside lucky packets. parents NEVER know what they're getting, and once here, NEVER know what to do with & about them, and once on their way, NEVER know what they're going to become. all the parent can do is make the best possible investment they can in the pieces with the greatest influence on them. You want a * child, you have to put the pieces that child needs to be inspired to be the best at * they can be, but if the child is inclined to be %, and you don't do as you should have in pursuit of *, it becomes a very strange mix of @#$%^ and *, and the child, like tens of thousands out there today end up lost.

10 Apr 2012 19:13

I'll propose a simple challenge to all the parents & parents to be on our forum ..... Spend the exact amount of money you pleasure spend on you and your company ... all the pleasure spend equated ... and make an equal contribution to a non-interest bearing account ... and in one year, you can see how much your two year old is missing out on an incredible education. ...... Then Assess yourself as a Parent ! Let's restrict it to pleasure spend ... alcohol, transport to spend on alcohol, cigarettes, and party & club spend .... If you wish to hate yourself .... you can throw in the difference in pricing for the brand-name items you spend on yourself vs regular name clothes & throw in the same values on their clothes versus the Mr. Price valued clothes, & throw in the time you could have spent at home with them vs hanging with the pals drinking ... .... so if baby grows up to be a fuck-up ... pull out the lists, and then look for the person to blame.

10 Apr 2012 22:56

That certainly give me a gauge on how is must save. I'm always looking for creative ways to save!.

11 Apr 2012 08:47

Yho Cheesa, thanks for this. i missed it but saw it at the end, i didnt see 'diwashing' part.. Hecticness!!! If he can do it on tv, then shem he is going to kill her. He is already suicidal, beyond repair

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