I was watching morning TV when The View had an interesting debate going on. The View hosts where discussing the possibility of people being born homosexual. Now I thought that was interesting since this is one of those conversations where everyone thinks they have a correct opinion, which is better than anyone. Each woman talked about whether they believe gay people are born that way. Elisabeth Hasselbeck said that she believed people are predisposed to things but Sherri Sheppard said that she struggles with the concept, even though some of her close friends are gay. She feels that it goes against her religious beliefs. It was actually an interesting debate and a more mature discussion than I was expecting from this show. Barbra Walters said the problem is that more and more of these gay guys are starting to look and act very straight to a point of not being noticed. Whoopi Goldberg said that in all honesty there is no way to tell which is if you found him in bed with another man. Supposedly doing the nasty!
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It got me thinking, I am sure gay bloggers on TVSA can contribute much better insight that I would. However this is what age and experience has taught me. People who are gay, are just that …gay and those who are bisexual, they are just that… bisexual. I do believe that there are certain gay people who may sleep with women due to circumstance (family, friends, society, work or career expecting them to marry and so forth) or confusion.
I also think that the complexity of this whole situation makes it very difficult for anyone to understand homosexuality or bisexuality. To make it even more complicated, ADD transgender. For the purpose of the debate on The View, I will contain my opinions and commentry to the “born gay” issue.
Do I think people are born gay? HELL YES!
Do I think people can choose to be gay? HELL NO! Not unless you where bisexual or gay to begin with!
Do I think people can have gay experiences? YES! - I believe that some heterosexual people, (not all), have had gay experiences of a varying range, which does not mean they are gay. It just means that the phantom of attraction and sexuality just found a same sex target (or call it a complication in the system) and well if they act on it. It will remain part of their little secret to be revealed in their after life. Imagine that.
However, there are those men who enjoys certain abilities offered by gay people, whilst certain gay men are attracted to straight men. So it makes the whole thing very complicated if you look at the sexual side of things, where love does not exist.
What makes me upset however, is those boys who get married and have boyfriends on the side. This in my opinion is the root of most problems which are compounded by those guys who are married who seek out gay hook-ups. It’s sick because women are busy looking for the other women, where in fact now we have entered the age or “the other man”. So ladies please check that dude out first because these gay guys are the “perfect boyfriend” or the “prefect husband” which you are looking for. Please be careful.
What we know is that we have gay people…. born that way or not; they are here and have been around as part of the human race for a long time and will continue to be around. The difference is that part of these people’s lives and nature is that they are capable of hiding who they are better than any race ever on earth. So you might not even know that you have one in your family because when they see how difficult its going to be, they hide. So, just get up to speed and be clear ladies.
I knew this guy, aged 40 who was married with 3 children. He was very successful and he had a boyfriend (35). Now what made the whole thing even worse he bought his boyfriend an expensive apartment (which was pretty much a house). He was in the relationship with the boy before he met his wife and by his own definition, he’s relationship with this boy was the longest relationship he’s had. Here is a kicker; if you met these guys together in your local Woolworth’s or Pick ‘N Pay, I bet you a lot of money you would not tell they where in an intimate relationship. They behaved like a typical rough soccer loving guys.
About the wife … can you just guess.. Well if you couldn’t, he got married because his family expected him to get married and demanded it. Don’t you just love family; I personally find this to be a dick of a situation.
What about the kids? This dude would visit his boyfriend with his own kids and I would think what was going to happen when these kids got to be 18, 25 or even 30. How was this man going to explain that uncle BOB is actually daddy’s boyfriend. I see why therapists make so much money…
Walters made some very interesting points which made me think that these gay people should be left to have their own relationship so that pain and grief could be prevented from the women and kids who are left victims of the very hatred directed towards gays. It just sends chills down my spine, when I think of those women who just want to get married only to discover that their hubby has a hubby!
Of course there are those gay guys who cannot help themselves because they are just obviously gay. I think they are great because you can tell. And there are those straight guys who are too girlie but they are not gay or bisexual… they are just straight as arrows.
The debate was quite heated and I kept on thinking great hot topic but it was juts too complicated to discuss. This was brought on by the statement made by a U.S senator about the scientific discovery of gay genes. I personally thought that all those people who build their beliefs, faiths and churches not to mention clubs or organization on hating gay people because they think it’s just a satanic choice kids make. I wonder if they would dare say God is satanic for giving gay people the gay gene or would they go after the parents and hate them for containing the gay gene. Whatever the situation this is one for a very heated debate.
The View airs on SABC3 weekdays at 11:20am.The Observer