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Review: Hellboy

Written by tha - bang from the blog blah blah blah on 18 Apr 2019
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In 2004, Guillermo del Toro made a movie about a big red demon with a teenager's attitude… it wasn’t exactly a box office hit but it did well on DVD which gave us the very pretty sequel Hellboy: The Golden Army.

This competed with The Dark Knight and the burgeoning Marvel universe and well… it did modestly well.

Alas, the trilogy was never completed because Ron Perlman wouldn’t do it without del Toro, who has been pretty busy since Hellboy 2, but a long story cut short... we have a new director and actor in Hellboy.

Is it worth paying for a ticket? Well, dig in...


I believe the guys behind Hellboy would say they were aiming at giving the Hellboy comic fans a fresh take on source material as they reference at least 3 Hellboy comic book storylines, bring in comic book characters like Nimue, The Blood Queen and Lobster Johnsson, whom we haven’t seen the Guillermo version(s).

They have the writer-creator of the comics (Mike Mignolia) as part of the writing team …this must mean lightning in a bottle mos...magic in the sack...but skielik that aint the case.




This film is bloated and stuffed with meaningless action, blood, guts, gore and rock music that grates ones nipples.

There's none of the charm of the first Hellboy nor beautiful creature and imagery of the Golden Army or even a sense of Mignolia's very idosyncritic visual style from the comics. The effects outside Hellboy are very disappointing.

The plot and story is paper thin. Half the stuff set up in the first act have no bearing on the final outcome.The character motivations are muddled,from hellboy to his villan ....dont even start on the supporting cast.

Basically, if you love the Michael Bay's Transformers movies and you loved all the Fast and Furious movies, this is for you. Everybody else: stay away. This is one of those movies that you can only enjoy if you don't think at all.




Milla Jokovich is wasted here. It seems she's there just to look sexy in very loose clothing.Not to say Resident Evil was academy award winning franchise but Luc Besson's The Fifth Element shows how one can use her style of perfomance.

Ian McShane fairs a little better but seems to be in his Odin demeanour from American Gods and doesn't even try to tamper it a bit like he did in John Wick ... I feel for poor David Harbour who was cast as the new Hellboy fresh off the Netflix series smash hit Stranger Things.

He tries to bring the humour and action but the material does not tie anything together.

The script has major plot issues and motivation issues that his comedic timing is wasted on... the first act teased at something... then teased at something else ....then teased at something else too... and nobody likes a tease who never delivers.




Neil Marshall is a fantastic director - just watch his Game Of Thrones episodes if you want proof - but his one-take techniques look cheap here, especially with the green screen… the blood, gore and soundtrack is loud but lacks little nuance nor pointto the loudness.

After the first 30 minutes, the rest of the film feels like we're just watching a series of events happening nje. There's no major game plan here or big idea connecting everything or even a sense of fun actioner that John Wick and company deliver on




By the time movie ended, I really wanted to leave, feeling as if I'd been trolled by a movie that I really did not want to happen…if given a choice between this or the third movie in del Toro’s trilogy, I would have gone with del Toro's version.

But given the talent involved in the front and behind the camera, I really thought at least it would be entertaining but this was a mind numbing throwback to excess and video game like story telling that comic book movies don't need now.

I'm sad to say this is 2019's first official dud thus far...

David Harbour looks cool as Hellboy, Lobster Johnson is funny but the movie is not cohesive after the first act.

Wait for it to air on e.tv and save your money for Endgame - hopefully that lives up to the hype.



It felt like: 300 Rise of the Empire meets any of Michael Bay’s Transformers movie with a rock soundtrack that is not even close to being as iconic as the Iron Man 1 soundtrack .

Fun Trivia: it has two end credits scenes

Rating

*1/2
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Index
*Trash  ** Ja nee ***Ya zama-nyana  ****We are vooking with gas *****Instant Classic

 

 

Actors in this post: David Harbour, Ian McShane



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