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Relate: siblings' dirty fight

Written by Cheesa from the blog Cheesa Chat on 19 Apr 2012
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On Relate last night there were two girls who are sisters, one is Akhona and the other is Andiswa. 

Basically these sisters fight a lot to a point were they bring out knives for each other. Akhona is older than Andiswa. They also have an older sister who is the one who wrote to Relate for help to solve the problem between Akhona and Andiswa because the family has failed to solve it

Their mother is apparently incapable of solving Akhona and Andiswa’s problem because in the end it always seems like she is siding with Andiswa. I am not really sure when or how the problem between the two girls began. 


But Akhona said she and Andiswa always fight, even about the smallest things. They always swear at each other and Andiswa does not respect her as an older sister. She says whatever she likes to her and that's when she just loses it and beats her up, then they start fighting.

She says there was a time when Andiswa came home and told her that they  (her and other residents of Braamsfontein) killed the father of her child. Andiswa said to her she looked at him in the eye and threw a stone in his face and poured paraffin on him.

Akhona says she couldn’t believe Andiswa could do that to the father of her child. Apparently Akhona’s boyfriend was a thief so residents of Braamsfontein beat him up and killed him on the spot and Andiswa participated in that. 


Akhona also said that her mother and Andiswa are always against her. They always accuse her of everything that goes wrong in the house. They’ve even accused her of stealing imali yamabhiya that her mother sells.

Because she does not work they even say she eats too much and finishes food. She says when she cooks they tell her that she cooks too much food and wastes food because she does not buy it.

She says they’ve even told her that one day they will put poison in her food because she likes food too much. I’m not gonna lie, I laughed at this and Mam Angie had a smirk too - she wanted to laugh but held it.

Akhona said she has never lived a happy life at home since she came from the Eastern Cape and Andiswa once told her that they were happy when she was not around. 

Akhona said Andiswa will never respect her because she is not getting anything from her. Akhona said she thinks that if she was working Andiswa was going to give her some respect. 

Andiswa initially refused to speak to Mam Angie, saying people are now going to know their problems. They will be seen on national TV by everyone, even someone who didn’t know that they fight - now they will know.

Andiswa said everything that Akhona said was all lies! She never killed the father of Akhona’s baby. It was people of Braamsfontein who killed the father of her child. Yena she just watched as he was killed.

Andiswa even said to Akhona “ude usuke ngapha uzolilela leya nja leya yhuuu!” Yheyi Andiswa was on fire she even repeated how much of a dog Akhona’s boyfriend was and even said their mother can testify to that.

Andiswa said she lied to Akhona when she said she also participated in the killing of Akhona’s boyfriend. She also said Akhona must not pretend to be some sort of a saint because she also had an affair with her boyfriend. Akhona said she had an affair with Andiswa’s boyfriend because she was angry at her for what she did to her boyfiend. 

Andiswa said Akhona does not do anything for her but yena she buys her stuff. She even bought her shoes with the money she got from her boyfriend and took her to KFC. 

Akhona said Andiswa didn’t just buy her those R30 sandals. She asked Andiswa to buy her those sandals and promised she will pay her back when they get home.

She said Andiswa then borrowed R50 from her and never returned it showing that she was taking the money she bought her those sandals with. Andiswa said Akhona sometimes dishes little food for her and sometime she goes to bed still hungry.

Andiswa said she also didn’t have it easy their mother also treats her the same way she does with Akhona. Akhona must not pretend like she is the only one who is mistreated by their mother. 

Andiswa said they don’t know their father. They have never seen him and they only met their mother in 2001 because she left them when they were young.

Andiswa refused to do Mam Angie’s 3 tasks. So Mam Angie gave Akhona 3 tasks, to ask their uncle so sit down with them so they can talk about this problem with their mother, go to POWA for counseling and then have the family meeting.

She did the first two tasks. The uncle said he has always wanted to sit with them and their mother so they can talk about this problem but Andiswa is disrespectful. When she talks to older people she talks to them like they are of the same age as her and her mother does not reprimand her. 

Akhona with uncle 

Akhona and Andiswa’s mother refused to talk on camera but agreed to talk to Mam Angie off camera. It turns out the mother has given up on solving the issue between her daughters but said she will try talk to them.

The older sister said she would really love for this problem to be solved because they don’t live a happy life. This has also affected her badly.

What I figured is that Andiswa has no respect whatsoever shem. Usile lamntana. She says whatever that comes to her mind. I am sure she is like that to her mother too. Their mother is to blame for their behaviour. Abaqeqeshekanga kakuhle abantwana especially uAndiswa. 

The older sister, Sana

Their case is one of those unsolved problems by Relate. Relate always fails to solve people’s problems. I have even concluded that that show is all about entertaining South Africa with people’s problems while it promises to help them solve the problems. 

That is what I don’t like about Relate. I think they should find another more qualified person to do the show because Mam Angie fails every week.

So guys do you fight with your siblings? What was it about? When is siblings fight bad/dirty? Have you ever fought with your sibling to a point were it needed a family meeting? How did you solve it?


19 Apr 2012 10:11

Eish I missed out. My older sista and I used to fight when we were kids but my mom didn't want to hear abt it she wud give both of us hidings and tell us to learn to respect each other but we got over it cos we get along just fine now. 

19 Apr 2012 10:11

MamAngie must just stop giving tasks. They should be in the room for the whole hour until their problems has been solved

19 Apr 2012 10:27

i failed to understand why Andiswa went to relate to start with.... shame never have i ever seen such a disrepectful girl & i also blame the mother. andazi maybe even the mother is scared of her

i was so shocked when the Andiswa chick said "She moers Andiswa's 4 year old"

19 Apr 2012 10:28

i was so shocked when the Andiswa chick said "She moers Andiswa's 4 year old"
I meant akhona's 4 year old

19 Apr 2012 10:32

Andiswa has no respect and morals too the way she was talking to mamangie,and why did she lie abt taking part in killing akhona boyfriend,my only wish is for akhona to get a job and move out

19 Apr 2012 11:07

BATHONG???? Weistse i wanted to jump inside the tv and choke the hell outta Andiswa, 

Andiswa wa telelela, bt sometyms education also plays a role, u cud she she was nt even in the mood to talk to Mam Angie and she kept on smilling like dz is boring. 


19 Apr 2012 11:09

When Sana was talking i cud fel the pain she was feeling, it was a painful, she realli dznt know wt to do. Sana be strong

19 Apr 2012 11:16


19 Apr 2012 11:16

I was also shocked when she said she "moers" the 4 year old. that child is mannerless. However the other siblings passive nature encourages her behaviour. Akhona must just look for any jobe even if it is to be a domestic worker and get out of that house. Atleast she will be paid and have a meal daily. Then save up enough to have her own Mkhukhu and take her child to school and upskill herself too. This life of a victim is just not good at all

19 Apr 2012 11:34

Relate this season seem to be entertainment, thy are not solving the problems. I hope they will televise the follow ups. 

Andiswa is a typical straat meit, wa tella, to even say she "moers" a baby, who says that?

And as to why Akhona and Sana did not clean the house I dont get, with baby bottles and fatuku on the cupboards and mama Angie coming, Aaai kdwa some families!

Mara bana ba golelang di spotong ba so! Akere mmabona o rekisa dibiri!

It was sad and hilarious at the same time.

Why did mam Angie put on a towel when she went in the Mkhukhu? I thought the dabawo was the inyanga not the mom.

I must say make up ne o ba zamile, the scars!

19 Apr 2012 12:23

haibo seems like umuntu uyaphuthelwa i Relate!!!! 

I have a brother and it's just the two of us, as kids ja we use to fight but you guys know how boys grow up with all the muscles at abt 13/14 they are strong as an ox.............and then I realised that I couldnt fight him anymore coz I was tiny even though I was older than him so I came up with  a plan ! decided I will say it outloud that I want to help him with his homework and questions him if gets something wrong and use that opportunity to hit him and pay revenge for disrepecting me! and my mom should support me and tell him to pull up his socks  but she later realised that I was using that as an excuse for the beating!!!

shame but we are very close now, there is nothing I would do for him and I love him more than I love my hubby!!!! that how close. I think as you grow up you realise that family is all you've got and u start appreciatin each other and esp if you ave lost a close member... eg we lost our mom in car accident and we realised how importan family is and hw short life is....so guys love respect and cherish your loved ones....

19 Apr 2012 12:28

KhUMBULE'KHAYA WAS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............MAM ANGIE WA BHEDHA.............

19 Apr 2012 12:33

huh clapping hands once akhona manje 

very well written recap thanks

19 Apr 2012 13:07

@bezu.. lol

19 Apr 2012 14:20

ijooo Cheesa wa chesa mannn........... very well written

I hope they will televise the follow ups. ............for 3 weeks now.....no solution

19 Apr 2012 14:35

can she stop speaking isiXhosa period!she butchers our taal maan la Aunty!Andiswa displayed how important iskolo is empilweni yomtu.the chick is so uncivilised and desrepectful!cant wait to hear KCI's take on this episode.Akhona must just take whatever job.

19 Apr 2012 14:49

Wow! What a sad story! I didn’t know we have families like this one. I didn’t watch the show anyway I don’t watch Relate coz of Sis Angie’s wardrobe. I mean you cannot rock unamndiyatitsha on my TV screen. No Girl! OK back to the topic. Cheesa I doubt I would fix it too. I mean you said this girl doesn’t even respect her mom so what makes you think she will respect a stranger like Sis Angie. There is saying in Xhosa”Lugotywa luselutsha”. If you’re Xhosa you’ll understand what I’m trying to say. If uqaqadekile uqaqadekile ke full stop

19 Apr 2012 14:51

Hi Cinglemum !!!! Long time mabhebeza!

19 Apr 2012 15:06

When Sana was talking i cud fel the pain she was feeling, it was a painful, she realli dznt know wt to do. Sana be strong wesbew I even had tears mna shem :-(

Lol vandi! :-) 

very well written recap thanks pleasure babye TA!

As for Andiswa moering a 4 year old! *claps once* she should be arrested for child abuse! Hayi shem usile loya mntana and uzithembile and its clear that her mother is on her side coz the way ase ngayo tells it all. 

So KCI talks about Relate on his show? Well let me find some radio here..... 

19 Apr 2012 15:33

So guys do you fight with your siblings
I used to fight with my brother while we were young. We will beat each other with stones, nobkirrie (spelling), blockstenna, etc. Anything next to you thats why they used to call us Coloureds (its not like im being disrespectful about coloured ppl but we knew how they beat each other).

What was it about
Everything. Like whose doing the dishes, wiping them? Oh he used steal my drumstick while  praying? Damn i used to hate this one. Teasing me about being skinny maar im the one who eats a lot. Hiding my bath towel so i'll be late at school. Whose turn to polish our shoes? All those stupid things....

When is siblings fight bad/dirty
When you use sharp things like knives, guns etc. 

Have you ever fought with your sibling to a point were it needed a family meeting
Nee girlfreind. We used to fight when my mum was not around otherwise we would get a hard beatin. 

How did you solve it? 
Ag man we grow up and now we love each other so much. He is the DARLING.

20 Apr 2012 11:54

I think this 3 tasks thing doesn't help they have to treat each story differently. Like in this case, she could see Andiswa's not willing to co-operate, she should have stop there and talk to them separately until she sees the need of them forgiving each other, if not but stop giving tasks.  As a counsellor she should know better, its like pushing an hour and get paid nje.  

You can see this family has bitterness so as counsellor she supposse to identify all the symptoms, root of bitterness, etc and then tackle the matter. Sis Angie & SABC hai mani musani ukdlala ngathi, we know this job far much better.

20 Apr 2012 12:28

i missed up such a sad story on relate, HOPING THAT "you" can help Akhona to find job, & other Professional helpers can help up this family sad story...OMG aboMkhaya... uAunty!Andiswa walimosha igama lama "Xhosa" kakubi kanje, into yakho inye "Andiswa, you must go back to school / go to school ask for your Grandmother's fees, she's been paying all this years while your mother wasnt around 'back" lifeless Mabuyekwndeni'.

23 Apr 2012 08:10

It's true when they say life is stranger than fiction. If this was a story on Generations, people will be up in arms about how unrealistic it is, but here it is, real life. It happens... Life is stranger than fiction. Think about that next time you watch something on your favourite soap, don't croticise writers and say they are unrealistic. Strange things happen... Whether we like it or not. It might not be in your family but they do. When I watched this Relate, I was like is this true or Angie paid them. It's like  jERRY Springer pRTICIPANT THAT Andiswa when she said the boyfriend was 'lanja ley', I thought yoh! Even if he was, no need to be killed like that

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