The process of being processed.
The life itself is the process and the trials and tribulations that we face each and every day is what I call being processed. We all have come this far yet there are times in our lives when we thought we won’t make it, when we thought we won’t survive, when we believed that we are no longer being processed but FINESHED and it’s all over.
As we grow from being infants to toddlers, at least then we don’t have much to complain about, we leave everything in the hands of our parents (or whosoever looking after us) to worry and we worry about absolute nothing, we just enjoy each and every day as it comes. Then we grow from being toddlers to teenagers and that is where our worries start. We first need the sense of belonging from the surrounding and our peers, we want our voices to be heard and we want to be noticed, when all this does not happen we become miserable, we lose confidence, we lose self-pride, we lose sense of belonging and our whole world shutters on us. We all go through some if not all of these aspects in our lives.
Love crisis:
You meet this wonderful creature; you center your whole world (with you inside) on that someone. You build all your dreams and make that person your foundation. All you do is now more about that someone than it is about you. You are taken miles away from the real you and no matter who tells you this you just can’t see anything except jealous. You give your all and you absolutely expect nothing except for the sense of belonging and being loved. Time pass by, things change from honey-moon2newly-weds2married-couple2separated-coupe and then divorced-couple. Your fairy-tale world turn to be the hell, it all closes up on you, You feel like you have failed yourself, you beat yourself about it, you feel so stupid for not seeing it coming. Well there is nothing you can do now because you have been blinded by love. I don’t like the saying which states ”Love is blind” my reason being if I can see that I love the particular individual then love sees and thus it’s not blind rather I can be blinded by love (this is me and what I believe and nothing can change that!). So when you have been blinded by love and the only eye opener you get is the heartache, so in my opinion you have been processed by love, how do you pick up the pieces?
My case: I was once in-love wholeheartedly in-love. I loved the person more than the word itself, every time, every where he was always there by me, I was always holding him in my heart, he was the center of my joy, I couldn’t picture the complete world without him. He was my first love and believed him to be my last love. We were madly in love; even the blind could see that. As we grow we had to go different ways to further our careers. If there is one thing I fail to compromise, is the love that doesn’t respect. In one of the precious days, when I visited him, his other high-school girlfriend came by after school (I was in tertiary at the time), he couldn’t deny it, it was so crystal clear, then he tried to explain saying it is because I don’t wanna sleep with him so he had to do it somewhere, and my question was does that make him honest to me or is that the respect he promised me, if he can’t wait for me and the right time so can I, I dumped him though I was so in love him, with tears in my eyes, doubts in my mind and scratches in my heart, I had to let him go. It took me 3 years to pick up the pieces trust and love again. The only courage that I had left was the fact that he didn’t sleep with me, at least the was something that he didn’t take away from me, my self-pride and that’s where I find the courage to take the pieces, hold my head up high and run the race again.
Work crisis:
Another big issue that we face as we grow is the outside world as they call it, the working world. You pray for the job and you get it but your boss or any superior turns out to be a monster that doesn’t have an eye to see any good but only bad things. You put your whole self to show them what you are capable of, you work overnight, and you don’t take any break whatsoever, you put in your last breath to get things perfectly done but only to find out no one ever bother to appreciate you. When you do something good everybody overlook it but when you make a simple little mistake, it becomes the talk of the office rather of the department, the whole company or even the complex, the company party is not a party without anyone raising it up. You feel so useless and unappreciated, you feel bitter, your whole world is filled with doubts and fear about yourself and what you’ll become. Where do you get the strength to wake up the next day and go to the same place with same people for the whole day?
My case: Well I have never been in a position where I felt unappreciated but I was once in a position where I felt useless rather less-valued. I once worked for the company where I didn’t have anything to do, I mean absolute nothing. All I had to do was to surf the net and make phone calls I felt so insulted because when I was interviewed I did ask them why the position is available and they said it is because they are understaffed and have so many projects. But it looked like when I joined them, all of their projects vanished. 6 months down the line I resigned and got a better job where I feel so useful. I hate it when companies hire us for BEE and AA statistics, we need to grow our skills not the company numbers for heaven sake!!!, it was so tiring even to wake up in the morning knowing that I’m waking up to go sit behind the computer for absolutely no reason. It was really draining emotional and physically. As draining as it was, I find the courage within those grey lines to use their phone, their internet and their time to find and attend other interviews (yes I did), and it turn perfectly.
Family crisis:
A family is a bunch of people put together who certainly believes in one another and trust one another without any fear or reservations. It is where you turn to when the whole world turn its back on you. Some families are not like that, some are. What do you real do when the whole family turns its back on you, when all they can say to you is calling you by names, curse you and prove to you how much of a failure you can be, where do you get the courage to press on. How do you decide to take let go of them.
My case: I have never been in a bad situation with m family, they have always been my source of strength, if there is one precious gift that they gave me, is undoubtedly believed in me when everybody else couldn’t. There are just this bundle of joy who keeps me motivated and believing that I can achieve whatever I’m capable of dreaming.
Friendships:
We all come to a point where we meet a person and as time goes we grow closer to them, feel safe to tell them everything about us and we finally call them friends, people who can tell exactly what is on our minds without us saying a word. A person whom when all of the above has happened to you is always the first one to know. A person whom you can be yourself without fearing to be judged or criticized. That person who is just another page of your diary. A person whom you feel your secrete is much safer with them than it is with you. What do you do when they betray you, when you feel like they are using you in one way or the other?
My case: I have a friend, still is, who sucked and used me like nobody’s business, she wouldn’t do a thing in the flat (she asked to stay with me when she moved to town and didn’t have a place to stay and yes we were friends before that)without me pointing it out, not even buying a bread. Sometimes she wouldn’t even give money for grocery or rent even though she had it, she used me big time that I could feel it. One day I decided to tell her and all she could tell me was, she can survive without any food, yho I cried when I heard her saying that. Well she moved out of my flat (thank God) but now she comes every weekend, with only clothes to change and no cosmetics. Last time she was around she invited her friends(4 of them) and cooked(my food) for them, when she is around she eats like a mad person who hasn’t been eating for years and now I don’t know how to stop her from coming over and that’s a big problem!. What a gal supposed to do in this case?
We all have been in one situation or the other, how did you come out of it, in your answers some of us might get the insight and be able to short-live the process of being processed when it come knocking on our doors someday. It’s not all the experiences that we all need to go through but we can learn a thing or two from one another’s experience. As difficult as the process of being processed is, I like the character it brings out of an individual, each time we are processed we come off that process much wiser, careful, stronger and more conscious. It real build the best out of us.
My questions to you bloggers:
1. You have been in love and the love of your life let you down, how did you pick up the pieces when someone you love turns your world upside down? Where did you get the strength to love again?
2. The company or job you were praying for has turned against you, where do you get the strength to wake up in the morning, hold your head up high and go to the same place where you feel less appreciated?
3. How do you decide to take let go of the people you once believed to be your family?
4. A friend who was or is just another page of your diary, your silent self misuse the name of friendship for her own selfish benefit, how do you handle it, what do you do when your friend betray you, how do you tell them you no longer appreciate their friendship?
5. In our life journey which I call process, we all get processed sometimes longer than we can bear, in cases like that how do you keep yourself motivated?
6. what is the situation that aimed harm in you and you turn it the other way around?
We all have stories to tell about this process of being processed, this is my story and what is yours!!!.