As the host of The Apprentice US | As the United States President on Russia Today
Forget about the Kar'trashians or Dr Pimple Popper (whose yuckjob YouTube vids get 2.5 billion views BTW)... Donald Trump is undoubtedly the world's biggest reality TV star.
He became American president as a direct result of being on The Apprentice. FACT.
The past three days have proved this without a doubt. His trip to England has been mind-bending to watch because so many people - especially the media - have been so excited by it they're literally turning porno.
Everyone claims to hate him for his disgusting Pig-like ways but you'd swear it's the complete opposite when you see how they go on about him.
The screen-grab I took above is from crazy-ass channel Russia Today (DStv 407) - an exposé for another day - but the point is, their strapline gives him the doting credit of having the "touch". This despite the fact that we're on the brink of Cold War 2.
Sky News are also star stuck with their reporters standing outside Buckingham Palace waiting for his arrival:
Hey you guys - he tweeted!!!
WTF?! I wish I'd seen it. What did he say?? Tell me, tell me, tell me.
He was being a dick about someone.
Reporter 2: Oh
, I wish I'd seen. *Snicker snicker*
He's such a wild and crazy guy. OMG... is that him arriving to see the Queen?! I feel faint. Might die.
Yes, dear reader, he has LOTS of fans - many who won't admit it - and it's all because of The Apprentice. It's where the American public got to know him, it made them listen to him in the first place. He was on TV, he was familiar and not a politician.
The reason I know this to be true is that when he first announced he'd be running for president, I knew he would win.
I live across the world and yet I already knew who he was and what his schtick was. I even told sweet, un-believing American friends he would win. "No!" they declared. "Never."
And yet there he is, stuffing his face at Buckingham Palace banquets with that creepy wife of his, going off about the press as per usual, which seems to make them want him more.
The Apprentice - and Survivor - creator Mark Burnett has a lot
to answer for.
Can you think of any reality TV sletty from round the world who's bigger?