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| Joan Playing Chinedu's Fiddle |
On Friday evening I decided I'd risk my sanity by switching over to Big Brother to irritate myself at how disappointingly blah and boring everything is and was surprised when I came across everyone gyrating all over the house and each other.
I was also gobsmacked that they still haven't done anything about the sound. It's soo bad it's gone way beyond the uneccaptable and ridiculous.
When they started the show I really thought they'd at least have people in booths, listening to the levels and adjusting them according to who's speaking, but this was obviously wishful thinking - if anything it's getting worse.
Big Brother was playing music for the housemates which was so inaudible it sounded like a mechanical drone and everytime someone said something, their microphone was literally turned down.
Actually, if you think about it, if you put bits of the show together you could make a brilliant rip-off of it - like how to make the worst Big Brother in the history of TV ever.
Still, it was between two things I wanted to see and I was enjoying a chuckle at how their wine glasses had so immediately resulted in them flinging away the: "We love our family and God," rah-rah-rah pretensions they've had going on until now.
All of them, except Iffy, were stripped down to various degrees of their underwear, generally letting rip inside the house and in the garden.
Francisca was the most hysterical as the booze hit her skinny body like a tornedo, resulting in her turning into a wild, hip-thrusting beast. The best part of it was that she was on a mission of her own and wasn't interested in anyone else except herself.
It was a very different story with Joan and Chinedu though. They had a very weirdy, ultra slappable thing going on the couch which involved Chinedu proving, without a doubt, that he's the biggest slut you've ever seen in your life.
He was hanging over Joan big time, wouldn't stop staring at her as if he was drugged, was going on and on about something - which I couldn't hear but which obviously had to do with sex - and she kept saying she wasn't interested - but she was.
She seemed to be wanting to avert his attentions, but each time she got up - which was an opportunity to get rid of him - she came back and sat down for more, which in turn made Chinedu slut it up more.
She was playing him like finely tuned fiddle and through it all showed exactly why his desperate butt needs to get kicked first.
She also got into trouble from Big Brother for swearing - for saying the word - get this, "crappy." Can you believe it? Yes, I'm sure you can.
It's mind blowing that they can even begin to think that imposing such juvenile rules on them is acceptable. Big Brother asked her what she was gonna do about it, she said: "Stop swearing," Big Brother said this was good and she left the Diary Room with part of her character cut and censored, to be yawny like everyone else.
The first nominations are happening this evening (Monday, 13 March) and if anyone needs to stay it's her and Francisca. Chinedu needs to be voted for by all of them and then he needs to be thwacked next week.