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The Observer: RGB Needs an Overhaul

Written by TheObserver from the blog TheTVObserver on 10 Oct 2008
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Firstly let me start by saying that the current season of RGB “The Real Goboza” is a waste of broadcast time and a complete embarrassment to GOSSIP and its fans. If you are going to do a gossip show you need to have the balls to go all the way, period. What’s the point of producing a gossip show only to dish out glorified press releases from agents, managers and your own station. How stupid to you think mongers are!

Wait… Wait… Wait!

PEOPLE, where do these producers come from and who are these content executives who allow great concepts to be butchered and raped by third grade produces in such horrendous and disgusting productions.

Anyway… let me calm THY self down.

What is the point of putting together a gossip program without any real gossip, ever since the show premiered they always have the same type of ________________ programs (I really wanted to use those undignified words to just drive the message home) and the worst is that they try to be friends with their content material. Its like a farmer being friends with his chickens and cows and later slaughters them. I say breed the dawn things, slaughter and enjoy your roasted lamp, chicken BBQ and not to forget your very own home made boerewors. PS boerewors is the most disgusting thing ever… watch it being made, its right there with sausages and viennas. Okay, I have to take a moment......

I had to get some air.

People, or should I say “PRODUCERS” Gossip is Gossip, Its juicy and exciting because there is a very good chance, mostly 90/100, that its not true. Because people can't help themselves but tag the story with their rendition…

Example
1. “TVSA is being sued for R1million” (The Real Goboza)
2. “They say TVSA is being sued for millions, apparently they have problems” (The 1st version Fake Goboza”)
3. “TVSA is in deep trouble, they are being sued for millions” (3rd version Fake Goboza”
4. “TVSA was sued for millions” (4th version Fake Goboza”)
5. “Have you heard, TVSA was sued for millions because they have serious problems! I think its copyright issues” (5th version Fake Goboza)
6. “TVSA has copyright problems and they where sued for millions. They are going to shut down the site” (6th version Fake Goboza)
7. “TVSA is shutting down their site after being sued for millions” (7th version Fake Goboza)

Lets face it if you are one of those websites who desperately want to achieve half of what TVSA has achieved so far. i.e competition sites; reading or hearing about version 7 Fake Goboza, you will have a smile to brighten up the most darkest clothes in history.

See my point! Its sick I know but that is GOSSIP!

It can destroy you or excite you. Very much like your first sexual experience!

This is why in our legal system we have defamation or libel claims. Because people can’t help but tag any gossip that comes their way, it ends up becoming something else. We are now in a celebrity tabloid generation where the falsehood of reality is what sells papers and what dictates our purchasing decision.

It is with the greatest thirst of gossip, that RGB holds the power to be a ratings winner and one of the best programs to hit South African television in years. Why? Because South Africans like to gossip and they are also joining the world of celebrity addicted households.

The overhaul!
1. Make sure before you start gossiping or broadcasting gossip about others, your closet does not have any skeletons.   Hello!
2. Make sure that your presenters do not have any issues which may later become ammunition from your victims.
3. Make sure that your presenters are flawless or make them flawless. Rather we hate them for being attractive and TV perfect, than Gossip about them.
4. Fire the male presenter and bring back Trevor Noah, or find another guy who can present with wit and dignity
5. Keep the female presenter and give her lots of fabulous outfits… PS: She cracks me up. Just have a problem with the Xhosa aspect but people seem to be loving it and her. What’s new!
6. Rip the celebrities to shred’s, especially the one’s who lie to the public. The farmer must slaughter and eat “the chef is waiting to prepare gourmet meals”
7. Expose personalities who are involved in obviously questionable activities. Darlings they all have something to HIDE. Gosh I wish I was working of RGB I would have so much fun. I would need to be taken to a rehab centre.. Wink Wink!
8. Give us the juice… the gossip as it makes the rounds, should be broadcast on RGB.
9. In-depth research on gossip stories! -- Imagine what happens when you find out that the gossip is reality… Now that is “Goboza Turned Real”
10. Hire the best investigative journalists and private detectives to dig and dig, so that RGB can broadcast the juiciest stories with video and pictures. PS That is what they are called Exclusives! Learn from TMZ
11. Go behind the careers of our loved and adored celebrities and personalities to broadcast those interesting stories which they thought were buried, including the things they say and do on sites such as facebook, myspace and blogs etc.
12. Build a content base with sources who inform RGB of celebrities and personalities lives
13. For crying our loud RGB, hire interns and make them dig through the garbage to find out what these celebrities are eating, reading, and buying. Hello! "Enquire" have we learned anything yet.  Who is living beyond thier means... Wink Wink!
14. PLEASE guys stop broadcasting celebrity press releases. You are embarrassing yourselves.

Like paparazzo’s, gossip will always be with us and RGB has a shot of being a long-term continuum on our screens. Gossip is not pretty, like pimples. No one wants to have them but they are always waiting to be popped. So you have one pimple or hundreds, we all know that everyone has had one or will have one in their lifetime. Disgusting much!

The problem with the current format of RGB is that its boring and unimaginative. Let me ask you this… Can you watch the program without Kuli as the presenter and her rapid speech antics? How many of you have watched an entire episode of RGB... without being bored by a segment or two...mybe all?

Now I did not follow much of season one because the few episodes I saw where very boring and very predictable. Trevor’s comedic wit came in handy and would have been nicely complimented by Kuli antics. It’s a pity the producers don’t know how to keep talent. Oh wait, they are going to tell us that the audience did not response well to a predominantly Sotho/Tswana speaking presenting team since SABC1 is for the Nguni speaking nations, hence we felt that this season we will change things by bring in two new presenters who speak ONE Nguni language. Mzanzi Fosho “Se _____________” (there is an Afrikaans word which starts with G and ends with T which would drive the point home very well. Use your imagination)

In one program I watched as presenters debated Gossip and I was struck by the following statements:
“Gossip is more believable than fact”
“Does it matter if its true or not, NO!”
“Gossip can be very dangerous”

So, I think the world over we have a great audience for Gossip and if the show is produced very well with great tact and sheer television writing genius it would become a super success which may in-fact become the likes of ET “Entertainment Tonight” However, like any self respecting monger, you must do everything in your power to avoid libel and defamation lawsuits.

The TV Observers Reviews
Bring BACK Trevor Noah
Kuli Roberts is FANTASTIC and very FUNNY
RGB give us GOSSIP – GOBOZA

By The TV Observer!



24 Comments

DJ Why why
10 Oct 2008 11:07

Yo! u take your gossip seras ne......

carino
10 Oct 2008 11:27

will read this on Monday...

eish-bo
10 Oct 2008 11:47

can we have some juicy stories true dat!!!

Beyonce
10 Oct 2008 12:06

True Observer indeed, 

Kuli is wicked, she does it for me--- dont care that she's old.

eish-bo
10 Oct 2008 15:41

She irritates the living day lights off me, hayi shame uphelelwe isikhathi ugogo-thsitshi

Firstdvd
10 Oct 2008 17:22

WELL OBSERVED Observer! They need to do more research on how to get those so call famous ppl off-side! Irrelevant but close, 'CHEATERS on etv'!

Ngqesta
12 Oct 2008 06:29

exactly.......who cares about the Ten hottest chicks in SA....we wanna know what those chicks have been up to.....not just their pretty faces.........by the way i beg to differ.........HLUBI MBOYA is hot yes..........but most certainly not the hottest...pleeze!

Joe
12 Oct 2008 06:38

mhmmmmmmmmmm ..........next time just get to the point!  

LOL @ "It can destroy you or excite you. Very much like your first sexual experience!" 

can you plz just explain how can ur first time destroy you! i just dont get it!

Cande
12 Oct 2008 09:18

C mon now JOE, great writing dear. Pity i cant say anything about that show.

tha - bang
13 Oct 2008 02:24

the observer strikes again.ive actually stopped watching RGB Jacob's cross is more juicer and intriguing

Luksta
13 Oct 2008 02:33

I apologise for those fools who have been saying I paid people to vote for my sister, Hlubi Mboya, to be voted sexiest woman on RGB.
I am a single mother, you monkeys, and have no money to be paying strangers.
If you guys are bored, I will give you bananas to occupy yourselves with. Try it, you might like it.
 

This is what Kuli Roberts wrote in Sunday World.

pariri
13 Oct 2008 04:06

"I apologise for those fools who have been saying I paid people to vote for my sister, Hlubi Mboya, to be voted sexiest woman on RGB."
heheheheheh  I'm sure u kuli is a blocker LOL

Shuga babe
13 Oct 2008 04:23

"I apologise for those fools who have been saying I paid people to vote for my sister, Hlubi Mboya, to be voted sexiest woman on RGB.
I am a single mother, you monkeys, and have no money to be paying strangers.
If you guys are bored, I will give you bananas to occupy yourselves with. Try it, you might like it. "

Shame on her for being such a fool and pay those people her childrens' money.
she thinks she can just fool us around like that. No ways what kind of a fooler who doesn't know how to fool???  shame she can't fool us. IF SHE DIDN'T PAID THEM SHE WENT DOWN ON HER KNEES AND BEG THEM TO VOTE FOR HER SISTER. Poor Hlubi!!!!!!!

Dimago
13 Oct 2008 04:34

the observer strikes again.ive actually stopped watching RGB Jacob's cross is more juicer and intriguing
Thabs, JC e fedile mos...or am i missing something?

I cant believe RGB is still on TV....

qaqamba
13 Oct 2008 09:49

PPL ndifuna ukufaka i cv yam ku Lucas Radebe,, SINCE HER WIFE PASSED AWAY, ukhona onokundinceda  , ndenze njani??????/ must i wait for the funeral or ndizue kwi funeral nam????/ukuze angibone????????

awelani
13 Oct 2008 09:54

qaqamba, u need Jesus in ur lyf child, the poor guy is in mourning and YOU want to get in his pants (literally), no man,, ask for 4giveness, really..

Shuga babe
13 Oct 2008 10:02

@Qaqamba, Lucas would never go out with people like you, abantu abangena nembeza he just lost his wife for crying out loud gal!!!!!!!! You need to get a life before you go insane. or vele you looking forward to date a Widow!!!!!!!!

qaqamba
13 Oct 2008 10:20

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thanx GOD i wanted your attention,, I WILL NEVER DO THT GOD WILL SEND ME STRAIGHT TO HELL,, im so sorry guyz,, i just wanted to check ba niyaphila na apha eTVSA, HAHAAAAAA , 
Otherwise i cried yesterday when i heard these tragic news,, im thinking of her kids, its not nice to grow up without a MOTHER,, but GOD IS THERE HE WILL NEVER LEAVE THEM, MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE.

(hope my aplogy is accepted)..LOVE U ALL,

Shuga babe
13 Oct 2008 10:29

"(hope my aplogy is accepted)..LOVE U ALL,"   DONE!!!!!

awelani
13 Oct 2008 10:34

"(hope my aplogy is accepted)..LOVE U ALL," DONE!!!!! Same here.. was staring 2 think u r from Banana island, glad 2 know ur still with us..

cuz-cuz
13 Oct 2008 10:37

I Luvd the so you think u can dance episode on Saturday., Bathembu and MAEGANE rocked and they had fun performing, i enjoyed their performance and also wanted to be their friend ha

when they showed Elizma and Teakwando(sp)dance preparation i knew their performance want gonna be great , theu didnt click from the start. 

Kim i am so luving her, that gal can show emotions in her dance moves. 

Ashy and Lee disapointment, that Alien meet hip hop thing sucked. 

who i want out is Teakwando and lee.

Questionss: so do these contestants stay in some house all week prepare for their satursday performamce and tuesday elimination , Dont they work ? 

why aint they recaps for this show and the American Next top model

qaqamba
13 Oct 2008 10:40

hahahaaaaaaaaaa sana im here for LIFE,, TV SA uya rocka, haaaaaaaaaa

Macap
03 Dec 2008 11:38

ugogo Kuli is so bitter she can hang her self, she is discouranging young people about LOVE all time coz Yena is singing in my times. HAHAHAHAHA

Macap
03 Dec 2008 11:38

ugogo Kuli is so bitter she can hang her self, she is discouranging young people about LOVE all time coz Yena is singing in my times. HAHAHAHAHA


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