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Monday World - Movida Woes and Yawn Cases

Written by Tazteeq from the blog Opinion Ramp on 06 Feb 2012
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Movida in Sunninghill was the place and Thursday was the day. Females were gaudy and yelling in ecstasy as hunky Cosmopolitan Calendar men graced the stage with their masculine presence. TVSA was there to capture the storm of women’s intimate apparel thrown to stage in pure excitement and eyeful-devouring that spread screams of lust across the room.


 
Called to stage one by one and expectedly showing up half naked, they sent poor women on yet another knee-weak scream-trip. A few other men in the midst couldn’t help but throw in their screaming talents in the mix...


Lalla covering for V Entertainment! Very nice girl!

Ultimately Bobby van Jaarsveld scooped the Cosmopolitan’ Sexiest Man for 2012 announced by the Cosmopolitan editor herself in the most meanest of the miniest dresses I’ve ever seen in leopard print. In addition to the plastic-looking trophy and the much desired title was a whopping R10 000 in cash baybay! Dang! 



We arrived a little late to the do and missed quite a lot of action, including Liquid Deep’s performance. When we arrived the host of the party was some unknown female specie with a perfectly well-rehearsed northern-surburb accent, initially your girl B, who clearly disappeared after the party ‘cause i couldn’t see her anywhere... 


Announcing the winner, its the presenter and the Cosmopolitan Editor

Cosmo 2012
Snapped here with the Mag editor, its the 2012 Cosmopolitan's Sexiest Man!

Brutal fruit was the main sponsor of the event and we were greeted with a bottle at threshold. One could bath in it, the drinks were served in abundance. 


Jen Su herself! she had to be there...

I must admit that the party wasn’t celebrity packed; only bumped into a few famous faces. From my observations, I could easily conclude that Cosmopolitan has a HUGE white following...in all honesty, Cosmopolitan has always been ‘Just another magazine’ in my head but my perception on the mag changed after the event. 


David Tlale posing for TVSA


Our very own Makisto posing with the GQ coverboy Cecil Mleshane

I do however have a few gripes, it didn’t look like the party was well planned. If you didn’t know the name of the lady who was giving Goodybags then you were not getting none. Refreshments scarcity, dry sushi-like finger-snack were served...and we had to buy our own drinks and the place was too hot...hayi!


Mika Stefano and Selumathunzi's Lunga. Mika wasnt so delighted with the choice of the winner

On other news, shock spread through KZN when a man believed to be the late Maskandi Star Khulekani "Mgqumeni" Khumalo was seen roaming the streets. Sunday Sun reports that people drove as far as 600km to see this man. ‘Mgqumeni’ said he woke up in a bush somewhere and for some reason he managed to consciously make his way into town. After the Twitter buzz about his fakeness, Monday World also puts its stamp on the droning Twenvelope: BOGUS! 


The Real Mgqumeni


The 'Other' Mgqumeni

Yes, She is news and for some reason she always ends up on Monday World. Apparently Nonhle Thema was busy having an orgy when we were celebrating the end of 2011 outdoors with fireworks and binging on braaied meat and booze. This comes after a ‘twight’/twitter fight and a heavy tweets-exchange-bloodbath between Nonhle and Morale Veritas last week after Nonhle openly discussed Veritas’ aunt’s private parts. When will Nonhle Sit Down though? Yawn! 


ya ya ya Nonhle!  Sit Down maan!

On more ‘Yawn’ news, Prosper Mkwaiwa was reported to have had a mini stress-attack after Sunday World ran the story that his wife had a lesbian relationship with Queen Elizabeth. Poor Prosper was even seen wandering the streets by himself. Friends thought he was so drained by his wife’s lesbo-case that they were scared he might commit suicide...Yawn Again! 


Prosper and Tina

We at Monday World yet again wish all bloggers a wonderful stress-free week ahead...



34 Comments

Tazteeq
06 Feb 2012 13:02

Vandimerwe
06 Feb 2012 13:05

Chix
06 Feb 2012 13:07

Hee heee heee When Maki is going to attend a "sexy" do he also dresses sexy... I usually see him in blazers... so he was in a vestinyana!!! Nice Makistozzzzzzz!!!

Tazteeq
06 Feb 2012 13:11

Chix, it was a very hot night! everything was bare...lol

Chix
06 Feb 2012 13:15

Am just wondering why you, Tazz didn't take a pic for us... you know moss we love seeing you guys!!! *trying to score grammies*

Cnglemother
06 Feb 2012 13:35

Taz u forgot the pic of the new Mgqumeni or Mgqomeni as per Myname and Vusi so people can jaj lol for emselves.the guy is such a character i was cracking up when he was interviewed.

Cnglemother
06 Feb 2012 13:39

oh Taz lento kaNoCurtain its old ngoku, nisayimentiona nakuleveki?what happened to NGUNI news izolo?we sat waiting forever amen.

Tazteeq
06 Feb 2012 13:44

hehehe, Cnglemother, all done now...Apparently tests revealed that he is Sibusiso something and he is not the real Mgqumeni! He should get punished for what he did, why didnt they test his singing abilities before 'believing' him? lol

Cnglemother
06 Feb 2012 13:46

kwa-kwa-kwa-kwa!oh no!what a mess.he's gotta be stoned this fool.the nerve!

Cnglemother
06 Feb 2012 13:50

anybody can sing maskandi#hides#.singing ability testing wasnt gona help.

myname
06 Feb 2012 13:57

Thanks Tazy. I've been waiting the whole morning.

Awww Cinglemum he was interviewed futhi???? I didn't know about that. I  saw him waving to the crowd in KZN this morning on ETV news but i had to leave before he even speaks. WOW this guy has become a celebrity. What surprises me in this story is that the family believes its him while the police and public says its not him. Kanti doesn't this guy had scars, birthmark, for sure his totolozi can be different to the real guy. Akere they said he had 2 wives for sure one of them did a BlowJob so she should confirm naye aveze into yakhe. I mean there are so many things maan.

Number 2 it's the Malema saga.

Guys plz tell me where is Zuma? He is so quiet…. One will even think he was part of this plotting. 

Yazi ive been thinking about  “Tbo” oka Thabo Mbeki. For sure he has been smoking his horse-pipe getting high the whole night, drinking his Jameson, listening to his favourite jazz, dancing with his lady and they wrap it up with Rihanna saying “Cheers to the freaking weekend”. WOW! I know that feeling! Damn! I can imagine his smile with that dentist with black things yeeerrrrrrreeeee! Life is good but I still dig him noma unamazinyo anentshongo. 

Shame I wonder how Malema is doing vandag. I mean waking up without a throne is totally not a cool thing. This guy thought he was the ANCESTOR but look now who is having the last laugh? Ilife ifana namadaysi I’m telling you. The wheel never stops turning. Shame 2012 is not his.

At least he will be a full-time farmer. Maybe I must consult him I want to buy pigs.




swazzy
06 Feb 2012 14:02

Tazz u shud have entered wud have loooved to see ur chest .. Those two pics of mqgumeni are the same real person the imposter doesn't even look like mqgumeni not even close Saw him on E news , Mqgumeni was admitted @ da hospital were I work in before his death and dat is not him.. I can't belive the wife said its him she is psycho... Nonhle no comment!!

myname
06 Feb 2012 14:13

Makisto you supposed to be there not posing with Cecil. I wanna see you next year competing for that 10grand and spend with me OK!

Cheesa
06 Feb 2012 14:40

As for this mgqumeni person, I dont believe his story whatsoever. I didnt know mgqumeni before all this saga only now that I know that there was a maskandi singer named mgqumeni. 

This man is taking chances its sad that the family of the real guy believes that he is alive. It was even worse when the wife confirmed that its him even saying the scars that this so called mgqumeni has prove that he is her husband. 

That man is only making them fools. I just wonder if the wife hasn't perhaps done it with this mgqumeni to prove that he is her husband coz surely she must know how her man used to his thing lol. Maybe she should come out with that too I mean how did she see his scars in his body and all or maybe they just checked?

I also heard that the man was interviewed on umhlobo by Saba. Apparently he said he was somewhere outside Gauteng. There he was eating sand mix with milk. There were alot other people there. He was also asked if he would continue with music he apparently said yes he will. 

Hayi shem I really dont believe this man and he looks competely different to the real guy. No person would have changed that much after 2 years of being buried. 

The real Mgqumeni must be turning in his grave. How can this man fool his family like this. Now we can only wait for the DNA tests tomorrow. Apparently the figure prints prove that he is not the real mgqumeni. 

About Cosmo hayi shem I have never bought Comso mag with my own money. I get to read it when I get it from somewhere or someone otherwise going to the shop to buy it I have never! 

The unkown MC girl Taz is Poppy Ntshongwane of 5FM. I think she works with DJ Fresh on his show apparently she is a club DJ too *rme*

maddie
06 Feb 2012 14:43

mina what shocked me is the 13 yr old who poisoned his mom after he was accused of stealing R700

myname
06 Feb 2012 14:54

Mna shame if i was one of his wives or mom i would ask him to show his THING. I mean as a mother for sure you still know how it shaped like. He cant have the same size & shape maan! NEE folks! 

MAKAVEZE UMGQOKS! Maar they look the same kum maan. Hayi this story indenza ndibe ding dong!

Kahle kahle he was a zombie.

VusiK
06 Feb 2012 15:16

They look nothing alike ... different nose, different mouth, different eyes, different teeth ... the only thingin the same place umgcabo ... Perhaps the same nyanga sliced them cheeks up.... perhaps its the same nyanga who raised the real one from the dead ... KZN !!! Izokusetha !!!, what I find fascinating is that people bussed themselves fro EC, WC, MP & Limpopo to see witness this impostor ... Mara niyazi ... No wonder our country is going to pot .... ninesikhathi sokuganga zakhamuzi ! iTjooo !!! If everybody had just given their travel waste money to a fund, we could have sent twenty five or more students to Nyuvesithi for two years.

Tazteeq
06 Feb 2012 15:17

I didn't know about that. I saw him waving to the crowd in KZN this morning on ETV news but i had to leave before he even speaks. WOW this guy has become a celebrity

he did become a celeb indeed. he is an opportunist

Those two pics of mqgumeni are the same real person the imposter doesn't even look like mqgumeni not even close Saw him on E news , Mqgumeni was admitted @ da hospital were I work in before his death and dat is not him

I got the pic from some online reports and it looked like it's for the 'fake' Mqgumeni...I should dig for the 'bogus' one...

mina what shocked me is the 13 yr old who poisoned his mom after he was accused of stealing R700
Yho...thats shocking! last year a teenager also killed her grandfather with a Frying pan when she was questioned for coming home in the morning...

Number 2 it's the Malema saga. 

I didnt give myself enough time to read or search news on this Malema issue, me being not so crazy and clued-up about politics, damn! would have been an interesting one...

The unkown MC girl Taz is Poppy Ntshongwane of 5FM. I think she works with DJ Fresh on his show apparently she is a club DJ too *rme*
Damn! I knew i've seen her before, she is in the Tropika island of treasure right?

VusiK
06 Feb 2012 15:18

... Then repeat the cycle & create another zombie ... donate instead of going ... and two more years .... Minimum 25 Nyuvezi gradu's capped and joining the jobless but educated ranks in line.

VusiK
06 Feb 2012 15:20

I I had driven from anywhere for this impostor ... iSunday world would have front page full action pictures of me Sjamboking this conman .... Kowda nabafazi bakhe kutheni na ? Sebabona isifanekiso esingekho ... I know it's hard when one's husband passes away, but itswayi cannot be so terrible for them to claim someone who looks nothing like their husband ... bekhona o'sbali ukuthi babangene ... Mxm !!!

Tazteeq
06 Feb 2012 15:21

iTjooo !!! If everybody had just given their travel waste money to a fund, we could have sent twenty five or more students to Nyuvesithi for two years

LOL...true VusiK

Mathaz
06 Feb 2012 15:23

Mr June won???? Boy do i have an eye for the finer things in life...he was my favourite shem...tjo so proud of myself kwaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Nonhle was written about on Mail and Guardian and City Press, to say that i am shocked is an understatement.  Two of my favourite papers and they write pieces about her, i mean really?? 

VusiK
06 Feb 2012 15:26

I must read about this person who poisoned the mother.

VusiK
06 Feb 2012 15:54

@Mathaz ... It makes newss because words like Orgy and Sex and Threesome, especially Lesbian are the new buzzword everywhere ... so when our closets topple out onto the pavement .... Everybody is like Tjoooooo!!!! .......... The editors and gossip columnists need a wake-up call ... we're all here because of sex ..... some (like me) happen to be more adventurous than others (like Nonhle) for far longer .... anyways ... kinky's been around since the caveman went on too long a hunt & never came back home... #Bushmeat#

makisto
07 Feb 2012 12:33

Thanks guys, i will enter next year, ok. I just need to get my six pack in order kaloku.

Th event was great hey. Thanks you Taz for standing in for me again hey.

Tjoooo, guys, I was talking to Kuli Roberts and asked to take a pic of her interviewing the finalists backstage and she said to me: "Biiiitcchhhh, i am not gonna interview anyone". I was really hurt at the moment but very quickly realised that kana I was talking to Kuli and I became fine again. Mara Kuli le mahlapa a hae

Tazteeq
07 Feb 2012 13:27

Tjoooo, guys, I was talking to Kuli Roberts and asked to take a pic of her interviewing the finalists backstage and she said to me: "Biiiitcchhhh, i am not gonna interview anyone". I was really hurt at the moment but very quickly realised that kana I was talking to Kuli and I became fine again. Mara Kuli le mahlapa a hae

LMAO, mina if i was you, i'd have attacked her on twitter, Phela we all have a little Nonhle inside of us! we just dont wanna unlock her! tltltltltltl

Tazteeq
07 Feb 2012 13:27

Th event was great hey. Thanks you Taz for standing in for me again hey.

the pleasure is all mine skeem

Cande
07 Feb 2012 13:40

LOL this Mnqomeni story hle, triple yawn! How do people fall for such

myname
07 Feb 2012 13:50

Shame Maki! Rhaaaa CELEBRITY or NOT no one is allowed to call me a B. I'll deal with that person ALONE.

nzuzo
07 Feb 2012 14:16

know it's hard when one's husband passes away, but itswayi cannot be so terrible for them to claim someone who looks nothing like their husband ... bekhona o'sbali ukuthi babangene ... Mxm !!!KWAKWAAA

vernom
08 Feb 2012 20:43

baby steps maki baby steps!soon it will b you at the top...2013 maybe!

VusiK
08 Feb 2012 21:13

Nangu umfelokazi ka Mgqomeni ethi .... "Niyamazi lo' (impostor) ...,ubaba wengane yami" ....... kwaaaaaaa! .... Mina ... I believe her , the problem is going to be her in-laws when testate matters arise later ... watch this space !

Cheesa
09 Feb 2012 09:04

LOL This is becoming a comedy LOLest!!!! Can you read THIS guys

Tazteeq
09 Feb 2012 09:39

@Cheesa, ya, this is getting out of hand now...its crazy! lol....the family is too gullible...and i've seen the guy on TV (Apologies for putting the wrong picture on the article), i must say they dont even look alike....Did this family even know how the real Mgqumeni looked like? lol


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