I do not have depth or knowledge of this topic. I have tried Google but it only focuses on the Western concept of widows.
Women are supposed to dress in these black/navy blue or shweshwe clothes as a symbol of their mourning. They are supposed to wear these attires for at least a month and they can only be cleansed of these clothes in winter period. This is the rules that my mom was forced to abide by from her in-laws. My mom being the obedient wife and "makoti" did not dispute this regardless that my father was never a traditionalist and has never ever practiced any of his culture because he did not know which culture or tradition to follow(mixed race issues).
My mom was the first women in this family to be told to abide by these traditional laws, even thou she is not the first widow in the family. The funny or sad thing about this is that none of the elders actually knew what rules or instructions she is supposed to follow, they were arguing amongst themselves and all of them were imposing a culture that she/he does not follow but they have heard or seen from other people. CRAZY!
It has been seven months since my father passed away, the elders have decided that my mom has to be cleansed and she has to remove these black clothes. Arguments again because they do not know who should do what and when.
Ooh, the 'elders" have told my mom that she is supposed to sit in the back seat when she is in the taxi, she is not allowed to be outside the house after sunset and she should not stand in front of other people( meaning she can’t stand in a queue). She also has to wash these clothes after dark and by hand (no washing machine).
The doldrums are still on which culture to follow this weekend; my mom is half Sotho and Tswana. My dad's family from my grandfather's side is half Tswana and Italian and his mother is Zulu. In the absence of my grandfather, the Zulu family has taken over and the half Tswana and Italian also want to be heard. So bona khona