Once upon a time there was a mexicano by the name of Robert Rodriguez who would find clever ways to short cut the studio system and make movies.
He would make films that teeny boppers and film fundi’s would watch as guilty pleasures due to his movies trashy element such as a lot of sexy babes in sexy outfits, over the top cool action sequences and even more over the top lines i.e el mariachi, desperados, from dusk till dawn, once upon a time in mexico and planet terror are some of his contributions to the world of trashy and fun cinema.
His last offering, planet terror had all the usual trademarks as well as a lot of self-reflexivity, which made it a post modernists enthusiasts wet dream but alas machete feels like a joke that was never meant to be taken too seriously and unfortunately it was.
Machete features the 60 year old Danny Trejo as the bad-mother-shut-your-mouth-type whom we first saw in desperado with the knives and the bad attitude chasing Antonio Banderas mythical “El Mariachi”.
now, thanks to the grindhouse movies, where Danny Trejo featured in a fake trailer for the non-existent movie (at that time) Machete, he too is creating his own mythical big mexicano hero, who wields knives instead of a guitar and he is fittingly named Machete; 10 guesses why.
If you like the reasoning of the title then you’d like the movie cause its that level and it never tries to be anything more than that.
The good thing about machete is that ,Robert Rodriguez and his collaborators know what the 16 year olds in us want; so he threw in a lot of pretty ladies from Jessica Alba to Michelle Rodriguez even Lindsay Lohan, and they're all dressed very skimpily ,with at least one semi-nude shot of each - they all exude major sex appeal.
If the pretty ladies in skimpy outfits were not good enough, he threw in plenty of gory action that would make you laugh or sick depending on what you ate or smoked before you watched the movie.
Then to add some street cred he threw in some decent actors from De Niro ,to Jeff Fahey ( the pilot from Lost) - even Steven Siegel, playing a baddie for the first time ever.
Even good old nash aka Don Johnson sparkles as the bad guys' minion. The film sparkles with lively characters like Cheech Marin cursing and gun totting priest, Jeff Fahey is brilliant is there greasy businessman, the characters are on point and they are enjoyable to watch.
Although Machete could be seen as a fun movie, it does run out of steam almost halfway through cause the bed-hopping just becomes too much and the action becomes so insane that it lost me half way through.
Then the whole b plot about the mexicano immigrants and their plight - Rodriguez does not handle it as smartly as he should have, he even resorts to fiery speeches, which made me sick in my stomach - he should have taken a page from Bloomkamp aka Mr. District 9 about how not make your theme too didactic.
The other problem with the film is Rodriguez Achilles heel: character development. the man has always struggled with this - I believe it was only in El Mariachi and to some extent in Planet Terror were his characters actually had some gloss of development.
Its nice to have the gags, the action, the sexy babes but something more than just a concept needs to hold them together and Machete failed in that respect.
Although once upon a time one was okay with guys just referencing exploitation films from the 60 and 70’s, I think in the naughties in the era of the David Fincher and Christopher Nolan, the audience expects more than just gimmick treatments or maybe I’ve just out grown my 16 year old teen boy - I want a bit of depth with my trash. Maybe it’s too much to ask nhe?
I believe all those who think Michael Bay is an action god would like this. if not stay away or wait for the dvd if you don’t want to fidget uncontrollably in the cinema - and not in a good way.