Yes when one has control it is a totally great feeling, however it becomes very awful when one faces challenges and hardship along the way, and only to find out that nobody will help you take decisions, only you can make that decision. Sometimes it becomes so confusing because even you don't know what to do, thinking of the down sides of taking the final decision in the long run.
You have been dating this guy for 4 years now, you know his family and friends; and your family knows him also. Then you discover that he had children with other girls and didn't tell you about it. Then you confront your boyfriend with this, he denied it at first, but because you had all the facts, he ended up confessing. However, he said that it was a mistake, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Also his family kept this way from you because of being afraid to loose you.
In your mind, you also want him to be part of your life and you don't want to have a relationship with anyone else; even though other guys approach you, and tell you that you are beatiful, your heart is with him. You have tried to get distance and be away from him, but you miss him a lot.
Now the question is, would you stay or would you leave?
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