When is the right time

Written by Cutie Pie from the blog When is it right on 03 Aug 2010
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Hi Bloggers

Yesterday, out of boredom I read about Alicia Keys getting married. I happened to bump into the info about ex-wife's unhappiness about the whole thing and even calling her (Alicia) a home wrecker.

Before I could pass any judgement, I decided to read more about their situation. Apparently they got married in 2004 and by 2008 they were planning to divorce. There were even rumours that Swizz Beatz (Alicia's hubby) had moved out before they announced their (Him and ex wife) divorce plans or they were separated.

My question is not necessarily about AK and her being a homewrecker. I'm sure most of us have seen and witnessed people (men or women) having affairs during their SEPARATION stage. Obviously the end result would be a divorce.

If someone has been separated from their spouse for a while (let's say 6 months), can we label the next partner a homewrecker? I've never been separated before, but I assume that when you are separated from someone you have "broken up till further notice". I stand to be corrected on this one....

During the separation stage/period, is one not entitled to do whatever they please? Can one be called cheating during this period? When do we draw the line?

Sometimes it happens that the other partner does not want to get divorced, what do you do next? I just think before we label people maybe we just need to get more info on the matter.....

What do you think?

6 Comments

Cutie Pie
03 Aug 2010 12:29

I'm interested in what you have to say....

poshspice
03 Aug 2010 12:50

If someone has been separated from their spouse for a while (let's say 6 months), can we label the next partner a homewrecker? I've never been separated before, but I assume that when you are separated from someone you have "broken up till further notice". I stand to be corrected on this one....

In most cases these affairs start before the separation. Just like the AK and Swizz.

My view is that separation means we need some time apart to think things through, whether we want to be together or not. I deally you shouldn't date other people until the divorce is finalised. Therefore if you are dating a guy in separation, you are still dating a married man.

you are not a homewrecker but dating someone who is still attached to another man or woman legally.

Cutie Pie
03 Aug 2010 12:51

mhhhh... I hear u posh...

felfel
03 Aug 2010 13:29

Either way the homewrecker is not the other woman, its the man. Its his home he is wrecking, so he's the homewrecker. How can the other woman be wrecking a home thats not even hers? The man is the one who is supossed to wait untill everything is finall then proceed whith his life instead of 'wrecking his home'

poshspice
03 Aug 2010 14:02

It's just that with people who have troubled marriages, it is difficult to know if they are telling the truth or not, because chances of getting the other side of the story are slim

He might say it is the partner that does not want a divorce to keep you, only to find that he is indecisive himself...my view is most men do not believe in divorce, they'd rather have affairs but still go home at the end of the day. when they separate or divorce it is really the last resort.

but having said that, it is true that sometimes a partner does not want to grant a divorce and wants to hold on and keep delaying the process.

Then it is up to you dating that person whether you want to continue dating him while he is still in limbo or leave him.

Cutie Pie
03 Aug 2010 14:25

I think we also play part in "helping" people wreck their homes though. Had there been not participants, I'm sure a person would know know whether they want to work things out or not

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