Relationship Tips
Being a woman who’s been married for five years and in the same relationship for 10 years I’ve found the key is to communicate, open communication - always, when things are bad and when things are good.
Sometimes you forget to do this in how we communicate daily and I’ve learnt that just being able to speak to my husband - being approachable and being open to hearing the things we don’t necessarily want to hear.
Often in relationships you want to protect each other so you have an opinion but you don’t necessarily want to express it. Your husband says: “Why don’t we go to such-and-such place?” and you don’t really want to go but you do - and then you treat him really badly all night because all you want to do is go home.
Sex Tips
Well, - if you caught the first episode of the show you’ll have seen that Nox thinks out of the box for the first time ever - so I would say, in general, whether it’s life, your career, or sex life - you have to be true to who you are but every now and then you need to do something you wouldn’t usually do, which is what Nox did. There were loads of petals involved, a pole, candles, high heels.
Tashi: Have you tried any of her sex tips?
Kgomotso: No - I don’t have a pole in my house - I’m still looking for one!
4Play Tips
I think it has to be designed by you and your partner. I also think you need to think out of the box with this to have fun, especially as Valentine’s Day approaches. Surprise yourself and your partner.
Tashi: What’s one absolute winning tip you have for guys?
Kgomotso: Tell your mistress not to phone! This is very relevant for Nox. Sometimes it’s also about getting back to basics - when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time things can get static so days like Valentine’s Day can be the time to go back to do doing what you used to do when you first met.
Love Tips
Let me just call Dr Love for this! ... I think the most important and simplest of loves is love of self - I think you can’t ever love someone completely, without judgement, if you don’t love yourself that way.
Then, to find ways to truly communicate that you have this deep, undying feeling for the partner in your life - to let them know how special they are to you. It can be in so many ways: going out, staying in - making home more interesting than it usually is.
Mbali Maphumulo, who plays Amira
Status: Engaged
Relationship Tips
Let’s start at the beginning of a relationship: there are things that you can see in a man at the start that are no-no’s that you should watch out for.
If he looks like he doesn’t work and he looks like he’s gonna ask for money from you - he’s probably gonna do that. If it looks like a frog and acts like a frog - it is a frog.
At the same you could go for someone with a Lambourghini but then you need to know that the Lamboughini doesn’t go to the mall to do the shopping.
Sex Tips
I just think enjoying is part of it. Make sure to speak to your partner about what you like - then it’s bound to be enjoyable for both of you. Learn about your partner and let your partner learn about you, that’s the key.
Tashi: I think one can get afraid of saying what we like in case our partner thinks: “Weirdo-alert, that’s too kinky.”
Mbali: Yes if you were to say: “I’d really like to beat you right now, “ and they’re like “Oh, no!”
Tashi: I think men are usually up for anything though.
Mbali: Yes, I think they know what they want - they want adventure. I think too - sex is a very sensitive subject so it has to be approached sensitively. More than 35% of women out there have been abused so you have to slowly get into a conversation that concerns sex.
4Play Tips
If you treat a woman right - for me, it’s about the whole day. You have to prepare for it - you can’t piss me off and then expect me to want to get to it.
I have a thing of not leaving things hanging. I want people to understand where I’m coming from even if we don’t agree with each other.
That’s part of foreplay: being sincere about understanding your partner. The tea bringing - where you bring me tea and ask if I’m okay. Saying you’re going to cook ... being a genuinely nice guy - that’s foreplay for me.
Also, if you’re a good kisser you’ve got it. The rest of the stuff we can work on but the basics need to be good.
Love Tips
I feel like love is about letting go - even if it makes you a fool for love, like my character on the show - just do it and give it your all, even if it’s once in life. BUT the thing that love is blind, deaf and dumb - uh-uh, don’t go for that.
You just use too many muscles getting angry - if it's not working you just have to sit down and say: “Lord, this one’s not for me,” because the game of love is a very dangerous one.
I had a friend from African Footprint who had problems with the mother of his child and he decided to throw himself off the 14th floor head-first, that’s how complicated love is.
People do these things on the spur of the moment - love is not a child’s game - it can be a beautiful thing but it can also really go sour. You have to question things - the heart is a very delicate organ in the body, when it shuts off, you’re gone.
Tashi: Yes I’ve always believed people can die of a broken heart.
Mbali: They can. Also there are many who’ve died having sex. Because of the heart.
Tashi: Yes like those politicians who strangle themselves with plastic bags.
Tiffany Barbuzano (also credited as Tiffany Jones), who plays Danny
Status: Married.
Relationship Tips
I would say that people need four things: they need to seen, heard, recognised and they need to make a contribution. The reason I say those four is that the Dalai Lama says that all people need those four things.
It’s so true - whether you’re black, white, 3-years old, 30 years old or 300 years old, if you don’t have all of those four things then you don’t feel like you’re making a contribution.
It’s little things - like my hubby and I - if he changes the cat litter and I don’t say “It’s awesome that you changed the cat litter,” he’s gonna start getting pissed off that he’s the one who does it and no-one recognises him for it - you know what I’m saying?
Sex Tips
I would say the most important thing for having good sexual relations is that you have to feel confident. You really do - the moment you feel “Oh my God, my ass is too big,” or “Oh my tummy,” - there’s no ways you’re going to enjoy that encounter.
I think role-playing is so important - I really do. Maybe it’s because I’m an actress but there are moments where you want to play the conquerer and moments where you want to play the victim like, “Oooh no I’m not in the mood ... mmm, you are? Okay why not?”
I think you need to
not be in a routine. It shouldn't be like: “Oh I know exactly what he likes so I’ll kiss his neck, touch his balls and it’s over.” You need to surprise each other.
Tashi: Are there any roles you could recommend?
Tiffany: Absolutely. The teacher/pupil always works.
4Play Tips
For me, it’s not just about sex - if we have a fight in the morning and hubby wants sex when he gets home later, there’s absolutely no ways he’s getting it. They’ve kind of forgotten about it - the one track mind thing that men have - “I want sex and I want it now.”
Foreplay can be an SMS half-way through the day saying: “I miss you and can’t wait to see you tonight.” Taking your car to be washed for you without you asking.
An example: I like old black and white photographs and I’ve wanted to do a wall of black and white photographs for ages and ages. For Christmas he went to my my mom and dad, my aunts and uncles, my gran and got a whole lot of pictures that I’ve said I’ve loved and he got them all framed. That was foreplay - he got
very lucky, very often after that.
Love Tips
I would say, don’t lose your individuality. You often forget the things that attracted to you to the person in the first place because it becomes easy. No love relationship is easy - the minute it feels easy is the moment things aren’t working perhaps.
You have to work at it and ask difficult questions so you can find out the truth about how your partner’s feeling. I also think truth-telling’s incredibly important. Even if you’re telling little white lies, I think it’s a problem.
Tashi: What about secrets? Should you have them?
Tiffany: Yes definitely as long as it’s not detrimental to the relationship. It’s different from truth-telling - if you don’t have secrets there’s no intrigue, it’s like a brother and sister relationship, it’s part of keeping your individuality. If you find someone attractive who’s a friend of yours you can look but it doesn’t mean you have to order Mr Delivery.
Extra tip: How's this: after chatting to everyone I had a dream that ... I kissed a girl - and I liked it, ha. For the first time ever I understood what Katy Perry's been going on about. I've told some guys about it and they seemed so thrilled I'm thinking it's definitely
a sex tip of note.