Mine and Hers

Written by Capser from the blog INSECURITY on 04 Feb 2010
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Ever wondered why you wouldn't get a straight answer or a relevant person to talk to when you have problems with the government? If not, visit the home affairs someday or listen to one our former President Thabo Mbeki's state addressing. I am a 23 year old boy and I have been running almost half of my life like the government. I wasn't straight. NOT GAY. Please read on... The thing why I say government is that, I have NEVER and I mean, NEVER been in a relationship with one girl. From my first to my current ex. Please get me straight, I did not sleep with multiple girls or whatsoever. I just couldn't handle one on one relationships. This has been going for years until last year (2009) I met a very beautiful girl (prefer not to disclose her name). Look I have to admit, I am down and up about this girl, I mean she does it all for me. She is focused, intelligent, fun, talkative, loving, kind, takes care of me(etc)... man you name all the qualities you can think of. It all started when I decided to deliberately leave my old ways of going about other girls for this lady, from flirting to multiple girls to night clubbing. Everything and absolutely Everything I left. Don't ask me how I did it because I don't know... But now here is the crux of the matter. Every time, I am with her, it's so great sometimes I wish we could stay in that mood forever. It's when we part ways where it really hits. Few minutes after I leave it feels completely different. Feels like she is not that into me; maybe she wants to leave me but doesn't want to be the bad person; maybe I am asking for far too much; what if she is been seeing someone better than me; what if we break up; am I faking myself to this girl; are we in a dream here; It's been 15 minutes and I miss her already, does she miss me as much? What if and more What if!!!! What confuses me even more is she doesn't even give the impression that could lead to feeling that way. So where do I get this feeling from? I don't know! I don't know, I don't know and I am confused. Maybe I need help, do I? Do you guys think I am unsecured? Do I really love her? Is there any hope in our relationship? I want to marry her someday, will I secure the marriage? Will that day ever come? Am i maybe a little bit too crazy about her... Some body please help me, maybe I am UNSECURED!!! Am I? Do I need therapy? You tell me...

5 Comments

sthini
04 Feb 2010 16:59

Wow....wish there were paragraphs, but decided to read it anyway....

first u now its insecure/insecurity (as i can see by your title)but kept saying UNSECURED!

Anyway Thato, insecurity breaks relationships, as it is a paranoia, and can lead to obsession and possesiveness(my theory)... give each other space and time...taht way u never loose yourself and become dependant on your partner... the way you put it, seem like the way u love this girl, u can be a danger to yourself....

Squeeza
04 Feb 2010 17:39

You have to deal with your insecurity first before you think of marrying her. You are in self doubt and you need to value yourself more. This could have been caused by your past infidelities as you said you never engaged in one relationship at a time but always had multiple partners. Build up your self confidence and learn to trust.

honey147
04 Feb 2010 18:03

sorry tobe hush...but i think what went around is coming around on you
I mean you used to be her ..with more than one woman at a time...now you know how it feels..

but on the real though..speak to her and tell her how you feel..
u might find the answers you are looking for ....

GML
05 Feb 2010 07:53

I think you're finally in love and you are just worried hore that is not how it's supposed to feel like.

It feels like you have a hole in your stomach that no one else can fill, it feels like if that person could dump you, you would instantly break into a million pieces.

It feels like you could just take her and squeeze her into your heart so that she can always be there, so that she can see how much you love her. The way she smells is incredible, the way she says your name makes it sound different. The way she smiles makes you just want to kiss her all over. AM I RIGHT THATO?

IF I'M RIGHT THEN IT'S SAFE TO SAY YOU'RE IN LOVE

If you guys have a great time then focus on that. She probably misses you too (just as much) when you're apart but doesnt want to show because just like you is scared that you may take advantage of that.
Trust in what you have and unless she gives you reason not to trust her. Just dont go screaming it to the world just yet- you're still blinded by love.

You're in love Thato.

THATO_ AT AGE 23 I BELIEVE YOU HAVE A CERTAIN LEVEL OF MATURITY AND PROBABLY HAVE A JOB BY NOW. REFERRING TO YOURSELF AS A BOY IS NOT ON> The lady in your life would not appreciate knowing hore she is dating a BOY

u4me
05 Feb 2010 10:40

u are obssesed and insecure, u need help asap. Ope up, communicate more with her about ur fears otherwise is gonna be like a time bomb......sooner or later it will explode

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