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Only Blacks / Abodakkie

Written by Amza from the blog It can be confusing... on 10 Jun 2009
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1. Are engaged for 5 years or more.

2. Never bother to divorce. They just separate for the rest of their lives.

3. Are late to church, work, and everything else, EXCEPT when the "club“ is free before 11:00 PM.

4. Refer to diabetes as "Sukiri".

5. Wait for movies to premier on SIMUNYE.
6. Drive slowly around town just looking for someone so they can say
"O ka re ke a goitse, ke go bone kae?"

7. Show up at weddings, showers, graduation, birthday parties, etc. with a new outfit on, with their nails and hair done, but don't bring a wedding present.

8. In relation to #7, they eat like dogs and take a DOGGIE BAG.

9. Consider "clubbing" as a monthly expense
Leave bills (instead of insurance) behind for surviving relatives.

11. Have at least one relative with a criminal record.

12. Will borrow money for a big wedding reception, then live in a flat with no furniture.

13. Have mothers who can use swear words and religion ALL IN ONE SENTENCE.
For example, "Ka Modimo ngwana yo o tlile go nyela fa a goroga!"

14 . Swear that the Chinese man selling carpets out of a van gives them the best deals!

15. Have at least one neighbour that "was almost a soccer star"

16. Spend the car insurance money on everything, EXCEPT getting the dent fixed.

17. Invite co-workers and all of their friends to their child's
christening party, which happens to have a professional DJ, alcohol but, only about 3 kids and 50 adults in attendance.

18. Have children who are great singers and dancers, but falling behindin school.

19. Will drive a Lexus, Merc, BMW or Jaguar AND live in a Servant
Quarter ko Block 7 or rent a house ko Mogoditshane or ARE STILL staying with their Mom.

20. Come over to your house at 8:00 in the morning to "borrow" a cup of sugar.

21. Will pull up in the church car park blasting out Vee on their stereo.
22. Will display the labels in designer suits to wear to a class reunion and try to return it the next day after spilling beer on it, only to tell the sales person it didn't fit.
23. Will have on a new outfit every time you see them, but when you ask them for the money they owe you they always say, "Don't have it.“
24. Play R100 worth of lottery numbers a week but won't invest in the stock & shares. (It's tooooo risky!!) Yeah

Don't feel offended i'm also a black person.
LIFE MUST CONTINUE NO MATTER WHAT

52 Comments

Amza
10 Jun 2009 16:32

Hahahahahaha.....I m still trying to get up only read 3 lines by the way. let me finish....

Cande
10 Jun 2009 16:42

LMAO, most things here are true

Sobza
10 Jun 2009 16:42

So you don't do any of the things you have mentioned above?

LM
10 Jun 2009 16:58

ooooohhh, I Loooove it!!!! Nice one!!

Come over to your house at 8:00 in the morning to "borrow" a cup of sugar. I got tempted to do this this past sunday but hey ka fasa di-brakes, had to wait for spar to open at 8:30!!!!!

HARAMBE24
10 Jun 2009 17:16

17. Invite co-workers and all of their friends to their child's
christening party, which happens to have a professional DJ, alcohol but, only about 3 kids and 50 adults in attendance. ...classic

Kakapana
10 Jun 2009 17:39

LMFAOROTF this is kak funny...let me continue...

Kakapana
10 Jun 2009 17:40

i looooooooove TVSA, i'm going to copy this and send it to all the black peeps...hope you dont mind black and love it

Kakapana
10 Jun 2009 17:46

number 3, 5, 7 and 15 are classics...

Brown Shuga
10 Jun 2009 17:55

Hahahahahahahahaha so so true! Ka morena this is kak funny! *wonders if 1&O would agree.

faraimagic
10 Jun 2009 18:10

haaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha hahah ah ah ahahahaahaha!

Beyonce
10 Jun 2009 18:42

LMAO!!!! 1 and Only where art thou?

nokubonga
10 Jun 2009 18:53

So....true. Go buy" some of my best friends are whites"By Ndumiso Ngcobo. You will have a blast reading .

Will have on a new outfit every time you see them, but when you ask them for the money they owe you they always say, "Don't have it." or I ain't got it Joe"

mathata
10 Jun 2009 19:02

copy.

Kakapana
10 Jun 2009 19:20

@ nokubonga,ive heard so much about that book,and as broke as i will be at the end of the month,i will certainly get myself a copy.

Heartsbreaker
10 Jun 2009 19:24

<<<7. Show up at weddings, showers, graduation, birthday parties, etc. with a new outfit on, with their nails and hair done, but don't bring a wedding present. >>>> True, Lmao

<<Refer to diabetes as "Sukiri". >>> Hahahahahahahah

nokubonga
10 Jun 2009 19:28

Oh yes...its a good read. Hope you will enjoy it.

GodsArt
10 Jun 2009 19:34

Will have on a new outfit every time you see them, but when you ask them for the money they owe you they always say, "Don't have it.“

Or else bathi "Andiyilibelanga lanto" before you even ask them

Come over to your house at 8:00 in the morning to "borrow" a cup of sugar.

So true...there is this gogo who is a friend to my mother, daily yena ucela i teabag....for heaven's sake a teabag costs 50c....but no my mother has to supply. Last month I bought two brands....Joko and Teaspoon tips. The teaspoon tips was the cheapest....I told them bamnikeze yona everytime ezokucela i teabag....uze nje kanye and I hear she bought herself i Five Roses.

LM
10 Jun 2009 19:42

Yeah that book is kak funny. Im currently reading his 2nd one and i only managed a chuckle here n there, im not CTFU!!

Foxxy
10 Jun 2009 19:56

Ha ha ha. This is so funny.... Am guilty of no 9 and 24.

LMAO at GA's teabag gogo. Shame on you giving her cheap tea...

mjj
10 Jun 2009 20:00

does this mean if you do ANY of these you r certainly black? or f you do majority you are black? ANyway, I'll come back...there r few, very few of these that are applicable to me...............

Firstdvd
10 Jun 2009 20:42

Abodakkie lol *like this title* lemme read now >>>>>>>

mjj
10 Jun 2009 20:48

those applicable to me r:

4, 11, 13 (not my mother, but someone in the family) and 15................

belz
10 Jun 2009 21:04

Only blacks would buy or hire a killer outfit to go to a funeral.

Firstdvd
10 Jun 2009 21:12

*ONLY blacks???*

belz
10 Jun 2009 21:15

yes, whites dont bother nje ngalezizinto.

mjj
10 Jun 2009 21:16

no belz.......some white people do that as well

GodsArt
10 Jun 2009 21:19

Abodakkie would carry i atcha and salt to amafuneral service...

Firstdvd
10 Jun 2009 21:22

Exactly mjj...black or white almost the same...Its just dat thina si worse

mjj
10 Jun 2009 21:30

Abodakkie would carry i atcha and salt to amafuneral service...funerals is nothing.......i know some people that carry it when they travel overseas........

Cande
10 Jun 2009 21:41

Im guilty of most of the things here

Firstdvd
10 Jun 2009 23:01

*stats 445 online* how accurate?

Kakapana
10 Jun 2009 23:17

@godsart,lol at ugogo we teabag..shuthi all along she could afford ukuzithengela,justdat she wanted freebes.. mara i miss that about the townships, where u could go to your neighbour at any time of the day and ask her for anything

Lady D
10 Jun 2009 23:33

this email has been circulating for ages!really now!!!

monchooza
11 Jun 2009 09:59

<<The teaspoon tips>>

LOL i dont remember the last time i heard/saw or drank this tea

monchooza
11 Jun 2009 10:04

last sunday after church me and a few people from church went to ematsidisweni of a fellow member yasenkonzweni and yoh....you should have seen us eating amakhekhe ngathi sisemshadweni siziphindaphinda forgeting shem ukuthi abantu benkosi ba shonelwe yaz...things abodarkie do

maud
11 Jun 2009 10:10

1. Are engaged for 5 years or more.
thats me eish lihlabe lephukela so true'''''
the rest not me

Strolicious
11 Jun 2009 10:12

eish Lady D ungoma uyayona....really now............Lol

Amza
11 Jun 2009 10:14

Haikhona...how accurate can this be..I can relate to almost all of these

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 10:17

I have seen this a million times on emails, but neway LOL at the comments.

TerryN
11 Jun 2009 10:22

Will drive a Lexus, Merc, BMW or Jaguar AND ARE STILL staying with their Mom.

LMAO...

The title of this blog shood be ... "You know you're black when..."

odie
11 Jun 2009 10:32

Mogoditshane , Vee , Block 7 - Botswana for sure mister

i know i am black when i scream at the loud of my voice - stop before the circle (knowing that if i say roundabout the driver will not stop)

Nonny
11 Jun 2009 10:38

Only blacks would rather pay their money in a funeral stokvel or ebumthweni than joining an insurance that will give them their money with interest.
kwa kwa kwa that is so so true!

odie
11 Jun 2009 10:41

Artcha and salt to funerals???????? first time having knowledge of this....

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 11:06

Blacks Abodakkie will page through the obituaries section kwiSowetan newspaper to check where closest to them are. If the funeral is at 7 am then that's breakfast....11am- lunch....and then 1pm- dinner.

Sobza
11 Jun 2009 11:08

where closest to them - funerals closest to them are

zozoe
11 Jun 2009 11:16

<<Abodakkie would carry i atcha and salt to amafuneral service>>>...LMAO haai bathong is it true tjo kwakwakwa kwakw a this is killin me hahahahahhahah lol even overseas oh ho hoho tl tl tjo le ya mpolaya

sorry for this Today is Ma befday happie

Cody
11 Jun 2009 11:19

LMAO! i got this in an email last year! this is kak funny!

JadaPinkett
11 Jun 2009 11:29

Nice email which is very true...............I also got Cody it

Ms. Jay
11 Jun 2009 11:36

still makes a good laugh................kwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

Zazacious
11 Jun 2009 11:38

well I guess we can be excused with the diabetes thing cause it does mean that the persons blood is sweet. In fact (Useless info use dont use it) back in the day, Doctors used to taste patients urine for the sweetness. lol

tracy
11 Jun 2009 11:38

1 2 & 7 are soo true

Kakapana
11 Jun 2009 14:24

Doctors used to taste patients urine for the sweetness. lol

lol @ this ...

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