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Do you believe in signs? When something happens do youtake it as a sign- warning or something else???

Written by GML from the blog Is it me??? on 20 Jan 2009
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Please note that in this article comments that are not related to this article will be deleted.


Last night I found myself in a predicament that I could not begin to understand. I am engaged and my man and I were talking about the lobola negotiations which are due to start in February. I so happened to ask my man what he thought about the whole thing and how much he was prepared to pay(mahadi)

He answered this wuestion by simply and rudely saying " I have told you what I can afford and that's what I'm gonna pay". I completely Understand where he is coming from. He cannot "spend" above his means. But then, this leaves me at a point where I am confused by the tone of his voice and what he is saying.

The conversation escalated to a point where other things came up which resulted in us not talking at all this morning.

The Story.....
When i started working I found myself coming home at 8 at night and leavign at 5 every morning. this resulted in my loss of appetite and as a result I lost weight. I sat my folks down (who were extremely worried about me) to explain to them that I cannot do this anymore,  had to move out. But starting from scratch looking for a place was gonna take me at least 2months (I would've been dead by then), so I asked my parents if I could move n with my bf at the time. He lives 15 minutes from my work and he works 10 minutes from my work. This situation was ideal. To my surprise my folks agreed to this as they knew that I would be in safe hands and I would start gaining weight again. I had already spoken to my man about this so he was on board.

I moved in with him in Feb 2008. Everything was fine until we came across a beautiful house that was being sold at a bargain, he wanted to buy the house and I was thrilled. He then asked to me buy the house with him because we were gonna get married anyway so we might as well (bare n mind he had not proposed at the time). I agreed and we set things in motion.

I was so excited about my new house I told my parents who were thrilled but had reservations because I was not married and he had not paid lobola for me. One day in June my Mom calls us to discuss what our plans sre seeing that we're buying a house together. The lecture came on and I could feel myself tense up at the thought of the conversation about life with my mom.

Needless to say that I (with my boyfriend present) told my mom that not all things happen the way we plan for them to happen so It just so happened that we bought the house first. My bf reassured mu mom that he would do right by me and the family ( I hated the fact that I was trying to blow out a fire and he was putting petrol on it). He was simply suggesting to my mom that he will marry- that's how my mom took it.

To my and my mom's surprise the man proposes the next day. I was so emotional. My mom hints about marriage and all of a sudden he proposes. Of course I say no to him because I thought he felt pressurised by my mother. He assured me that this was not the case as he was planning to propose a long time ago but me and my mom jumped the gun. He called my mom to tell her that he proposed to me and I wont say yes. My mom was also suspicious and asked him if he was sure and he said yes. I then agreed to marry him after endless reassuring.

From June to know he has said nothing about sending his uncles to my parents or anything like that. He talks about the wedding but I suspect he is doing it to shut me up or something.

Back to the fight........

I told him that my parents are excited about the wedding and that they cannot wait for the big day. So i ask him " Baby we are forever talking about the big day and we're getting quotations for venues etc but the 1st step hasnt been completed yet, when do you think it will happen coz my parents are asking me about it".  I feel that as a women one should know where she stands otherwise whats the point? I have said nothing about lobola since the time he proposed.

He told me that I want things to happen at my pace why can I not just chill and take his word when he says he will make things happen. I fully understand this but my problem is he called my mom and made the announcement, know they want to follow up and he is saying nothing about it. He even accused me of doubting him

My questions are
1. Was I wrong for asking hima about the first step being lobola?
2. Am I pushing for things to happen at my pace 6months after the event?
3. Am I wrong for doubting him if every time I ask a question he say I'm pressurising him or I'm focused on the wedding and nothing else?

262 Comments

GML
20 Jan 2009 12:14

Okay lets hear it. I have been going out of mind with worry. I am even considering calling my mom and telling her the engagement is off.

nice
20 Jan 2009 17:38

Gal I am no wiser on relationships but here's my R200's worth.

It is only fair that you asked him so you know where you stand with him. It does not make sense that he can propose and not pay the lobola. In our culture an engagement is quickly followed by lobola so his family can "officially" bring the engagement ring to your house.

You have been living with him for some time now, and I think your doubts are caused by something that you may have noticed in his behaviour and you would be wrong to ignore your gutfeel.

But then again, wait for February............next two weeks and see if he will do something, but for your sake I hope it wont just be due to "pressure" because of the time limit he has set for himself.

Cande
20 Jan 2009 17:49

I am even considering calling my mom and telling her the engagement is off.

dont make rush decicions gal..
I cant advice further on the matter

Lady D
20 Jan 2009 17:54

take your time gal......

Firstdvd
21 Jan 2009 06:40

GML ~ 'Why your man is being like this towards you?'...I have this feeling: You (GML) spending too much time focusing on that big day. Do you remind him how much you love him? Do you spend 48hrs not talking about lobolo negotiation?

Best-Achiever
21 Jan 2009 07:32

In our culture an engagement is quickly followed by lobola so his family can "officially" bring the engagement ring to your house. 

tl tl tl tl .... no wonder my uncle went nuts when he saw my engagement ring.

GML
What i have sensed here is: i dont real believe that it was out of his will for him to propose, like you said i think he felt pressured and did it.

 
1. Was I wrong for asking hima about the first step being lobola? 
No, you were not wrong, infact when he pop out the question he should have told you when does he want  you to get married or atleast when is he paying lobola ...you cant be angaged forever mos

2. Am I pushing for things to happen at my pace 6months after the event? 
In most cases, they do it like that, you get angaged and six months after that it is the wedding but that's if the engagement occured after lobola (which in often cases it is the way it should be)

3. Am I wrong for doubting him if every time I ask a question he say I'm pressurising him or I'm focused on the wedding and nothing else? 

Listen to your gut feelings

realist
21 Jan 2009 07:32

You are stressing too much about getting the contract. Focus more on what is called love and everything will come into place. While still at it, do not forget about Tshepiso advice on the opposite sex article. It does help to keep your man not to stray.

Dimago
21 Jan 2009 09:19

Please note that in this article comments that are not related to this article will be deleted.
Rather send them to the TVSA Rulz G

GML, your concerns are valid, and you have a right to know. If you are going for the long haul with this man, you need to get the communication right and asking questions when you are not sure, is the way to do it. So don't doubt yourself, and don't ignore your sixth sense.

Ms. Jay
21 Jan 2009 09:36

Guys have a way of dealing with things in ways we dont understand - give him the 2 weeks and don pressure him anymore, it will only make you more frustrated and he may start to think you are desperate and a nag..be patient 2 weeks is nearby

Nonny
21 Jan 2009 09:37

I think u're putting too much preaure on your boyfriend and the whole concept of marriage and ur mom also needs to take a chill pill. The proposal after the talk with ur mom, doesn't sound like something the guy was gonna do anyway, it seems to me tha the was cornered. Take it easy and u will soon realise that as much as it's important to have diresction and stability, love and happiness is what matters most.

maud
21 Jan 2009 09:57

@GML- I have been dating my boyfriend for four years now, not even once did he mention the word  marriage to me, it did not bother me at such as i am a very independend woman who likes to do thinks her on way. and recently i have been going out to parties ,seeing friends and i think he felt like he was going to loose me , you know what , he proposed, he said he waited this long to make sure that he has enough money to take care of me as he has notice that so far i have everything that i need and he knows that he could not have affordet me then.

as i am writing this his family is on his way to see my uncle in Eastern Cape.
dont put presure on your boyfriend just love him make him feel special, trust me he will never want to loose you.

Cody
21 Jan 2009 10:04

chill pill ??  LOL

IQ
21 Jan 2009 10:05

U knw neh! nna i'm tired of this thing ya hore give him a chance, he's is a guy, they think differently.....se voet man!

I say trust your gut feeling, I mean u wudn't hv been asking all these question if he was transparent about the whole issue. tl!

U nd 2 knw if he wants to be in this or not, so that u can move on!

IQ
21 Jan 2009 10:09

@Cody - Hi girl! so, whatz so funny?

Dimago
21 Jan 2009 10:19

U knw neh! nna i'm tired of this thing ya hore give him a chance, he's is a guy, they think differently.....se voet man!
LOL IQ...i agree!!!

I say trust your gut feeling, I mean u wudn't hv been asking all these question if he was transparent about the whole issue. tl!
Too true!!!

Cody
21 Jan 2009 10:33

he he he!  IQ you and me both.

but it doesnt make sense that he proposed 6 months ago without the intesion of paying lobola first, maybe he feels pressured to marry you now that you are leaving together, he said that he planned to be engaged to you for sometime, surely he should have thought of reserving money for the lobola, i know my parents would question his intensions as well.

but hey what can i say, just ask Nonny for some chill pill, and wait because at the end of the day it wont feel good if he does it for the sake of getting you & your parents off his back. Dont take drastic decisions of ending the engagement thou, you will be the one crying, i have noticed that guys dont really care sometimes.

1. Was I wrong for asking hima about the first step being lobola? 
No gal you were not wrong. You had every right as he is the one who asked u to marry him, it was not the other way round.
2. Am I pushing for things to happen at my pace 6months after the event? 
In my opinion you are not pushing, but dont bring it up every single day. Nna i tell a man twice that is it, if he still doesnt respond to my request it means that he doesnt care enough to see it throu or he is not ready, he will then decide in his own time whether to respond or not. it's up to him but i would have made my feelings clear to him. E tla ja yena.
3. Am I wrong for doubting him if every time I ask a question he say I'm 
pressurising him or I'm focused on the wedding and nothing else? 

You are not wrong, but at least he made his feelings clear that he doest need the pressure. so lay off a bit. like i said when you are quite it will nag him, you dont even need to say a word.

Cody
21 Jan 2009 10:36

@Cody - Hi girl! so, whatz so funny?

he he he!!!!! (laughing like Azwindini) wantella jwale!!! you know these new bees.nxa!

TheLady
21 Jan 2009 10:55

GML-you know it, you feel it-we cannot tell you about your man, you stay with the guy you know him better. If he procrastinates  with everything, then this is no different. If he easily sways once he has spoken with your mom-what could be different ngale situation?

Trust YOUR gut feel.
BTW was it you or GoldenSta who was suppose to be lobola'd in December?

IQ
21 Jan 2009 10:56

@Cody - Yah....yah.....

u4me
21 Jan 2009 11:09

Let him be my sister, unless if you want to add on the stats of premature marriages break-ups. Marriage must be a mutual agreement between two lovebirds, but you dont seem to be compatible and that is a huge concern. 

My advice, talk honestly your feelings, fears and anticipation together and resolve whether you go ahead or quit. 

tracy
21 Jan 2009 11:45

I feel what you are are going thru becoz I know it from expirience and what I can tell you is that we all have that inner ivoice that tells us when something is wrong ask yoself why are you doubting him now.
maybe its that he is not financially ready only you know if its the money then give him a break but if not I dont see any wrong doing on you part.

Lessie
21 Jan 2009 12:04

Listen to your inner voice........... you know him better!!!!
Don't do it for de wrong reasons. If it it feels right, then DO IT

GML
21 Jan 2009 13:08

Thank you guys for the advice.

I know that he has the money coz I live with him. He had an account opened for the lobola. I hardly ever speak to him about the wedding adn when I do it's only because we were watching TV and a wedding came up or something like that.
I even told him a long time ago that I would not talk about the wedding unless he brings it up.

So my gut tells me to just let things be. I will not say anything anymore and will stop him from contacting my mom.

My mon is not the problem. She gets the pressure form my dad.

GML
21 Jan 2009 13:09

Thank you guys for the advice.

I know that he has the money coz I live with him. He had an account opened for the lobola. I hardly ever speak to him about the wedding adn when I do it's only because we were watching TV and a wedding came up or something like that.
I even told him a long time ago that I would not talk about the wedding unless he brings it up.

So my gut tells me to just let things be. I will not say anything anymore and will stop him from contacting my mom.

My mom is not the problem. She gets the pressure form my dad.

Serenity
21 Jan 2009 13:25

Do you believe in signs? When something happens do youtake it as a sign- warning or something else??? 

Oooh yes I do! I take signs very seriously...im a Panic Mechanic.

mabhebheza
21 Jan 2009 14:11

GML sana 2b blunt but thats my opinion 
It sounds as if u brotheren uyakuqatha mayelana ne marriage if he wanted 2marry u he cud have done along time ago without being abantu intervining ( mom) ..u guys have a joint bond neh ?? *sigh*

Uphi Andi101 coz she was goin 2giv u a straight 2the point answer kodwa nawe GML 4mere fact that u doubting his commitment icacile sana ukuba sumthing punchin water

myname
21 Jan 2009 14:26

Shame man let me read the replies then maybe maybe i will add my 2cent if ndiyakhona

GML
21 Jan 2009 14:42

I honestly dont think that I'm forcing the issue in any way. After we moved into our house he took me to the wedding Expo. It was a surprise. He was so excited and kept telling me I'm gonna love the surprise. I had not said anything about the wedding until he took me to the Expo.

So was he also forced to do that? I have never doubted him until he started dogging my questions (which were only asked once in a while)

WhiteSockGirl
21 Jan 2009 14:52

I read the article and I came back here a couple of times,... 

Difficult one,... cause me, I over-analyze the slightest little thing.  No surprise I mess up relationships and am single.  And the men, I don't understand them,... I don't even try.

But I would have trusted my gutt,...

Good luck girl, I do hope you guys sort it out.

what aka mathata
21 Jan 2009 14:54

tjo nna, me,ke nale Badimo,moya,with english they say psychic ability,

sometimes i do help,sometimes i shut up,but later i feel guilty,i do it my way.

meaning i dont want chicken,fish,goad bracelet on my hand,no way...

LM
21 Jan 2009 14:59

meaning i dont want chicken,fish,goad bracelet on my hand,no way...kwa  kwa kwa kwa kwa.... CTFU!

maddie
21 Jan 2009 15:36

he took you to the wedding expo because you just bought a beautiful house together, a house that would not have been possible if you didn't have a joint income.

you have been staying together for some time and maybe he's realizing that you're not his miss dreamy.

he's scared to break it off because he promised ur mom (parents), you bought a house together and each time you bring the wedding issue he obviously get irritated.

a man who wants to be with you for the rest of your life will not be angry at you for talking about umshato.

you are in a sticky situation gal, because I can assure you now he's not going to be honest with you if you ask him this.

my advice: cool it for now and see what happens, don't bring the issue of umshato, well I don't how you're going to explain that to ur parents but try to tell them that you are just taking your time and not in a hurry, umshato is a big commitment.

if it doesn't work out, well it's not the end of the world, I don't know about the house though, i hope u have a tight ass contract in place.

it's normal for people to realize they're not meant for each other after a while in a relationship, that does not mean they're bad people

myname
21 Jan 2009 15:45

Im so useless when it comes to relationship but girl here is my 2cent as i promised.... My intuitions are sometimes right & i sometimes ignore them and thats where i get hurt. I also agree with those bloggers who says you should take a chill & watch. Give him time but ask when you see/feel something is not right. The way he answered its like or it sounded as if he wanted to say more like ....this is not what I wanted; you & your mother were a pain in my ass blah blah blah..... Darling, we can try to run but communication is still the best tool to any relationship. And you are supposed to be happy telling each other those; You are the best thing in my world, Baby Im so proud to call you my woman/man, I will be by your side always & forever blah blah . You know what I mean! You both should be feeling so special, precious, wonderful, and comfortable and loved not putting each other on voicemail common!!!! This is the big decision 4 both of u & you are both scared. Comfort each other & le ratane bathong. In the name of LOVE Myname

myname
21 Jan 2009 15:50

Eish i 4get to say Halala 2 u Maud oka Mud. Congra sana!!! & G good luck babes...

myname
21 Jan 2009 15:53

maddie usisikhokho.....

maud
21 Jan 2009 15:55

@ myname - ndiyabulela, Qha i still have loose ends to cut.

what aka mathata
21 Jan 2009 16:01

they say you will never know the person untill  you sleep with them.

if the dude is putting the money on account for lobola,which account?his .....?

he must put it  on your account ,so that if he changes his mind ,he can go like that,i mean good by.

Cody
21 Jan 2009 16:05

Painfull indeed Maddie, but there is an element of truth in what you are saying thou. more especially because GML intiated the moving in. so ya.....sad hey!

Tshd21
21 Jan 2009 16:10

I don't agree gore you should take a chill pill.... 
Sit him down and ask one last time. Before you start, explain the basis of your questions and that they are not meant to put him under prssure.
Because at the end of the day, some things need to be said...

TheLady
21 Jan 2009 16:14

LMAO Mathata-hehehe
Maddie-can you be my best friend? I need someone who speaks their mind (nothing wrong about my girls-but you say what people wouldn't wanna say)

Cody
21 Jan 2009 16:14

GML i just re-read your article, you said that the lobola is due in Feb? so why r u stressing? wait for Feb gal. has his parents even sent a letter to your house?Phela FEB is just around the coner.

Nonny
21 Jan 2009 16:18

WOW, some good solid advice maddie as always. Thanks hey.

what aka mathata
21 Jan 2009 16:31

i love maddie too,maddie"s company can motivate you a lot.

Vida
21 Jan 2009 16:32

"I feel that as a women one should know where she stands"

If it is what you feel then it is 100%  within your rights to aks him what his intentions are. I am a Zulu girl(dont know what you are) and im my opion you are right! iLobola is the first step(the engagment),so traditionally you are technically just living together!! And if you want more from him you have every right to ask!! Its your relationship too!

Good luck

Dimago
21 Jan 2009 16:36

LOL mathata....u r my shero!!!!!

Oh, maddie.......thats why i'm not keen on living together before marriage....

I think u must talk GML, its your future u are talking about here..if he's changed his mind you have the right to know...NOW!!!

Cody
21 Jan 2009 16:40

LOL Dimago!!!!!!!

poshspice
21 Jan 2009 16:40

Difficult one,... cause me, I over-analyze the slightest little thing. No surprise I mess up relationships and am single. And the men, I don't understand them,... I don't even try.

But I would have trusted my gutt,...

Good luck girl, I do hope you guys sort it out

that's me WSG, it's a scorpio thing, over-analysing,I am trying to loosen-up, trying!!! 
good luck GML, just be patient you will get the answers you are looking for in time within you and be able to make a right decision.... 

sponono
21 Jan 2009 16:44

IMO the buyin a  house together  thing ws a bit premature  not well thought....firstly as a guy i know we get jitters that even see us running away and not to the altar..so his calling your mother was well intentioned even his proposal..but the fact yokuthi niihleli ndawonye paying a bond  or paying sumthing towards the house...is a bit of a comfort zone for a guy and in most cases guys take their own sweet time especialy once they've assured the worried mother that no I wil do right by your daughter...but as to when only -God knows- so NO you're NOt being pushy  becoz you just might end up waiting for eternity...especially jugding from his annoyed tone..I'm not sayin he wont marry you  BUt if you dont let him know about your fears and instead you stop talking  whenever you raise this issue  you wont know if he's having jitters about getting married or he's really NOT into it and is just enjoying being a husband in waiting..so talk to the guy ..sometime WE as guys HAVE to GET ULTIMATUMS -being little boys that we are....TO GET OUR ACT together...and if the issue is financial at leat you'll know that s the problem...the worse is thathe'll tell you if he's NOT really into marriage  at least you'll look elsewhere...sikhona kadaar  jus hola ---DONT WAIT TOO LONG  coz you aint gettin any younger and that bond is getting paid and whoever is benefiting will want to continue having this double payment longer than necessary even if the wedding is not goin to happen..the sooner you do this the better  and dont do it for your MOm its about your life and your future...and as a guy If I TRULY want to spend the rest of my life with you I will be UPFRONT about it  I wont LIE...

Nonny
21 Jan 2009 16:49

"BUt if you dont let him know about your fears and instead you stop talking whenever you raise this issue you wont know if he's having jitters about getting married or he's really NOT into it and is just enjoying being a husband in waiting.................."

"and as a guy If I TRULY want to spend the rest of my life with you I will be UPFRONT about it I wont LIE..."
Amen Sponza, kodwa nawe uvuke kumaphi amathuna, u've been missed man.

Cody
21 Jan 2009 16:53

im speechless sponono! but coming from a guy. i know it's true. eish moving in together before any solid commitment is a real mood killer waitse! ya as they say, satan gets into relationships like that (kipiting) very easy because they are not yet blessed & God cannot do anything about it because he doesnt recognise such a union. His word and ring are just that! nothing more nothing less. i feel your pain GML. but prayer and acknowledgement of your mistake to God will make the difference. Pray about it babes, everything will be alright.

poshspice
21 Jan 2009 16:58

MADDIE-I like your input.. it does make  a lot of sense

what aka mathata
21 Jan 2009 17:01

i smell DR MAGEU,somthing isno gooooodo.

my husband proposed me after 4mns  we met,october it will be our six yrs ann,

i told him ,if he want to F* me only its ok,BUT  ivgot the right to go,but he musnt forget his got kid n sisters bcs someone can do the same to them.nyau!!
 

Nonny
21 Jan 2009 17:05

i told him ,if he want to F* me only its ok,BUT ivgot the right to go,but he musnt forget his got kid n sisters bcs someone can do the same to them.nyau!!
hahhahaha holla Mathatha, straight talk all the way.

what aka mathata
21 Jan 2009 17:11

gudala si hliwa skoloto.

Cande
21 Jan 2009 17:41

Mathata after 4 minutes ausi???? hehehheheh how does ur husband cope ka wena maara?? and i remember the other day we were speaking on the phone u had just left the baby to cry herself to sleep..Im going to report you to your husband

Cnglemother
21 Jan 2009 18:08

Eish ijoint bond neBF ngamasimba grand-grand any joint buying mara ne BF.impintshi yam is still paying 4 a loan she took for a deposit on a flat she no longer stays in coz she broke the engagement.she went back to ku2room namavaskom weoldlady lakhe .cody u r putting me off imakhipitana i was considering close to winter.GML lets wait 4 feb b4 u work yoself up over nothing. Maddie u made a lot of sense love.

Cnglemother
21 Jan 2009 18:17

Lol@Cande,she meant 4mnths maan!

what aka mathata
21 Jan 2009 20:09

@cande wa phapa wena.

How my husband cope?i have 88% respect for anyone ,im a cheap b*,i dont like high fashion things,i dont like *****i just count our blessing,im happy for what we have.

everyday is a normal day for me,i dont even recall us celebrating anything,i cook decent meal.

about the baby,do you know gore ne ke itshwere setswetse.i dont make my husband position n make it  mayne.bling bling,cars,high fashion NO.n he respect me for that.


BUT he knows very well at times i can talk some s**,if he f* with me he find s* on top of his head.

Foxxy
21 Jan 2009 21:48

You're already cooking for him, cleaning for him, screwing him and helping him own a home. Those that are married, what else do wives do?

Dimago
22 Jan 2009 09:41

ya as they say, satan gets into relationships like that (kipiting) very easy because they are not yet blessed & God cannot do anything about it because he doesnt recognise such a union. His word and ring are just that! nothing more nothing less.

Thanks for that Cods...its so true!!!!

GML
22 Jan 2009 10:10

Oaky guys, I feel the need to explain something.

We had been talking about marriage way before i moved in with him. He had said the September 2008, he will send his uncles over. The house happened because he was looking for a house. A beautiful house that was selling at a bargain came our way and he asked me to buy it with him seeing that we had talked about Sept 2008.

I moved in with him because he suggested it and I was reluctant because I thought my folks would say no. But I did and they agreed.

My point is all these things came from him and I never in any way suggested anything. In fact I asked him when he proposed what happened to his plans for Sept 2008? And he said because we were moving into our house in Sept 2008 we would have been too busy on the house to focus on other things.
hence the early proposal.

LAST NIGHT
Feeling so down and us not talking for the past 3 days, I found myself in another situation. I had promised him that I would never deny him sex. Last night was weird as usual with us not talking at all. He was not loking at me the same way anymore and i thought to myself I dont even turn him on anymore (after pulling my stunts on him). We went to bed quiet and then he starts touching me and I found myself thinking what does this mean. It happened and i said nothing to him about it. This morning his mood was much better adn he even smacked my ass again like he always does.

tracy
22 Jan 2009 10:16

Living together b4 marriage is a bad bad idea coz he doesnt feel the pressure anymore to pay lobola anymore, I did bengihlala ngikhala coz I felt like a wife did his laundry cooked, cleaned and everything wives do for their husbands and two years passed, he always said imali ayikahlangani but I knew it was a lie and he bought a car on top of that when ever his family needed money he had money available to help them but for my lobola ayihlangani.

Well after two years of ukuhlalisana, I  will be back with the story

realist
22 Jan 2009 10:16

GML, Did you have to kiss and tell. No wonder men think that women can be diabolical at times.

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 10:19

Feeling so down and us not talking for the past 3 days, I found myself in another situation.
How do u live with someone in the same house and not communicate for 3 days??? hayi ngeke guys, this is not a healthy relationship. 

He was not loking at me the same way anymore and i thought to myself I dont even turn him on anymore (after pulling my stunts on him). We went to bed quiet and then he starts touching me and I found myself thinking what does this mean.
Ur man was tryna act all strong when u iniciated sex, and then when u go to bed, he realises he can't resist.

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 10:23

Well after two years of ukuhlalisana, I will be back with the story
Sizobe silindile ngabomvu.

GML
22 Jan 2009 10:29

Realist: Waht do you mean by kiss and tell????

I dont talk about my relationship with any1 not even my mother. She got involved when he decided to call he about the engagement.
No 1 knows about this situation except for bloggers. I had to talk about it with people that I knew would not be emotionally attached to the situation as my family. They love him to bits

Serenity
22 Jan 2009 10:30

Living together b4 marriage is a bad bad idea coz he doesnt feel the pressure anymore to pay lobola anymore, I did bengihlala ngikhala

@tracy
So sorry gal (ubuhlala ukhala).
Sumtimes he will pay half the lobola after that he will be too comfortable and relax to even think about moving forward with the lobola negotiations let alone marriage!! Vat-n Sit is bad news PERIOD.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 10:34

GML
you are either confusing me or contradicting yourself

in your article you wrote
But starting from scratch looking for a place was gonna take me at least 2months (I would've been dead by then), so I asked my parents if I could move n with my bf at the time. He lives 15 minutes from my work and he works 10 minutes from my work. This situation was ideal. To my surprise my folks agreed to this as they knew that I would be in safe hands and I would start gaining weight again. I had already spoken to my man about this so he was on board. 

and  now you are saying
"I moved in with him because he suggested it and I was reluctant because I thought my folks would say no. But I did and they agreed.
"

something doesnt add up my love.

In fact I asked him when he proposed what happened to his plans for Sept 2008? And he said because we were moving into our house in Sept 2008 we would have been too busy on the house to focus on other things.
hence the early proposal. 

If it was his first priority to marry you, my thinking says he could have done  that and you were both gonna buy a house in marriage.

about last night ... all i could say is sex is not the answer you and doesnt necessarily means that someone wanna spend the rest of his life with you and it is not gonna solve any of your problems at the end of the day, he still doesnt wanna talk about sending uncles.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 10:35

When i started working I found myself coming home at 8 at night and leavign at 5 every morning. this resulted in my loss of appetite and as a result I lost weight. I sat my folks down (who were extremely worried about me) to explain to them that I cannot do this anymore, had to move out. But starting from scratch looking for a place was gonna take me at least 2months (I would've been dead by then), so I asked my parents if I could move n with my bf at the time. He lives 15 minutes from my work and he works 10 minutes from my work. This situation was ideal. To my surprise my folks agreed to this as they knew that I would be in safe hands and I would start gaining weight again. I had already spoken to my man about this so he was on board. 

Okay GML, Number 1:  this paragraph and statements in bold suggest to me that you initiated the moving in part. So i guess you should have mentioned that you guys wanted to move in so this job came at the right time to use as an excuse of you moving in together. 

Number 2: i know you saw this as the right thing to do as you have been promised marriage, i dont blame you for being so naive, geez i dont know how many boyfriends told me that they were going to marry me but they didnt, guys know what to get from us ladies, they know if they mentioned the word marriage we loose ourselves in them, we basically go banana's. So my dear you should have waited for him to prove his words, you should know that talk is cheap gal!

However you look at it my love, you guys are kipiting because he didnt make it formal . The fact that your dad is worried and obviously hurt that this guy has taken his daughter mahala will ruin things for you. We are so quick to make our boyfriends happy than our own parents. believe me gal i learned the hard way, if you dont respect your parents, more esp with relationships nothing will will go well for you two. Your boyfriend paying mahadi shows respect to your parents. so if he loves you he should SHOW RESPECT before your dad looses his cool.

IM not done i'll be back.

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 10:35

Vat-n Sit is bad news PERIOD.
True! One guy even said, if I marry my gal now, what will be the difference coz technically we are married coz we do what husbands and wives do and we also live together.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 10:36

us not talking for the past 3 days

3 days not talking to someone you are even sharing a bed with ....i cant imagine

maud
22 Jan 2009 10:37

i still think , you shouldnt stay with him until he finish paying lobola, and i mean not half of lobola until nihlabisa abakhwenyana, nizomane nivakashelana and wenze sure ukuthi most of the time is when your robots are red. please dont play house wife, no cooking no doing of washing unezandla zakhe.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 10:40

BA i swear i didnt see your reply.So i guess everyone is confused

smacked my ass again like he always does.

You made me laugh here gal. kwa kwa kwa!!!!! you shouldnt let that guy smack your ass without Mahadi!! damn gal,i know horniness can make you mad but nee maan, you should have given him your cake after him adressing your concerns.!!!

tracy
22 Jan 2009 10:40

I decided to leave infact I didnt decided to leave he insulted me in a way I knew I would never 4give him, we had a fight and I was crying I said to him I m tired of this relationship  coz I m giving and giving and getting nothing in return only false promises and I know I said those words coz I was hurting.
his reply was I quote" hamba tracy ubone ukuthi uzolandelwa wubani whats so special ngawe ukuthi nginga hlukana nawe ngeke ngiphile" 

I couldnt believe ma ears I was crying the whole night he didnt even care I slept on the sofa woke up in the morning packed my small overnight bag with ma swollen eyes and left, I couldnt carry all my clothes coz I didnt have a suitcase and I had stuff that I had bought like microwave,computer etc so I needed a car he looked at me when I went out and didnt say a word I knew from that moment that it was over that I didnt want him back even if he asked me.

He didnt phone me to ask where I was coz I couldnt pull ma self together to go to work so I went and stayed with ma aunt. he phoned a day after to ask where I was and he was blaming me saying "yinto obuyifuna leyo i only said go but I wasnt serious and you left which means awukho patient" 

At that moment I switched ma phone off coz I couldnt belive he was blaming me

Toodecent
22 Jan 2009 10:45

hamba tracy ubone ukuthi uzolandelwa wubani whats so special ngawe ukuthi nginga hlukana nawe ngeke ngiphile>>> Moerskond I hope you left him for good.

TheLady
22 Jan 2009 10:46

ah maud-the poor woman needs iservice too...The house ain' such a big deal-you can sell it..anyway you bought it ngebargain-you are highly likely to make a killing from the sale. Unless it's in his name.

If I were the guy I'd dodge umamezala and not get married..hello I get ikuku even if bengingakukhulumisi, I get a cooked meal noma bengikwatile. Am thinking maybe he is talking about Feb 2020.

cleve
22 Jan 2009 10:47

How do u live with someone in the same house and not communicate for 3 days??? hayi ngeke guys, this is not a healthy relationship. 

@ nonny, it happens when both people are stubborn and have pride. that's exactly me!!!!!!

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 10:48

"yinto obuyifuna leyo i only said go but I wasnt serious and you left which means awukho patient" 
Gosh thank goodness u left this man, I mean how creul of him.

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 10:50

Am thinking maybe he is talking about Feb 2020.
Sounds more like 20NEVER to me.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 10:50

hamba tracy ubone ukuthi uzolandelwa wubani whats so special ngawe ukuthi nginga hlukana nawe ngeke ngiphile"

tjo tracy..... kade kwasa nibona!!!!!

realist
22 Jan 2009 10:50

I refer to what you wrote on the 1/22/2009 at 4:10:00 PM. What I need to understand from you is this: Is getting the contract that really important or is the relationship that you have with your BF important, which is it?

Since no woman is born with a permanent surname, are you desperate to change the surname or you just wanted to prove a point to somebody?

Serenity
22 Jan 2009 10:51

his reply was I quote"hamba tracy ubone ukuthi uzolandelwa wubani whats so special ngawe ukuthi nginga hlukana nawe ngeke ngiphile" 

The bastard!

>>>>I couldnt carry all my clothes coz I didnt have a suitcase>>>

LOL...askies gal didnt mean to laff. What goes around...comes around!!

BigMama
22 Jan 2009 10:51

@tracy and cody.........why do yo have to do this, how long will you be gone, we will be waiting.

Cande
22 Jan 2009 10:52

ooh Tracy, thatz bad man..SHUU

Serenity
22 Jan 2009 10:53

tjo tracy..... kade kwasa nibona!!!!!

hahahahah  haai bo BA...have a heart!!

realist
22 Jan 2009 10:56

it happens when both people are stubborn and have pride. that's exactly me!!!!!! With my commander in chief it goes for at least seven days minimum and believe it we are still leaving together. To say happily that depends.


Dimago
22 Jan 2009 10:57

"hamba tracy ubone ukuthi uzolandelwa wubani whats so special ngawe ukuthi nginga hlukana nawe ngeke ngiphile"
Mkos' yam!!!! I'm sure you learnt your lesson ne tracy

So GML, what are you gonna do?

Vida
22 Jan 2009 10:59

Girl,
My heart goes out to you.

What you wrote today worries me though....anytime you have to make excuses for a man then something is up! You keep the promises you make to him  ("promised that I would never deny him sex") yet you are not holding him accountable for not keeping the promises he makes to you! And yet you want to marry him?? Marriage is a whole bunch of promises!! Are you sure hell keep those?? oooooh girl*sigh*.

Be Blessed.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 10:59

@ Big Mama: why do yo have to do this, how long will you be gone, we will be waiting.

What you say gal??

GML
22 Jan 2009 11:00

BestA: Yes, it sounds confusing. He only suggested it, I spoke to my folks after he suggested it and they agreed. I had made him aware that I was gonna talk to my folks about moving in with him and to check if he was still keen on the idea.

This whole situation is stressing and confusing. More confusing because most of the things that happend in the relationship were his idea. I tried not to say anything to avoid being accused of pressurising him. But It still happened either way.

See, If I were to tell you everything from the begining, you would all realise that  i's his chopping and changing that made this situation happen. May be half his family passing away last year is the cause of his confusion. He lost his grandma in Dec 2007, dad in Jan 2008 and his cuz in April 2008. So  my guess is he was trying to hide his pain by doing all these things and now it's 1year since his dad passed away and he maybe just realised that he never dealt with the loss.

tracy
22 Jan 2009 11:02

two cut the long story short a few years later I am married with a gold ring on my finger and believe it I didnt move in with my hubby till the wedding night I only visited him on weekends and a few days a week coz we stayed far from each other nomatter how much he begged me to stay with him I didnt give in coz I thought here comes the pain again even after lobola I told him I want to get married b4 I moved in. so we couldnt afford a white wedding then we went to a court and got married he bought me this beautiful ring and I bought his.

We still are going to have a white wedding in 2010 if all goes according to plan  the bottom line is I m married.

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 11:05

With my commander in chief it goes for at least seven days minimum and believe it we are still leaving together. To say happily that depends. 
OMG Realist u guys are stubborn for sure. Neway, the next time u guys don't talk for days, think of this, how will u feel if one of u guys were to pass away and u weren't even on speaking terms. Believe me, it doesn't matter how many happy memories u have, the last ones u shared will last in ur head the most.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 11:05

GML..... dont mean to be heartless but
i think you are making excuses for the guy and that will cost you a lot before you realise that you were in denial and covering up for him.


Vida you have a point there

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 11:07

We still are going to have a white wedding in 2010 if all goes according to plan the bottom line is I m married.
@ Tracy, well good for u gal.

Serenity
22 Jan 2009 11:07

@ tracy

Wow gal...talk about happy ending right there!!!

tracy
22 Jan 2009 11:08

@ Dimago - I did learn ma lesson infact I graduated

realist
22 Jan 2009 11:09

the bottom line is I m married. And you are happy that you got a contract. I did not hear you say you love him. I only heard you say that you got a contract. So typical.

GML
22 Jan 2009 11:10

Tracey: It's so sad what happened to you. Anyway i'm glad you got your life back on track.

Cande
22 Jan 2009 11:11

GML you ging to get more confused girl, hehehehe coz everyone here has a lot to say on the matter

GOOD LUCK with making the right decisions and you just need to pray to GOd to guide you

tracy
22 Jan 2009 11:11

and if he tries to divorce me I will take him to the cleaners ........lol.......

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:12

You are making me mad gal because you are making excuses for him!Kanthe did he take the lobola money from the bank to pay for the funerals??? akere you said he put money away in a separate bank account!!! He should rather pay your parents what he has now, even if it is R2500, just for respect sake, but make sure that he will pay the rest!!!  MOVE EFFIN OUT (in my best madia's voice) and find your own place!!! even if you have a joined bond, the bank doesnt take half from you and half from him mos, i am sure they take the money from him and you have to take care of groceries and staff!!!! 

I didnt want to alarm you, but now that i think you are making excuses from him is driving me crazy, a friend of my did the same stupid thing of buying a house with her man, but because there was no formal contract, and the money for the bond was taken from the boyfriend's account,  the court gave the house to them boyfriend and gave her the furniture. So who lost out. i know love is blind but listen to Maud!!!!!!!

makgotso
22 Jan 2009 11:17

@ Good for Tracy for leaving and look now you've got the reward for the desicion that you made.

GML: I hope you will find the answers you are looking for, all the best for February!!!

realist
22 Jan 2009 11:17

and if he tries to divorce me I will take him to the cleaners ........lol.......
Its not surprising, marriage like any contract is based on self interest. No one loves someone for Love's sake, but for self interest, gaining something of value from the partner. When that interest is absent the contract dies or if outside forces threatens, contract binds more.

tracy
22 Jan 2009 11:17

@realist - I love ma husband very much we are even trying to get pregnant and I plan on spending the rest of ma life with him he is the best I dont know maybe  I didnt say that becoz I wanted to get to the bottom line for GML'S SAKE but I will never be with a man for a contract, its ma life after all I also want to be happy am not that selfish. 

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:20

Okay hee, since you dont want to move out. Go to court and make an affidavit of your agreements regarding the property and furniture hee!

tracy
22 Jan 2009 11:21

and if he tries to divorce me I will take him to the cleaners ........lol....... 
and this was meant to be a joke incase you didnt notice you sound bitter what is your problem?

Cande
22 Jan 2009 11:21

Guys, dont judge GML  please

sponono
22 Jan 2009 11:21

the bottom line is I m married.....LOL

LOL girls are looking for  tHE BOTTOM LINE    and y'all do anything for the bottom line

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:23

Nna tracy, i understood you from the beggining i dont know what realist is on about, Are you kipiting as well realist??? I bet you are one of those people who think that a marriage certificate is just a paper!!!

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 11:24

Guys, dont judge GML please

cande we aint judging her, we are  giving her our honest opinion in the matter ...akere that's what she was looking for

realist
22 Jan 2009 11:25

and if he tries to divorce me I will take him to the cleaners ........lol.......
and this was meant to be a joke incase you didnt notice you sound bitter what is your problem?
Apology if it rubbed you the wrong way. I took your words literally. Bitter! Absolutely not.

Vida
22 Jan 2009 11:27

Guys, dont judge GML please -Cande I agree

GML maybe you guys should go to pre-marital counceling. You can get it for free at most churches.

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 11:27

LOL girls are looking for tHE BOTTOM LINE and y'all do anything for the bottom line
kwa kwa kwa Sponono, I am so happy I am one of those anti-marriage people. So I've got no bottom line....LOL

Mbalenthle
22 Jan 2009 11:27

I dont care that he may be feeling the pressure this is supposed to be your special time...and hes ruining it 10 years from now uma  ucabanga how your got engaged you will hace a knot at in your gut...i know theres enough drama during lobola neg im going thru it ryt now and you need your mans support............hes basicly bullshitting you

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:28

Cande I have been as naive as she is and i am not judging her she wanted advise akere? besides according to statistics 80% of kipiting relationships never end up in marriage.  Factor being the guys becoming comfortable, parents not being happy, and most importantly God not being the leader of the relationship.

realist
22 Jan 2009 11:29

I bet you are one of those people who think that a marriage certificate is just a paper!!!
What is it if it is not a piece of paper?

GML
22 Jan 2009 11:30

Cody: That is what i said to him. the whole point is for my parents to feel respected especially seeing that they agreed in the first place. I even told him that my folks gave me their word that the lobola money will be used for the wedding.

I have decided to wait for FEB. Please guys, Ask me end of FEB if anything happened.

If not I am moving in with my sister adn taking half the furniture with me. He initially wanted the house so he can keep it and I'll take the furniture.

Dimago
22 Jan 2009 11:31

Tracy, i'm glad you had a happy ending...GML, i hope you also get yours girl!

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:32

Since o le realist, go and do your research on the internet and church. you will see hore it is NOT a piece of paper. I wont do it for you, live up to your name my skat. you are making me a betjie doner!!!

BigMama
22 Jan 2009 11:34

hehehehe, hai, l enjoy reading your replies, some of you guys have been through a lot. all these things happen in the name of love and hey if you believe that you are in love you will never notice any bad signs in your relationship, you will always think that what happened was a mistake, think that your partner will change for the best. hehehe things we do for love, you can´t even notice when a guy is taking you for a fool, you just say no he adores me. relationships hmmmmm.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:34

GML, in the mean time pray ausi, wait for the end of Feb my skat. BTW did he send a letter already?

TheLady
22 Jan 2009 11:35

All the furniture girl!!! The house is worth more than the furniture-so why half the furniture coz he ain't keeping half the house

Anyway if it's Feb-you should know the exact date by now-so that you parents can prepare and call your uncles and whoever needs to be there...

tracy
22 Jan 2009 11:37

@GML - I told you ma story so that you realise that you are not the only one in this situation most pple are and they dont say it becoz its degrading only thing difference is it involves a house too, and moving out is easier said than done that much I know we can sing as much as we like but the desicion is yours and you cant take all the advices that are given and you still love your man so try and work things out give it time.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 11:37

GML maybe you guys should go to pre-marital counceling. You can get it for free at most churches.

pre-marital counselling with no wedding date.... not even lobola. where are they gonna get a pastor who will counsell them for that long.

Cody..i give up...all your response are similar to mine.

If not I am moving in with my sister adn taking half the furniture with me. He initially wanted the house so he can keep it and I'll take the furniture.

 you want to give him a bargain within a bargain.

sponono
22 Jan 2009 11:37

Nonny...mina my problem is that she wants us to get married so badly she even mentioned it when i visited her place for xmas dinner..and her parents heared it from their room and her sisters just looked on...when he said that I will send lobola one day..whereas I've neva even mentioned no sch thing in fact she even gave me some kinda date..and I still neva commited myself..reason for my reluctance is that I know a lot of ish about her and her family and i'm not sure if i wanna be part of it...so I'm takin my time an maybe i will maybe i wont...but yena she's pushing for THE BOTTOM LINE......LOL

realist
22 Jan 2009 11:38

you are making me a betjie doner!!!
Was it really necessary?

Dimago
22 Jan 2009 11:39

If not I am moving in with my sister adn taking half the furniture with me. He initially wanted the house so he can keep it and I'll take the furniture.
LOL..GML i hope it does not get to that...

Cande
22 Jan 2009 11:39

GML just keep praying girl, the lord will point you to the right direction

myname
22 Jan 2009 11:40

Iyooooo people are strong nhe. Some of the things nna i just cant do it. I give up easily esp in relationship ndiba nari

Cande
22 Jan 2009 11:42

kwa kwa kwa Sponono, I am so happy I am one of those anti-marriage people. So I've got no bottom line....LOL

Me & You both Nonny

maud
22 Jan 2009 11:43

i know love is blind and trust me , i have seen the worse in life . my friend (i just hope she is not a member of TVSA ) stayed with this guy and did everything for him, my friend was a widow her late husband left everything, business, and taxis to her as young as she was. the guy was driving her cars  controling all the monies in the house, he told my friend that he was going to be the best man on his friends wedding,  my friend bought clothes ,guess what he was getting married.

my friend tried commiting suicide several times, even today we dont talk about that story.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:45

I give up too BA!!! kwa kwa kwa, i was about to say marriage councelling without mahadi....etc!!!

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 11:45

reason for my reluctance is that I know a lot of ish about her and her family and i'm not sure if i wanna be part of it...so I'm takin my time an maybe i will maybe i wont...but yena she's pushing for THE BOTTOM LINE......LOL
Hayingeke Sponono, keep on stalling until u are sure u are ready for the bottom line, coz remember umendo uyamushintsha umuntu.

If not I am moving in with my sister adn taking half the furniture with me. He initially wanted the house so he can keep it and I'll take the furniture
No no no gal, that will be too easy and too loght, u need to make sure u walk away with every removable & movable item in that house even if it mean ukuqaqa ompompi nosinki, the house must be so empty that even if u tip toe there must be a loud echoe when u leave.

sponono
22 Jan 2009 11:49

maud your friend was lucky mina my friend (ok not really my friend but someone i knwo..LOL) was killed by her new boyfriend for her late husbands things becoz he had a taste of luxury that she provided  and after he likked her his new girlfrined from the township moved in and he was  only caught after a year at least your friends boyfriend left her and got married..i mean she can always get another BF  and she still has everithing

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 11:49

my friend tried commiting suicide several times, even today we dont talk about that story.
Maud - OMG, GAAAD shem man, nami I would wanna kill myself for having everything and losing it all to someone who doesn't even love me. Oh Nkosi, I hope ur friend gets over this and one day she can talk abt this to educate others and she will also heal.

Toodecent
22 Jan 2009 11:50

Modimo Weeeeeee.........@maud story.

makgotso
22 Jan 2009 11:50

Shuuuuuuuuuu that sad Maud.

sponono
22 Jan 2009 11:52

after he likked her---i meant after he  KILLED HER...LOL

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:54

even if it mean ukuqaqa ompompi nosinki, the house must be so empty that even if u tip toe there must be a loud echoe when u leave.

Sixple loling at Nonny!!!!!!! haibo!!!!! furniture is nix. the house is worth a whole lot more. In the mean time make sure you kept every receipt of everything you bought in that house or the best way is to make a contract regarding your situation so that when push comes to shove at least you would walk out with half the money for the house and half of the furniture. i forgot hore what is the name of the contract. i will google.

TheLady
22 Jan 2009 11:56

'ompompi nosinki,' hahaha-kodwa uwashiyelani ama curtain rails nama window frames...

hey ungakhohlwa yi gate bo

sponono
22 Jan 2009 11:58

PEOPLE .....MAUD did not say her FRIEND LOST everithing she just lost the man and obviously the tuxedo she bought for his wedding..as for the other stuff he was controlling..well maud didnt say he TOOK IT with him..unless he withdrew money and had the house written on his name or sumthin....so...no need for her to get worked up cos she still has most if not all her late husbands wealth....OK

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 11:59

'ompompi nosinki,' hahaha-kodwa uwashiyelani ama curtain rails nama window frames...
hey ungakhohlwa yi gate bo
heheheheh that's the spirit, grand grand GML is supposed to walk away with everything, if not then most of the things.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 11:59

LOL TheLady & Nonny, she can do all that, but it doesnt take away the love and the pain. i hope it doesnt come to that....just like Cande said. Prayer will always give you the best direction..

Dimago
22 Jan 2009 12:01

hey ungakhohlwa yi gate bo
LOL..ya'll a crazy...

Vida
22 Jan 2009 12:02

Pre-marital concelling can be used to determine if you are truely compatiable so there will be nodody asking if they can have their Lobola back when you change your mind Hawu!!! Kanti nina nigibela ibus ningayasi ukuthi iyaphi???LOL

maud
22 Jan 2009 12:03

@: Nonny 1/22/2009 5:49:55 PM
.
Maud - OMG, GAAAD shem man, nami I would wanna kill myself for having everything and losing it all to someone who doesn't even love me. Oh Nkosi, I hope ur friend gets over this and one day she can talk abt this to educate others and she will also heal. 

She is so over protective  now, she is now on  no strings attached relationship, but she is one of the most successfull and reach woman, when we are to gether all we talk about is making money and how to spend it ,man is out of the topic, 

maud
22 Jan 2009 12:04

rich

maud
22 Jan 2009 12:09

i phoned my friend excited that ,i was getting married, she ask me to bring my B/F statement from the bank she wants to Assess him , and i must make sure that we marry  (ANC) yours is yours mine is mine.

TheLady
22 Jan 2009 12:13

Isn't ANC yours is mine and mine is mine?

My man has been asking me to move in for a while, I just need to come back to this article to remind myself how to ruin a good thing.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 12:14

Pre-marital concelling can be used to determine if you are truely compatiable so there will be nodody asking if they can have their Lobola back when you change your mind Hawu!!! Kanti nina nigibela ibus ningayasi ukuthi iyaphi???LOL

@Vida...there must be other pre-marital counselling i dont know of ..because the one that i know of, is not the compatibility scale ...but more about how married couple live together and make their marriage work

felfel
22 Jan 2009 12:16

myname thats me, vele i haven't always been like this but my fuse is too short now to tolerate rubbish, i can't stand a single lie,I see a lie a mile away galloping at full speed about to burst out of his mouth. after just one lie to me sele ucishile qha and i'm just looking at you through FBI eyes...........i guess when u've seen and experienced enough you realise that your heart is your life support not a man.

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 12:24

i phoned my friend excited that ,i was getting married, she ask me to bring my B/F statement from the bank she wants to Assess him , and i must make sure that we marry (ANC) yours is yours mine is mine.
ANC (in marriage bloggers, not in politics....LOL) is the way to go.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 12:37

i can't stand a single lie,I see a lie a mile away 

I know what you mean Felfel!!! lol!!!!

Vida
22 Jan 2009 12:39

Best-Achiever I hear you on that one.

 However, if you have a good marriage councellor the first question is"why do you want to get married" and starts with the mind set that each partner has before anything else can be done! And one can see even then if you and your partner are compatiable and if not, is it because of things you can fix or things you cant! So if you do have certain aspects of your relationship that are already on shaky ground a good marriage counceller would work you through that even befor they tell you what comes after the wedding!! The church where I go(not gonna say which) you have to submit to atleast several months of councelling because they do want to take you through all those steps. There are people who have been told they should no get married. Some listen, some dont,and a lot of the time those that dont wind up in marriage councelling a few months later!! I think it helps!

myname
22 Jan 2009 12:47

LOL Felfel bt true dear...........i guess when u've seen and experienced enough you realise that your heart is your life support not a man.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 12:53

i do understand you Vida..but i know for sure that all those who go to pre-marital counselling, they already know the date and have already paid lobola.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 12:59

mm, Me 2 BA, i know of a friend of mine who went there after mahadi,because apparently there is a question hape about what the person has done to show umakoti wakhe that he truelly wants to get married.

GML
22 Jan 2009 13:14

Tracy: Whose surname are you using now? Did you guys sign after the lobola or are you waiting for the wedding to do it?

Vida
22 Jan 2009 13:15

She is wearing the man`s ring on her finger....maybe she should just suggest it and if he agrees thats a good sign....she does belive in signs after all.hehehe

maud
22 Jan 2009 13:22

Tracy: Whose surname are you using now?- do you have to change the Surname vele? hayi mina ngathi senginama doubts manje,  nalokushada ngathi kuyistress qala before nendoda iba istress.

bese kuza nalokuzala, tsho '''''''''tsho ''''''savelelwa, nokuqala ulayele manje maso uhamba. usho nokuthi uzobuya ini mmmm, can somebody shoot me please,ngoba angeke kwenzeke lokho ngisaphila.

Tshd21
22 Jan 2009 14:12

NOTE TO SELF:

1. Never ever move in with a man, UNLESS I know, am sure of, and have proof of the bottom line...

2. The house contract has my name written all over it....

GML, the dude is bullshitting you, period. This is your life and relationship too, you need to know everything that concerns it there of.  Wait for end-Feb and if the lobola doesn't go through, move on. He did set that deadline himself didn't he??

Nonny
22 Jan 2009 14:16

1. Never ever move in with a man, UNLESS I know, am sure of, and have proof of the bottom line...
LOL good note Tshd21.

realist
22 Jan 2009 14:24

GML, out of interest, your BF is he from Ekasi? If he is then something is not right with him.

GML
22 Jan 2009 14:26

Yes, he is and so am I (not really)
Y do you ask?

TheLady
22 Jan 2009 14:28

My goodness realist-now if he was from some farm or suburb something will be right with him?

Cody
22 Jan 2009 14:30

hai!

GML
22 Jan 2009 14:34

My mom always said to me
"God puts people in front and behind us. Learn from the mistakes and success of those in front of you so that you can teach those who come behind- your kids"

So to all who have never lived with a man/woman before dont try it, unless he/she  is just a room mate.

Zah000
22 Jan 2009 14:36

your BF is he from Ekasi? If he is then something is not right with him.
How so??

what aka mathata
22 Jan 2009 14:38

@cody,wi nja today.

realist
22 Jan 2009 14:39

Remember the article: What do you want? My question is based on that article. Since you doubt whether you are from Ekasi or not, start behaving like one and you will see the results. At the pace you are going it seems to me that you are too compliant.

Vida
22 Jan 2009 14:46

@realist - "Since you doubt whether you are from Ekasi or not, start behaving like one and you will see the results."

Meaning?

Cody
22 Jan 2009 14:49

Hai realist i dont see where you going with this sweetheart! please get to the point

Vida
22 Jan 2009 14:51

@Cody LOL

realist
22 Jan 2009 14:53

Vida: Read the article: What do you want and you will get the meaning.

maud
22 Jan 2009 14:54

Please realistic -some of us bafunda i Bantu education inqondo iyancambaza sana

GML
22 Jan 2009 14:58

The reason I'm not sure is because my neighbourhood is considered a Surbub. I used to live ekasi before moving to the suburb.

The people in the suburb are living more like kasi people hence my uncertainty.

So what is your point??? Or do you really have 1?

Vida
22 Jan 2009 14:59

LOL Kodwa what does coming from "Ekasi" or not have to do with it realist???

HARAMBE24
22 Jan 2009 14:59

Here i what happened to a friend of mine: He was staying in joburg and he met this guy last year ,...(yes they are gays)..now within a month , my friend moved into the guy's house. Guess what = this sunday the guy told my frien that it was over and he wanted him out of the house....my friend attempted suicide. I am the one who found him in the house having taken an overdose of tablets...And mina i ahd to take him to Bara...sorry guys, i will not move in with a man unless the house is mine..too hot to be a hobo.

realist
22 Jan 2009 15:01

Seriously guys the answer is in that article. Read the replies and you will understand. If I explain you will not get the point.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 15:01

too hot to be a hobo.

triple lol!!!!..............and that you are H24

myname
22 Jan 2009 15:03

Ok Realist can i get the link 4 that article plz?

Cody
22 Jan 2009 15:04

I just read it realist, and stru's bob i still dont get it. maybe you should explain. but hai ke sometimes ke slow, i will have to read it all over again.

GML
22 Jan 2009 15:06

Realist: Have you any idea how many replies are here? Just say what have to say man.

Vida
22 Jan 2009 15:09

Ok realist I read the article soI get where you are coming from.So what are you saying? That he wont marry her cause he is from  ekasi....kodwa why do kasi guys have such a bad rep??? They cant all be like that?

BigMama
22 Jan 2009 15:11

Just read the article not the replies people you will get the answer, GML used simply English, it is easy to understand. Go read now with open eyes and mind.

myname
22 Jan 2009 15:12

Guys i searched but i couldnt find this article kanti vele nina where do u get it? Im coming from BLOGS......Can some1 plz give me the link or the real subject ke kupa tu???

realist
22 Jan 2009 15:13

Here is sample of the replies:
Firstly I look for beauty then body shape and lastly brains. If the relationship goes past the shagging then brains becomes the top priority and the rest do not matter. I can’t believe I replied to this.
Reply from: cleve 1/7/2009 5:35:16 PM
There are plenty of good men out there. baningi. Don't ever settle for second best because they always want you to believe that there is no good man out there. So you can stay for K@*K Wait for him he will come.
Reply from: GML 1/7/2009 5:35:34 PM
I think that we attract a certain kind of people because of the way we behave and carry ourselves.
If you are loud and act all crazy in town you will attract guys from Ekasi who are into loud women. They see you as a party gal who drinks and is just perfect for taking out to the shebeen.
Reply from: GML 1/7/2009 6:21:52 PM
There is nothing wrong with Kasi guys. What i'm saying is guys who like to drink alot would want a loud womw\en who potrays certain characteristics that will show him that she will tolerate his drinking. More often than not women who like to act all crazy are drinkers and they are not shy at all. And that's what i'm saying.

You do find Kasi guys who are good that hate loud women who drink and party hard. They want someone who behave like a lady in public.


Lets face it. Most guys from eksi do not have the the characteristics that say I can love you 

They are not compliant...realist wat do u mean...guys prefer ladies abanga bambi umthetho..i thought guys want suumbody to submit to them...plz elaborate on that statement!

There you have, just a sample. Read the whole article and then you will understand.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 15:16

http://www.tvsa.co.za/default.asp?blogname=Whatmenwant&ArticleID=10502

maud
22 Jan 2009 15:16

@myname- ndizamile sengikhiphe nama spectacles kubuhlungu amehlo, i cant find anything.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 15:16

copy and paste to your browser Myname

GML
22 Jan 2009 15:19

Realist: Okay. I get what you're saying. And I still maintain ukuthi there are guys from Ekasi who are genuinely goo d guys. Like my man. I wouldnt have fallen in love with him if had a typical kasi rep. He was different and that's what I loved about him. If you look at him and his whole family, there is nothing that says asi about them.

What I'm trying to say is yes he's from ekasi but 3 years in the relationship I have never had a problem with him. If anything he is a gentleman or was

myname
22 Jan 2009 15:21

Oh thank you Cody.....let me go ........ Lol Maud

realist
22 Jan 2009 15:22

GML, The guy is having second thoughts about marrying you. If you are prepared to wait that long at least do yourself a favour and find out from him when is he going to do it. You should ask him assertively and not this baby talk crap. Do it now so that you know where you stand. If Tracy managed to walk away so you can. Tracy was compliant until she realised it was too late. So do not fall into the same trap.

realist
22 Jan 2009 15:25

GML, only three years and you are already complaining. I married my commander in chief only after eight long years and she never complained. Ok I am lying she did complain but it took eight years to sign my death warrant.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 15:25

great point there realist.

GML
22 Jan 2009 15:26

But did we not say I should wait for feb to see if things do happen. I do intend to sit him down, but I'm also wiling to wait and see what happens. What a life without faith and trust. He gave me his word about FEB and I'll Wait

Vida
22 Jan 2009 15:26

<<<If anything he is a gentleman>>>

Not to be mean or judgmental but a gentleman does not refrain from talking to you for 3 day,then wanna have sex without trying to fix whats wrong.

Just saying nje,hayi kabi.

maud
22 Jan 2009 15:27

thanks for the link Coty- i missed at article,i guess its one of those days when i am trying to impress my boss, today ndidiniwe ,

GML
22 Jan 2009 15:30

I am not complaining. I'm simply confused by the sudden change in his actions. He is a straightforward guy who just is not straightforward anymore.

SO asking and demanding answers is complaining. I have no complaints about my relationship. I just think it's a bad situation that I needed clarity on adn I got it from you guys......

Cody
22 Jan 2009 15:31

i dont even want to entertain this kasi thingie, i dont understand it, because really you cant judge a person by where he came from, so it is just imature to think hore surburb boys are the "good" ones. i had myself my black coconut from a rich family but where did that end, he is gone, and i am with a kasi guy, i have never experience that kind of royal treatment that he gives me. So please it all has to do with a persons character..........im wasting my time with this.


Nna 3 years is enough. why do you have to wait for eight years realist? what is it that you want to see? if a guy hasnt seen that thing that he wants to see before marrying you in 3 years time, it means he will never see it, or doesnt want to see it.

Cody
22 Jan 2009 15:33

Do that wena GML.

Vida
22 Jan 2009 15:36

A wise person once said "that people dont change,they just become more of who they really are"...there has to be some truth to that.

Cande
22 Jan 2009 15:38

stop confusing GML guys, LOL!!!!

maud
22 Jan 2009 15:38

@Coty-Nna 3 years is enough. why do you have to wait for eight years realist? what is it that you want to see? if a guy hasnt seen that thing that he wants to see before marrying you in 3 years time, it means he will never see it, or doesnt want to see it.
 

if you are in a relationship ,dont concetrate on marriage, just have fun, marriage will follow there are lots of things important to think about. it can be ten years its fine as long as you are happy and off course the marinate is okay.

Best-Achiever
22 Jan 2009 15:38

Good luck GML ....hope it turn out in your favour.

realist
22 Jan 2009 15:39

Cody: Have you heart the saying, a man marries a woman thinking that she knows the woman very well and woman agrees to get married to the man thinking that he will changed the man. You know what? They are both wrong. That is why there are so many divorces because of that fact.

Vida
22 Jan 2009 15:41

If deep inside you you do trust that in Feb he will honour his word to you then stick around girl. Do what is right for you GML.

GML
22 Jan 2009 15:42

Thank you guys.

Ask me what happens in FEB

myname
22 Jan 2009 15:47

LOL 2 death warrant ......Ok i read that article bt im confused bcoz i dont think its related to this issue...honestly

Tshd21
22 Jan 2009 15:52

Goodluck baby gal, hope everything works out well..... and know that a break up can be good too.

babetm
22 Jan 2009 16:04

BigMama
22 Jan 2009 16:09

Good luck GML, be patient and pray to God to show you the right direction. Don´t ever doubt that your man loves you until he tells you saw. It doesn´t matter if he is from ekasi, suburbs, america or zimbabwe, if you were meant to be nothing will break you up. Maybe he is going through a rough time and he just can´t discuss it with you, just be support him thats is if he is not pushing you away.
Swallow your pride gal and never allow your self to go to bed without resolving your problems, never leave them for tomorrow because tomorrow might be too late.
Even if you won´t be able to solve the problem that very night but make sure that your man understands whats going on in your head.
Each and every relationship goes through a rough phase but that does pass and you can solve that with respect, love and caring.
l know what you are going through sister and l know that right now you are confused, but just be patient and you will receive your reward at the end.
Be free to talk to your man about anything and it will be easy for him to open up to you, make him your friend, your brother and most of all respect him.
l have said enough for the day, but my last word is be patient and give him time, don´t pack your bags if he doesn´t pay lobola by February. But you are the one staying with him, if you see that he doesn´t give you the same love he used to give you sit him down talk to him and if he doesn´t give you a straight answer you can take further steps from there. May God bless you and give you strength to be strong till the end, may He help you see the light.

babetm
22 Jan 2009 16:16

 i was about to move in with my boyfriend but now i've changed my mind.

@gml, give him some time and see what happens, if he does not want to pay lobola at all is not too late my sister.any problem you face in yo life just take it as a challenge.this might be leading u to greener pustures.

ur mr right might be waiting for u and if it is part of  God 's plan for u to get married u wont even hav to ask for it, it will be a surprise.God's plans are not to harm us but to lead us to prosperity. 

miss u bloggers and bye till 2morow

GML
23 Jan 2009 11:00

Last night finds me and my man having a serious talk. He asked me not to cook and he brought home KFC.

He started off by saying that he understands my frustrations but i also have to understand that this is a sensitive time for his family. This month reminds all of them of the trying times they experienced when his father was on his death bed untill he passed on. Both DEC and Jan are bad months. So he thought I would be sensitve to that adn give him and his family a bit of space. He reassured me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and he bought me a house to show me how serious he is about me.

I told him that I do understand and that I am aware of what this period represents to him. I have been trying to give him the space to deal with it but also trying to get him out of his bad mood by talking about something I consider to be exciting for us both and our families. I thought talking about it would take him out of his mood and get him excited about life again.

I also told him how much i love him and I would have never moved in with him If i felt that he wouldnt keep his promise.

I sat there in his arms all night saying nothing and it felt so good to just breathe again after days of silence.
WE woke up this morning all happy and I knew at that moment that I should have never doubted him......... Or myself.

Nonny
23 Jan 2009 11:03

Last night finds me and my man having a serious talk. He asked me not to cook and he brought home KFC.
And nothing beats the fingerlicking good taste of KFC. Mina at home I noticed, it doesn't what fancy ribs u bring for supper, KFC is what they love most.

kick-s
23 Jan 2009 11:17

Usually when a person asks for advice, at the back of their minds, they already know what they wanna do. They just want confirmation or reassurance from others.
If i tell GM to leave this man, she'll think i'm crazy, if not jealous. If someone else tells her to hang in there, then that will make more perfect sense in her ears.
In essence, what i'm trying to say is, THE BEST ADVICE, IS WHAT A PERSON WANTS TO HEAR.

tracy
23 Jan 2009 11:31

@GML - Thats good to know being stressed is not a good thing

Nonny
23 Jan 2009 11:39

WOW Kick-S, ur reply makes so much sense.

myname
23 Jan 2009 11:48

Im glad to hear this GML. Yhazi sometime people tell u their stories & do u know it doesnt affect u alone but people like me also think about these things & i find myself praying 4 GML although i dont even know who GML is. Its funny nhe but true...........Nonny when i want chicken, i want KFC doll a ke batle your ANC Nandos. KFC is the best even if im on diet.

tracy
23 Jan 2009 11:58

GML dont kill me for this its off the topic I need to know anyone who watches prison break I just started watching it recently I need to know briefly how all hell break loose.

GML
23 Jan 2009 12:02

I do my dear. I never miss an episode.

There is always drama. You have to be specific.

nice
23 Jan 2009 12:03

@ Nonny And nothing beats the fingerlicking good taste of KFC. Mina at home I noticed, it doesn't what fancy ribs u bring for supper, KFC is what they love most.

True that Nonny, I once brough spare ribs and they told me that they dont enjoy sweet meat, I was so furious with them. so now it is KFC, Nandos and Romans pizza all the way and in that order. They wont hear of others

GML , good luck with everything and next time be sure to talk to your man when you are not sure of anything, communicate.

nice
23 Jan 2009 12:06

spare = Spur, who the Engrish bantu!

Nonny
23 Jan 2009 12:11

True that Nonny, I once brough spare ribs and they told me that they dont enjoy sweet meat, I was so furious with them. so now it is KFC, Nandos and Romans pizza all the way and in that order. They wont hear of others
LOL same with my family, they don't even believe in pizzas ke bona.

tracy
23 Jan 2009 12:13

where those guys arressted for the crime they committed or they where framed and how many are on the loose coz from yesterday I figured 4 maybe

Lessie
23 Jan 2009 12:14

us not talking for the past 3 days
3 days not talking to someone you are even sharing a bed with ....i cant imagine

It happens guys.........this is reality of umshado. U do thingz dat u never thought u capable of doing

Joe
23 Jan 2009 12:16

Is this tvsa?

Nonny
23 Jan 2009 12:19

hehehehheh yeah Joe it's tvsa, yindaba?

poshspice
23 Jan 2009 12:26

GML:He reassured me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and he bought me a house to show me how serious he is about me. 

I thought you bought a house together? 

Neway I am glad you are feeling better, like other bloggers have said, time will tell but in the meantime take it easy, have fun and focus on other exciting things in your life and let this one play itself out...whatever happens it's meant to be...

GML
23 Jan 2009 12:28

More escaped but they are focusing on the main people.


I started watching after they were arrested. So am not sure if they were framed but it looks like it. These guys had everything planned out in detail

poshspice
23 Jan 2009 12:29

Nonny:hehehehheh yeah Joe it's tvsa, yindaba?

hah ha ha kodwa yini wangikhumbuza isizulu sase DEBHENI 'yindaba' or yinindaba pronounced yindaba......

Nonny
23 Jan 2009 12:32

hah ha ha kodwa yini wangikhumbuza isizulu sase DEBHENI 'yindaba' or yinindaba pronounced yindaba......
LOL, yeah that's our kind of Zulu, we summarize too much.

GML
23 Jan 2009 12:33

Poshspice: Yes we did. He says that because he asked me to buy it with him to shoe how serious he is.

poshspice
23 Jan 2009 12:42

babetum:i was about to move in with my boyfriend but now i've changed my mind

I want to move in with mine, but finding it hard to give up my independence, sharing my space and having to consult abt anything decision b4 I take it and I am used to being a loose canon

never been in a vat n sit situation, have been in a legal one....but am curious, how responsibilities are shared since the two is not legally binded to each other, akekho ohlakaniphela omunye....

one think I am clear about tho is, we are not buying or signing any joint contracts.. period

Joe
23 Jan 2009 12:42

ke lakatsa ho o thswara ka le tsoho, se ka thjethjela moraho!

GML
23 Jan 2009 12:49

It depends on what you guys decide on.

Yes, we both signed papers when buying the house and we both decided that the debit for the house would come from him as he works for the Bank. He pays the bond and car, petrol insurance, his phone, gym adn his university fees

I do the groceries, accounts, my phone, dstv and my university and levies.

He obviously contributes more than I do since he earns more. But we leave enough gor our own private use.

So he cannot ask me what I did with my money If  everything for the house is paid for. What I do with surplus cash is my bizness

realist
23 Jan 2009 13:33

So he cannot ask me what I did with my money If everything for the house is paid for. What I do with surplus cash is my bizness
You see after all you can be independent.

cleve
23 Jan 2009 13:46

What I do with surplus cash is my bizness

that's how we work aswell, as long as your family bills are paid, you can buy a train for all I  care.

felfel
23 Jan 2009 13:56

So you co-signed on the house GML to boost his salary when they were reviewing it for the bond but you not paying for the house. I get it now i thought u were also paying for the house, then its his house and the dstv is urs and the levies are a form of renting your space in the house. 

GML
23 Jan 2009 14:06

Paying for the house is not a problem. because he works for the bank he gets cheaper rates. Eg instead of the 15% we get 12%. It's easier to manage the account from inside........

Kapakapa
23 Jan 2009 16:05

ma blockers, i c that Cody is Coty LOL.

pls excuse my ignorance, where does the word "kipiting" come from and ke what language?

maud
23 Jan 2009 16:14

ukukipita- Isizulu leso

Kapakapa
23 Jan 2009 16:53

dankie maud.

GML
26 Jan 2009 11:12

Morning Bloggers.

I thought I should update you guys.

Yesterday he had a meeting with his family with regards to the negotiations. They decided that they( his family) would meet this coming weekend to discuss whatever families discuss before lobolling adn to draft the letter.

So they have decided on the 28th FEB to come to my place. So the letter will be delivered sometime next week and hopefully my folks will agree to the proposed date.

Strolicious
26 Jan 2009 11:22

all da best GML.

Nonny
26 Jan 2009 11:23

So they have decided on the 28th FEB to come to my place. So the letter will be delivered sometime next week and hopefully my folks will agree to the proposed date
Goodnews GML, now nomore ignoring each other for three days, it's not healthy for ur relationship gal, someone has to be the bigger person azehlise.

GML
26 Jan 2009 11:29

Yes, I was the bigger person.

Anyways, we are trying to figure out how not to let our cultures clah.

GML
26 Jan 2009 11:29

Clash

Cande
26 Jan 2009 11:39

yazi GML i was thinking about this yesterday, uguthi i understand you moving in with him before you got married i mean the cost of living is too high and you get couples that own their own places individually but they practically live together which according to me is a waste of money

GML
26 Jan 2009 11:43

Living together does help especially if you're looking to save money.

It's better for him as he could save for the lobola. I guess people do it for different reasons.

Nonny
26 Jan 2009 11:53

Anyways, we are trying to figure out how not to let our cultures clash.
GML, if I may ask, what are the two cultures here, I mean u and him???

GML
26 Jan 2009 11:55

Zulu and Sotho. My mom is from KZN and she will want to make sure that things are done properly. His family is also traditional.

Best-Achiever
26 Jan 2009 11:58

WOW .im happy for you GML ...i take it they are still going to your family to formally iform them of your relationship and then talk about how much lobolo do your family want/need.

i hope and pray that your uncles are not anything close to my one crazy uncle.

all the best dear

NtandoN
26 Jan 2009 11:59

GML when it comes to culture and religion I personally think that you have to be more of the same culture and religion for things to work for you.

I have been a Christian, Rastafarian and Muslim and believe you me it has always played an important role on my failed relationships.

Best-Achiever
22 Jul 2009 12:13

feedback Please GML .... did he pay lobolo?

Mafresh
22 Jul 2009 14:27

If yes, When is the mahlabiso, phela wena o makhi, so don't forget to invite

GML
22 Jul 2009 14:33

He did pay. And everything was finalised last weekend.

The mahlabiso( ukuvuma in Zulu) will be in August (late already) or September,

We will have the White wedding and Umembeso next year.

We are busy with the prenuptial agreement at the moment

maddie
22 Jul 2009 14:48

prenuptial agreement - why prenup?

make sure the house is both in your names

Best-Achiever
22 Jul 2009 14:53

kwa kwa kwa Maddie being Sanlam "always thinking ahead"

GML can you write an article about it  ...LOL

Mafresh
22 Jul 2009 14:56

We are busy with the prenuptial agreement at the moment...

That is so good GML, I hope everyone else goes this root, it is important.

GML
22 Jul 2009 15:11

@Maddie

There are  2 or 3 types of prenuptial agreements.

the 1 being in community of property without accural another with accrual.

We are going for the one with Accrual

@BA: What about? the Prenup or the events that happened ka mahadi?

Best-Achiever
22 Jul 2009 15:14

LOL GML...  everything LOL..im just kidding

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