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Women Seeking Love...on TV

Written by Dimago from the blog Some food for thought on 15 Sep 2008
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So I have been disturbed by a number of reality shows on our screens where women are in search of their true love. This weekend alone I think I saw about four on DSTV, okay maybe just three.


The first one is on BBC Lifestyle which is called: How to find a husband. The host of the show - Sally Gray (37 years) has 10 weeks to answer the question "If I'm so bloody gorgeous, funny, clever and successful, then why am I still single?" i.e. find a husband. Her main source to find suitors is an internet dating sites but she also enlists the help of psychologists and psychics in order point her in the right direction.

Husband
Sally Gray - trying to find a husband

Another one I saw was Paradise Hotel on Mnet Series. This show follows a group of single men and women who are given the opportunity of a lifetime - to live together in the most exclusive resort ever created. But paradise doesn't last forever... each week one hotel guest will be eliminated to make room for a new guest. From what I saw on Saturday morning, this is a sleazy big brother like show that should not be broadcast on daytime tv (although it’s a repeat episode) or should rather have a higher age restriction like SNL 18(currently its 16).

Paradise
Paradise Hotel Cast

suicide
Nathan from paradise Hotel committed suicide last year
(he's bending and wearing a white top in cast pic)

Age of Love (also on Mnet Series) is a dating competition where a man (the current contestant is 30 year old) is given a chance to choose one woman from 2 groups. One group is made up of six women in their 20’s and the other group is seven women in their 40’s. The driving question behind this show is "When it comes right down to it, is age really just a number?”

AOLCast
Age of Love Cast

This phenomena of women having problems with getting dates and/or husbands is not limited to America & UK, we have our very own shows that have been dedicated to hooking up lonely people i.e. Amazing and DateBuzz.


These TV shows just woke me up to the harsh reality that many of us face, and now our misery has been turned into a million dollar industry. Since I am not brave enough to seek a date on TV, I’ll have to stick to the old fashioned way of getting a date and pray that something decent comes my way.

Disclaimer: I wanted this article to be deep...but i'm just not getting there

38 Comments

Sobza
16 Sep 2008 01:04

People are desperate out there. They are looking for love in all the wrong places.

tha - bang
16 Sep 2008 01:40

People are desperate out there. They are looking for love in all the wrong places.its not just the love its also the money and the fame,society has reached a low point that we would even commercialise getting hitched or finding loe.whats next the ultimate survivour were hobos and street kids are put in a cage to fight for the last scrap of food?

MamaOmpha
16 Sep 2008 01:41

This shows are so tacky (if it is the right word to use).  On the other hand they show that it hard  out there to find a partner if people are willing to go to such extreme measures.  That y some of us are stuck in relationships that are not worth it because of the fear on being alone

kick-s
16 Sep 2008 01:44

Do you think that is ever lasting love? i don't think so. Look at Kaya FM's newlyweds, the strangers that met for the first time at the alter. 3months later the marriage is over.

Best-Achiever
16 Sep 2008 01:54

People out there are so impatient, there are here and now kinda people, they are afraid of being alone hence they don't care who they are with as long as they are with someone. They want to be loved and that's why they go to such extremes just to find love.

Cande
16 Sep 2008 01:55

I dont support internet dating, this love game shows & even been hooked-up...I believe people shouldn't go looking for LOVE but LOVE should be waiting for them..
I think like Sobza said, its desperate people who do that..

Golden Star
16 Sep 2008 01:56

Great article Dimago. 

I also think this celeb culture is getting out of hand and more and more of us believe we can be celebs overnight and will do anything to get there otherwise there wouldn't be so many "reality shows".

tha - bang
16 Sep 2008 01:59

Look at Kaya FM's newlyweds, the strangers that met for the first time at the alter. 3months later the marriage is over.is that what happened,yikes. I wonder what happened to tatiana and rchie(anyone knows) ?
but the shows are tacky and we are even tackier for exposing ourselves to them.but i still believe people are willing to degrade themselves for the right amount of money and fame

Cnglemother
16 Sep 2008 02:07

Dimags what was the beef about at the beach on Paradise hotel, I kept skipping channels, the blackguy kept swearing big words at one white chick and i thought he was gonna slap her? 

There are success stories, reality freaks remember Trista (she had blond hair) who was not chosen by Alex on the Bachelor and went on to be the bachelorette and married Ryan, had a little boy (Max) and still married (married in 2003), 5 years of marriage that's impressive in celebville. 

There was one bachelor who got engaged to the woman (contestant), fell inlove with one of the female producers of the show (while filming the show) and called of the wedding and married that producer. 

Dimags for making me aware of the other love shows, was only aware of Paradise hotel, i am a fan and normally follow their stories even after the show has ended.

Segololo
16 Sep 2008 02:11

I breezed through them too... and I agree that they are sleazy... and you really can't make a deep topic about them but props to you, my friend, you tried well... 

that hotel ish is scary... espech the way the guys just demand and almost emotionally abuse the women... that virgin was crying that its sad that her being herself will not carry her through as it seems not enough for the men as they want more... come on!! why go on the show? I mean would you want to lose your hymen to a complete stranger that is abusive that you won't give it up on international tv...??? I changed channels right there!!

Mathaz
16 Sep 2008 02:11

I think it's more about the fame than anything else.  People have this fixation with TV and entertainment, they are not desperate for love nor are they looking for it.  It's all about playing a game which at the end will make you famous.  It's all an illusion for you hardly get reality "stars" who are well known.  You are in this season and the next the producers will find the next big thing and the public forget about you.

Segololo
16 Sep 2008 02:14

tha-bang
<<I wonder what happened to tatiana and rchie(anyone knows) ? >> Richard went back to his wife, Ricki,. she manages his affairs now... business and personal affairs. Tatiana is the Angolan anchor fior the BBA3 show...she looks like michael jackson now... stress of a failed tv relationship?

Username
16 Sep 2008 02:22

Great article Dimago, but at the end of the day there is a market out there for this crap and as long there is demand for it there will always be a supply.

Talent competitions, dating websites and reality shows feed off the desperation for “stardom” as mentioned in the replies. Sleaze sells unfortunately.

Vesa
16 Sep 2008 02:23

Angolan anchor fior the BBA3 show...she looks like michael jackson now... stress of a failed tv relationship?

I saw her on Sunday....chivk doesn't look good at all!

Cnglemother
16 Sep 2008 02:31

Richard went back to his wife, Ricki - Eish i hope Tati was not watching when he rubbed into our faces bragging, yeah i am back with my with my wife, i cringed for Tati. Gaetano & Abbey? LOL! 

Most of these desperadoz are hot and sizzling, it makes u wonder. The black guy on paradise hotel looks like a male super model. 

Suicide- why?But the virgin chick - what was she thinking going on that kind of a show knowing the other girls will do anything to get the man? hayi suka people like complicating themselves!

Dimago
16 Sep 2008 02:40

CNGLE: The white dude referred to Raheim as black and ghetto - which was totaly uncalled for...true to his black and ghetto nature, R flipped...

Sego: I mean would you want to lose your hymen to a complete stranger that is abusive that you won't give it up on international tv...???
Absolutely not, it shows how shallow some people are. Her selling point was her virgin status...

I agree also that its more about being an overnight celebrity, how else would you explain how good looking and perfectly built the contestants are...

Segololo
16 Sep 2008 02:45

and there's Amber and Rob, byron and mary

*sigh* it's really hard in the real world

the bachelor updates
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhKjgX_4ncs

felfel
16 Sep 2008 02:50

OMG things just get worse, sorry Dimago but i think this a relevant platform to share neh, a friend just sent me a link to a website called: www.donotdatehim.co.za
where ladies post info and pics of certain "sleaze balls" they dated and now warning other ladies against them........yhoo, don't know what to say really........

Miss K
16 Sep 2008 02:52

Hey Dimags nice article, u beat me to it coz as i was watching all 3 of them on Sunday i told myself i really would like to know what the bloggers think of this madness. 

Honestly i just felt disgusted that we would sell ourselves so short! And why is it that most of the time its the women that must try and impress this guy as if he's a God or something? U hardly find shows where its guys that are fighting for a woman's attention!! Are we that desperate? And i think these kinda shows are sending the wrong message to guys that they are 'Gods' and we wud do anything to get them to like us. I also gives men the impression that we can take any *bleep!* coz  u don't mind exchanging saliva with a guy who just kissed 5 women before u!! So basically i was disgusted. 

Talk about abuse of power on Paradise coz its like 'if u sleep with me then i have the power to save u from elimination'. WTF???

tha - bang
16 Sep 2008 02:56

well thanks for the update sego.sweet

Miss K
16 Sep 2008 02:57

Dimags please excuse and delete the multiple replies! Thanks

Segololo
16 Sep 2008 02:59

But DEEPLY speaking... let me put a twist to this... devil's advocate

Women are sometimes unrealistic about their "dream boy" and turn away from potential genuine men because the dude does not fit in to her "dream"

let me use myself as an example; I dated chubby guys - that to me was my dream guy look, not skinny... and those guys were horrid, damn experienced hell with them - abusive arseholes. and then I met King K whom I found boring and just so not my type because he was not chubby. do you remember, Dimags? eish

But when I finally cleared my head of the junk I had stored there of the "dream guy" and dated King K... fast forward a couple of years later, he is my life and I can't live without him, we have 2 beautiful children and do go thru crappy times but I wouldn't want to experience them with anybody else but him. He is my husband and as I say to him, we are going to share dentures in 2078.

So my question is "Are woman not finding or being found by good men because their "dream guy" is not packaged in the way they dreamed of it? and do women resort to finding their men in unconvetional ways not seeing the guy they are ignoring?" 

Dimago
16 Sep 2008 03:16

do you remember, Dimags? eish
I remember all too well, you were so crazy...poor King K must have really loved you to put up with your childish ways and eventually married you :)

Fluffy Head
16 Sep 2008 03:29

Good one Dimago...

Mhhh, but I'ld also say that most of the women who go on these shows are not there for love...they are there to boost their TV carrers. Most of them are placed there by agents meaning they are doing this as work.

Very few if any of the relationships actually go beyond the I choose you episode...Really...

But my other question to you, why are you only looking at the women as being the bad guys....

The guys who resort to having a pool of 13 women to choose from (the bachelor and age of love) what about them...Are'nt they the more guilty one's in this case... They are always successful guys that are well to do - why the heck can't they find a woman whithout the TV being involved???

Cnglemother
16 Sep 2008 03:42

They are always successful guys that are well to do - The excuse is always that they are forever travelling and on business trips and dont have time to find love and going through the hassles of dating.  

andi01
16 Sep 2008 03:52

Some women just love the competition, and winning 9getting the guy), makes them think they are super women, they are better than any other woman. but when taht excitiment worns off and reality kicks in, they get bored with the guy.

Pinkpoodle
16 Sep 2008 03:55

interesting and good to be back and see the usual crowd still here Waving like a lunatic..........

Miss K
16 Sep 2008 03:56

The excuse is always that they are forever travelling and on business trips and dont have time to find love and going through the hassles of dating. ....but we know that the honest truth is that they r just being men.  Which guy can say no to having 20 women to kiss and possibly sleep with before making a choice? Its every men's dream come true...having their cake and eating it and not feel guilty about it.

Miss K
16 Sep 2008 03:58

So did the Kaya FM couple really split up?? I cant say im surprised.

Dimago
16 Sep 2008 04:07

Yes Miss K, check out the link below.

http://www.2strangers.co.za/index.aspx?pageid=8&sty=55

Segololo
16 Sep 2008 06:30

so Thandi is a return soldier at 27?

Dimago
16 Sep 2008 07:20

so Thandi is a return soldier at 27?
what was she thinking...Hai people must stop being desperate...many of us are single, you don't see us scrambling to marry strange men!!!!!

Jordan
16 Sep 2008 07:40

Wow!! Look, I am for this ish! Pity I am shy and I don’t guts to stand up to single equally frustrated women, K, I am using the word frustrated quite freely here, by anyway...

I am giving these niggas 4 months, then I am gon look for a show that can hook me up with a lil something-something!! I want Mr. Right to find me still fresh! Phela, when you are 25 you might as well be 60:)

Nice one Dimags.... I say get it where you get it!!

sweetie my baby
16 Sep 2008 13:16

why did that guy commit suicide - trauma related to participating in the show? damn.

Dimago
17 Sep 2008 02:07

@ sweetie, apparently Nathan was suffering from bi-polar....

Cnglemother
01 Oct 2008 11:14

The first one is on BBC Lifestyle which is called: How to find a husband. The host of the show - Sally Gray (37 years) has 10 weeks to answer the question - I am so enjoying this one. Geez the guy with 8 dogs cracked me up. Eish that shrink giving her false hope haaibo.

Toxic
01 Oct 2008 11:46

Hawu, i've never seen this article before.

I would never do a reality show on dating or even finding love however, i kinda get why people would end up doing it or getting married to complete strangers.
There'll come a time when you'll be sitting across a guy in a restaurant/bar/bus/plane wherever and he'll chat you up by sms. it's the age we live in, people no longer know how to speak to each other.

so shows like these help out where they can.

Cnglemother
16 Oct 2008 03:36

heh things are happening kwi paradise hotel. Yoh there is no love there whatsover its just mindgames;schemes and lies. Its just a game and no one should really take it seriously. Heh Tidisha's partner in crime was booted out last week i cant wait to see how she copes with out that instigator.

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