21 May 2008 : A day after blogging with them Psychologists!
This update has been long overdue, hope you guys will advise me well this time, since your not so good advise got me into trouble!!! I got home on the 21st, I thought about what my fellow Psychiatrists/Psychologists (bloggers) advised me to do. Went home, judging by the breadcrumbs on the kitchen counter, I saw that daddy had been here already,panicked & I cooked up a storm. Daddy was so impressed. Telling me how good of a daughter I have been to him and how I have taken good care of him since the death of my old lady, that she taught me well wara wara. Eish! I started feeling guilty; damn I wasn’t looking for any praises because of what I was about to tell him!!!!!! I decided to keep quite and not say anything and finally went to bed, but couldn’t sleep though. I called boyfie told him that I couldn’t do it because of the way daddy was. He told me that his parents came to my house with the letter saying that they are going to come to our house on Friday night to discuss the kids, I wouldn’t have known until I asked him!! I was so shocked!!!! My heart was beating up to my throat, was wondering why daddy didn’t say anything to me???? He tells me everything!!!!
The guilt and trauma
I started fishing for attention from daddy and went to the TV room, watched TV. I knew he would go to my bedroom and check if I was there (he’s been doing that ever since I was young). He came to the TV room and asked me why wasn’t I asleep, I told him that I couldn’t sleep, he acted all dumb and asked me why. I told him that I have been keeping something from him, but didn’t know where to start because I was afraid of disappointing him. He said, “oh!so finally, you are about to tell me about your pregnancy”. I nearly fell off my chair and said “whaaaaaaat”? He said no “its okay, I knew that you are pregnant I was just waiting for you to tell me” (damn him!!) I asked him how does he know that? He said that he can see the changes in my body (but im not showing yet) and that I am always tired etc (and I thought only women are able to see this), and told me that the boy’s family brought a letter to ask for a meeting of Friday but he replied that he will only be available in on Saturday with my uncles. My dad and I didnt discuss anything until till the visitors came.
23 May 2008: D-Day for s**t
To cut a long story short, Saturday came and the uncles from both our sides came and told my dad about the pregnancy and that my b/f wants to get married, so the sad story was that the my dad and my uncles refused the half of the lobola, daddy dearest says he cant accept that his daughter will be married to a person with 3 kids, he will take care of my baby himself. As a result I have been feeling very depressed and couldn’t write my update. My dad and I are not talking and b/f is extremely angry, we are not talking either.
Is it right for my dad to choose who should marry me?
How do I tell him that I wanted to move in with my b/f?
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