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What's your excuse

Written by Dimago from the blog Some food for thought on 30 Apr 2008
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We all have them, those days when you absolutely don’t feel like going to work. You do your damnest to get out of bed, motivate yourself but nothing works. Or maybe you have an interview, and you just need the whole day to yourself. Then you think what the hell, I’m not going to work today, but what am I going to tell them this time. I’ve already killed my grand mother twice,, had food poisoning, tooth ache the works, what am I going to say today?

If your boss is anything like mine, he wants you to call, not sms (this is a new rule, seeing everyone was taking advantage of sms). I used to get away with sms, cause its not lying nine - nine. Now I have to call, and sound all groggy, panicked or something…

I thought we could start a database of excuses your boss might actually believe. I know we’ve all said something, so what have been your all time believable excuses, keep in mind you can't use the excuse twice on the same boss…

Here are some I have used:

I had an interview during the day, and I didn’t want to take the whole day off, so I went to interview at lunch time, but of course it does not take an hour. So I sms’d and said I had a tyre puncture – then only went back to the office later to collect my stuff.

When my boss was really giving me grief and I really didn’t want to be at the office, I sms’d him and told him my car had been broken into. So I had the day off. But I had registered to run the JP Morgan race that day, so I had to miss the race because how can I be running when I’ve had such a traumatic experience? 

Please share, i feel a lazy day coming on sometime in June.



62 Comments

MamaOmpha
30 Apr 2008 02:13

My son has been "immunised" 6 times already this year. It always works for me.

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 02:38

i was once stuck in an elevator in another part of town and was waiting for the maintenance people to help me out.

having a baby helps a lot cause all sorts of illnesses are possible with a baby/toddler.

I'm bad with planned lies so i really am looking forward to this database, it sure will come in handy!!

Cnglemother
30 Apr 2008 02:45

Tru dat Toxy, my baby was always an excuse last year.

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 02:51

LOL Cnglemom, at times i feel guilty for using her cause i think what if she falls ill for real?

My family is scattered all over so i can safely kill off all those other relatives i do not know or that have died already-my grandmother has also died more times than i care to remember. Aunts have had strokes and i've had to take them to the local clinic cause they don't have medical aid and mos u know the queues at local clinics mos.

Dimago
30 Apr 2008 02:53

LOL MamaOmpha, immunised 6 times..hi hi hi...
Its true babies provide the best excuses, i needs to get me one fast...

@ Tox the elevator excuse will fly with load shedding...

Load shedding in my new excuse for coming in late, i get to sleep an extra 15 min...

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 02:55

Load shedding hasn't helped me one bit! we get shed at 6.00am and that's when i leave the house anyway and there are no traffic lights on the highway!

awelani
30 Apr 2008 03:04

U guys are crazy.....I cant really lie about a family member's funeral........work with siblings, so they wud col home and confirm........so I also use my child, i wud say there is a teachers&parents meeting (creche) or he's sick........

MamaO, ur boy has been immunised 6 times and it's only April..........LOL>

sponono
30 Apr 2008 03:16

once i said my trousers zip got stuck on my dick and i couldnt walk had to call for help to cut the pants and then I had to go back home and change..of course i was already late so i decided i might as well stay

My flatmate had fits and i was the onyone there to help him and i didnt know hwt to doI so had to wait for help 

and i also use the piles story  (i dont have them though)

oh here's the one that has always worked.....this morning i woke up with a sharp pain on my left side  sort of like a heart attack and everyone in the house was so alarmed   but two hours later it had subsided and when we called the doctor he just said its nothing serious but anxiety and I had to stay at home (no med certificate requiered.)

for the record i dont like my job very much..in fact his is my last month (if i have enough nerve

Mopakistani
30 Apr 2008 03:19

I usually suffer from period pains so when i feel lazy to go to work thats the excuse i use..its been working for me for years from back in high school...my teachers knew i had to skip school every month due to the pains...mind u,i was a good girl in shool and was a prefect so my teachers never suspected any mischiefs...he,he....

but now like any other mother would i sometimes use my son as an excuse.

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 03:19

once i said my trousers zip got stuck on my dick and i couldnt walk had to call for help to cut the pants and then I had to go back home and change..of course i was already late so i decided i might as well stay 

LMAO!!!!!!

awelani
30 Apr 2008 03:23

LOL @ spopo.

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 03:24

wish i had period pains as well.......or fainting spells.........or migraines...anything nje that i could use as an excuse!

mabhebheza
30 Apr 2008 03:27

Im so luvin pregnancy & its peeks...my xcuse is doctors appointment ,feeling sick eskhaleni i walk in my boss office & she luvs strong perfume so i just frown & say im feelin sick ....and i get the whole day off!!

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 03:29

hahhahahah Mabhebheza, you have a softie for a boss!!

Another excuse....you were withdrawing cash from an ATM, machine swallowed your card and you then went inside the bank. took them forever to open the machine.

Or you discovered money was withdrawn from your account and was fighting a seemingly losing battle with the bank to refund you.

Or you were falsely accused of shoplifting and are held in a cell in hillbrow....

Dimago
30 Apr 2008 03:32

LMBAO Spopo...

So far we have: 
- My baby is going for immunisation
- My baby is not feeling well, taking them to Dr
- There’s a parents/teacher conference, have to leave early today
- One of my relatives has died, have to go make funeral arrangement or attend funeral
- I had severe period pains, migraines, "wanna be heart attack" couldn't  even get out of bed
- My flatmate had fits, had to stay home and take care of them

Cnglemother
30 Apr 2008 03:35

Ouch Spopo, guess no-one wanted to hear the nitty gritties of that story so they let it slide without scrutinizing it, but you overdid it (wayibaxa). 

Toxy
i feel you nami nje i only get sick of serious stuff where i have to be hospitalised and have surgery, i also wish i could have all the niggly small things people take day offs for. I can go for a year without having flu or stomach bugs, my immune system even got better after child birth.

Cande
30 Apr 2008 03:37

Period pains, like izolo i took after lunch off because they were too "heavy"..LOL..
Last week i took off 2 days extra from the leave they gave me..I then went to the doctor to claim to have tonsils and got injected for it.

Mopakistani
30 Apr 2008 03:51

eish this one time my friends and i had a hectic weekend..went on a drinking spree until i lost my voice..monday morning i still didnt have my voice back and i couldnt face my boss coz i looked terrible...had to call and claim i had a terrible flu and as a result had lost my voice..she knew i was lying but as long as she didnt ask me or tell me i didnt really care what she thought...i got to stay home.

suzzy82
30 Apr 2008 03:52

 ppl that died long time ago in my family ,and piles
and claiming to be epileptic (sp )
i'm glad i'm not working anymore so i don't have to lie

Cnglemother
30 Apr 2008 03:59

Hola Parks i am glad you finally got your Goud status.

Mopakistani
30 Apr 2008 04:02

hey Cnglemother..u can say that again!...been sweating my ass off to get Gold.

JustMe
30 Apr 2008 04:06

I am tired of lying from house breaking, flat tyre, funeral (on Fridays) school meeting & doctor's appointments and COURTS ot testify on guys break into my house/car , it is not working anymore! 
This Granny who won't go on pension, only heaven knows why, she is so honest she'll call to say her cat is stuck on the tree & is waiting for paramedics... who normally takes forever to arrived!!!

monwy
30 Apr 2008 04:07

i always say i was sick, you cannot go to work when you are sick unles you working for the devil

KeleFabulous
30 Apr 2008 04:36

you guys are hilarious! i can never bring myself to lie about an illness affecting my baby...i just can't do it.

eish i've killed my grandfather 3 x already (3 diff companies). next i'll kill grandma. i have a problem with killing people who are still living. last week i had to go home quickly and i said my aunt who was looking after my baby at the time, had locked herself outside of the house and my baby was inside alone (sleeping) and i'd better get there before he wakes up and starts screaming. the other time i needed to go to the shops quickly so i said my sister was stuck nearby without petrol and i had to go play hero! period pains always work cos i do get them and they are severe eish but this one time i used that excuse the one week and the next i actually got them and cudn't use that one again! one day's sick leave always works (no dr's note!). and ja my manager also wants us to call her direct, even if she's not in the office, she expects u to call back!

my friend once called work and said her parents had locked her inside the house and when she was about to leave she realised she had left her keys at home. her (very concerned) manager got the keys from her desk drawer, and had someone to volunteer to drive all the way to her place! hehehe guess that one didn't work for her. maybe it works only if you locked your drawers! a colleague also once needed 2 weeks off and said she had to go thwasa. haai but htis was the worst, this other lady said she had a miscarriage when she was never even preggies!

will think of more...this is fun!

Pinkpoodle
30 Apr 2008 04:44

My boss does not give you a day off if you apply so i also have to lie to give myself a day off these are the excuses i have used

My best friend's husband died... i get to have three days for grieving no days taken from my leave.. and all my friend's are not married so might as well kill the husband.

I forgot the taps open at night and the whole flat is soaked... this one is good they always feel sorry for you and you get a loan to fix the carpet

I wear Stilettos and my boss is always comenting that one day i will break my legs because of them... So one day stayed at home and Smsed that i broke my heel just as i was getting out of the car , so where i stay and where i work its far so i dont bother coming back.

I have also used the period pain story

Someone broke into the falt so am sorting things out with the police


pastor chic
30 Apr 2008 04:56

ya'll are crazy anyway hi people,, been tryin 4 da past month to register but for some reason have been failing.... yay finally....

belz
30 Apr 2008 04:59

LOL!!! @ Y'all!!

Aunts have had strokes and i've had to take them to the local clinic > ROFL!!

Before i got my licence i would say im going to book, i would make i call after every two hours and say that im still in the que, at 1 my manager would say dont worry about coming to work, there is no point.

The puncture one ddnt work for me, they sent a driver to fetch me at home, LOL!!

Whenever i need to pop out i've always used the bank one, my card was swallowed, or i need to draw more money so i have to go inside, always works. If i need to bunk work the following day, i fall ill on the day so that they see that i am actually sick, i then call my manager at 5am the following morning and tell her that its really bad so i'll go and see a doctor, she doesn't have a good memory so she wont even ask me for the doctor's report.

carino
30 Apr 2008 05:03

Gaaawwwd... this is interesting..........

here's my list:

1.Once, I had an interview at 12.. so i went to work in the morning & pretended I didnt have a voice. I carried on only about 11 and I said I couldnt do it anymore...I'm going to see the doctor. I cried & they let me go.

carino
30 Apr 2008 05:05

Pinkpoodle
30 Apr 2008 05:06

Velcome velcome pastor chic to TVSA ( In a german accent)

carino
30 Apr 2008 05:09



I once got to work and staged an ashma attack. All eyes were on me but believe me, it was worth it. It was a wednesday and I called that afternoon to say the doctor has booked me off for two days.

Dimago
30 Apr 2008 05:12

LOL  Belz, the licence queue can work...damn why didnt i think of that...

@ Kele,
  locked keys in the house - this is so believable, mara go thwasa & miscarriage - couldn't do that...

@ Mowny, i must be working for the devil then...

I've also used, my car wouldnt start this morning and by the time the mechanic cam through it was lunch time...

Welcome Pastor chick!

Dimago
30 Apr 2008 05:13

hau hau hau carino.. you must have been good to have them believe you...

Madamzee
30 Apr 2008 05:16

LOL you guys!!! 

i think i am going to get sick next week monday!!! we dont even get load shedding at work!!! 

i wish i cud get sick, my boss is so damn strict, we have a clinic and a pharmacy here at work. she will just tell you to come to work and go to the clinic, if the nurse says you must go home, that is when you can go home and i never get seriously  sick. Does anybody have a remedy for getting tonsils? at least two weeks will be a good rest!!

carino
30 Apr 2008 05:20


I lost my ID then always had to go to Home Affairs to get it sorted. and we all know how the queues in Home Affairs are like, right? 
and the people from Home Affairs also used to call me, njee... and ask me to come for fingerprints. 

Oneday my boss said he's coming with me he had to do his passport. Gaaawdd i had to do some serious "thinking on my feet", ek se...

carino
30 Apr 2008 05:20


I lost my ID then always had to go to Home Affairs to get it sorted. and we all know how the queues in Home Affairs are like, right? 
and the people from Home Affairs also used to call me, njee... and ask me to come for fingerprints. 

Oneday my boss said he's coming with me he had to do his passport. Gaaawdd i had to do some serious "thinking on my feet", ek se...

Cnglemother
30 Apr 2008 05:21

miscarriage of all things, Yoh people are brave! 

Carino u have got a liver (unesibindi) LOL!!

carino
30 Apr 2008 05:24

I know someone whose shack was forever burning... or when it rains... it would be flooded.

Best-Achiever
30 Apr 2008 05:30

@belz
If i need to bunk work the following day, i fall ill on the day so that they see that i am actually sick, i then call my manager at 5am the following morning and tell her that its really bad   ....i once used this , i dont normaly bunk work because i get bored to be in the flat for the whole day not unless i need to go somewhere but in that case i alwsys tell the truth.

i once asked my boss on Wednesday if i can  leave early on Friday because i need to go  home(im in JHB and my home is in KZN), he asked me if there was anything wrong; i said NO,, i just miss home and he gave me both Thursday and Friday off and it wasnt taken from my leave ...so sometime truth pays especial if u dont normaly have excusses or miss work .... i dont normal miss work

Baby-A
30 Apr 2008 05:32

roflmao @carino The home affairs story is a classic, nine-nine

Sdakamiswa
30 Apr 2008 05:36

i told the boss once, that my geyser went bust, so i didnt have warm water to wash with, it was in the middle of winter a few years back, one of the coldest days..... i got the day off and he told me to get a plumber & fix.......

awelani
30 Apr 2008 05:39

LMAO @ yall crazy peeps.

Uluthando
30 Apr 2008 05:55

U guys are funny...

A friend of mine eats peanuts for lunch (which she is allergic to) n after a while her whole mouth starts swelling. Guaranteed atleast 2days off work...Dont know y she puts herself thru that trauma.

Y4K
30 Apr 2008 05:55

@madamzee- Tonsils???? Sana you need to open your mouth wide in a cold area.

KeleFabulous
30 Apr 2008 06:03

sdaka you coulda just said udakiwe! LOL

carino your stories haai...hilarious!

there's this one afrikaans middle aged lady...2 weeks won't go by without her getting sick yho! we always wonder why she doesn't just retire. at first she used only one story i don't know how many times (and got away with it)...everytime she came back we knew she had bought prawns somewhere and cooked them and tehn first her husband started running to the toilet then her...she'd sit with you for about an hour relating the same story every-single-time! finally i guess the blonde (literally) realised she had to come up with something new. this one time she came and said she had neck pain and her dr told her it's because the computers at work are positioned krom (not straight) and we're forced to twist our necks so we can work LOL. and then there was cramps in her neck...a funeral (have lost count!), the one time her tooth cracked in half (this happened at work while she was eating lunch), she had the purfect excuse to skip work the next day. haai no that woman...even the old grannies here can see right thru her.

@BA you have a great boss. my previous manager was like that. she was a no-nonsense woman when it came to work but if you needed time off you could be honest and she's understand we have things to do outside of work and sometimes (esp for half days) she wouldn't even ask why you needed that time. but htis one...and the sad part is she's like that with us darikies (she's a darkie herself) and we all believe it's because she can't (or won't) stand up to these whites and tell them their business cos bona they get away with murder! but mna the only time i won't bow down in defeat is when my baby's sick or needs me for whatever reason...she's long given up fighting me on such issues!

Madamzee
30 Apr 2008 06:06

Ohh thanks Y4K will try dat! mos definetely!!!!!!!! at least our clinic cant help me with those!!!!

carino
30 Apr 2008 06:18

@Sdakamiswa i told the boss once, that my geyser went bust


What???? the geyser went bust, njani manje.. as in e tlhogile matswele okanye?

belz
30 Apr 2008 06:20

here at work if you are white and your cat dies or gets sick or whateva the hell happens to your cat you get a day off!!! our manager has cats so she feels sorry for this, im not a pet person so really such things just piss me off, i mean day off coz a cat is sick WTF???? how does a sick cat look like!!!!!

belz
30 Apr 2008 06:21

ROFLMBAO!!!!!!!!! Carino, yho hayi !!!!! kwakwakwa!!!!

Dimago
30 Apr 2008 06:22

LOL Belz, get your own cat...animals are big with white peeps, so i think any animal excuse will fly...

carino
30 Apr 2008 06:41

The other guy that i used to work with did this.

Step one - he applied for another job.

Step two - when he had to go for an interview he said his brother was in an accident, he's in hospital

Step three - Called him for second interview on a Friday - his brother passed away has to take whole week off, go to Kimberley to organise his brother's wedding. Well, he took compassionate leave for this.

Step four. He got the job and had to go for get the contract - His family has to go meet his brother's lawyer and discuss his insurances and stuff like that.

Step five - Had to resign. He's moving to Kimberley to take over his brother's home. as in, marry his brother's wife and look after the children and the cattle and sheep & all that.


It was so funny coz, he maintained his cool through all this. He was down and out and really mourning his brother's death. 
The brother that never existed.


 

tshepiso
30 Apr 2008 06:43

I am so happy the ,,,,,,,, MAHALA...... FLU VACCINE rounds are here again.WE used to go for it and the next week it will be me Again with excuses of  the FAKE side effects.

Mphoyame
30 Apr 2008 06:56

What wedding Carino?

carino
30 Apr 2008 07:02

Mphonyane???

Feza
30 Apr 2008 07:07

I see those who have babies always get away with it. Mina I have the sweetest boss(es) ever ... I tell them straight: "I'm going to a dance audition"!

tshepiso
30 Apr 2008 07:28

Oneday my boss said he's coming with me he had to do his passport. Gaaawdd i had to do some serious "thinking on my feet", ek se... LOL

eish wena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a yoh wa mpolaya!

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 07:30

WE used to go for it and the next week it will be me Again with excuses of the FAKE side effects.

LOL Tshepiso!!

how does a sick cat look like!!!!!

hahahaahahaa Belz, it looks like a sick cat hawu!

and the people from Home Affairs also used to call me, njee... and ask me to come for fingerprints. 

LMAO!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face saying this!

Vutmi
30 Apr 2008 08:27

I told them i had a miscarriage and i told them i wasnt even aware i was pregnant. 
I got two weeks off, bunch of flowers and sympathy sms. the downlow for this was that everyone at work kept on coming to my house to see how i was doing. So i didnt quite enjoy ma week off!!!!!!! mxim and my mother found out and she nearly skinned me alive!!!!!!!! I never told a lie again to get out of work and i used to get out of work a lot. when they asked i told them i was tired or bored or i didnt feel like it. (good thing i was good at what i did and i finished my work on record time or else they would have fired my arse long time ago!!) 

Now that I work for myself its hard to stay away...even when i am very sick, you'll find me with a laptop in bed, working my arse off!!!!!!! DANG!

belz
30 Apr 2008 08:32

Yho Vutmi unesibindi (you are brave) i wouldn't be able to say something like that for fear of it happening for real.

Toxic
30 Apr 2008 08:34

me too belz, i just couldn't! Vutmi, however, i applaud you for going the self-employment route...seriously!

belz
30 Apr 2008 08:40

Yah shem big ups to you Vutmi! Gaad bless you sisi! Tox, eish ngathi kusele thina sobabili.

Dimago
30 Apr 2008 10:25

hmmm Vutmi, u must have hated ur job to pull off a miscarriage...bt shldnt u get 4 or 3 months for that I.e similar to maternity leave


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