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Surviving the first online date

Written by tizoz from the blog online dating on 30 Aug 2007
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I was tempted to add some images but I thought let me play nicely. Now back to the lovely topic at hand. online dating sms dating, mxit etc these are the new ways of connecting with people hassle free as most of these would promise.

The big question is: Is there something like a "hot date waiting for you just a click away"? If they were as hot as they claim to be why are they alone? Do these kind of hook ups ever work? is it just an xcuse for promiscuity? (gaad dont believe I said that didn't mean no harm to anyone)

I would like to hear from you bloggers wot do you think of this, have you done it before, share your experience with us,

Would you consider it? if yes why if no why cum on share your thought's. People please note I am talking about dating not just occasional hook up's.

just thought this would be a nice friday topic.

32 Comments

Flo-Jo
30 Aug 2007 12:57

Hi Tizoz, interesting topic as always. Here's my experience...
I bumped into an internet dating website via som links...browsed the profiles and got intrigued with some of them.Out of boredom (becoz of living in another country) I decided to subscribe to the site, though didnt include my pics.

Boy, I got soo many responses... n began chatting on-line with several of them....(keeping my options open....hi hi hi). Then came the exchanging of pics part....I played safe, n asked for their foto's 1st.....some I cudnt even bear to look at their pics...n there were 2 that I cud stomach.

Then 1 of them suggested dinner, shuuu I thot...that wud take too long, what if I wont like wat I c (phela som people are fotogenic)!!! So I agreed for a drink at a popular bar afta work (ke sebete waitse). He gave me descriptions of what he was wearing on the day....by the time I noticed him, it was too late for me to pretend it's not me!!

To say he didnt even make an effort (to dress up n look gud) is an understatement !!!! He turned out to be from Mzantsi.....interesting conversation we had, displayed som intelligence but not my idea of a boyfriend....after just 1 drink (which I drank quickly), I made an excuse and dashed home!!! That's when I decided, internet hookups r not an option.

Neva contacted him again and deleted my profile from the site.

Bra Bizza
30 Aug 2007 15:37

Nice one man,personaly i think people this promotes UBUSHIMANI!!!!

is the a hot chick ongathatha umuntu serious through these dating meduims???

chatting to people is one thing but hooking up is another and some people might argue that its the first step but i think its wack....

you know those moments where you dig this honey and yet you're not sure how to go about it or the opportunity hasn't presented itself....its a build up to that first step you take and it can be fun but with this ish it just spoils the fun.

tizoz
30 Aug 2007 15:44

nice one, but at the same time one might argue that with life gettin faster n faster cyberspace might end up being the only way

Luke
30 Aug 2007 15:52

I've never dated online, but it seems there are two sides to the story.

I have heard some horror stories (eg. someone sends you a pic of themselves which is either not them at all or a pic of them from years ago, when they looked a lot more attractive), but I have also known people to have a wonderful time. People I know have met and married through online dating.

You can have a good experience or a bad one - kinda like the Spur on any given night. Pot luck. You'll never know until you try.

tizoz
30 Aug 2007 15:56

someone sends you a pic of themselves which is either not them at all or a pic of them from years ago, when they looked a lot more attractive

my gaad am thinkin of removin my pic on my profile cauze i took it a few years ago! lol!

Luke
30 Aug 2007 16:28

Hey tizoz - you look timeless bra. You can take that pic in 10 years again and you'll still look the same, I reckon.

The difference between you and the dating thing is that a person's appearance is important to you when you're dating, so if they misrepresent what they really look like they might turn out to be someone you don't find that attractive.

I think it's dishonest, and if someone is lying to you before they've even met you, what chance will your relationship have?

A pic on a public website profile is very different, however.

tizoz
30 Aug 2007 16:42

Hey tizoz - you look "timeless" bra. You can take that pic in 10 years again and you'll still look the sameI reckon huh!

anyway my point with this is the way these things are sold everyone creates this sexy hott profile that is guaranteed to rake in millions of followers. my question is if you cant do it on ure own what are you hoping to achieve by selling ureself that high?

Flo-Jo
30 Aug 2007 16:46

nice one, but at the same time one might argue that with life gettin faster n faster cyberspace might end up being the only way...that's true hey.
I asked the guyz i was chatting to online as to Y internet dating...their answers were "we dont live in the stone age anymo"

Bra Bizza
30 Aug 2007 16:54

my question is if you cant do it on ure own what are you hoping to achieve by selling ureself that high?......i agree

I asked the guyz i was chatting to online as to Y internet dating...their answers were "we dont live in the stone age anymo".....my worry is these things start small.its cyberdating next it will be cybersex and next due to hectic lives we live its cyberweddings.....sounds crazy but with the way we goin on possibilities are endless.....ke laka leo!!

tizoz
30 Aug 2007 16:59

cyber weddings alredi happening! lol!

Bra Bizza
30 Aug 2007 17:04

cyber weddings alredi happening!.....AMEN

Annonymous
31 Aug 2007 00:09

Nice topic there Tizoz. One of my collegues met her hubby through internet dating. They clicked instantly & they even have a child together. But to me that is just one of the few best case senarios, in most instances it turns out be an ugly experience. I personally believe that it is just plain desperate to resort to such measures to find a partner. Why vele do people have to go through such lengths? I believe that meeting a partner should happen naturally and u don't have to market urself on the internet coz u just might find some L'vovo, but he will present hiimself as Vin Diesel. Then u realise that u have create such a hype over sum loosser when u could've just let things happen naturally with no false impressions!

babyjoe
31 Aug 2007 01:21

i must say i am impressed. to answer your questions about whether things work out. yes they do to some extent. I know a lot of people through the internet. Some of my friends are married and they met online. I also had a relationship with someone i met on the net for close to 2 years but things didn't work out. I don't have regrets and it was great while it lasted.

Its not about being desperate but not having the time to go out there and find someone. I didn't have time to go out cos i was busy with my studies and then work. The internet is the only friend or place where you can hook up with people fast and anonymously. It is the same as meeting people face to face and its benefit is that you get to know them better cos you start as friends and say all the stupiest things and your wildest dreams.

I think its so much better than meeting a brother/sister face to face and they pretend until after you are married and they show you their true colours.

Dimago
31 Aug 2007 01:21

Hey Tizoz, interesting topic. I've subscribed to an internet dating site, cause i thought, argh you never know where you might meet the "one" Anyhoo, i got a lot of hits on my profile, but i never had the guts to exchange pics or meet any of them.

babyjoe
31 Aug 2007 01:26

Out of all the Guys i met on the net i dated one and our first date was great, we met at Eastgate mall and had a blast. the second guy i met him in johanesburg city and we also had the time of our lives with his friends and we are still friends and not dating. the third guy i came to Cape Town for the @ oceans marathon and i met him with his friend at Canal Walk and we also had a great time but we are no longer friends (its complicated). The fourth guy i saw him about 2 weeks back but we have been communicating since 2005, infact i started chatting to them in 2005 and i don't have regrets and it wasn't desperation but seking friendship

KeleFabulous
31 Aug 2007 01:37

yhoo BJ u've been busy. me thinks u can give those interested in this thing a few tips. i've neva had that experience and not sure if i would go there...but i htink if both parties are honest with each other from the start then it has every chance of succeeding

Zhico
31 Aug 2007 01:59

nice one..mna I was also hooked to this for some time...couldnt even concentrate on my studies...then I eventually got attached to some1 and in the long run decided to exchange no's really stupid of me and his voice was to die for he sounded so sexy and we decided to meet where I stayed which is very public without exchanging photos..he arrived with his car...iBenz Kompressor and I thought wow and the guy in the car was so short and I'm very tall and not so good-looking..then I thought WTH...I pretended nothing was wrong and went on a date with him...the guy owned 3 successful businesses ...a town house...
Bt he was very bullying and I thought no this is not for me and the financial gap was too big

belz
31 Aug 2007 01:59

Great topic tizoz, i have to agree with Luke, this things work in two ways, it either works for you or it simply doesn't. I've met 2 guys from the internet, the 1st one was an Lvovo but he was a nice person, we went out for drinks and that was it, he was just not my definition of a boyfriend, and the other one, ubephethwe yikundweba nje, so hayi, i decided i'll neva do this nonsense again. It does work for other people though.

Gugs
31 Aug 2007 02:00

Babyj yoh gurl I salute you. Mina I have never dreamt of doing it it just plain freaky. I have a friend who is obsesed with mixit from the way she handles her self when she is chating to this people it so over the top, normaly she is a shy person but whenever she is on line she has this persona that she potrays which it not really her so I wonder how many people are pretending to be things there are not while doing it.

Lady D
31 Aug 2007 02:10

Guys i have done it and i need to tell you 'IT SUCKS',I onced made arrangements to meet with someone at a shopping mall,he told me what he was wearing but i lied about my attire,then i noticed him(i took my friend along)Iyo,ka siana go sena motho o a ntebetseng(i ran for my life)and this happened twice bathong,!the third one atleats we had a bit of a relationship for six months,but i just could not trust him,he came with soooo much baggage,i decided to call it quits.All i wanted was to have a bit of fun mara yena he was already talking marriage,i was like'dude whats the rush'even today i really dont know gore why was he in such a hurry.

Guys these people have serious issues,even my friend met quite freaky people on the net.To tell you the honest truth,cyber chatting is soo much fun,as long as we can just keep it on the net,cause the meeting part,is such a wack .
If you a re going to it,it better be for fun!!!!People are f@@#%d uo out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tizoz
31 Aug 2007 02:20

All i wanted was to have a bit of fun mara yena he was already talking marriage,i was like'dude whats the rush'even today i really dont know gore why was he in such a hurry

yeah why do most online daters like mnarrriage so much I would also think if you meet a person like this it is just for fun cause u really dont know this person and their b/g fair enough you will get to know each other but if they want you they will give you xactly what you want. one might argue and say it's the same with the conventional dating though

Tinyiko
31 Aug 2007 02:21

I don't believe in this.I want a person 99.You can't luv sb you don't know. There must be some connection.It's better to hookup with a fellow blogger.

belz
31 Aug 2007 02:24

tizoz i also had an experience with somebody i met on the phone, can i talk about it or is it just net kuphela?

KeleFabulous
31 Aug 2007 02:40

personally i think it's too risky...chatting to someone u don't know, whether by phone or internet or whatever...is different from chatting to someone u know. phela it's like here...u guys may have seen my pic but u don't personally know me. i therefore have the advantage of being free and saying things i normally wouldn't say around people very close to me...it's like letting go of the consciously suppressed self of u...i hope u understand where i'm going with this. that's y nna i'd neva do it. i'd let go and then become the quiet shy person i am on a normal day to day basis...

Toxic
31 Aug 2007 02:52

interesting topic tizoz......i have never internet dated cause it hasn't appealed to me yet but i also know of a couple that met on the net are married with kids-living the proverbial happily ever life.

I understand how people can do it cause of the hectic lifestyle we live in and who's to say the friends you meet on tvsa don't turn out to be your soul-mates he he he

tizoz
31 Aug 2007 04:14

yeah belaz share the details

Lex
31 Aug 2007 04:30

@ tizoz:yeah why do most online daters like mnarrriage so much
u might find that those people have tried dating the 'normal' way if I may put it like that,but it just never worked out for them,hence them taking the internet route. And yes there are success stories from internet dating,it's just like everything:one man's poison is another's medicine.

Xhosa Chick
31 Aug 2007 04:37

Ive never dated online. But my neighbour has. Well, kind of. She met this guy from the U.K called Kirby online. (the name "Kirby" should've made her stop dead in her tracks, but hey!)

So they would chat everyday online, occasional phonecalls, sending photos etc. Last month, the guy said he wants to come to Cape Town to visit her. They decided on the dates, and that he'd be accomodated at her place for his 3 week stay. She took leave from work for the dates of his first 2 weeks here.

Day of arrival: She picked him up at the airport. The guy was sooo thin, and was just not the same as in his photos. He's such a nerd! A know-it-all nerd! He's always boasting about his designer-wear, kodwa he's been wearing the same black track bottoms (up-maqatha) as the day he arrived.

He's so untidy, and hardly showers, and is a complete bore (I know coz I go to my neighbour's flat almost everyday to relieve her, shame). He is due to go back home next week Wednesday, and my neighbour cant wait!

Her friends dont visit her anymore coz they dont want to see Kirby, and hear his inappropriate questions like, "How much do you earn?" PLUS he says he doesnt wanna leave next week. He wants to stay here, at HER HOUSE forever and ever!

tizoz
31 Aug 2007 13:25

LOL - He wants to stay here, at HER HOUSE forever and ever! You made this up wena!

Brown Shuga
31 Aug 2007 13:47

Yeah, Tizoz, interesting topic indeed.
I've never done it as such but I've met so many wonderful people online (TVSA) and they are now the closest of friends.

Xhosa Chick, that story's ending is definitely a XC remix....

Flo-Jo
31 Aug 2007 14:20

Its not about being desperate but not having the time to go out there and find someone. I didn't have time to go out cos i was busy with my studies and then work. The internet is the only friend or place where you can hook up with people fast and anonymously. It is the same as meeting people face to face and its benefit is that you get to know them better cos you start as friends and say all the stupiest things and your wildest dreams.

My sentis babyjoe

Flo-Jo
31 Aug 2007 14:36

@ tizoz:yeah why do most online daters like mnarrriage so much
The 1 I agreed to meet was telling me bout a two week holiday in Dubai.....gaaaaaaaaaad!!! We dont even know 1 another n here he is talking bout holiday olredy!!! Methinks they r trying too hard to impress n say the things they think we women wanna hear!!!

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