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Ever Been SO DRUNK that...

Written by GQ from the blog GQ Enquiry on 28 Aug 2007
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Yah neh I know a lot of people who'd have endless stories to tell about those times of utter slosh. Y do we even do it to ourselves? Well we do & I just thought I'd share some of my moments of slosh coz some are too crazee not to share while others might be overshare-kodwa ke u decide.

Ever been SO DRUNK THAT...
-You slept in the bath tub coz the thought of running back and forth to the bathroom seemed utterly impractical and the only logical solution was to camp right next to toilet bowl. Even worse you've been so drunk that you've decided to sleep in your puke...Vele don't deny it I know you have. Please for those that are actually considering doing this-piece of advise don't coz you'll wake up smelling like an alley cat that feeds on alley trash.
-You stopped at a traffic light and got out the car (passenger side) coz u cant possibly be driving under the influence and started dancing to that Amantombazane song...!
-You woke up wondering why there's that funny smell in your room and your breath is so unbearable that u look around you to make sure that there isn't someone else in the room with you. You realise that that smell is coming from you and you'd better take a quick shower and clean up coz mommy dearest is coming over for Sunday lunch....AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
- You left your overly trashed friends and went into the club alone and joined a group of familiar faces you wouldnt be caught dead with under sober circumstances and started making out with that CLister Schleb who's been eyeing u all night. Yeah u know he's a CLister and you know that if you weren't so pissed u wouldn't look at him twice let alone kiss him. Even worse Mr Clister decides you've become a couple and drags u along everytime he goes to a bar and wants to follow you home. U let him know that he was only a Club Fix and nothing more but he insists there's something there and follows u home...U lock all your doors and tell your 'not so drunk anymore' friends to keep him away from u. Mmmm
- You mistook the kitchen for the bathroom and the kitchen sink for the basin & vomayed right there...Shameful.

So come on people share your most memorable and immemorable moments of drunken stupor. Now that I think about it I know a lot of stories like these and have been the main character in most of them. How about U?????

PS: YOU've considered AA but thought about how much fun it all is that atleast u still manage to get to work on time-sometimes and no one's been hurt as a result of your actions-ATLEAST U THINK SO

70 Comments

pat
28 Aug 2007 04:44

angiphuzi mina GQ

azHOT
28 Aug 2007 04:50

its taken all my willpower to stop. i caused one too many embaressments. the last time i fell asleep in the toilet at the casino and locked myself in. they had to use a megaphone and intercom to wake me. isht! boyfriend wasn't happy at all.

monchooza
28 Aug 2007 04:50

hmnnn, yah mina i have a loty of stories to tell. kodwa ke i dont want to be the first to spill my beans.

Foxy gal
28 Aug 2007 05:00

I don't drink alcohol........... Hawu where is belz i thot u'll be here already!!! hi hi hi

GQ
28 Aug 2007 05:08

Hayi bo khukuma Monchooza kanti y ufihla sonke we've had shameful moments some not so shameful kodwa

@Pat kanti manje y ungathi share istory somunye umuntu ke

@azHot it's ok kuzobaryt mina I've had my ask get his sister to go into the ladies toilets and knock on every door calling out my name. This happened at some snazzy launch so u can only imagine my embarassment...

Eish Alcohol is K**k somtyms

MADENZA
28 Aug 2007 05:09

When i was @ High School i used to take my girlfriend by force even if she didnt want(because i was taking her from anther guy). I used to fight with the dude every weekend when i was drunk.
Now i think what i was doing was rape but i never thought of that during that time(bopantsula).

zandii!!
28 Aug 2007 05:16

I HATE BEIN DRUNK AND END UP BEIN THE MOOMISH OF THE NYT!!!!!!!!

GQ
28 Aug 2007 05:20

@foxy g y usukela u Belz mara

KeleFabulous
28 Aug 2007 05:24

@ Mandeza...oreng??????

the only thing i do mina is serial kissing.

belz
28 Aug 2007 05:25

Hehehehe GQ.

Gugs
28 Aug 2007 05:26

Haaawii azHOT that hectict stuff.... LOL

Foxy gal
28 Aug 2007 05:30

NO GQ angimsukeli ubelz!!!!!! Can u c i reply yakhe????

@ belz are u gonna just sit there & laugh..... or u gona gooi some of your many experiences!!!!!! hi hi hi

GQ
28 Aug 2007 05:32

GQ
28 Aug 2007 05:37

K gal, sori i c the reply kodwa no juice there...

now i cant wait 4 ur response Belz izanazo

belz
28 Aug 2007 05:47

GQ: uyangisukela uFoxy (i knw your face now, ngizokuthola) mina ngizithandela iziphuzo qha, i've been in the game for so long nothing like that happens to me, hihihi. jokes this one time i got so drunk i puked on myself on the way to the bathroom, i was wearing a white jersey, it was a first date with this other guy, you guys knw yu cant exactly tell a first date tht you puked all over yoself, i went to the bathroom slept for 30min and later went down, told the guy tht a stupid drunk gal puked on me, i told him there is no need to worry i've sorted out the gal, she even offered to wash my jersey, and he bought it, yho embarassment.

Zhico
28 Aug 2007 05:50

GQ do you mean to shy you hv done all that???
I hv some of my own stories...and I'm not too happy abt them either

MamaOmpha
28 Aug 2007 05:56

Mina guys im quite by nature ne. Mara once the ciders get's into my blood stream i become a etv new reader. I can't seem to stop talking. My boyfriend has banned me from drinking when Im with him at parties because he says I embarass him because I sometimes start talking about our sex life

GQ
28 Aug 2007 06:02

@Zhico lets just say I've done most of it & some of it I've witnessed. How's that for a diplomatic reply? hahaha

By the way Zhico haven't u???????? do tell

@Belz gal there's absolutely nothing wrong with a fib here & there to cover your ass coz u happened to do the dispicable & get drunk in public & even worse on a first date. Kodwa gal nice comeback I should get in touch with u to get some tips on how to worm your way out of an embarassing alcohol induced moment of stupidity...:-)

monchooza
28 Aug 2007 06:05

my friend and i once went on a drinking drip to JOZI (we were 15) we got so drunk we forgot about time we also forgot ukuthi amateksi ayaphela. by the time we left that pozie where we were it was about 11pm. we were so scared and drunk we did not know what to do, so we called 10111 and told them we were lost and they came picked us up and once they saw ukuthi we were drunk they made fools of us by making us clean the police station @midnight until we were sober then in the morning they took us to the train station cause we had no money siyiphuze yonke. and there we had to beg for imali ye train ticket. thinking about it now makes me laugh but back then after it happened i hated going to JHB ngoba i had bad memories of that place

Foxy gal
28 Aug 2007 06:08

U c GQ, I wasn't sukeling her!!!..... Good 1 belz!!!!!!

Shadow
28 Aug 2007 06:09

I'm a careful drinker, i always limit my consumption whenever i go out. Honestly, i have neva been drunk and done weird things. I want to loose it one day, but i'm just scared of the embarassment coz of doing things that i'll forever regret. Forinstance ending up in bed with a looser....ewwwww.
However, i once pretended that i was drunk, but i was just trying to lure this other cute guy. Boy was i dissapointed, the dude just decided to take me home.

belz
28 Aug 2007 06:09

Monchy: tht should teach you to put imali yetaxi in your socks before you start drinking.

KeleFabulous
28 Aug 2007 06:10

haai haai monchoo...serves u right!

myname
28 Aug 2007 06:22

Eish im not 2 much bt me & my bf went 2 visit one of our freinds after they got married so they (guys) get drunk. So he is lyk KELEF he likes serial kissing even my mouth i feel like the following day its numb UYADUMBA. He is shy so the following we wake up and he asked mi "baby did i behave yesterday"? so i said "No u went to ask 4 condoms to ur freind's wife", He quiclky dress up en leave bcoz of that en i was joking

monchooza
28 Aug 2007 06:28

inxeba lendoda alihlekwa

Zhico
28 Aug 2007 06:29

hi hi hi @ monchooza..uthanda kab'ukonwaba

bt ke GQ I once did some of the above listed stuff...I had a blackout last semester & woke up in an owner of a club's house I was partying in luckily I was alone in the room and I had made a mess all over the bed and actually I realised that in the morning...and I never told the guy what I had done...anyway I was there to visit...so that was the last time I saw him

GQ
28 Aug 2007 06:34

The slosh never ends, this one time i was so out of it I saw this guy I had a crush on in Varsity and decided ukuthi i was gonna do what i should have done back in the day when I wasn't brave enough to. So ke after a few gulps of some strong potion I went up to him, took his hand and told him to follow me. Once we were outside I told him how I'd always had a crush on him and finally was gonna have my way with him. He just looked at me and obliged, I went in for the kiss (by the way this was a kiss I'd dreamt about for ions) needless to say the kiss was whack and so not worth it. As hot as the brotha was his kissing technique was not on point it left me feeling so cheated. How could this "demi god" have been so ungodlike in reality.

Eish he ended up sinking to the bottom of my hottness barometer, jah neh all that glitters isn't gold 4 sho.

belz
28 Aug 2007 06:40

Yho mabloggas, remind me not to invite you to any VIP parties, angifuni kuhlazeka mina!!!!

sedi
28 Aug 2007 06:41

<< inxeba lendoda alihlekwa>>> kwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa!!!!

owethu260
28 Aug 2007 06:46

me & my friends once went to this dodge club bayibiza ngetropicana e Jozi we were still @ high school then, excited uke wabona & i was so drunk & dancing (mind you angikwazi ukujaive) the next thing i remember i was sleeping on the dancefloor & this bouncer guy was waking me up& my friend were still dancing ,,,my top was wet my friend told that they tried to wake me up & bangithela ngecider ebusweni eishh ja it was hectic,,,,

ngwana
28 Aug 2007 06:49

I tend to tell people what i really think of them which is not always such a good thing cause the next day i have to look at them.
I get drunk so much that when i get home i have to put my face on the bathroom floor cause the tiles feel so cold.

And i go out every weekend. My boyfriend says i he thinks i have a drinking problem cause even if we just chilling at home on a saturday night i open a bottle of wine.
i dont think so doesnt everyont do that?

GQ
28 Aug 2007 07:00

@Belz mara y manje wenza ngathi wena awukaze waba nama moments phela not every1 has advanced to that stage sokuthi baphuze bangadakwi...wena wenzwa wukuthi une-experience so do share... S'Funukwazi khuluma gal.
As for amaVIP parties gal that's where the most slosh happens mos open bars tend to do that to most people & if u happen not to get sloshed there I know ukuthi the convoys lead to more drinking holes lapho people end up getting sloshed in anycase.
So VIP party or not the game never changes

Can I hear an Amen Baphulaphuli

nosi
28 Aug 2007 07:03

With me I'm still not over the embarassment, it happened in 2002 on graduation day, me and my friends we were gonna drink iwhisky for the first time. We stayed epub until the wee hours of the morning. There were about 6 of us we left and slept @ our friends room just imagine res. rooms. One of my friends went to the loo and left the door opened, caba my then boyfriend was looking for me kwicampus yonke and he found me in my frendz room. Well what happened after that I was told by him, he said that I took out iwaskom and I vomited into it and then I took of my panties and did uNo.2. Oh crap why did I tell you guys this

KeleFabulous
28 Aug 2007 07:05

no ngwana nothihng wrong with having a bit of bubbly. i know alot of people who keep some in the house and have some with supper etc

owethu260
28 Aug 2007 07:08

I took out iwaskom and I vomited into it and then I took of my panties and did uNo.2. Oh crap why did I tell you guys this-ubuphathekile sana ubuzakuthini hihihih and what happened to your boyfriend hihihi

nosi
28 Aug 2007 07:10

@ owethu206, shame he was understanding but he never wanted me to touch alcohol unless he was around

belz
28 Aug 2007 07:18

nosi: LMAO, sies maan.

nosi
28 Aug 2007 07:21

@ belz: eish sana I stll blush when I think about that day

monchooza
28 Aug 2007 07:22

i love the morning after the night before.....there is always something to say. mara ke i must say i am suprised and happy thatnone of you bloggers have phuzed and got laid mahala.

Gugs
28 Aug 2007 07:24

This is a bit disgusting but my cuzin a guy he is the type of person who drinks then aflore evryone knows nje. So it heppened that this one nite there was umsebenzi at home so all the guys were chilling in a tent at nite after sloughtering a cow so they were drinking beers Ingudu nogal so the crates were all over the place. My cuzin then as usall he fell asleep. So now when he wakes he goes straight to the nearest crate and does a very very wet number 2 and could see the look in his face that he was not aware where he was cos he looked so comfy in that crate only when he was trying to reach for a tissue that he realised that he had an audience..... until today we call him umabhosha he was so amberrassed the look in his face just priceless......

nosi
28 Aug 2007 07:28

@gugs: at least mine was dry and I had only 1 audience member hi hi hi

ngwana
28 Aug 2007 07:34

@ monchooza - you should know better, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Im sure it has happened to a lot of people.

Username
28 Aug 2007 07:40

I just had the sudden edge to vomit my lunch due to ur posts

monchooza
28 Aug 2007 07:55

ngwana i have a feeling it has happened to you........ but true ke ngoba nami it has happened to me. tell me you stori i will tell you mine

GQ
28 Aug 2007 07:59

So vele am I to conclude that those that have decided not to share their alcohol related stories are usually so drunk abakhumbuli what they've been up to the night before...mmmm

@Nosi-Hayi gal don't even know what to say to that takes the cup- hands down. SILLY!

@Username are u sho it's the responses that are giving u an urge to vomit or it's your lunch...what are u eating vele?Lol

Zhico
28 Aug 2007 07:59

@Ngwana U are difinitely rite abt that....who wants to first in spilling the dirty beans

mabhebheza
28 Aug 2007 08:00

ha ha ha ha!! Nosi & Gugs yini ngathi ninenyongo nje Y does booze make ur stomachs loose..? maar who am 2laugh i becoz mna i always fall asleep after a some shots ze Uncle Jack!! ngilalanoma ngimile as long as i can have a balance nyana n i hate that feeling of trying 2keep ur eyes open n its just so hard uvele eli one Eish!!!!!

Dimago
28 Aug 2007 08:05

I believe in doing everything in moderation...anyhow, i know someone who drank so much, he puked, fell asleep and was dead by the morning. Apparently he suffocated from his puke...watch out guys!

azHOT
28 Aug 2007 08:25

people, utshwala budala kunathi!

mabhebheza
28 Aug 2007 08:31

azHot Bundala nje futhi bune mpandla!!!!!!!!

GQ
28 Aug 2007 08:32

@Dimago thanx 4 being the voice of reason @least siyazi uukuthi who is always the designated driver wen u & ur friends go out...

BUT awushare ke manje GQ wants 2 know

KeleFabulous
28 Aug 2007 08:38

there r stories out there GQ...people just aren't willing to share...must be too embarassing!

i once got so drunk one night and as always was serial kissing this guy...i thot he was really hotttt! only problem he was short. didn't matter to me since i was wearing takkies and we were the same height. next thing i knew his friend was driving his car and they were going to pretoria! with me inside nogal! i sobered up a bit when irealised they both thot i was willing to go along and one/both of htem would get lucky. haai since then i've been very careful...but before then, again me and my serial kissing (eish!) me and my friends met up with out email buddies and as we were leaving hte party they asked for hugs. hugs that turned into kissing. my coz puked right after! i wished she had done so in front of them bastards. basically it's easy for people to take advantage of u when u drunk as even if u say no it doesn't come out convincing enough...so nna i learnt my lesson that night i almost ended up ko pta...

cnhlanhla
28 Aug 2007 08:47

fortunately for me I don't drink

GQ
28 Aug 2007 08:49

@KeleFabulous u aren't KFab for nothing u know how to share thanx gal and maybe abantu would prefer we do the sharing thing face to face?

Oh I forgot to mention that phela mina ngesemusha kulento so angazi noma niyahlangana yini?

Let me know about the hook ups and KFab maybe then we can spill the beans or better yet we can see stories evolving before our very eyes... Cant wait!

PS: It's a good thing u sobered up b4 u found urself behind the boerewors curtain (PTA).

Username
28 Aug 2007 08:56

@ GQ

Unfortunately it’s definitely the replies. They are too graphic with soft no.2 and the rest.

I have witnessed too many drunken events and one ended up in a video tape which is stashed somewhere under lock and key.

niconathi
28 Aug 2007 09:15

Me and my two good friends had a "before party" on the 15th of Dec last year. There were four girls and one of them had a thing for me so it already predicted that me and her are gonna get it on and happeng, by the time we all got drunk, I started making moves on her oh so qute couson, when the time of bedding came, girls were sleeping alone in the lounge and there I was with my drunk ass crying to sleep next to her beautiful black "African skin" of which I still dont have an idea what it is!

GQ
28 Aug 2007 09:30

@UserN kanti nawe uwu Paris in hiding (video tape & all) Ayeye :-)

@NicoN mara why yeh???? Too bad u ended up ulale ngamadolo. Lol :-)

Username
28 Aug 2007 09:37

@GQ

hahahaha. get your mind out of the gutter. its not a sex tape but more like evidence that could get the Minister of Education to chatter a helicopter to a certain school and fire people.

nonkez
28 Aug 2007 09:45

was so drunk last sat that i didnt realise who i am. all i can say now is i cant wait for the metro awards.

GQ
28 Aug 2007 10:10

Nonkez uzilibala njani? As 4 the metro's sodibana pha...

lejazz
28 Aug 2007 10:51

During winter holidays I was drunk and the next morning I was feeling dizzy 'cos I drank with an empty stomach.So now I am reluctant to drink beer.But I am going to drink on DECEMBER.nOW WHEN I see people drinking I feel like vomiting.

Beyonce
28 Aug 2007 12:43

SHM- Shaking My Head

Beyonce
28 Aug 2007 12:46

SMH

Black Sambuca
28 Aug 2007 13:09

this one time I woke up in a back of a police van, apparently I fell asleep on the side of the road on my way back home...they took me to a holding cell 6 hours...but that was long time ago…on another note…do you guys remember a story on a chap who woke up with a condom on this a$$ after a heavy nyt of drinking with the boys….crazy ish nee?? So you not safe with the “boys”

Toodecent
29 Aug 2007 01:51

Its always fun and refreshing to read kelefabulous..replies... girl you are a true mzansi woman...u have done it all neh? hi hi hi hi!

GQ
29 Aug 2007 09:38

@TDC did u post that pic for this article? Gross but fitting

Annonymous
29 Aug 2007 09:46

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm interesting experiences esp. Kele, I don't drink & some of these replies are driving me there!!!

Toodecent
30 Aug 2007 02:28

GQ...I didnt the author did.

Amazing
30 Aug 2007 03:00

This was the 16 Dec last year. My friend and I were at a party in Tembisa. We drank whisky and got so sloshed we were dancing on the table tops. But then we got bored coz people were just staring and not joining us, so my friend decided to call her boyfriend to come and fetch us, which he did. He rocked up with a friend of his and we went to this nice house in Fourways. THere was a MEGAWAtt party there. There were a lot of HOT tswana boys. By then we were so tired we decided to sleep. So my friends boyfriend took up stairs to sleep and we asked for the bedroom key because we didn't want any problems. A few minutes later he rocks up and knocks on the door, needless to say we open the door for him. Next thing I know they are all over each other and the other guy who was in the car with him is trying to get with me. I felt his toungue literally down my throat and he started ripping my top off. I felt like vomitting so bad. He broke my zip because it couldn't open. BUt I told him to take a hike but he wouldn't listen so I walked out of the room trying my utmost to cover up my boobs. WHen I looked back he was behind me so ran I ran out. By this time he was chasing me and people were asking questions. I was so embrsd when this other girl offered me her top and some coffee and she sat in a corner with me. I became instantly sober and I was crying and I wanted to go home. HOme was Midrand and no one was willing to leave the party. So I had to wait for my friend and her man to finish their business before he could take me home with HIS friend in tow.

GQ
05 Sep 2007 03:57

@TDC ndoda i'm the author so how could i have put up a pic i know nothing about. Either way how the hell can I change it ke?

@Amazing: Gal damn talk about getting drunk & sobering up pronto. sorry about that, that guy's a loser & take it from me next time (if there'll b a next tym) pls make a pact with ur friend to always have each others back especially when you've been drinking. Can't afford to have men going psycho like that on u.

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