EPISODE NINECan you believe it? It’s almost too insane to be true but also too crazy not to be!
Despite the horrors of Satan’s Weaver spawn guzzling down McDonalds and getting to stay I was screaming with laughter when they were saved because I didn’t have one clue whether it was gonna be an elimination or not and coming after the chaos of the episode it was too much.
It was the funnest episode of the season by far – from the Weavers intense suffering on those bikes in the Utah desert to their being yielded by the excellently,
amazing Linz’s, to everyone looking so ridiculous jumping off that Olympic ski thing to the Weavers cacooning themselves up in their caravan of loserdom with no friends.
The fun and games began as teams left the Grand Canyon for Mormon Country, Utah after getting themselves hooked up with caravans. Once in Utah they had to choose two members of their clan to helicopter to the top of a kickbutt rock thing to collect their first clue which instructed them to head off to somewhere to do their Detour.
I didn’t hear where they were supposed to go because I was too busy being confused about whether or not the Linz’s had to wait for the Bransens to catch up before they could go in the helicopter. Luckily it turned out they didn’t and within moments they had their clue and were outtta there, hot on the heels of the Weavers who drove at 50.
Rebecca Weaver usually drives with gusto but from then already she seemed defeated. Not that I was unhappy about it, but it was interesting that she’d lost her will by then. What was also interesting was the huge issues the Godlewski’s faced with Chris. There’s always been tension with her and them being together so incessantly for so long obviously pushed it to a point of no return.
As far as I can see her excessive and constant screaming and pushiness comes from her panic - she’s been getting more uptight the more successful they are. She keeps shooting them in the foot when they’ve got a lead - like when she was being so pathetic directing them to turn around instead of insisting that they drive over the gravel as well as her hysterical bum-trip on the rock when they were ahead of the Bransens repelling during the Detour.
Even though the biking was a quicker procedure generally because of not needing all that harnassing stuff I would have chosen to repel too. You get too hot and dusty biking plus I’d lurve nothing more than to repel down and kick my feet against the rock so that I swung out and then back again bouncing all the way down.
The moment Phil said what the Detour was I was convinced Wuss Bransen was gonna make a crybaby fuss about preferring the bikes and I was pleasantly surprised when he gave in to doing it so easily.
Something fundamental’s changed with him hasn’t it? He’s still a whining girlie but he did face his fears and it paid off for them.
Once the Detour was over everyone headed off to a caravan park where they spent the evening, leaving at different times the next morning according to when they’d arrived the day before. The Linz’s left first, the Weavers left last and they raced to Little Sweden Road where they were given their clues by the star of episode – Bart the faboo bear.
He was incredible espesh ‘cos of how Brad Pitt’s mug has morphed into his features after him being Brad’s alter ego in Legends Of The Fall. I actually saw a documentary about him (both Bart and Brad) about a year ago and if I recall correctly he’s actually Bart II, son of the original Bart who starred in the movie.
The trainer who was with him decided to go into the movies in order to do conservation type work amongst bears and Bart’s salary for the film was used to do important stuff with this. I can’t remember what it is was but I know it was very sweet that Bart’s acting has helped his kin in groovy ways.
The racers response to him was purfect - clearly they felt as delighted as we would if we suddenly met him. His clue sent them to their final mission which was jump an Olympic ski snazzy into a pool - I‘ve never seen that sport in my life and I love it. Those training instructors are so gimme-gimme it has to be the best fun ever – espesh with them making sultry passes from behind their sexy sunglasses.
The only thing that troubled me with it is what you do with your feet when you jump. All of their bodies stressed out about it which is what made their jumps so funny as they flung their feet up and then had no control over how they landed.
The cherry on top of it was imagining the Weavers needing to do before they actually arrived to face the Yield. Hee. I was gonna say I had just a smidgen of sympathy for them as they dregged in last at the end, depressed and relieved they were defeated but that would be a lie ‘cos I wasn’t. Instead I was irritated with Phil when he didn’t rub in the fact that they didn't get dressed in extra stuff so they’ve got zilch provisions for next week.
I was thrilled for the Linz’s that they won. Yay! Eventually. Have you noticed how they’ve never ever gotten a high five wrong? Not once have they missed each others hands or started one when someone else hasn’t, which says a lot about them. Seeing them refusing to apologise to the Weavers next week is gonna be sooper and I just hope that the show isn’t gonna get even more cruel by saving the Weavers for a better finish.
I have a very nasty inkling that Phil’s gonna slip them some bucks without us knowing so he can put us through the trauma of needing to put with up with them in the finale. He's become so yawny recently that it's something he'd defs do.
If there is a God – pleease no!
PS: How pathetic is that we all know that Utah is Mormon land and the Weavers don’t know this about their own country.
PPS: I see the
Weavers have a rating of 20 on their TVSA page. If you think it's too high I'd highly recommend rating them down right now:
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