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The Makings of a Bastard(MAN)

Written by faraimagic from the blog CELEB SPY on 19 Jun 2008
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Until the next man comes along saying "Hey beutiful can i buy you a drink?" keep saying the THERAPEUTIC  word BASTARD<BASTARD<BASTARD till its out of you system.....Really women do think men are Bastards!

GIRLS,Men are vry much aware of the fact that women have moved light years from there mothers and are quite capable of Viper-ish viscousness Which would make 101 DALMATIAN'S  CRUELLA de VILLE seem like a tooth fairy.

We Man also get nervous when you women choose to resolve problems in the Bedroom_WHY MARA?  I ASK?

There is quite different types of Bastards(MAN)..here are some that i have gathered for you to compare.

(1)THE SENSITIVE SOUL TYPE

-this guy is the sensetive,Caring,Wounded type,who women will find Skulking around Town,Location,North,South,East and West,The Gym,The Bar,The Club...Irrespective of where they come from and what he does......
-This type of guys have one thing in common_____-THEY ARE CON ARTISTS SUPREME
-He will convince you that he loves you and when you begin to doubt or question that,he will pull the "SNOT eN Trane" routine
-then he will tell you how afraid he is of getting Hurt and Used...
-women wised up to this perfomance,but still find it difficult to turn away the one who pleads being wounded.....by another women.
-this type turns to work most of the times!...i mean ,Women just cant stand it when a sister hurts a man.
She steps in to heal him,she has to prove to him that she can save him and show the other women how it must be done...
well TO MANY OF YOU WOMEN WHO HAVE EXPIRIENCED THIS SNAKY KIND...you will know that much more healing is required for you once the Bastard decides to take off the bandages and move on....
Advice------Dont give a f@#k who hurts his Black a$$ or why they hurt him,becoz the Bastsrd is going to hurt you instead or anyway!

(2)The Bachelor Flat Type
-this guy is a women's designer devil in disguise and the Bastsrd to be feard..the D&G,Armani,Prada,The Gavin Rajah,Enzo Munari,Ephraim-Clad smoothie is DENGEROUS.....becoz HE WILL NEVER ALLOW YOU A FOOT in the door if there isnt a agenda which STARTS at the COFFEE table and ends up in His BEDROOM..
-this bastard doesn't change his cell digits or loose it,he always do sim swop-----------his phone is never off scared he will lose contact.instead he puts the damn phone on silent then leaves it for the voice mail service to do the answering for him.
Genarally mummy's boy------wants to get married and settle down soooome day...
how evermarriege and children are two different things,he makes better father than husband
-he will try to CON you with the LOBOLA SPEECH but his ethnic roots only extend as far as the drop suspension on his VR6.

(3)The Liberated Bastard(GADGET BOY)
he is a bit complicated to deal with-Obsessed with ,Ipods,Computers,PHONES,DVD"S feels rather intimidated by women
He manufacters the art of being completely comfortable and open in their presence
-Agrees with most of the critisms you have about men
-he enjoys the attention but cant actually cope with the Discovey that women are POWERFUL,LUSTING,NEEDING,THINKING,TALKING,Human beings just like he is!
Despite his new found openness,the Bastard still find it uncomfortable when informed women do FART and yes they do bleed out of there Vaginas!
The Marriege issue terrifies him the most
He tells you that he loves kids and TRY to IMPRESS YOU by inviting you along on a visit to the ZOO with his little NIECES and NEPHEWS...but watch his TRUE colours emerge when his girl friend tell him thet she might be pregnant....

(4)The Die Hard Conservative
Hip HOP flops when it comes to dressing,seeks adventure by wearing RED underwear!
he knows almost everything there is to know..so dont be surprised if he wants to iron the condom first..he he he he LOL....
The younger one still very optimistic,he goes out in search of a virgin bride----in 2008 hah!Might Be aware of how to please a woman Sexually but too selfish to act upon it.
The married ones cherish their children and see their wives as the nurture and themselves as the provide and source of all knowledge and power vested.

(5)The Camel Man
This one accepts that women are no longer asking for equality,they are just doing what they have to do.
-Very small percentage...Feels very uncomfortable when sex is not a sure thing and often still view the womenas their conquest...This CAMEL----EON has many internal barriers and before long he is going to resort toMALE GROUP THERAPY..
True to his adventurous Streak,he gets turned on by  BISEXUAL WOMEN,and woud love to watch while you make love to your female lover!
He wears clothes to accentuate his body,but Ironically these clothes resemble WOMENSWEAR.

Its really frightening to think that men are so environmentally unfriendly that the onl way women might be able to redeem us is by CONSTANTLY have us RECYCLED!

Bottom line is.....Irrespective of how much women bitch about MAN....They CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT US,be their Fathers,Brothers,Sons,Husbands or Lovers...We Men are Beautiful and INTRIGUING!
Women must just live with it and accept the fact....YOU ARE WOMEN and NOT MEN!






80 Comments

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 07:57

Dr Phil who?

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 08:19

woemn want men to be open and then they go crazy wen you compliment them for having great tits or a firm behind.they insist that they beliv in openness,but when you see other women on the side its a crisis...when things do blow up in your face.....its not so serious because you end up with one of them anyway,then while one's calling you a Bastard,the two of them are calling each other BITCH.....see wat i mean Bastards

Cande
19 Jun 2008 08:25

Iyhoo Farai this is a moythful..
Let me go back to read

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 08:26

if man are Bastards then wat is women?

Toxic
19 Jun 2008 08:28

WOW farai!!!!! just had to say that...still reading!

Toxic
19 Jun 2008 08:31

LOL @moythful....

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 08:34

moythful....he he he zabalaza lingoz up in here!LMAO

Toxic
19 Jun 2008 08:35

She steps in to heal him,she has to prove to him that she can save him and show the other women how it must be done...
well TO MANY OF YOU WOMEN WHO HAVE EXPIRIENCED THIS SNAKY KIND...you will know that much more healing is required for you once the Bastard decides to take off the bandages and move on....
Advice------Dont give a f@#k who hurts his Black a$$ or why they hurt him,becoz the Bastsrd is going to hurt you instead or anyway! 

Love this piece of advice. Thanks man!

Nonny
19 Jun 2008 08:37

What did u say Fara, u said u men are beautiful........kwa kwa kwa.....ok we hear u Mr Beautiful........LOL

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 08:37

Nonny is this Hot enuf...you challenged me for a topic...there it is my frendo!,familia!

Toodecent
19 Jun 2008 08:38

if man are Bastards then wat is women?>>..Mustards !!

LM
19 Jun 2008 08:38

THE SENSITIVE SOUL TYPE

-this guy is the sensetive,Caring,Wounded type,who women will find Skulking around Town,Location,North,South,East and West,The Gym,The Bar,The Club...Irrespective of where they come from and what he does......
-This type of guys have one thing in common_____-THEY ARE CON ARTISTS SUPREME
-He will convince you that he loves you and when you begin to doubt or question that,he will pull the "SNOT eN Trane" routine
-then he will tell you how afraid he is of getting Hurt and Used...
-women wised up to this perfomance,but still find it difficult to turn away the one who pleads being wounded.....by another women.
-this type turns to work most of the times!...i mean ,Women just cant stand it when a sister hurts a man.
She steps in to heal him,she has to prove to him that she can save him and show the other women how it must be done...
well TO MANY OF YOU WOMEN WHO HAVE EXPIRIENCED THIS SNAKY KIND...you will know that much more healing is required for you once the Bastard decides to take off the bandages and move on....
Advice------Dont give a f@#k who hurts his Black a$$ or why they hurt him,becoz the Bastsrd is going to hurt you instead or anyway! 

He he he he Fara, this type got me once if not more...haaii

Hip HOP flops when it comes to dressing,seeks adventure by wearing RED underwear!
he knows almost everything there is to know..so dont be surprised if he wants to iron the condom first..he he he he LOL....
The younger one still very optimistic,he goes out in search of a virgin bride----in 2008 hah!Might Be aware of how to please a woman Sexually but too selfish to act upon it. 

ROTFLMBAO

Toxic
19 Jun 2008 08:38

We Man also get nervous when you women choose to resolve problems in the Bedroom_WHY MARA? I ASK? 

Before i comment on this what do u mean? Cause there are other ways of resolving problems in the bedroom LOL! I hate a man wanting to solve relationship issues just before we get under covers.....come to think of it, i hate a man that's a talker tjeeeer!

Toxic
19 Jun 2008 08:41

so dont be surprised if he wants to iron the condom first..he he he he LOL.... 

kwa kwa kwa!!

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 08:42

LOL@ Nonny    i ment the Heart not looks...and Im not Mr Beautiful

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 08:45

Mustards ha ha ha ha Grrrrr!

carino
19 Jun 2008 08:45

I just browsed through.... So, Magic, which type are you??

Im going back to read... I must say.... it's good to have some male opinion in this place...

Toxic
19 Jun 2008 08:46

The younger one still very optimistic,he goes out in search of a virgin bride----in 2008 hah

LOLOLOL!!!!

Nonny
19 Jun 2008 08:46

"Nonny is this Hot enuf...you challenged me for a topic...there it is my frendo!,familia!"
This is sizzling Fara, glad u have finally discovered the uniqueness u have within.

Hlehle
19 Jun 2008 08:47

Sorry farai  i cant read this, my eyes are too tired to read sumthing that is so colourful like this. No offence, comment tommorow though.

Toxic
19 Jun 2008 08:48

Phew, so which male is the right one? one without all these issues??????

awelani
19 Jun 2008 09:03

Everything about this type of man is making LMBAO, "The Die Hard Conservative"

so dont be surprised if he wants to iron the condom first
.....tltltltltl tltl, is there anybadi dat stupid, hihihihihihi
@Tox: i hate a man that's a talker tjeeeer!, then u'll luv my man, he knows he's not suppose to tok 2 me when um watching my fav shows....LOL.

BTW, Nice 1 Mr Magic man.

Cnglemother
19 Jun 2008 09:05

Oh Fara i am so off men for now, i dont even wanna confuse myself trying to figure out what's what? you guys are complicated. I love the humor element on the descriptions. which are you Fara? the one that irons condoms?

tha - bang
19 Jun 2008 09:07

so basically if you follow fara's logic all men are bastards and women are ho's yada yada yada. why ru determined to take us back to the stone age of male - female relation instead of forward.eish ke enough, plus the colour aint nice on the eyes.

awelani
19 Jun 2008 09:17

@Cnglma:Oh Fara i am so off men for now, How sisi, se um'enzeni u Mageba manje?? Hini, wasnt he "taking care" of u lyk he used 2?? LOL.

KeleFabulous
19 Jun 2008 09:21

He wears clothes to accentuate his body,but Ironically these clothes resemble WOMENSWEAR. 


kwa kwa kwa kwa!!!

nice one farai. but i must say my eyes and brain hurt from this bombardment at this time of the day...too much!

Cnglemother
19 Jun 2008 09:23

Awesto lets not go there on Fara's blog pls.

monchooza
19 Jun 2008 09:24

I guess i am Number 2...LOL

mabhebheza
19 Jun 2008 09:30

Ishushu i Bisto ..Thumbs up Farai Nice 1 & indeed Mouthful!!
My comments ....
Titi pote...!!

carino
19 Jun 2008 09:38

Hello Monchyyyyy... /////waving like a lunatic////////

Onna
19 Jun 2008 09:40

Farai you did not describe every man here.  I  KNOW  there  are  good  men  out  there.

carino
19 Jun 2008 09:44

Only finished reading this now.... OMG....my recent ex was definitel a Number one.... everything .......


faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 09:48

singlemum   well i am still finding myself...he he he he so i dont know which type i belong to!

faraimagic
19 Jun 2008 09:51

and you guys shud stop lies saying that you are off man...OMG.....then wat are you doing,i beliv you cant liv only on vibraters and make up!

wait till a hot man comes your way then you will be singing a different tune...his tune!

Sbosh
19 Jun 2008 10:03

The nasty FACT is that, women hurt each other much more than any bastard MAN will ever do, ask about their stories you'd be shocked at what they conjure up !!!!

Honeypot
19 Jun 2008 10:19

I must say my man is the Gadget Boy( -Agrees with most of the critisms you have about men) .
Sometimes I think he is heaven sent to be so attentive when I talk how stupid some men can be. Yet the down side is my biggest competition: digital cameras, ipods and his lates cellphone which can do just about anything under the sun.
Sigh!!! I am with a bastard 2!!!!

Lady D
19 Jun 2008 12:24

The nasty FACT is that, women hurt each other much more than any bastard MAN will ever do, ask about their stories you'd be shocked at what they conjure up !!!!

I totally,completely and absolutely agree with you there!!!

Great aricles Fara,just can't say much about men at the moment!

love-ness
19 Jun 2008 13:08

love the article Fara

i think at some point iv met al the above men *tear drop* hai bophelo,and thats the exact reason y id rather live with them that 2 love them,4 now that is

Firstdvd
19 Jun 2008 15:23

Luv da last line FARA!

Renegade
20 Jun 2008 01:30

Despite his new found openness,the Bastard still find it uncomfortable when informed women do FART and yes they do bleed out of there Vaginas

seeks adventure by wearing RED underwear! 

Ok, those two comments killed me. But you forgot "The good guy", the one that we are all searching for. Because none of those you described there are what we want, surely. Or are you saying, there is no such thing as "THE GOOD GUY"...horror of all horros Farai!

awelani
20 Jun 2008 01:42

Sure Cnglema, i'll be visiting ur GB soon, vele mina ngi thanda u'mgosi...LOL.

Askies Farai.

carino
20 Jun 2008 02:41

She steps in to heal him,she has to prove to him that she can save him and show the other women how it must be done...
well TO MANY OF YOU WOMEN WHO HAVE EXPIRIENCED THIS SNAKY KIND...you will know that much more healing is required for you once the Bastard decides to take off the bandages and move on....
Advice------Dont give a f@#k who hurts his Black a$$ or why they hurt him,becoz the Bastsrd is going to hurt you instead or anyway!
 

Good, one, Magic.... Believe me, I've learnt my lesson... Never Ever...

Next time i meet a number one... I'm gon take my Halls... No mere voet-voet nonsense.... Voetsek!!!!!

carino
20 Jun 2008 02:42

No more

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 05:19

they were never good man...but a women makes a man!

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 05:20

they were never good man...but a women makes a good man!

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 05:24

No more voet-voet nonsense Voestek!

LMAO!

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 05:32

Most of the time the good guy is the number 2....coz my understanding is women consider the guy hwho wears designer clothes A MAN...A REAL MAN!

The reality is ,these days Women have favourate colours which are........

PLATINUM and GOLD!
   lets face it!

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 06:09

Women tell your Kind, Pliz? and be Honest!

carino
20 Jun 2008 06:37

Okay, gals... here's the rundown of how to deal with bastard once you've discovered which kind he is.

But first, the bottomline is, an a$$hole is an a$$hole, whichever type he is, it doesnt matter. bread is bread, right.....Albany, Blue Ribbon or Snowflake..... same dough.

So, yha

1. The Sensitive Soul Type

Dnt get attached. Coz he's hott and he knows it, flatter him....He wants to hear everyday how much you love him and what a great guy he is..give it to him. And sexxx him, goet! then sleep with his bestfriend.

2. The bachelor Flat Type

First, move in with him. Milk him, Then marry someone else.

3. The Liberated Type

Play along

4.  Die hard Conservative

Sexxx him!!!

5. Camel

Stay away!!!



faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 06:48

Carino You are An  Angry Black  Women!

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 08:03

mstick
20 Jun 2008 08:11

@Carino..........And Sexxx him goet! then sleep with his bestfriend...........tl tl tl tl tl tl tl this is meant 2 b a joke rite!!!!!!!

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 08:23

No@ mstick    Carino was dead serious!

carino
20 Jun 2008 08:28

Carino You are An Angry Black Woman!

I'm not angry, babes... I'm mad as hell!  (quoting Helen in Diary.... )

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 08:38

ooh That explains the voicemail  uMMmmmmH

Honeypot
20 Jun 2008 09:16

Carino

Honeypot
20 Jun 2008 09:16

Carino youare

Honeypot
20 Jun 2008 09:16

Carino you are

Honeypot
20 Jun 2008 09:16

Carino you

Honeypot
20 Jun 2008 09:16

Carino you are my

Honeypot
20 Jun 2008 09:16

Carino you are my role

Honeypot
20 Jun 2008 09:19

Carino you are my role model!!!

Pls excuse my many replies I never thought this day would come when I would stutter like this.

faraimagic
20 Jun 2008 09:26

Role Model who?

thsere
15 Jul 2008 06:07

All men a bastards , but de thing is de iz no mr perfect.  

Toodecent
15 Jul 2008 06:17

Thats the dumbest thing I have ever heard.....!

carino
15 Jul 2008 06:33

Honeypot!

faraimagic
15 Jul 2008 07:53

Dj Cleo is perfect!

lepogo
15 Jul 2008 08:07

Ja ne????Dis is crazier than a Tarantino script........Surely I fit nowhere here.....

molibelis
15 Jul 2008 08:10

Some man are out of line,just imagen dating someone for 4yrs,but he havent introduce u to his family,and when u ask,o tlabe a hlatha kwana le kwana,so its true man are bustard,and dont trust them.eg:Miles from RC

faraimagic
15 Jul 2008 08:18

Lepogo  read again and understand!  clearly if you dont fit here it simply means that u aint no bastard! wats the topic of this article!   unless u consider yoself a Bastard....then i could write one that will fit you!!!!

faraimagic
15 Jul 2008 08:20

Toxic.......on your Grahamstown photoz  you look very innocent .....u should ask Belz! she may agree with me!

lepogo
15 Jul 2008 08:25

@magicman,Well,according to women we all are bastards.......And I thought I was the sensitive one-but the punk who alerted me to this topic doesnt think so.......Maybe I TRICKED HER A FEW TIMES??Im not sure,but she doesnt rate me very highly as a human being

faraimagic
15 Jul 2008 08:39

Lepogo     you really did some Damage to her neh?  anyway   let me give you a tip!   Buy her the latest Usher's cd !!then tell her to listen to the song MOVING MOUNTAINS! maybe send her the vedio as well!!!

she will understand!

faraimagic
15 Jul 2008 08:40

Lepogo     you really did some Damage to her neh?  anyway   let me give you a tip!   Buy her the latest Usher's cd !!then tell her to listen to the song MOVING MOUNTAINS! maybe send her the video as well!!!

she will understand!

Toxic
15 Jul 2008 08:55

sorted!

Toxic
15 Jul 2008 08:57

which grahamstown photoz Farai?

faraimagic
15 Jul 2008 09:03

wat cheap drugs are u on?maybe you confussed them with head arche pills! ...ok brown jacket,blue jeans next to a Pillar somewhere in Grahams? Heeeelo?

andi01
15 Jul 2008 09:05

Dj Cleo is perfect!, Sure Dlozi, if only you knew what I know, you'd be repeating this sentence ten times, everyday before you go to sleep.
@Thsere All men a bastards , but de thing is de iz no mr perfect, does this include ur father and brothers??

faraimagic
15 Jul 2008 09:09

Girls   there is no Mr Perfect...but a woman builds a man! a perfect man!

Matlhoadibona
15 Jul 2008 09:17

@ Carino... Basadi ba sele wa tseba......Nttltltlt.


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