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The Survivor Guatemala Crystal Ball: Episode 3

Written by Fingolfin from the blog The Island Rat on 02 May 2006
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Jeff: Next time on... McGuyver...
  • Gary diverts attention from his NFL background by claiming that he is, in fact, Canadian. The tribe chooses not to vote him off, but rather to chase him with a stick shouting "What you think aboot that, ay? Ay? Moose!"
  • Bobby Jon has a word with Blake, clarifying that the job of ineffectual, grunting, masochist is his and his alone. Blake disagrees. They settle it by continually running into the side of the Mayan temple until one of them falls down.
  • Brandon manages to, wittily, use the word 'butt-crack' in yet another humorous sentence. Hopefully, it'll be "I fell so far you could see my butt-crack from the top of the cliff", but one can only hope.
  • Amy freaks out her tribe by playing good cop/bad cop with herself.
    Amy: So, Rafe, you're voting for who now?
    Rafe: Not for you, I don't have to tell you anyway...
    Amy: Goddammit boy! *thwack* *biff*
    Rafe: Ugh... *bleed*
    Amy: Hey, hey, just relax, *pulls herself off of Rafe* There, now its just you and me. Why don't you just tell me and get this over with?
  • Nakum comes up with a novel strategy for catching food: each tribe-member ties a rope around him/herself, and goes for a swim with the crocodile. Extreme Fishing, we'll call it.
  • Tribal Council is guest-hosted by Donald Trump. He decides to let Rafe go because his name sounds like 'Wafer', which is what his most recent wife is, and because it makes about as much sense as any other Trump decision. The Trump is then attacked by a troop of monkeys because they couldn't understand where his hair begins and where it ends. In doing so, they unleash the power of the hair and destroy the universe.

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