What a setting! The Wild Coast seriously does the bizz as the backdrop for Survivor - it needs to be thee place for the American series too because Fiji's getting old now.
The local setting of Thursday's premiere of Survivor SA: Immunity Island really emphasised how trippy it must be to arrive on location, stand amongst the castaways and be quizzed on who you are as the cameras roll.
Your breath would get shallow as you hyperventilate on the fact that YOU are now on Survivor.
Wild puppetmaster dominates first snuffing
It's what caused fanboy Renier's berserk frenzy in the first Immunity Challenge of the season when he crashed himself into the ladder with that unruly mop.
Clearly you need to have bad hair to be a true Survivor nerd.
He's so smitten with the show he's going Brokeback Mountain next week! Will his rabid Survivor fandom injure him out of the season?
Does he have what it takes to make fans proud?
Will he be targeted for being too much of a threat?
He was the undeniable puppetmaster of Tribal Council, convincing Anela to change his vote, standing in Jason's blind spot, poking his duh!ness with a stick. It's mind-bending to see someone so totally unaware of what's going on around them.
Jason, or rather Ozzy-light, deserved the whacking for this and the terrible shelter he "engineered" for Zamba. The roof is so low and face-smothering you'd feel you're in a tin of soggy, stale sardines after Day 2 of no soap.
Thankfully none of them have committed the fatal sin of wearing yellow as their main colour considering how disgusting it looks when the grime sets in.
The Fashion Police
Interesting how there are no Survivor-esque bikinis. The girls have switched to athletic shorts, which I would too.
I've never understood how they can do their best in challenges in bikinis without the intrusive thought of something going horribly wrong, like the entire thing coming off as you emerge from a water challenge.
The shorts are good
but not nearly identifiable enough. Outfits are an ideal way to get yourself remembered individually and the girls are wearing too much bland black and blue.
There's one leopard skin but none of the others are memorable when they should be - like Paul who's got that floral surfer thing going on. It's how I remember his name.
Paul, Dumbass Dino's boyfriend.
What's up with Dino wanting to be on the other tribe with Paul?! I'm sure that's who he was wanting to cahoot with when he sweated "Help me," in the Immunity Challenge.
He's been obsessed with Paul from the start when he told him to try for the single Immunity idol at the tribe grabathon.
Almost as obsessed as nutjob Shaun was with being voted out. On and
on he went at Tribal Council as if he'd smoked a giant spliff of paranoia in the wings.
I predict he's gonna become annoying and too much. He's slightly amusing as a crazed madman now but I don't see it lasting, espesh because he's so clingy with sulky Qieän, whose false orange nails are one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen on the show. I honestly don't understand how you can expect to conquer Survivor with such a burden.
Episode 1 Scoreboard: those with the most points
Happy Chappie was the life of the party over at Tribe Vuna and I don't feel I'll get irritated with his fun streak.
He's doing well on points with his tribe right now. He won them fire, he's mad-for-it with his bare butt, he charms with his humour - people enjoy that sort of thing around camp and don't regard it as a threat.
Thoriso at Zamba's also in a favourable position, despite being sent to Immunity Island after being targeted by Vuna as the weakest player.
She's the Cirie of the piece. The observer, the outsider looking in, the socially aware strategist. She just needs to ensure that she doesn't get voted out by being perceived as physically weaker.
I don't see them targeting her for this though because they're already voting socially and didn't once consider whether losing Jason would impact on their tribe's physical prowess or not. They don't see her as a threat at all.
The person in the strongest position of everyone: Anesu the vegan. She has at least six alliances and a yoga pal from the outside in Wardah.
Everyone trusts her implicitly because she doesn't eat anything that breathes so they don't think she'll eat them alive.
Also, she hasn't become cliquey with Wardah like Amy, Carla and Marisha have done, united by their blonde hair like the girls at school used to be.
Crazy how the three of them hooked arms
instantly without knowing each other. I predict we'll be able to tell them apart in about four episodes or so. If they make it.
As for the rest... I'm not sure of them yet. If you haven't seen their bios - tap yourself here:
Who's who in the zoo.