After the past few weeks of raven attacks, hell closets and bleeding walls, something is finally going right for the Bennetts. Grace has discovered she’s pregnant with a child she is certain will be a boy “like Sam always wanted”.
Aw, that’s so sweet. It’s a pity it’s not a girl, otherwise I would suggest they name it Missy Carriage. Since it’s a boy, I think initials are the way to go. How about U.R.? As in U.R. One Dead Baby.
Perhaps I’m being a little bit pessimistic over the survival rate of Grace’s baby. Yes, it’s true that it’s something she’s always wanted. Yes, all the supernatural peoples’ predictions have talked about how she’s going to experience a great loss in the future. Yes, Sam and Ivy’s secret looks set to come out in a most explosive fashion.
But all of that doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll lose the baby. It’s a 99.99998 percent chance, but there’s still that .00002 percent chance that the baby will turn out fine. Let’s hear what Dr Eve Russell has to say on the baby’s chances:
Eve: I’m so happy that Grace is finally having that second son she always wanted. This is going to make her so happy. I just hope she doesn’t receive any sudden shocks as this could cause problems with the baby. But what chance is there of that happening? As long as Grace is kept calm and is not exposed to any sudden shocks, the baby will be perfectly fine.
I only hope that learning your husband has an adult son from another woman isn’t considered a sudden shock, otherwise I think Baby Bennett is headed for a one-way trip down the Fallopian tubes mighty early.
The great thing is that this sudden shock, and really it’s going to apply to more people than just Grace, is definitely bound to happen. At first it seemed like it wouldn’t when Gwen came to the conclusion that Ethan might not be too thrilled with her breaking him and Theresa up and might want nothing to do with her. She stopped her mother revealing the big secret of Ethan’s paternity in front of everyone.
But for once, this was not an effort to stretch the secret out until it was prestikky and the last member of the viewing audience had stopped caring. Because Rebecca simply found an even more explosive way of revealing the secret.
She emailed Ivy’s letter to Sam to the tabloids using Theresa’s computer. Voila, instant fireworks. That’s cold, man. Rebecca is *bleep!* evil. I’d hate her if I wasn’t so impressed.
Because Alistair Crane owns all the newspapers in the land (or something like that. Orson Welles tried to make a movie about him called Citizen Crane and had his career destroyed over it), the only newspaper that would dare publish was some sleazy tabloid that makes the publishers of Homeless Talk look like a high-powered newsroom.
“Old man Alistair will have a stroke,” declared one grizzled, old newshound as he contemplated publishing the article. No, I think you are the one who’ll have a stroke once Alistair litigates you repeatedly up your ass. There’s a reason every other newspaper is scared to publish bad *bleep!* about him.
The paper has been printed (the Night Edition of all things) and a sleazy tabloid reporter has been dispatched to sneak into Ethan and Theresa’s engagement party at the Crane mansion to capture the reaction when the Cranes read the newest issue of the Harmony Sleaze or whatever it’s called. So the secret is basically out there already – no chance of anybody backing out of a big revelation.
It’s going to be so bad and awful and exciting and fun and embarrassing and crazy. I’m alternately dreading it and totally psyched. I’m dreading it every time they show Theresa all smiling and cute and pretty and just so damn happy about everything. She’s been super extra lovely and sweet lately all so that the viewers will be all the more emotionally-involved in what’s about to happen.
She’s so optimistic about everything. She won’t even pay any attention to Pilar’s bad feelings about what’s going to happen. Then again, Pilar has bad feelings about practically everything, so perhaps her counsel is a little repetitive.
At the same time, I love it when big secrets come out and events like this turn to chaos. Do I think Gwen and Rebecca are evil swine? Yeah. Do I love watching them enact their sadistic scheme and want them to succeed? Hell yeah!
It’s almost the same thing with Alistair. He wants to reveal the tape in which Sheridan confesses to killing Luis’ father to the authorities so that she’ll go to jail and Luis will investigate no further into the matter. That’s some dark *bleep!* right there. Alistair’s heart is a lump of obsidian currently sitting in the devil’s cabinet case somewhere.
But watching him work is a thing of beauty.
It might look like Alistair’s plot has a giant hole in the middle, namely the part where he presents the details of an event to the authorities precisely so they don’t find out the details of the event.
But Alistair understands Harmony logic. He knows that Harmony Police are brainless tossers, so if they were to get a tiny bit of information regarding a murder, they would work on that tiny bit of information without actually bothering to investigate further or do any of that icky police work.
Brilliant.
I feel the same way about Luis and Sheridan as I do about Theresa. They’re so great together and experiencing such joy that I’m dreading the inevitable moment Alistair tears them apart. And they still haven’t had sex so it’s totally going to be before they do it just to make things worse.
The giant meteoric event about to befall Charity on the other hand? Unashamedly love it and am looking forward to every colourful, whacked out moment. She barely managed to escape getting pushed into a hell closet because of stupid Miguel’s stupid love.
When everyone else learned that Charity’s closet had opened up to hell, they were naturally skeptical. Even Kay repeating “It wasn’t me, it wasn’t my fault!” with the guiltiest look imaginable on her face did nothing to make them suspicious.
Fools. They’ve had raven attacks and bleeding walls and they still don’t believe Charity could be telling the truth. You’ll see when the souls of the damned are using your flaming heads as volleyballs, Bennetts.
Luckily Kay managed to convince Miguel to unleech himself from Charity for a bit to attend Theresa’s engagement party. That’s right, the fool boy actually almost didn’t go to his own sister’s engagement party because he had to be with his girlfriend, Pasty Face.
Whatever, Miguel. You’re not even a real Lopez-Fitzgerald anyway, merely an appendage of the creature known as Charity. So why should you attend big family events like that anyway?
As OJ and Eve have pointed out many times, Whitney is a tennis professional. She’s so amazingly talented at it that she manages to get distracted by people cheering her on and lost a game because she heard Chad say “You go, Whitney!”
With focus like that, Whitney will be at Wimbledon before you know it. They need someone to go pick up the tennis balls between sets and she’d be perfect.
I hate the fact that once again they’re showing many extremely cute scenes between Chad and Whitney, involving him helping her with her tennis and some kissing. I hate that I love seeing them together, because every time I do, that damn potential incest thing rears its deformed head at the back of my mind.
I can’t believe I’ve just typed the word ‘incest’ for like the eightieth time this week. It’s starting not to resemble a word anymore. I’m so sick of all the soaps being so incest-happy.
No more incest or incestuous overtones, please. Just say no to incest, kids.
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