Should we even do distance relationships?
Making a love relationship work is difficult and challenging enough, never mind when the partners are a whole lot of kilometers apart. Surviving a normal relationship is demanding and you are never sure what the next day will bring. But having to live with the fact that your partner is in another city, or another counrty might be just as much as believing they are in another planet.
How do we make it work? Should people be in such relationships at all?
How do you keep the flame alive even in times when you would be confronted with questions whether it is worth burning at all?
The first thing that you would ask yourself when you hear that some fools are in this kind of a relationship would be…. “Why would someone decide to be in this situation in the first place?” Truth is, it is mostly not by choice. Love apparently has no boundaries and if you find yourself in love with some fellow who is in Germany or who is busy travelling the world with The Lion King or Sarafina, the only choice left to you is… Do you take the risk, or don’t you; because it really is a risk. You open yourself up... making yourself all vulnerable.. to empty space.
Most people’s concern is Trust, in situations like this. Maybe he will cheat on me. Maybe she will find someone else. We will definitely have to go for HIV testing when we come together. Believe me, that is all petty stuff. There is nothing that is as painful as having the only heart that soothes yours, that resonates with yours, that gives you comfort and that you so much want to embrace and give love… half way across the globe.
Truth is, that is not a normal relationship. So there, the “I love you” “I miss you” monotony just makes things worse. Every day after hanging up that phone, after logging off skype… you realize just how alone you are and how you seriously, absolutely cannot do anything about it. In a normal relationship, even when you are both broke, the fact is just their smile will make you feel that the relationship will survive its mini-recession. But from a distance, my friend, its frustrating. Frustration that sometimes overflows and hurts the relationship coz you end up being impatient with each other and doing the "I miss you" routine, which is just as empty. My advice is, find other things to talk about that are not about your relationship and try not to constantly discuss how apart you are.
Costly???
Yes, distance relationships are costly, whether we like to admit it or not. In normal relationships… a quick lunch at KFC goes a long way… and your partner popping into your office to bring you doughnuts and coffee at 10am is really special. A home-cooked meal in a dark lounge with just the TV on, is totally romantic… but such things cannot be done from a distance, therefore money has to be spent on flights and petrol.. and most of the time you need to have some kind of a getaway just to make up for lost time.
And the emotional strain cannot be compared to anything.
How do you keep sane?
Apparently communication keeps you going. But there comes a time when that also just becomes mundane. Someone wrote that you need to keep each other informed about every move that happens in your everyday life. Talk about the new people that you meet each day and just keep talking. That is all good, but does it help, really? Does it not just put a drill in the hole, the emptiness? Being single, empty and lonely is one thing, but being in love and lonely at the same time is totally another. You know the person is there. You know you are together, you talk every day, but you can’t touch them and feel whole. You can’t touch their skin and feel loved, you can’t look into their eyes and feel devoted… and that webcam thing is a joke! lol
So blogger,
Are you, or have you ever been in a distance relationship?
How long did it last, if at all?
Challenges?
Should people do such, at all? It’s insanity! Who puts themselves through so much torture? God might have created a perfect partner for each person, but do we also say if God has put the rib of your ribs in Manhattan, we should also just live with it, or should you make sure that it’s really the correct rib, or is it your own fault that you allowed situations to keep you apart? Visa issues... Money issues... Family issues.... what is it? Are you just being lazy, and unprepared to face the challenges?
Can love really, conquer all things? Or do we HAVE TO take a practical drastic steps to help love on the way?
Pictures stolen from several websites across the net