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What is God point of view about the high rate of divorces in christian marriages

Written by kulxia from the blog Bongi's real stories Tv Talk show on 17 Dec 2009
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You know what friends life is as easy as eating an apple , but we turn to cpmlecate this things , buy not wanting to face reality , my point is christians should take a lot of time courtshiping so that they are able to know where they are getting themselves into rather than to think that God lives their lives for them what Am I saying Im saying A christian should make sure they choose the kind of man or women they have always been dreaming of cause for the fact that God gave us a mind It means he wanted us to be able to make Good choices, My biggest fear is the the children that are left in pain and as we are continuing to make wrong choices we are creating more serial killers , by this I meant that If you get married to a wrong partner not only does It affect you but It also affect the children and chances they could grow up to kill of abuse the next person that they so claim that they love to endorse that Allow me to tell tou a story that is a reality do not get me wrong that I'm ganst christian marriages but I just want us to do the right thing this story is about a young couple that meet at the church and the were so in love at the begining so one day the guy woke up and realise this women is not what he has been looking for so he tels the women listen here I realised that you not what I was always looking for , now the poor women did not know what to do so se decidede to pack her cloths and she left the guy with the 3 boys and years past the guy reaisin the boys alone and after 6 years he meet this women who could not have her own children and decides to marry her and stay with her after 1 year the woman tells the husband this children they eat to much and they are waisting all the food and mind you the woman is not working the boys father is working and she stays most of the time with the children, one day the child says to his father dad you always not around I want to talk to you about this women that you have married she is namecalling us she even calls here family and makes us clean and cook food for them meanwhile she can't cook for us and the dady wanting to keep peace he says we will talk I don't know in detailwhat happend and one thing I can tell you is that the first born out of anger he took an axe wanting to kill his dad the father had to run away cause the situation was very hectic Now I wanted to share with you that story as It was very touchy I became in the boys shoes and realy felt what he was going through and I have a question I wanted to leave you with Do you realy think the boy was wrong ?

If you have the answer and want to share other real stories that are touchy please tune into my blog and let us talk and some how come up with a solution

37 Comments

Best-Achiever
15 Dec 2009 14:20

Hi Sbongile

how r u sisi, do you promise me that if i engage to this talk show, you'll talk back to me, i dont want to talk to myself

thank you
BA

BigMama
15 Dec 2009 14:26

Hehehehe BA, l will be listening to you talking to yourself if Sbo does not respond...lol

BigMama
15 Dec 2009 14:27

l am sorry l can't read this because l have to be so close to the screen and it hurts my eyes.

GML
15 Dec 2009 14:33

The story is missing something. And it is hard to read

Tshilo
15 Dec 2009 14:39

bring the stories on.

GML
15 Dec 2009 14:45

There are no full stops, comma's misplaced. Capital letters in all wrong places because of missing full stops. *sigh*

Best-Achiever
15 Dec 2009 14:47

Tshilo did you write this because nna i wantto chat with the writter, first ask few question then engage to the talk show

maddie
15 Dec 2009 14:51

okay am a christian and there's a guy i feel is my person, am in love with him and we connect so well, we've been seeing each other for some time, being with him is so effortless is like breathing, he feels the same way too.

my problem is that his mother is a traditional healer and uyathwasisa futhi.

i love this man and my fear is that if we do get married i'll have to adopt some of the family customs and as a Christian i don't believe in those.

can love really triumph over this or am just fooling myself, it won't work and by the way i did not choose to love this person, it just happens

Tshilo
15 Dec 2009 14:53

so true BA,dont take me wrong but whenever i c ur name BA,GML,BM,Maud etc except holiday i just feel like reading. u guys never disappoint.

Best-Achiever
15 Dec 2009 14:56

Tshilo did you write this my Angel? i need to ask few questions, please

Dalo
15 Dec 2009 14:57

Haai this is sooooo wrong..........Sbongile ....fix your writing please, the topic is quite catchy mara haai grammar sisi grammar!!!!

Tshilo
15 Dec 2009 14:59

No i did not write this.

Best-Achiever
15 Dec 2009 15:03

ok... Sbongile dear please come out, i just want to ask few question then we will talk...

PS i dont care about wrong spellings or gramma neither do i care out punctuation marks... please

Venusseed
15 Dec 2009 15:11

Kanti what happened to spell checks and punctuations?

Sips
15 Dec 2009 15:13

There are no full stops, comma's misplaced. Capital letters in all wrong places because of missing full stops - yes and am struggling to read and follow the story kakuhle..Sbongile the first para is too much - you need to edit please - i find myself reading the same thing over & over...

GML
15 Dec 2009 15:14

@Maddie:

I think it will all depend on the rules and boundaries you put on your relationship with him. you can support him and his family but it does not mean you have to engage in those things. At the same time the relationship will depend on whether your man explains to his family your situation and makes them understand your agreement. But also be careful not to criticize his family traditions etc.

It's all about setting boundaries in the relationship..

maddie
15 Dec 2009 15:24

thanks GML,

it's hard though when i'll have to exclude myself, how long will i keep this going?
it's so difficult to even think about it.

Guys I think we all get what message the author is trying to convey, it won't hurt though to fix some of the grammar, spelling mistakes for the reading pleasure of other bloggers.

The big question?

why are Christian marriages failing these days?

lets debate that.

Sips
15 Dec 2009 15:26

Maddie - is he also a christian? you can support him and his family but it does not mean you have to engage in those things i agree with GML though it might cause some tentions btn you guys and the whole family - if there's a ritual and umakoti is not there to do her duties & stuff - (my cousin & his wife are born again christians and when ever there's a ritual they're not there which leaves us doing all the duties - the mother-in-law is so not impressed and now there's a huge tension btn them...)

nekzo
15 Dec 2009 15:26

I dont think uSbongile is finished with this article,please check the date

ms.tebby
15 Dec 2009 15:28

kwa kwa kwa kwaaaa! eish bloggers you are killing me :-)
hello BA..please since you read can you summarise for the rest of us, cant read this at all, these lines keep mixing & my eyes are even aching, LOL

GML
15 Dec 2009 15:37

@Sips:

By support I means she can be there to help out but not necessarily practice his traditions. WAsh dishes, help with cooking etc.

But not drinking blood etc (if that's what they do)

Maddie: your man is the only person who can make the arrangement work only if he gets both parties (u and his family) to understand their boundaries as far as your agreement is concerned.

maddie
15 Dec 2009 15:37

@sips

he's not a christian

Lex
15 Dec 2009 15:39

...

Dalo
15 Dec 2009 15:40

Abanye nje sebasile......like abo ms.tebby...........Are you really gonna repeat what everyone is saying? ..... I think USbongile uzwile manje Stop making so much noise, like maddie has said debate on the topic ....kanti yini manje?

Lex
15 Dec 2009 15:42

LOL @ GML's blood drinking.

cuz-cuz
15 Dec 2009 15:45

maddie i gotta angle with GML

Guys do u think a relationship can work if u n the person u like have no common language u both understand. uma nikhuluma anizwani nhlobo

but really can one date someone they cannot talk 2, kobanini ukhuluma ngezandla and is it true that to learn the lingo fast u must date lowomuntu okhuluma lesosilimu.

cuz-cuz
15 Dec 2009 15:48

sorry meant agree with GML

maddie
15 Dec 2009 15:52

cuz cuz

I'm sotho and the man is Zulu, i must am getting tired of speaking English all the time, I do try to speak isiZulu but I can't hold a conversation much longer.

yena he's a typical zulu man he tries to speak my language.

it's fun though, yes a relationship can survive the language barrier.

non-verbal communication can also be powerful

ms.tebby
15 Dec 2009 15:52

dalo nc nc nc nc, kids! clearly you are not using your brains child, shem! how do u debate the topic when you dont even know what is the writter is saying? Im not gonna insult myself again & respond to your comments

Dalo
15 Dec 2009 16:01

@ mst.writer girl not writter
Anyway I'd like to wish all of you a blessed christmas and as you begin a new year may you find prosperity, wealth, wisdom and happiness.
Nice knowing you.......... till we meet again next year

BigMama
15 Dec 2009 16:13

You are such a darling Cheesa, Thank you.

SistaBB
15 Dec 2009 16:17

Cheesa you are a life saver.
@Dalo, same to you

Sips
15 Dec 2009 16:18

@GML i hear you and i also agree am just saying tht its quite challenging...

@Maddie
he's not...- does he practice the stuff...b/z if he does he'll sometimes do them at your house and what happens then...sometimes woman have to wear some stuff, walk barefoot, etc if the ritual is happening at their houses ...maybe u need to pray so that he becomes a chritian too....

Thanks Cheesa...

cuz-cuz
15 Dec 2009 16:37

maddie you and yo bf have a common language u both understand, english .

let say u moved to Rome, n ppl there speak Italian which is their official language n u as South African , u speak yo Sotho n english n yo man speaks Italian no English so the two of u have no common language that u both understand n can communicate in.

do u think can work

Sips
15 Dec 2009 17:37

My understanding is that God wants us to get involved with Christians that are working with God, (it also does happen that a couple meet and one partner is not saved and the other is but they’re powerful in their faith that inturn saved his/her partner – but some would argue it & say its unbiblical...) and that He wants us to start something with a person that we think we could marry, (those thoughts are confirmed by the prayer – hense christians pray for first) we’re not to connect emotionally with a person if we don't have intentions for a long term commitment (leading to marriage) with them, also to wait/watch from a distance for a Godly character in a person

Now comes the problem with us christians – we’re controlled by inkanuko zomzimba (physical desires) so much that we don’t watch for Godly character from a distance nor do we humble pray and seek God’s confirmation – we just get married b/z we can’t control the disires anymore and we get married b/z of what Paul says about getting married if we can’t exercise self-control, which I think we need more interpretation of that - and our pastors are failing in that department, bavuma uba sitshate coz they’re scared that abazalwana bazomithisana…

I think both the husband and the first wife we controlled by them physical desires, that is why umyeni woke up and said the woman was not right for him…. The second time me thinks he married her b/z she couldn’t have children of her own…so they wouldn’t have abanye abantwana and the whole favouritism won’t be there . That woman was also not the one for him b/z she wouldn’t treat his children like that if she was…

How old are the boys? Do I think he was wrong in wanting to kill his father?? – he was angry – and acting in anger isn’t good, if the father had died he was going to go to jail, the younger boys would’ve been left with the step mom, things would be worse and there’d be nothing he could do. I agree with Cheesa the father should have sat everyone down and talked about the issue, yes I also think he should have involved a family member or an elder from church or pastor…

Squeeza
15 Dec 2009 23:29

Writer, is your date correct ? just wondering if I overslept

Lela
16 Dec 2009 02:01

This is so true,i rmemba when i was in a fellowshp of young adults every1 was in ds pressure 2 get married n i was only 21 n almost got married 2 a guy i ddnt love bcz he was a perfect picture of a christian hubby bt thank God 4 d wisdom he gave me 2 end it b4 it was 2 late. A lot of ppl dat got married in dat fellowshp dvorced withn a yr cz nw they had 2 live 2getha outside d fellowshp. Nw im wt d man of my own dreams 4 3yrs,wl get married whn ready. My prayer was, God gv me d man id date evn if i wasnt a christian n i want 2 date him n get married whn we r ready.

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