x close

SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE

SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE

ACTORS | ARTICLES | CASTINGS | SHOWS | TEASERS

Am I overreacting?

Written by Freemale from the blog PARENTING on 21 Jul 2009
Favourite this post

My best friend (at least that is what I thought she is)and I have been friends for 9 years now and we have become more like sisters. She has always been a person that needs too much attention and off course I didn’t mind giving her that cause I love her: Nearly every day of my life I've listened to her talk endlessly about her complicated relationships /life; I've held her hand as she freaked her way through countless crises and meltdowns, and done a thousand favors for her. Through all those years of offering hugs and help and sympathy and of taking her side, I never asked much from her. Frankly, I didn't need it. She always said that I was her best friend and she loved me, and if I ever did need her, she'd be there for me. And I believed her.

Then, yesterday I got a call from the mechanic who has been fixing my car to tell me that unfortunately I cant drive my car for another month and it is going to cost R4000 to fix it (which I don’t have at this point) . I was in such a state I then picked my phone and called her almost in tears and she wasn’t picking up her phone so I decided to send her an email instead and sms asking her if there anyway that she can help and she did not respond to that either, so I thought maybe she has been busy. This morning when I logged into my computer she was online and then I went on asking her if she got my messages and she totally ignored my question and opted to tell me about my ex who is getting married.

That was the last straw. Something in me snapped. I get it now: I fell like. She only "loved" me when I was available for her to use, and then she let me down. Honestly I did not expect her to sign me a cheque of R4000; if really she did not have the money at least she could have had the decency to respond to my emails or something (I could do with moral support). Right now I fell angry at myself for letting her use me all these years. Maybe I am overreacting, I m really trying to see the best in her but part of me right now just wants to pick up that phone and tell her where to get off.

So bloggers one way or the other we have all had friends who have used us or who we have used, what would you do or what did you do when you found yourself in situation?

60 Comments

Freemale
21 Jul 2009 14:59

My car is very important since well I use it to drop off my son at school in the mornings, so it is a bit strainous for me right now...

dali
21 Jul 2009 15:06

mmm FREEMALE... i like yo name.... okay let me read

BigMama
21 Jul 2009 15:14

You are not overreacting at all. lf l was your friend, l would have told you that l don't have the money, but l can maybe assist you with this much by the end of the month. But hey in life don't expect everyone to return back the favours you do for them. Some do appreciate but some are just taking you for a ride.

zozoe
21 Jul 2009 15:15

OH SHEM
DALI HOW ARE YOU MY FREND

LET ME READ I WILL BE BACK

mathata
21 Jul 2009 15:18

my love in life ther is no such a thing friend.is just a six words you can spell only.

when you are healthy,have money,no problems at that moment you have friends,worse part asking Money n a friend,those two they dont get along.if you help someone to expect anything in return,that the way s* it is.

the only thing you can do,go to the bathroom n cry like hell,n dont make a car you first priority ,you can have a better day without a car n that bitch.

my dear nna im used to it,i dont have anyone i can call a friends,im lonely most of the time.

ppl are very very wicked.

if i have a problem like this.....i write a letter to myself,n i will right good things about myself just to feel good Period!

the point is you cant finish the person.

BigMama
21 Jul 2009 15:19

Don't tell her where to get off, rather ignore her or tell her how you feel about what she is doing. She is not worthy being your best friend, friends are open and honest towards each other. l wonder why she did not have the courage to tell you that she does not have the money.

BigMama
21 Jul 2009 15:21

As for the car, you will take a Taxi and you won't die, l am sure used one before you bought the car.

Freemale
21 Jul 2009 15:24

Yaa Big mama I took one this morning and I dont have a problem at all I made alternative arrangement for my son, so so far we are covered.

Best-Achiever
21 Jul 2009 15:28

The only time you can measure what type / kind of friendship you have with someone is when you are in trouble, A true friend if they cant help you, they will be there with you.

this one isnt

felfel
21 Jul 2009 15:32

Dont tell her where to get off over this cos clearly she doesn't see her fault, she's playing dumb online and over sms's , i suggest u call her or ask her over to ur place since u no longer mobile, and then repeat ur dilemma so that u can really suss out wat her reaction/action will be when u talking to her in real time.

or otherwise just ignore her, log off when she's online and get help somewehere else. And when she asks you why u've been scarce or quiet tell her it's becos u've been trying to deal with a dilemma and she didn't seem to be available to assist or lend an ear, theres really no need to lose ur head over this, just keep to urself qha wena.

Pepsi Cola
21 Jul 2009 15:41

Hi there (Freemale)

Don't give yoself a worry u know friends are like that as they say:

When days are dark friends are few, know you were you stand with your friend, she isn't worth it just cut her off your list of friends, @ least your have your Bloggers whom you can learn on when u are in trouble no matter we a not close to you. U will come alright just take 1 step @ a time.

kunju
21 Jul 2009 15:46

she is just using you freemale just ignore her you will see one of these days she will come back asking for your help.i know what you are talking i've been there.

nekzo
21 Jul 2009 15:46

friends,friends,friends hayi man that is why I dont have friends

cleve
21 Jul 2009 15:50

my love in life ther is no such a thing friend.is just a six words you can spell only.

kwa kwa kwa kwa!!!!!!!!!!

dali
21 Jul 2009 15:58

HI ZOE ma frend!

can i be yo frend freeman??? not all ppl r like dat frend of yours, she does not deserve a frend like u. let her go hang herself with a wet toilet paper!

mathata
21 Jul 2009 16:09

@Dali LoL,Ok now ,can you help her with money to show your true beauty.....my dear.

ppl can be nice,but once you talk about money ,you chased them away like " boyfriends"

Lex
21 Jul 2009 16:13

I know exactly what that feels like.I say deal with it by ignoring the bit*h.It seems like her life is full of drama,and I promise you,by thursday this week,she'll be needing your shoulder so she can cry on it,and she's gonna think you'll offer her the shoulder,but tell her you're lending it to the people in the taxi!

Tshd21
21 Jul 2009 16:19

Askies dudette, but I would advice you to talk to her about how you feel and listen to what she has to say, and then decide whether she is a friend or an acquintance (sp) after all.

myname
21 Jul 2009 16:21

One advise

STAY AWAY FROM GAUTENG FREINDS unless u grow up together not ozithola with 32/28 teeth. ......and luvie dont lend ur BEST FREIND OR BOYFREIND YOUR HARD EARNED CASH.

Thank you
Your TVSA freind Myname

mathata
21 Jul 2009 16:21

i think now we are blaming the wrong person,who bought the car?nklek n klek.

Freemale
21 Jul 2009 16:25

@Mathata

The car is mine and yes I am the one who is having problems right now and indeed I can do with some moral support from someone whom I have always called my Best friend whom I thought the feeling was mutual.

@ My name

Lol.....

dali
21 Jul 2009 16:31

lol mathata i can lend her de money if she can agree to be ma frend en i'll babysit during weekends if she wants to go on a date!

Lela
21 Jul 2009 16:38

STAY AWAY FROM GAUTENG FREINDS unless u grow up together not ozithola with 32/28 teeth. .....This is so true Myname mna all my friends (except one) are from home, we grew up together and we understand each other. One of them has a lot of Gautini friends and everytime she wants to see me urgently its because she wants to complain about them and she always uses the line you've used but she will nqaba for some time grooving with them and come back to complain again.

mathata
21 Jul 2009 16:43

@ DALI ,Ok put the money on the table sesi dali,why do you want to babysit?? or you are kind o friends who eat kids ice cream n left the empty container on the fridge?

monchooza
21 Jul 2009 16:46

friends are like that vele....nami i have a friend who always and i mean always dumps her burdens kimi...and should i want to offload mina he is never there for me...mara what can we say...some friends are like that and we have to accept them for what they are...its better that you know what kind of friends you have

nice
21 Jul 2009 16:51

Friend and money are a NO NO, especially because things always happen and the debt that your friend owes you gets to be the first one postponed, mngani ngizokubona later cos my son needs the fees / my mom really needs a new fridge . hayi ngeke bantu saphela!! I have a friend that still owes me about R150, I dont need it , but out of principle I still want my money back and Lord have mercy on him should he ask me for help, uzongifunda angiqonde ukuthi ngiwubani

You are right though you do need moral support from your friend, someone to listen and offer some advice, and if I were her I would suggest that you get yourself a credit card and pay for your car, then you can pay it over 6 months and the chop it in half until another emergency arises. I keep mine for emergencies and it has helped me a lot, and then pay it off within 60 days is possible because the 55 days are interest free!!

FK
21 Jul 2009 16:52

lol mathata - you have a funny way of dragging people out of the closet. I have been minding my own business (blogging silently) and because of your humour, here am I, out in the open and laughing uncontrollably. eish ke mathata fela.

mathata
21 Jul 2009 16:58

bare gotswa ka magoro ga se go laeala.

everyday this time, i watch porn,see you guys.

@FK life is full of s*.

FK
21 Jul 2009 17:07

@ mathata - kganthe ke nako mang moo? Enjoy DIY

mathata
21 Jul 2009 17:20

10:21

tizoz
21 Jul 2009 17:22

it's just a matter of time before she needs comforting, so let her be and wait for her to come crawling back needing your comfort, that time you will be so busy sorting out your crisis that she will get the picture.

belz
21 Jul 2009 17:43

Mlahle Freemale, lahla!!!!

sjura
21 Jul 2009 18:25

Lol Belz!

Phikza
21 Jul 2009 19:32

freemale u dont need her when u have oo-dali nabo-myname, lol. But i know how you feel let her be im sure you will sort yourself out month end we are approaching it it anyway.

GML
22 Jul 2009 07:49

I think Big M is right. Ignore her and tell her that you're not happy at all about what she did.

Just ignore her and when she comes running to you for help then just tel her you dont have time at the moment she must send you an email or sms and you will respond accordingly when you have time. But you wont respond....

belz
22 Jul 2009 07:52

Hayi GML wena,lol!!! uwrongo maan, im linking your response with that one eyokustalker umuntu and i think ou are just bad,lol.

GML
22 Jul 2009 07:57

@Belz: I'm a Bitch. I've been told that countless times. My friends have learned to appreciate the fact that I wont lie to them. Come to think of it. They are using me these people

dali
22 Jul 2009 08:13

lol mathata i wont eat the icecream besides its too cold.... i jst love kids thatz all.. as fo de money after reading yall's replies no no i'll keep ma own money fo maself

Freemale
22 Jul 2009 09:02

@Bloggers...really from the bottom of my heart I really appreciate all your advises, who needs a friend when you have got Tvsa bloggers....

dali
22 Jul 2009 09:15

yeah u have me freemale! dont wori lovie!

Freemale
22 Jul 2009 09:19

@Dali

Sisonke....

Amza
22 Jul 2009 10:05

Sorry man Freemale ( nice name), people can be very nasty out there.

You know you have friends @tvsa...who will tell you like it is...

zozoe
22 Jul 2009 11:04

i love tvsa , honesty all the way ayoba i like send a shout out

to Best Achiever, Dali, Cande, FK(mamprophet), cody, Ms Jay, BigM, Jada, Ms tebby, monch,GML, Belz, mathata and evrybody who knows me

dali
22 Jul 2009 11:21

lmao! maybe i must write an article about sending shoutouts zoe, what do you think?

zozoe
22 Jul 2009 11:36

Good idea gal

and pliz advise on what shud i buy for my male frend as a birthday present he bought me very nice three piece of towels pliz guys advise hleng or Dali you can also write and article about PRESENTS(birthday,graduation, wedding) but nna wud prefer bday gifts for male frends

blueroze
22 Jul 2009 11:43

@ zozoe buy him dunhill or ultra violet...those things make men smell devine!!

BigMama
22 Jul 2009 11:44

@zozoe.........buy him underwear..........just joking gal, l don't know. But l guess Shaving kit will be great.

zozoe
22 Jul 2009 11:53

@BigM o na le baby face
@Blue i will try consider it
some more people

sorry female ntshwarele hle ngwaneso

Mpums
22 Jul 2009 11:54

@Zozoe - don't buy him anything, just take him out for i-dinner

Amza
22 Jul 2009 12:00

Lol...I knew that this was bound to happen eventually,..otherwise I had vowed to leave tvsa the day no one hijackes an article...

Hayike Freemale bandla indeed forgive them.....

Best-Achiever
22 Jul 2009 12:00

My zozoe, thanks for the shout out my friend

about the gift, whatever you buy him, dont buy him
roll on ...he might think you are telling him he has bad adore...LOL

maybe try his favourite perfume, depending on your level of friendship... or like Bigmama said .. After shave ...Nivea one

zozoe
22 Jul 2009 12:08

he was class mate

GML
22 Jul 2009 12:10

@zoezoe:

Dear get him a year's subscription of his favourite magazine.

zozoe
22 Jul 2009 12:12

mpumis u ya khuluma neh dinner and we catch up neh try to consider

dali
22 Jul 2009 12:18

eish im clueless when it cums to buying men prezies gal!lol

i've always wanted to say dis: BA I LOVE U!

Mafresh
22 Jul 2009 12:23

@ BA awuthathi nonsonso ne, i like it hey. U r so upfront.

Best-Achiever
22 Jul 2009 12:29

WOW, dali Thanks, i love you too Sweety.

LOL Mafresh

zozoe
22 Jul 2009 12:39

I LOVE YOU TOO DALI

BEST ACHIEVER THANKS FOR LOVING ME AND I BELIEVE I WILL ACHIEVE THE BEST COZ THE BIBLE IN PROVERBS27:17 AN IRON SHARPENS AN IRON SO IF I RUB SHOULDERS WITH ACHIEVER THEN FOR SURE I AM GOIN TO BE LIKE THEM

AYOBANESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS