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Cheating Spouse

Written by Positivity1 from the blog Cheating Spouse on 27 May 2009
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Yesterday’s episode of Forgive and Forget on ETV was just one of those that made me question a few things and I thought that I should share this with you guys.

For all of you who didn’t watch the episode here’s what went down.

Reika from Limpopo knew Gabrielle since childhood.

Gaby and Tommy (her deceased husband) met in 1987 and because of apartheid they couldn’t get married because he was white and she was coloured. According to Gaby they were on and off, until finally in 1997 they got married, and that was the very same year that’s Reika started an affair with Tommy.

Someone told Gabrielle that Reika was with Tommy, Gaby found them together. All that Gaby said was that Reika ended up being in hospital after they were caught.

After the whole drama Gaby said Tommy had to bribe Reika by buying her rings. I don’t know if they were just dressing rings or engagement rings, but according to Gaby, Reika went around telling everyone that she was engaged. This was done with Gaby and Tommy still married.

Gaby confronted her husband who asked for forgiveness and they were at peace again, or so she thought! In 2006, the affair started again and Reika became pregnant with twins. Gaby said she used to get messages from Reika saying things like, “You can’t even give your husband a child. Your husband made another woman pregnant!”

Tommy left to live with his uncle during this period. He made another u-turn and begged Gaby again! And again she forgave him and took him back!

When asked if Tommy ever explained the things he was doing, Gaby said, “What matters to me is that he was at home and he was not going back to her.” She says what makes her furious is that she was in hospital in 2006 and she found out that Reika was sleeping at her house (her neighbours told her). 

Tommy died lat year and now Reika wants to be forgiven! Gaby didn’t forgive her!

When I was watching the show I really did feel disgusted by Reika’s behaviour. No woman should do that to another!

But then again why is that as women we always feel that it’s the other’s woman fault when your man was 100% fully present in hurting you?
Why do we blame the mistress?
It’s not like Gaby and Reika were friends’ mos! Now, why all this anger towards Reika? I’m serious guys. Think about it! Reika never promised Gaby that she would ‘love, cherish and honour her’. It was Tommy who made those vows to her and yet Gaby is pissed with Reika!

What really gets to me about this whole thing is that Gaby was willing to forgive Tommy time and time again even when she attempted to kill herself (she once drove into a truck). I mean really? Where is Gaby’s sense of worth when her are husband is doing things like this? What stops women from saying enough is enough? What happened to being exclusively his?

I believe people could make the mistake once and then realize it's not worth it to jeopardize their marriage and stop for good. But habitual cheaters, people who commit this more than once, it would be hard-pressed to hope the cheater will change for the better. I mean Tommy is totally oblivious to his actions here!

Would you allow yourself as a man or woman to be humiliated likes this? For better for worse, how long will you continue for worse?



21 Comments

Positivity1
27 May 2009 08:10

Cande
27 May 2009 08:35

Great was hoping someone will recap this, let me read

zozoe
27 May 2009 08:36

mmmmm

Cande
27 May 2009 08:41

OK, first of all i was angry with Gaby for saying Tommy was a great guy even after what he put her thru? after all the embarrassment. There was a time when he went to live with Rika for 3 months and came back to her. I MEAN watz soo good about such a guy?

Cande
27 May 2009 08:45

Rika can go to hell, you dont have an affair with a married man, disrespect the wife and even make babies to prove that you are cheating with the man. Send the wife hurting sms ses & sleep in her house on her bed and expect to be forgiven. Like Gaby said Rika is only asking for forgiveness because Tommy is no longer here, should he still be alive she was going to be bragging about how she is the mother of his kids. You cant have an affair for 10 years with a married man and expect forgiveness. GABY did a good thing by not meeting up with her

GML
27 May 2009 10:12

We teach people to treat us in a certain way. Every time Gaby took Tommy back she was sending a message that said it's ok to treat me like *bleep!*.

I think Gaby is to blame for Rika's behaviour because she failed to let Tommy know that she was not happy. Had she Put Tommy in her place by rejecting him the 1st time around. Rika wouldnt have done all those things. Rika was obviously trying to ruin Gaby's marriage by sending the smses and falling pregnant

Cande
27 May 2009 10:17

Rika can raise her children and tell them how much they are a product of her infedility...SIES did you hear how she was like i did what was the right thing and what God expected me to do by apologising. So she did what God wanted not herself? she doesnt sound like she is sorry 100% coz she was cool with GABY not forgiving her

cleve
27 May 2009 10:21

This woman let the guy do this to her. I have no sympathy for her. Rieka will have her day. I'm glad that Gaby did not forgive her.

monchooza
27 May 2009 10:24

i still think Gaby should have forgiven Rika....for crying out loud..what will Gaby benefit from not forgiving Rika...

I so much wanted to see i picture ka Tommy

monchooza
27 May 2009 10:27

in all of this...i blame the dead one

cleve
27 May 2009 10:32

in all of this...i blame the dead one

LOL!!!!!!!

i still think Gaby should have forgiven Rika....

I would not forgive both of them. I will wish them the best of luck with their lives and MOVE far away as I can.

Positivity1
27 May 2009 10:38

I totally agree with you there Reika was not at all apologetic! Again she was making this whole thing about her saying things like, "I'm not sad, just dissapointed that she didn't want to listen to ME!" And the Lord told me to do this so I did!" Where is her sense of responsibility???
To me it sounded like Reika was saying to Gabby,  "FOR GOODNESS SAKE, GET OVER YOURSELF! I MEAN  I TRIED AND NOW YOU ARE SHOWING ME THE MIDDLE FINGER! THE HELL WITH YOU!!!"

LM
27 May 2009 10:43

What really gets to me about this whole thing is that Gaby was willing to forgive Tommy time and time again even when she attempted to kill herself (she once drove into a truck). I mean really? Where is Gaby’s sense of worth when her are husband is doing things like this? What stops women from saying enough is enough? What happened to being exclusively his?

OK, first of all i was angry with Gaby for saying Tommy was a great guy even after what he put her thru? after all the embarrassment. There was a time when he went to live with Rika for 3 months and came back to her. I MEAN watz soo good about such a guy?

Act like a lady and think like a man: Steve Harvey

Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s
love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing,
generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure.
If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a
mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no
matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or
demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just
aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re
at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you
in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re
up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean
really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty,
encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s
not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even
when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no
matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say
you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door
on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then
some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even
when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s
The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and
all circumstance.

We teach people to treat us in a certain way. Every time Gaby took Tommy back she was sending a message that said it's ok to treat me like *bleep!*. Yep, that's the other side of the truth!

Mathaz
27 May 2009 10:49

Things are easier said than done.  It's easy for us to say how could she have forgiven him because we are not in her shoes.

Cande
27 May 2009 10:50

ooh please Monchooza, Rika is only apologising because the man is no longer there. Had he still been alive i dont think she would.

Sana Lwam
27 May 2009 10:56

uReika usile, she had the man and bore him babies then what the hell does she want with Gabby

Wasn't the humiliation enough when the Tommy was still alive.I would be damned if I had to openly “Forgive & Forget” a woman that did that to me on National TV. 

Mna ndingathi nje: “I have forgiven you but I do not want to ever talk to you”

Positivity1
27 May 2009 10:56

Things are easier said than done. >>>> That's true but we can always speculate and that's what we are doing! 

For me the saddest part is to see a woman go through that!

myname
27 May 2009 11:08

So true LM.....

monchooza
27 May 2009 11:15

now that Tommy is dead,....whats the use of Gaby still having grudges......u Rika u right...her conscience is clear now, she asked for forgiveness...she can go on living her life without worrying about Gaby grudges

cleve
27 May 2009 11:22

that Tommy is dead,....whats the use of Gaby still having grudges......u Rika u right...her conscience is clear now, she asked for forgiveness...she can go on living her life without worrying about Gaby grudges

@ Moncho,
that pain that woman went through is unexplainable and she thinks a simple sorry will make things better/?? Her concious will never be clear not after hurting someone like that and for so many years.

Smilo
27 May 2009 13:01

Gaby said Tommy had to bribe Reika by buying her rings.  What was the point for bribing???
that pain that woman went through is unexplainable and she thinks a simple sorry will make things better/?? Her concious will never be clear not after hurting someone like that and for so many years.  No, she  hurt herself you do not allow someone to treat you like *bleep!* for years and still allow him back to your life again and again ... The person who was suppose to be sorry was Tommy and now that he is dead Gaby must get a life and stop feeling sorry for herself....


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