Some of my favourite moments from the past week:
The week began with nominations…..hooooooooooray! That meant that 1 more lamb was going to the slaughter! And on the chopping block were Uti, Ricco and TK (with Hazel hot on their heels!). But with the tapestry clad dude being HOH he was obviously safe. He then did what left most hot blooded male viewers cringing…….. He switched himself for Lucille. (Enter Paris Hilton horror movie scream here)
Then there was the “Battle of Kitchen-Gate” which saw Mimi and Uti go head to head about food rationings. I have to say that this has to be one of my favourite moments from this season. Insults were flying left and right…and of course Uti threw his trademark “GO DIE” over and over again, leaving me in stitches.
The moment I saw Lu being wooed by Ricco who used uber cheesy movie analogies to win her over and it actually working I knew that she had reached the end of the road. Only someone with a slight neurological issue would have fallen for that! Hai Sham, poor girl…lol!
Did TK cheat during the HOH task on Friday? Mmmmmm, I must say his success is somewhat questionable! He was on some Al-Qaeda, hide and go seek sh*t with his answers because he is the only housemate who’s answers I did not see…mmmmmm…..
Fast forward to weekend eviction show
As the credits for the show opening sequence began to roll I felt a cold chill creep down my spine. Was I gonna be subjected to more bad performances, poor quality audio and (God forbid) another twist! I quickly downed my Cosmopolitan hoping it’ll numb the pain that was sure to come! And the show did not disappoint.
It started with the Ghanaian ballerina’s clad in black and pink tutus. Initially I as expecting them to start pirouetting but instead they burst into song, and boy did they sing (I’m gonna leave it at that!)
Fast forward some more – PAUSE!
Uti’s sisters are so damn pretty! Uti better keep them far away from Sheila! Lol!
Super speed fast forward
As the housemates are summoned to the lounge for the names of the nominees, as well as the person who TK had switched, to be announced I quickly took another shot of Vodka, hoping it would further numb the uncontrollable boredom that was about to continue. And for the first time in almost 5 weeks I was thoroughly entertained!
The moment her name was mentioned Lucille pulled the “ugly cry” face (as Oprah loves to call it) I couldn’t help but laugh (I think the slight state of intoxication made it that much more hilarious). What I did observe though is that this girl has an unlimited amount of tears on standby that could easily go toe to toe with the Vic Falls. I wonder where she hides the on/off button. Mmmmmmmmmm……… I guess we’ll never really know! Uti however was laughing his ass off (enter Doctor Evil laugh here) which is why what transpired later was an utter shock to even me.
The near ousted are then led to the DJ/commentator booth aka glass house to await their fate. What went down next made Quentin Tarantino movies seem like a big Yawn-fest!.
Lucille’s name is called as the second evictee of this season, but she wasn’t even that fazed by it. UTI however was going berserk, like a fiend who needed a real fix…then he started going all Kung Fu Panda in the glass house kicking and pulling everything which left Miss Sensitive looking as scared as a deer in the headlights! I don’t blame her, hurricane Uti was in full effect! Lu quickly hijacked their flags and was off into the sunset….lol….leaving the 2 fairies in tears! Lol…. One of the dimmest light bulbs had left the building....for good....i hope....
And there I was thinking it was over, that the entertainment was at an end…WRONGE!
As Hurricane Uti swept through the house he once again showed that he grew up watching Bruce Lee movies by kicking the first thing in sight. WTF (Thank God Mimi was no where near him….lol…..would have made for killer TV though – sigh!)
Then the drama started all over again which is why today is the first ever BBA awards.
Drum roll
And the winners are –
• Villain of the week: TK (for his staring role in “Switch”!)
• Best stunts: Uti (as the lead in “Kung Fu King”)
• Most dramatic moment: Munya (in “Home Alone – Pt 5, Lucille is gone)
• Best make up special effects: Mimi (for her part in “The Mask”)….lol
• And the honorary Shabba Ranks “Mr Lover man” Award goes to…… Ricco (as the lead in the 2nd installment of “Another 1 Bites The Dust”)
I have not seen this many tears since a cinema full of women watching Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in Titanic.
Fast forward a hang over to Monday evening
Another Monday! 1 must go!
The housemates have been moved to the “house of mirrors”…. Yawn! Is that another twist?
Once again it’s Uti and TK….and for the first time Munya! TK had the HOH umbrella as the sh*t hit the fan, swapping himself for drag loving Casanova Ricco. In all fairness Munya must be evicted, after all he did say that he was ready to exit. I am somewhat disappointed at his actions – giving up the game over a woman who told him numerous times that they were just friends. WTF! He has to snap out of it damn quick, it Big Brother, not The Bachelor!
Lets see how this week goes, hopefully there’ll be no paramedics called to the house…I think Biggie should hide all the sharp objects, especially form certain Housemates…lol!
Later ya’ll!
Hallelujah Holla back.
L
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