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Killer Lines

Written by Segololo from the blog TeleSegolic View Vision on 17 Sep 2008
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I am a fan of great writing and good acting, and sometimes some characters deserve to be murdered but are kept on a show forever. Often these characters are the ones with killer lines and we enjoy seeing them. Kudos to all those fab writers... your work is really appreciated.

My hit list…

Isidingo

Frank is having a chat with his son, Calvin, who wants to cook a special meal for his new galfriend, Jess. He however needs dad and his galfriend to be scarce until 23:00. Frank simply asks about Calvin’s cooking skills with “Do you wanna kill her?”

maggy
Slu talks to Maggy about the great old days of smalltown – when there were places to hang and dance, the shebeens and Friday phuza sessions. Maggy being Maggy tells Slu about the soup kitchen mama Agnes and Letti are starting to help the retrenched mineworkers. Slu looking baffled looks at Maggy and says “Who wants to hang out at a soup kitchen on a Friday?”

My miss list...

Adverts mostly are a miss for me… damn black ones or the ones meant for darkies pop my nipple! damn writers seem to not want to think...

Cereal ads
Kellogg’s Corn flakes ADVERTS with Gogo and Sipho or psypho or the Generations dude, Ajax. those ads just are a miss for me… they literally kill me!

kelloggs

Kelogg’s All bran flakes advert with mother and bloated daughter breakfast (I assume),,, The mother recommends the cereal. The daughter being very chaffed with mother says “seriously?” and mother says “fo sho”… ok that line is just wrongo for me. What happened to “yes, my girl”?

What are your hits and miss Killer lines?

62 Comments

Sexyzimasa
17 Sep 2008 12:35

Gr8 topic, I can`t think of a hit right now but a definite miss is that Halls advert with that VUT-VUT nonsense. That one is tiring,it's like someone telling a bad bad joke and looking at you expecting that you'll just laugh

Segololo
17 Sep 2008 12:41

Sexyzimasa... anada darkie advert. they really take us for granted... i a;so don't like it. trying to think of a darkie ad I like.

those impulse ones made me physically sick... they were bad.

sabelosb
17 Sep 2008 12:44

the one that is a hit for me is the KFC advert with Zoe where gogo says" umakoti umoski mali yo mtanam" i think it is GR8 ayoba SB UOFS.

Brown Shuga
17 Sep 2008 15:27

Heheheh Sego, when was that picture of Maggie taken?

Firstdvd
17 Sep 2008 16:05

Adams' his got those [home made] killer lines from nowhere :-)

Firstdvd
17 Sep 2008 16:06

Adam he's got those [home made] killer lines from nowhere :-)

Dimago
18 Sep 2008 00:38

Nice one Sego...hmmm, let me go think of something..BRB

“Who wants to hang out at a soup kitchen on a Friday?”
LMAO!!!!

Renegade
18 Sep 2008 00:47

Firstdvd, i agree, I love Adam's lines. Great one Sego, i'm coming back, gonna think a bit.

Cande
18 Sep 2008 00:47

Adam on Generations has killer lines

andi01
18 Sep 2008 01:32

I love the flip HIV to HI(victory) advert, with scrutinize, eleminate the element of suprise, and the accent just kills me LOL

andi01
18 Sep 2008 01:33

The Sunlight powder advert, my 3 year old niece will stand infront of the TV and when the guy say "of course, of course", she goes "on course, on course"

Maggs
18 Sep 2008 01:39

though i cant think of any of those killer lines right now but i am sucker for them too..

i also love those ads that only mzansi can pull off e.g with added what-what and how the guy the in standard bank guy goes "they are new members" its English but he says is it with kasi attitude and i am sure all SA can relate to that.

will come back if i remember more

Username
18 Sep 2008 01:40

Miss Lines – Maq washing powder ads, Vanish ads, Mr Muscle ads, Chicken Licken ads and the steers’ birthday competition ads.

Killer Lines – Conversations between Lee and Barker Heinz in Isidingo, damn that’s why I no longer watch the show.

Maggs
18 Sep 2008 01:42

Best-Achiever
18 Sep 2008 01:42

Lunch bar - Obvious

Maggs
18 Sep 2008 01:42

meant to say the guy form standard bank ad.... eish

Best-Achiever
18 Sep 2008 01:46

Lunch bar - Obvious
that Line cracks me up

shnugy
18 Sep 2008 02:39

That guy who say *OBVIOUS* on the Lunch bar ad looks like Julius Malema.First time i saw it , thought it was him

WhiteSockGirl
18 Sep 2008 02:51

Can't think of any television lines, but Emily Blunt in 'The Devil Wears Prada:
I am one stomach flu away from my goal weight or something like that

But then I love that movie,.... a lot of killer lines...

carino
18 Sep 2008 02:56

carino
18 Sep 2008 03:02

one line that kills me...

in one of Dj Cleo's videos, (not sure which)... he goes to the mall with his girl then goes and plays games... Then he spends the whole day playing that game, racing that bike, that the girl gets pissed and walks out...
When he's done, he wins, he doesnt even knows the girl's gone and he goes.."Baby, come see...come see..." I just always LMAO, when i see that...

MADENZA
18 Sep 2008 03:03

o sale kahle bomba

Ms. Jay
18 Sep 2008 03:07

triple LOL @ maggs, that advert gets me cracking!

I was thinking about that line yesterday @ WhiteSockGirl,
Maggie looked so drop dead sexy -where did u get that picture?

carino
18 Sep 2008 03:15

o sale kahle bomba

yhuuu... kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa... that killed me too... and what Adam did with his face as well, when he said it...

Fluffy Head
18 Sep 2008 03:16

I'm a sucker for good adds guys...
Wimpy coffee-
Guy: (reading the words from a hidden piece of tissue) Cappacino, Mocha, Caffe Latte
Girl: (blushing) Agggr Henry I love it when you talk foreign....

KFC Add
Guy 1: Nigella
Other guys: (they drop a few names of older woman they think are cute)
Guy 2: (just started paying attention)...Ohhhh older women thing aaight _ Your mom is quite nice...
The face the other guys face kills me

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 03:23

Heheheh Sego, when was that picture of Maggie taken?
heheheh BS, that's the first thing I also noticed, it must have been taken ngo 19voetsek when she was still singing "In My Times".....LOL

BTW, is there a TVSA in-contact sysstem that lets bloggers know when *website to go live soon (win01)* is off, coz I wanna know how did ya'll know the site is working again?????

Segololo
18 Sep 2008 03:28

Shugs >>Heheheh Sego, when was that picture of Maggie taken?<<
Jael <<Maggie looked so drop dead sexy -where did u get that picture?>> Mags and I are tight like that!! ok? Ok? he he he

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 03:48

Mags and I are tight like that!! ok? Ok? he he he
Sego, I think she paid u to upload a hott pic like that of her....LOL

zaa
18 Sep 2008 03:54

Kenneth Mashaba has killer lines

Miss: Lindelani's kuyozwakala..................yerrrrrrrrrr

Aromat ad: Chips are stupid without aromat??????????? *loud sigh*

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 04:00

@ Zaa, I agree with u abt Kenny, he seriously has killer lines.
And ofcourse Lindelani is a big MISS when he says: "kuyozwakala"

faraimagic
18 Sep 2008 04:03

Len Cooper will always be my number 1...he had his own way of saying things~~

Luksta
18 Sep 2008 04:19

Miss: Jika Majika "uyajaiva yena but akana energy"
Killer: Desperate Housewives' Bree(to her daughter): "Danielle, make sure that you keep your looks because you've got nothing else to offer"

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 04:25

Miss: Jika Majika "uyajaiva yena but akana energy"
hahahahaha @ Luksta, come to think of it, every choreographer uses that line!!!

carino
18 Sep 2008 04:28

BTW, is there a TVSA in-contact sysstem that lets bloggers know when *website to go live soon (win01)* is off, coz I wanna know how did ya'll know the site is working again?????

Eish, Nonnz, that's a killer line right there as well....

*website to go live soon (win15)* and all my joints go numb.

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 04:32

*website to go live soon (win15)* and all my joints go numb
hahahahah Carino, I know what u mean S'khulu, and we don't even get an apology or explanation, once all is on track.

Luksta
18 Sep 2008 04:33

Killer(Interogation Room- 'A Nun Killer' to Hlomla): Wena ungunyana kaNontyintyi & utatakho wayeyiClient. Ouch!
They translated it as "You are a SOB and your father was a client".

UCANSI
18 Sep 2008 04:35

I like the one ye cell c ,when those makhelwane's benomona bathi " that one, she can talk the whole year on the fone" the look on the ugly one's face when she says it..it's just kills me the way she says it

UCANSI
18 Sep 2008 04:38

And there's this other one ,i think it's Chicken Licken ,,the gay guy says " you must never ,ever!!!!!!" with a gayish look and voice...

blakrose
18 Sep 2008 04:44

LOL, when Kenny calls Sbusiso "Skhulu", hayi uyangiqeda finish ! Sbusiso as well, when he is angry haai haai.

mabhebheza
18 Sep 2008 04:50

Killer Line .....she was like voot voot !! and that lady with her jersey ene kinobho eli lodwa..shouting Hey wena dont come with ur Voet Voet Nonsense Foetsek!!

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 05:00

I like the one ye cell c ,when those makhelwane's benomona bathi " that one, she can talk the whole year on the fone"
Isn't that a Telkom ad not Cell C for the Telkom waya waya package?

Hey wena dont come with ur Voet Voet Nonsense Foetsek!!
hahahah Mabhebheza I love that ad, Sis Mandisa makes me laugh when she is up in the air.......hehehehe

Another Killer line for me, is the KFC advert, reeminds me of how ama inlaws love uku pretender. When that gogo says: "Umakoti udlala ngemali yom'tnami, ezi tiles ziyabiza".......and as soon as she sees KFC she goes: "Woza la makoti, uzohlala nami"

UCANSI
18 Sep 2008 05:09

The one ye sokhulu and partners when Nyambose was angry at people because of the lawsuit for dumping at their place, he said with an angry face "kudala ngiwa ngivuka ngibeka isenti phezu kwesenti,,bengekho labantu" then he goes " ngiyabazonda abantu abampofu!!!"

UCANSI
18 Sep 2008 05:10

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 05:18

"kudala ngiwa ngivuka ngibeka isenti phezu kwesenti,,bengekho labantu" then he goes " ngiyabazonda abantu abampofu!!!"
@ Ucansi, eish I miss that show yazi.

Beyonce
18 Sep 2008 07:32

Give me Adam anytime! I hope they dont kill him on Gen bathong, phela that boy is the heart of that show manje:)

Ngqesta
18 Sep 2008 07:52

Am loving that Lunch bar (I think it is) ad with a guy dancing crazy at a train station with some girl sitting on a bench...and two guys watching.....then one of the guys asks...'Bar One'?.....the one who answers just kills me...he goes.......'obvious'.....just the expression on his face is classic!

andi01
18 Sep 2008 08:14

@ Beyonce-Give me Adam anytime! I hope they dont kill him on Gen bathong, phela that boy is the heart of that show manje:), cudnt agree wit u more sisi.

Orie
18 Sep 2008 08:38

Amajem a majem ( domestos thick bleach)
Target (Louis,,, Masiyoja......)
Maq maq maq

kick-s
18 Sep 2008 08:44

Hayi Beyonce! Ngqu bani? uAdam? Kutheni ndingamva nje shame?

andi01
18 Sep 2008 08:47

@ Orie- (in my best afrikaans accent)
I'm gonna give you diarhea, diarhea, diarhea
la la la la lacry to mum, cry to mum, cry to-----
Domestos thick bleach formula
Domestos thick bleach formula

LOL

maud
18 Sep 2008 09:34

Paul: wena Kenneth you think Power is everything
Kenneth: thats why i am rich and your not.

Dini : When you married me no one stoped you.Tlogela Grace anyale kenneth.
Kenneth: ke gore basadi babathle bajaka wena bathloka banna bammathla jaka ron bo kenneth. Mashaba( Forgive My Sepedi )

Lela
18 Sep 2008 09:40

My kiler lines:
@And01, someone asked her if Qamata is the same as Shembe and she said."Angavuya lo Shembe efana noQamata angahamba ezikhotha amacala axele uThekwana." This line killed me.
@Single, I can't remember what the topic was and she said something about," Ibalulekile ikaka yomntu........"This really cracked me up.

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 09:47

hahhahahahaaha lela, eish u just reminded me why these 2 always makes me laugh (Andi01 & Cngle). BTW, I am that "someone" that asked if Qamata was like Shembe, and then Andi01 responded in her most classic way.....LOL
As for the "Ibalulekile ikaka yomntu"........that was about Khanyi Mbau, Cngle said some people bakaka ngenxa ka Khanyi.

andi01
18 Sep 2008 09:53

@ Lela- that line being true as it is, I think we shud never mention it otherwise we will have Khaphela Ngcobo coming to eliminate us, bathi he is a Shembe believer.

Nonny
18 Sep 2008 09:59

otherwise we will have Khaphela Ngcobo coming to eliminate us, bathi he is a Shembe believer.
heheheheh Ungayiphathi leyo, apparently Mfundi had to beg him so many times to trim intshebe yakhe for the sake of TV, coz he was saying he is from Shembe and he absoluttely can't do that.

JudyV
19 Sep 2008 11:08

@ andi, i find it blasphemous to speak of shembe like that

Ngqesta
19 Sep 2008 16:51

yho Andi.......thath'ikhava tshomam!

maddie
30 Sep 2008 04:16

Kenneth Mashaba and Dinny

Kenneth: Paul ga a na taba le Grace, o duletse go kga morogo go Karabo(meaning she's busy shagging Karabo) eish you got to love Sepedi bathong