I was rather disturbed after my boo and I were discussing the prospect of marriage and what it would entail (hypothetically speaking he said… I am secretly hoping that he is hinting getting married)
I was delighted to know that we both wanted the same thing out of this make-believe wedding, but what I found hard to swallow was the fact the he says he doesn’t want to wear a wedding band!
‘ What on earth for I asked?’ He responded saying that he really doesn’t see what the need for it is. Furthermore, he went on to say that if I didn’t want to wear one, I wouldn’t have to.
I darn well want my rock because I have no issues whatsoever with a bling-fabulous ring to a symbol of my marital status. He said that as long as we both know that we are married to each other and we made a commitment to honour our wedding vows is all that really matters.’ Granted, I totally agree, but come on!!!! How uncomfortably odd is that? Or am I the oddball who would expect my husband to wear a wedding band?
I acknowledge the fact that the use of a wedding ring by men was not common until recently. Whereas women have worn wedding rings for as long as I can remember, men have not. The use of rings as a symbol of everlasting love enshrined in marriage can be traced back thousands of years. But not so much for men, more so Black men…why is that?
I started to consider many factors that would be adequate reasoning for his reluctance to be a proudly wed man. Firstly, is he concerned about a public display of his marital status? Some men, whether rightly or wrongly, are threatened by this. Others are not in the least concerned.
Is it the stigma that "Real men" don't wear rings or jewellery at all. But surely this is becoming less of an issue as the wearing of a man's wedding ring becomes more common?
But men who choose to go bandless insist they are doing it for a more innocuous reason than adulterous intentions: an unwillingness to be publicly defined by their marital state. They want to be seen as people before they are seen as married, which presumes that one cannot be both. Hmmmm, I think there’s a little bit more to that than they are willing to admit. And it is for this reason that I am inclined to believe that all those married women out there whose husbands aren’t wearing rings should be worried. It’s never an innocent choice.
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