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Sorry, that's my seat!

Written by Trixy 145 from the blog Blooming Bloem on 29 Jul 2008
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Guys, you need to understand that not all of us come from similar backgrounds. So it's really adolescent for us to expect our peers to be conventional whenever we feel the need. By nature, I'm extremely flexible, mainly because I want the people around me to be comfortable.
This past weekend my friends and I went out. A good time for me means good company, good food and great wine.I knew where I wanted to be, but for the sake of the group, seeing as I was clearly out numbered, I let the girls have their way. 
The single thought that bugged me, was the fact that we live in town but had to go all the way to ekasi to have a good time...They had convinced me and there was no going back. 
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with enjoying myself ekasi but this was a tavarn! A drinking hole far out of my social grooming. I really didn't care if the Pope himself had a few odd drinks in this place! I didn't undertand what type of patrons where accepted here. Every bone in me was ready to give in and hit the floor, but my curiosity got the better of me. 
We got ourselves a table and quietly ordered our drinks, we didn't want to attract attention but with those outfits: we were open to the elements. We were harrassed by old dodgey looking men, ice grilled by women who had the insane idea we were after their dodgey men. I left my seat , which I had to balance with a piece of cardboard, for two seconds to find a possible suitor awaiting me. The ladies drink of choice, amstel.
I thought I should wait this one out, as much as I felt like running out those doors, I wanted to have a little chuckle while my brat pack squirmed. It took 45min for someone to suggest that we should leave. I was more than relieved but I wished for us to linger a little longer, after they dragged me to this place, I wanted them to suffer. 

So as a favour to my TVSA bloggers I have come up with my own solutions to the 'Stuck in the Tavarn Trivia':

1. Tiolet trauma: whatever you do never, ever, ever, use the tiolet. If you really have to, ask yourself how much you value your health? 

2. When it pours you get muddy shoes: Choose your attire carefully. Remember those jelly babies you wore in primary school? Now is a time to give them a good wipe!

3. Secure-right-here: Hon, there is no security, bring your own or go home!

4. MVG: There may not be a VIP, but just make sure your table is fully decked and you will remain' the most valued guest'.

5. Be a class act: Play nice, get along with other patrons. Talk as loud as them, drink as much as them, after all you are here for a commom reason.

The final and probably most important...


6. 'What you say bout my mama?': You will not be allowed to leave unless you pick a fight. Now don't go all macho on me, be very selective. A weakling will have to do, YOU ARE NO HERO, and have no previous experience.








56 Comments

love-ness
29 Jul 2008 14:54

maybe we dont define tarvern in the same way but 2 me when you say tarvern i think old women and makau a bona"their men" with missing teeth, whom their regular bath are once every 3 days talking as loud as possible n fighting over which gospel song to sing 1st

and as for the place hehe....lets not go there,ill just leave it at dodgy as hell.now u benn a lady of drinking abo mawine and dressing 4 da occassion i cant 4 da life of me understand gore WTF were ya'll doing there.experiencing new things or not u should have ur limits sisi

We were harrassed by old dodgey looking men, ice grilled women who had the insane idea we were after their dodgey men.@trixy now this 1 kills me lol..........................

Firstdvd
29 Jul 2008 15:23

"Extremly flexible by nature"...Liked that one ;-) The loo traumer: we have to use it no matter what! Trixy...Point number six: I'd like to know about the COMMON REASON, pls.

Firstdvd
29 Jul 2008 15:30

Number _FIVE_ sorry

what aka mathata
29 Jul 2008 18:24

m

belz
30 Jul 2008 00:40

which I had to balance with a piece of cardboard> LOL!!!! nawe ubufunani Trixy etavern. loveness: i used to live close to a tavern and that is exactly what happened there, everything you described.

Nonny
30 Jul 2008 01:08

I like ur blog Trixy145. Well done hey.

Cnglemother
30 Jul 2008 01:24

tl-tl-tl!poor Trixy wabatho. what the hell were u doing etarven nogal, nawe  u play with fire 

andi01
30 Jul 2008 01:31

I have to say I have total different experiences in the tarven life to yours, since I am there every friday. 

we didn't want to attract attention but with those outfits: we were open to the elements., what was special about your outfits
We were harrassed by old dodgey looking men, could have been a bunch of nice and very sweet, tipsy golden oldies trying to welcome you and be friendly with you all. But i doubt you could notice anything positive about the tarven since you went there with negative thoughts to begin with.
ice grilled women who had the insane idea we were after their dodgey men, is this a fact or an assumption.
Secure-right-here: Hon, there is no security, bring your own or go home! , do you have a personal bodyguard, etarvern it isnt needed since those dodgey looking men make it their job to keep everyone safe

Nonny
30 Jul 2008 01:31

Yah man Tixy145, tell us more about WHY u were there.....

Nonny
30 Jul 2008 01:35

"could have been a bunch of nice and very sweet, tipsy golden oldies trying to welcome you and be friendly with you all. But i doubt you could notice anything positive about the tarven since you went there with negative thoughts to begin with."
Morning Andi01, kodwa mara why, u had to come with ur Dr Phil responses while  mina I was still LMAO @ the humour element in this article!!!

andi01
30 Jul 2008 01:37

Tarven- the whole purpose of a tarven is to have fun. Most of the Tarvens are run by old black ladies and tymers trying to make a living, pay their kids school fees, put food on the table etc. Most of these people are either single or from a previosly disadvntaged background, hence they cant afford to hire security guards. Some of the customers are rude by nature, but the owner doesnt choose the customers, he is only running a business. I find it strange that some of us undermine the value of tarven. We choose to go and support a club run by "desanto de demingos", where we are exposed to our drinks being spiked and risk being raped, instead of giving i support to sis-Mavis eKhayelitsha, who happens to be friends with ur aunt, and your aunt still owes u sis Mavis, some money that she used to pay for ur school fees in 1997.

andi01
30 Jul 2008 01:41

You will not be allowed to leave unless you pick a fight, started going to tarvens in 2000, I have never been engaged in a fight (atleast not etarven). Yes i do sometimes argue with people, but the next day we'll be like "hay man chomz ibizinto zomnxilo, can we buy 2 beers and forget about that, you know talk constructive stuff".

andi01
30 Jul 2008 01:47

A drinking hole far out of my social grooming-  wooooooow
the fact that we live in town but had to go all the way to ekasi to have a good time,  i am sure your life in town is quite good with security left right and centre, but for you to come and undermine our way of life in ekasi is unacceptable and wont be tolerated, i am sure there were positive things about the tarven, like getting in for free, getting everyones attention, and noticing how people know each other, how they smile at one another from acroos the room, I dont think you get those in Desanto's club.

Nonny
30 Jul 2008 01:50

"hay man chomz ibizinto zomnxilo, can we buy 2 beers and forget about that, you know talk constructive stuff".
hahahaha Andi01, that's what I also admire about taverns *from observation, not participation* I like the spirit of togetherness esilaphaya!

Cnglemother
30 Jul 2008 01:52

what was special about your outfits,tl-tl! LOL!, Expensive maybe, Gucci & Roberto Carvalli.

I am one of those who undermine itarvens Andi01 coz the tarvens in my hood are not on. I am terrified of tarvens, wont set my foot in there.

Cande
30 Jul 2008 01:59

We choose to go and support a club run by "desanto de demingos",

LMAO

Renegade
30 Jul 2008 02:00

Lol! This was such a fun read. I feel you though, taverns aren't for everyone. But I think nowadays, they are being groomed into "go-able" places. 
I myself am much like you, a news cafe(midrand, woodmead) type of girl, or maybe capellos. I go to a pub close to work sometimes, but it's not like the tavern you describe.
However, now and again, me and my girls will decide to hit "kasi", and we usually hit "White House" in Spruitview, which is "Tavernish", but if you go there with a negative attitude, you'll be very unhappy there, but if you go for the music, you'll have fun.
So mina while I'm not a tavern girl, I think it just depens on how "taverny" it is, is it like ishebeen queen where the owner really looks like a "MaShebeen", or is it one of those sexy tavern's that are becoming popular ekasi?

Cnglemother
30 Jul 2008 02:04

Andi01 just coz u have pleasant experiences in taverns ekasi lakho it dont mean sonke we gonna experience the same treatment. We dont all come from same backgrounds so some things are going to be cultural shocks to other people. Probably Trixy goes to Cafe dela salute or Taboo in Sandton and probably grew up in some leafy surburb ngaseHoughton so u cant expect a person like that to just fit in kulawo masituation wethu wamatarvens. 

We can all be blacks bafethu but we were never raised the same way, some got exposed to the so called Western stuff from infancy and probaly never seen itakunyisa or Black Label in their lives.

Just go to a cocktail party as uAndi in Century City lo endimaziyo ohamba kwa SisMavis and see if u not gonna feel out of place and bored.

andi01
30 Jul 2008 02:06

@cnglemother I am terrified of tarvens, wont set my foot in there. wont set my foot in Desanto de Demingos or any club for that matter, those places are crowded, drugs floating around, and the crime rate is high (ask amstel why he pee-ed outside)
Expensive maybe, Gucci & Roberto Carvalli- i
  doubt that the dodgey looking men know the difference between adidas and adibas, so really it shows those people werent harassing, just admiring.

Simmone
30 Jul 2008 02:10

Come now Andile, maybe the words didn’t come out as Trixy wanted them to sound, I have been to a tavern kokasi in Motherwell in PE and believe me the place Trixy is describing sounds the same as the place there.

Someone steps on your shoe, you have to say, “Excuse me bhuti, my foot accidentally landed under you shoe”

The toilets, Enter at your own risk.

And yes the security is bad, the boys in the hood are out in full force and answering your cell phone without your crew present is not advisable.

andi01
30 Jul 2008 02:11

@cnglemother Andi01 just coz u have pleasant experiences in taverns ekasi lakho it dont mean sonke we gonna experience the same treatment, just bcoz Trixy had a rough experience kula tarvern it doesnt mean we all get the same treatment, all i am saying we need to give other people and places a chance before we start criticizing. All i am doing is opening her eyes to the positives she missed while focussing on teh negatives

This Nigga is trippin, ayt, i aint gonna stand around and watch ma hood and kinda life bein crashed like dis man, its so not on. yo nam se (in mandoza's voice)

@Nonny-like the spirit of togetherness esilaphaya!, thats what i am talking about

andi01
30 Jul 2008 02:13

@Simmone and those things dont happen at Desanto de demingos club, ohhh please.

Cnglemother
30 Jul 2008 02:14

Trixy pls participate wena u just write articles and unyamalale, sifuna ukwazi.

andi01
30 Jul 2008 02:18

Ok Simmone, its liek this you get clean tarvens and you get filthy ones, same with clubs, people cant write a book by something they experienced once, its liek a one sided book,

Simmone
30 Jul 2008 02:19

@Andile, I didn’t say they don’t happen at your posh town clubs or hangouts, but Trixy just had a bad experience ko Tavern and she chose TVSA to share her ordeal and chose the wrong words to relay her ordeal.

Nonny
30 Jul 2008 02:20

"This Nigga is trippin, ayt, i aint gonna stand around and watch ma hood and kinda life bein crashed like dis man, its so not on. yo nam se (in mandoza's voice)"
Andi01, u are killing em with all this Mandoza talk I am so LMAO mfethu!!!!

Renegade
30 Jul 2008 02:25

Hau guys, we all like different things. Mina there are taverns I wont go to coz there is company I refuse to keep vele. But there are some nice ones, but I don't think you can really call them taverns.
Agh, it's just different strokes for different folk I guess!

Cnglemother
30 Jul 2008 02:28

Andi01 yes they dont happen at Cafe de Lasalute & Taboo trust me. We are not tryin to bash kasi jols but u have to think twice b4 going to SisMavis's coz of izikoli ekhoneni. Why do u leave yo cell at home when u go to Sis' Mavis's heh? 

Two weeks ago I slept eAlex at my best friend’s house, there was a chick that was raped by 5 boys coz she was stupid and accepted drinks from them and did not want to give it up. Our other friend and I were disappointed at the fact she was so stupid to chow young boy’s money coz as a tarven going u know very well ukuthi u can only chow the oldtymers with big bellies that’s gonna cofa-cofa yo ass and that’s all. You don’t accept drinks from men your age coz uzonya ekugcineni. My friend was like lomntana yislima akazi awusondeli kontanga bethu etarveni udla amakhehla?

Cande
30 Jul 2008 02:32

ewe Cnglemom

pariri
30 Jul 2008 02:32

difference between adidas and adibas,
LOL Andi01 hahahaha

Earth
30 Jul 2008 02:40

Nice article Trixy,just one question....what,in south african terms..is a tarvern?Is it any drinking joint based ko kasi,or is it a shady looking place?Cos there are so many places in town  that are so shady,I would never go chill there,you know what I mean...and there are places ko kasi,that are so nice,clean,fun!!!!!

Renegade
30 Jul 2008 02:42

but Trixy just had a bad experience ko Tavern and she chose TVSA to share her ordeal and chose the wrong words to relay her ordeal.

@Simmone: I actually quite love the words Trixy used, they made me laugh, and completely understand what she was feeling.

Renegade
30 Jul 2008 02:45

what,in south african terms..is a tarvern
Earth, you ask a very relevant question, as far as this article is concerned. I think Farout in Midrand is a tavern, but I know ppl who wouldn't agree with me.

Earth
30 Jul 2008 02:48

Where did your friends take you Trixy?I hope it wasn't ko ga Press!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cnglemother
30 Jul 2008 02:56

kanti where's Trix hai suka naye?

faraimagic
30 Jul 2008 02:58

Earth
30 Jul 2008 03:45

Our other friend and I were disappointed at the fact she was so stupid to chow young boy’s money coz as a tarven going u know very well ukuthi u can only chow the oldtymers with big bellies that’s gonna cofa-cofa  yo ass and that’s all.

LOL @Cnglemother~~~~~~~~~~

belz
30 Jul 2008 03:58

I think Farout in Midrand is a tavern, but I know ppl who wouldn't agree with me.> LOL Rene!!! udakiwe mngan' wam, Farout is not a tavern suka bo!!!!!

Renegade
30 Jul 2008 04:05

Lol @Belz, Funny enough, i was thinking about you when I said "but I know ppl who wouldn't agree with me", coz i remember you mentioning Farout in one article...tl tl tl tl tl

zolx
30 Jul 2008 04:24

kanti where's Trix hai suka naye? - LOL oh cnglema uyandichaza kanjani..backing someone who wont even show her face....

Earth
30 Jul 2008 04:24

Ive been to Farout once,didn't stay long enough to say,was just picking someone up.....but she says its a very hottt place!!one thing I noticed though was the number of miniskirts,in the middle of July!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thobeka Jeli
30 Jul 2008 04:29

uyabhenda wene u ndermine amatoilets ethu xabuyothini in the first place  mnnxim!!!!! and the  thing with imilo you will never fight  if you dont want to  just keep your mouth cwaka and  dance what ever you want to do  dont mosha ather plp cause the can solve you and dont talk your voit  voit nonsense uzakhungonzwa sana lwam

tha - bang
30 Jul 2008 04:39

another reason why i dont drink so i dont have to go to taverns and come up with silly excuses whenever i need to go home.

thinLine
30 Jul 2008 04:44

Ja neh tha - bang! silly excuses whenever i need to go home

Molilo
30 Jul 2008 05:07

@Earth R u from Bloem? Or which Press r u talking about?

mabhebheza
30 Jul 2008 05:19

Nithena nah nise Tarven!!

Earth
30 Jul 2008 05:40

@ Molilo,I used to live in Bloem,Press ko kasi!!I went to that place once,stayed for 10 minutes and left,that place is scary!!I used to like Ekhayeni a lot,when it first opened,but now eish.....I

realist
31 Jul 2008 08:35

On this topic, I'll have to give it to you Andile. Your reasons are rational and spot on. BTW I do drink at the tavern. 

Molilo
31 Jul 2008 14:08

@ Earth Oh I c what u r talking about.
I went to Ekhayeni last week after  six months break.
The place was empty, I could not beleive my eyes.
It was after 12, I stayed there for 30 min and left even the music was not on............

suzzy82
31 Jul 2008 14:21

Cnglemother...Our I were disappointed at the fact she was so stupid to chow young boy’s money coz as a tarven going u know very well ukuthi u can only chow the oldtymers with big bellies that’s gonna cofa-cofa yo ass and that’s all. he he he

suzzy82
31 Jul 2008 14:21

Cnglemother...Our other I were disappointed at the fact she was so stupid to chow young boy’s money coz as a tarven going u know very well ukuthi u can only chow the oldtymers with big bellies that’s gonna cofa-cofa yo ass and that’s all. he he he

suzzy82
31 Jul 2008 14:21

Cnglemother...Our other friend I were disappointed at the fact she was so stupid to chow young boy’s money coz as a tarven going u know very well ukuthi u can only chow the oldtymers with big bellies that’s gonna cofa-cofa yo ass and that’s all. he he he

suzzy82
31 Jul 2008 14:21

Cnglemother...Our other friend and I were disappointed at the fact she was so stupid to chow young boy’s money coz as a tarven going u know very well ukuthi u can only chow the oldtymers with big bellies that’s gonna cofa-cofa yo ass and that’s all. he he he

suzzy82
31 Jul 2008 14:24

Cnglemother....Our other friend and I were disappointed at the fact she was so stupid to chow young boy’s money coz as a tarven going u know very well ukuthi u can only chow the oldtymers with big bellies that’s gonna cofa-cofa yo ass and that’s all. he he he undithe finish sana and its true

carino
22 Oct 2008 09:40

nc nc nc nc (((((shaking my head)))))

maddie
22 Oct 2008 10:03

andi - your responses are so hilarious I'M LAUGHING SO HARD, MY STOMACH HURTS


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