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Hit Em Up

Written by Segololo from the blog TeleSegolic View Vision on 02 Jul 2008
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There must be something about Robert Mugabe that I don’t know that makes all those people follow him. Do you know? Why are people so intrigued, some have violent reactions when you even mention the name?

Here is what I know about Robert Mugabe

rob

Isn't he lovely?

He has this cute, innocent smile that makes you feel that this old man would not hurt an amoeba. BUT when he tries to stress a point (it is not emphasis) on his speeches– he just turns ugly!

rob anger

Oh Laad! You upset him!

He “freed” Rhodesia from the British Colony way back in 19-vootstoot! And somewhere along the line people voted for him each election because of this memory forgetting they need to eat before singing “freedom”.
He likes wearing ugly shirts with his face on it.
He and his main men have the most mind-boggling comments

rob mbeki

True loyalty

He has a true friend in Mbeki

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is what I think Robert likes

He has had the same vintage designer, who has also become demented, as the shirts just get uglier and uglier each year

zimbeer

Get me a beer!

He believes that his country is the richest country in the world… Can you imagine getting beer from a Zim bar

He probably is a mega Tupac fan and listens to the following songs (practically dances and chants along)
Hit em up by Tupac – He obviously changes the last bits with ‘FU Biggie! FU Puffy!” with appropriate names to his issues like “FU Gordon! FU Morgan!”
Me against the world by Tupac – You can’t tell me you cannot imagine Robby singing that hook “It’s just me against the world, baby”

All those in Zim who fear him probably hum the house song Squire for Hire by Nathan Haines featuring Marlena Shaw. When the song gets to the point about the dress sense and seeing the squire you need to RUN! RUN! RUN!

Who else do you know this well in our news? Can you attribute someone so clearly?

53 Comments

Sdakamiswa
02 Jul 2008 13:05

.......Originally graduating with a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Fort Hare in 1951, Mugabe subsequently earned six further degrees through distance learning including a Bachelor of Administration and Bachelor of Education from the University of South Africa and a Bachelor of Science, Bachelor of Laws, Master of Science and Master of Laws, all from the University of London External Programme.[19] The two Law degrees were taken whilst he was in prison, whilst the Master of Science degree was taken during his premiership of Zimbabwe.[20] For More Info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Mugabe Why are the african leaders so scared of him???

zapiro
02 Jul 2008 13:17

@Sdaka maan...are you answering my question or is it this glass with sumthn sumthin(whiskey) in it engidakayo?who is mathata?hayi maan..yisho pho.wubani?

zapiro
02 Jul 2008 13:30

No being serious now Sdaka..the dude's soul will never rest in peace the day he ...lets say angel Gabriel pays him a visit..He really had it going the 1st time when he added some humanity in his speech ..laying his plan of action..action came along and diplomacy was lost ...and power with no control took over...relied on those who were lost with him to reflect his so previous loyal self to make a mockery of human dignity

belz
03 Jul 2008 01:35

He probably is a mega Tupac fan and listens to the following songs (practically dances and chants along) LOL!!!!, the imagery man!!!!

mjj
03 Jul 2008 01:50

Segololo - have you scene the way he walks? He walks like a robot with his head and the left hand moving up and down. I'm afraid of that man, he looks and sounds ruthless.People from Zim must keep the faith. When the song gets to the point about the dress sense and seeing the squire you need to RUN! RUN! RUN! - LOL.

tha - bang
03 Jul 2008 02:08

uncle bob is a bonifide tragic figure, a man wo stood up to britain when margret thatcher was calling the ANC a bunch of terrorist and thugs. A man who ushered great educational reforms in zim and who had a good booming economy for quite some time.a freeedom fighter in his time.
for the man to have ended were he is now is a great shame. At present he is more like Ian Smith done he realises. the irony and pain of that statement must be really hard for most zimbabweans to see and realise
As for the zim people well they can ask us the same questions about our love and support for JZ. How would you answer that one segololo

eskimofriend
03 Jul 2008 02:09

but his biggest achievement remains being the biggest doos alive.

pastor chic
03 Jul 2008 02:44

lets say angel Gabriel pays him a visit hai im a bit sceptical bout the visitation from Angel Gabriel. i just believe when his to time comes another Dude will pay him a the visit......@zapiro

pastor chic
03 Jul 2008 02:48

i dnt knw wat i wrote!!!!

Dimago
03 Jul 2008 02:56

Did you know that ol' Bob went to school with our very own Mangosuthu Buthelezi?

Segololo
03 Jul 2008 03:25

tha-bang: <<As for the zim people well they can ask us the same questions about our love and support for JZ. How would you answer that one segololo>>
I would say... Ummm! I believe in the power of a vote. We all have that right and need to exercise it without fear. I know that being president comes from being voted for, it is not a kingdom inheritance. If people, especially the youth - as they they don't have the hang-up of "the ANC suffered for us to have this freedom" and they use their God-given brains to challenge the Zuma "future president of SA" and they vote for a candidate that will address their issues, I see Zuma having a challenge to win what everyone seems to be thinking is an ANC inheritance to presidency!

Dimago<<Did you know that ol' Bob went to school with our very own Mangosuthu Buthelezi? >> Why am I not surprised?!!

Fluffy Head
03 Jul 2008 03:29

LOL Sego.....nice blog

Simmone
03 Jul 2008 03:33

@ Sego, did you watch third degree Tuesday, Miss Patta had a political analyst in studio, a Mbeki look alike who explained in the best way ever why the AU is scared of Mugabe.

He said Mugabe is the school bully, who is rude to the teacher, the prefects and everyone; he says what he wants and does what he wants. The rest of the boys know that his behavior is wrong but somehow they don’t have the spine to say no to him because it’s exactly what they want to do but do not have the balls to behave the same way.

molibelis
03 Jul 2008 03:48

If we all die and become alive again and hey we live in Zimbabwe,and still Mugabe is the President,will u go to south africa to stay here or u will just hang ur self,cause Mugabe kill his people and South Africa is Xenophobia thing.but staying in Zim is another thing

Cody
03 Jul 2008 03:57

i wanted to post my comment but somehow i am lost for words because of this other reply that i dont understand very well. i will come back, let me think about it.

for the record Sego, i read your articles, must say, you are a good writer.

mstick
03 Jul 2008 04:02

There must be something about Robert Mugabe that i dont know that makes all those people to follow him. Do you Know?.........i knw why Mugabe ke moloyi wa loya njeee.........thats it

zapiro
03 Jul 2008 04:04

@ Molibs..Oooooola(the Tarzan jungle noise)Mina im saying lets swap presidents and Ol Bob here..and oh ye please with Gordon Brwn as (Jackie Selebi) and Bush'itjie as ....dammit as ....as..where the ef do we put this monkey
Pastor chic wats going on man?

Cody
03 Jul 2008 04:11

You are right mstick, you just took the words out of my mouth, ke laka leo. Abuti Robert o wa loya period!
i dont entertain politics and all that but this thing ya Zimbabwe makes me mad as hell!!! the thing is, investors overseas wont say the situation in Zim, but they will refer to it as the situation in South Africa, where on earth thus that leave us in terms of the economy. Because of Abuti Robert's tactics, our currency will be going down the drain, Bra JZEE doesnt even make it any better

Mathaz
03 Jul 2008 04:17

Mugabe's tale is a sad one indeed, his crime is standing up to the imperialists. African politics is complex and we cannot begin to understand ot talk about what is happening in Zim without refering to colonialism. Morgan is just a puppet used by the British even telling lies that our beloved President Mbekis has endorsed the June 27 election results.

I guess it's difficult for Mugabe to see his country going back to Britain after 28 years of independence. Now the DA has the audacity to say Mugabe must be tried at the Hague for gross human rights abuse, if Mugabe were white, would they have suggested that?

MamaOmpha
03 Jul 2008 04:23

We were discussing the Zimbabwe issue in the office and out of nowhere I asked is there no one who can assasinate Mugabe. I know its wrong to think that but how many people or leaders have been killed because other people did not like what they stood for.

Weiss
03 Jul 2008 04:24

He has this cute, innocent smile that makes you feel that this old man would not hurt an amoeba. Shame Sego. I c u also have a crush on the man...LOL!

On a serious note I'm just tired of brother RM... Everywhere you go I just have to hear about his stupid a** and his one man vote... You know what noone else is gonna win votes in Mugabeland because they are just competing with ghost... Robert Mugabe died a long time ago. This is not him people. Trust me this is none other than a GHOST. He is planning to stick around for a long time. You will see.

Strolicious
03 Jul 2008 04:29

Cody how can u call ntate mogolo mugabe abuti....how can he be so pleased abt winning the election while he was the only candidate.

Cody
03 Jul 2008 04:34

I wish they can assasinate him as well MamaOmpha, but i guess they are just scared of him. i wonder why people went to vote anyway, because he had no other competitors, it was just a matter of re-instating robert mugabe as president. The saddest thing is that people like him (heartless people) live longer, just like batho ba loyang. Ag maan, this is making me sick!!

monchooza
03 Jul 2008 04:38

I wonder if there'll ever be a movie about Uncle Bob.....

mstick
03 Jul 2008 04:38

just like batho ba loyang.......@Cody.....True that baloyi ba tena mannn........nxxxxx and i stl say gore Mugabe ke moloyi wa di thuru wa goloya batho........

myname
03 Jul 2008 04:40

lol Weiss i agree with u Mugabe is a zombie sana. No man can treat his people like that & for sure he is using some muti even now maybe he is reading this article Sego & he will b after ur ribs. I wonder how he luks when he is sleeping nc nc nc nc nightmares only..................Gaad of Gaaaaaaad

andi01
03 Jul 2008 04:41

@Segololo Did you know that ol' Bob went to school with our very own Mangosuthu Buthelezi? >> Why am I not surprised?!! I find the above statement extremely insulting, however I would not like to elaborate on that, how can anyone, anyone be compared to Robert Mugabe

Cody
03 Jul 2008 04:45

stroh: abuti oo doesnt want to grow up!! he is acting very childish, i can believe he is in his 70's!! I wonder if it has ever crossed his mind that his days are numbered!!
Maybe the first lady (grace) wa mo thetsa, o re "o ntse o le monyane haholo baby, hore o ka dula fatshe. o ba bolaye batho ba!"
another thing, i cant help but wonder if abuti robert is not hanging on to his sit because of her, because if he is not president, he cant keep a younger wife, he wont have money, plus he is going to jail for sho!so no more shopping for grace. yah, a younger woman sure can make an old man like mugabe go crazy!!

andi01
03 Jul 2008 04:49

@MamaO I asked is there no one who can assasinate Mugabe. i had this brilliant idea some tym ago, if we as Africans want a peaceful and great African, someone needs to stand up, give JZ his machine gun with 2 bullets one for mugabe and one for himself,

Cody
03 Jul 2008 04:51

give JZ his machine gun with 2 bullets one for mugabe and one for himself,

LOL andi01

myname
03 Jul 2008 04:54

lol Andy no sana im still waiting for JZ's album mna. I heard him singing another song but lena its not popular like mshini wakhe

andi01
03 Jul 2008 04:59

I need to thathi khava hobaning bo Julios Malema ba mo tvsa are probably itching for my blood as we speak LOL.

mstick
03 Jul 2008 05:04

thathi khava........thathi khava.......

Segololo
03 Jul 2008 05:14

<<@Segololo Did you know that ol' Bob went to school with our very own Mangosuthu Buthelezi? >> Why am I not surprised?!! I find the above statement extremely insulting, however I would not like to elaborate on that, how can anyone, anyone be compared to Robert Mugabe>> I would urge you to speak freely with no worries... BUT I have to stress that there was no comparison made, just that they are schoolmates.. Maybe they never even said 2 words to each other, they just went to the same school...

I will emphasise that I am not surprised that they went to the same school as Buthelezi also hung to power forever! And when he was handling the office of presidency while Mandela and Mbeki were busy somewhere he sent troops to Leseotho... Just my free speech, doesn't mean much...

andi01
03 Jul 2008 05:18

@ Mstick are you one of them, or maybe you just a Zwelinzima Vavi LOL.
@Segololo, what I mean is even though Mangosuthu Buthelezi is no saint, he has done some good things, he is a role model to some and he listens to his followers and tries to respect them, (like when Mandela suggested he joins the ANC, and he didnt bcoz his followers begged him not to). Its just sad that his honourable name was put in the same sentence with that Devil. LOL

mstick
03 Jul 2008 05:41

Yes Andy baby so be carefull when u myk a comment abt JZ.......me and de crew will kill u.........just kidding....

bye guys i'm going hom i've got flu ya marapo........i'm feeling awful

tha - bang
03 Jul 2008 05:44

Segololo its easy to vilify u uncle bob but he was once a great man.lets not be quick to forget that.but i hope our poor south africans are taking lessons in whats happening in zim about power and accountability.but i duobt it,maybe a few are but i doubt if the general public see correlations with our own situation.
as for uMangosuthi Buthelezi, the man has his skeletons and he knows it,so does all of us.There aren't alot of sants left

Beelive
03 Jul 2008 05:59

hi all, m new here. Interesting topic Segololo. My 2 cents worth: I also share the same sentiments as some bloggers that the only thing that will remove that baboon Oom Robert from the power is assassination.

poshspice
03 Jul 2008 06:09

Morgan is just a puppet used by the British even telling lies that our beloved President Mbekis has endorsed the June 27 election results.

Morgan might be a puppet but he is the only person who stoop up to Mugabe while his other loyal cabinet ministers, your Mukoni, were scared to oppose him, when they did it was too little too late.

The sad part is that Mugabe is taking down Mbeki with him. Mbeki's legacy in and out of the country has been tainted....

Segololo
03 Jul 2008 06:13

tha-bang: I completely agree with you. i am just pissed off by people that seem to believe that becuase a party had great leaders at some point, the rest will also be that great. We have to remember that leadership is determined by a situation as well. I wonder if Mandela would be a great leader now - if he was born in our time - or was he great at that time because the situation required and allowed him to be a great leader. We have idiots now running for leadership roles because they can talk the impassive english and seem to believ that we will lap it up and vote for them into government. or rather the "past of those who died and were imprisoned for freedom" will carry them through and they don't have to do anything. They just insult my unintelligence.

I admire the greats like Mandela, Govan Mbeki, Helen Suzman, Mahatma Gandhi, Winnie Mandela and Joe Slovo because when the situation required leaders, they led. I admire Robby for his achievements but I still believe he lost the plot somewhere just like the Mobutu Seseseko's of Africa... AND where did it lead those countries?

tha - bang
03 Jul 2008 06:13

whats this thng of assisanation, that is not a democratic way of thinking at all.dont you think that type of acton could actually lead to civil war.look at the DRC and what happened whrn they assisanated poor Patrice Lumumba,up to this day the DRC is still feeling the repurcusions of that act.
let us not be quick to call to take what we can never return or create

tha - bang
03 Jul 2008 06:20

admire Robby for his achievements but I still believe he lost the plot somewhere just like the Mobutu Seseseko's of Africa...
we are in the same boat segololo, people need to start thinkin with their heads and not just their hearts, skin colour and ethnicitys.we need accountability in our leaders but above all we need leaders not overglorified peacocks who are just after the main seat and are not doing anything to put the country first.
the types tsa ga uncle bob we can do without.

poshspice
03 Jul 2008 06:25

whats this thng of assisanation, that is not a democratic way of thinking at all.dont you think that type of acton could actually lead to civil war.

Blame Julius Malema of the ANC YOOF League (as David Bullard put it)-

andi01
03 Jul 2008 06:28

whats this thng of assisanation, that is not a democratic way of thinking at all, sweet the word democratic doesnt exist in Mugabe land, if it didnt things wouldnb this way. if some1 would assassinate Mugabe even the almighty will forgive him, for teh bible says, "if there is part of ur body thats wondering and causes you to sin, remove it for it is rather to arrive in heaven with out that part than end up in hell bcoz that one part tempted you and led you astray". If it means freeing the Zim people, giving them life and home that they deserve, i say lets eliminate the body part thats leading us astray aka Rob (bba the people, Robba the country)

poshspice
03 Jul 2008 06:41

"if there is part of ur body thats wondering and causes you to sin, remove it for it is rather to arrive in heaven with out that part than end up in hell bcoz that one part tempted you and led you astray".

thatha Andi01 thatha -tl tl tl tl...

tha - bang
03 Jul 2008 06:43

i say lets eliminate the body part thats leading us astray aka Rob (bba the people, Robba the country)
all i can say to this comment is look at iraq, what has that accomplished.i dont think the us and even the iraqi themselves were expecting such a backlash and it has happened.
and please lets not twist the good book for our own devious intentions,cause it says it in simple black and white "thou shalt not kill" , Exodus 20 , the 10 commandements

Cande
03 Jul 2008 06:44

for teh bible says, "if there is part of ur body thats wondering and causes you to sin, remove it for it is rather to arrive in heaven with out that part than end up in hell bcoz that one part tempted you and led you astray". If it means freeing the Zim people, giving them life and home that they deserve, i say lets eliminate the body part thats leading us astray aka Rob (bba the people, Robba the country)

ROFLMFAO..!

andi01
03 Jul 2008 06:53

@The bang, i will not comment more on the bible part for I dont want this topic to change. But assassinating Rob, will do many people a huge favour, its not like we will be eliminating the whole harare, but just little Rob, haybo people can 1 man's elimination be such a bad thing, while he is directly and indirectly eliminating >86 innocent people over just 3 months.

Cody
03 Jul 2008 06:57

phambili elimination of mogabe phambili!!

UberB
03 Jul 2008 07:20

One must not forget that Mugabe is not alone. He has the back up of his loyal Zanu-PF members and the military. In fact the Sunday Times reported that Mugabe wanted to give up power after the March elections but the military forced him to stay, because they are in control of the countries resources.
Many Zims still vote for Mugabe cause they know his brutatlity knows no bounds.
In 1980, he murdered 20 000 Ndebeles in order to eliminate voting power of Joshua Nkomo's party. Back then he placed himself into power through ruthless means. In order to force the first president of Zim (Canaan Banana) out of power, he held a mass smear campaign and had him tried in court, effectively ensuring that he could not run for president again.
I Mugabe were to be assasinated, there would be war in Zim, it would probably be supported by China, Libya and other Asian countries which have good relations with Mugabe.
Clearly it is not a simple a matter of assasination, cause the repercussions could be worse than the situation in Zim now.

Thamsanqa
03 Jul 2008 08:27

eish ngu malume urob kelowo... let me think me and a co-worker we having a chat ngaye as esoloko engundaba mlonyeni... she was saying if you look at him, the man hasn't aged at all... im sure uzocinga that he's from out of space or something... waphinda wathi, he looks like a clone or something... kum aphinde ingathi akano ne feelings or any kind or remorse...

Toodecent
06 Jul 2008 05:46

Cant anyone ( forgive me Mr Malema 4 using your party slogan) KILL this Mugabe guy?

myname
07 Jul 2008 09:17

I thought of this article when i got this email & i Laugh my lungs out, this is really humorous ....................... Three men (Mandela, De klerk, Mugabe) were traveling in a plane and their plane crashed in a remote island. The king of the tribe told them that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get three pieces of fruits - the best they could get. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. De klerk came back and said to the king I brought three apples. The king then explained the trial to him. You have to shove the fruit up your as* hole without any expression on your face or you'll be shot dead. The first apple went in, but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. Mandela arrived and showed the king three berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be! Easy 1......2.....and on the third berry he bust out in laughter and was killed. De klerk and Mandela met in heaven. De klerk asked, why did you laugh? You almost got away with it? Mandela replied, I couldn't help it, I saw Mugabe coming with 3 pineapples "

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