Story 1: In the first story, we meet Poppy Qithi from Kimberely, who is married to the eldest of the Qithi brothers, Vuyisile. Coming into the family, Poppy was introduced to a very united family, but things changed as time went on.
She felt she needed to take the initiative and write to KK about the dark cloud hanging over her family.
Mhlupheki Qithi, the youngest of the brothers, explains that as children, they were raised in a loving family, and the boys themselves got along rather well. The trouble however, started after mother passed away. All of a sudden, they no longer felt welcome in their parent’s home.
Fikile, (the second of the brothers) stays with his wife Weziwe and their children in the house in question . Fikile tells us that when he was arrested in 1976, he left a home that had no conflict. However, on his release, he was greeted by a family in conflict. Apparently, the boy’s father was at loggerheads with Vuyisile and Mhlupheki because they were destroying his business. Seeing the lack of discipline Vuyisile and Mhlupheki displayed, and the disrespect with which they treated their father, Fikile intervened, and that, according to him, is where the problem started.
Vuyisile and MhluphekiVS:
Fikile
Mhlupheki has gone as far as going to the courts to have Fikile removed from the house since he won’t let them into their home, and because he feels the matter has gotten out of hand. Rituals that need to be performed at home cannot be done because of this lack of access. In return, Fikile filed a restraining order against his brothers.
Vuyisile also adds that they still need to unveil their father’s tombstone and put one in for their mother, and all this needs to be done in the family home.
Filkile is extremely adamant that his brother’s must know that he is the authority in that house, and they should not forget that. He also isn’t trying to mend the relationship between him and his brothers, because he knows very well that that will ever happen, all he wants, is for them to know who the authority is. He further goes on to say that if the other brothers miss their parents, they must do as he does and visit them at the graveyard.
So like that, it’s off to Zastron to fetch the elders. The meeting is to be held in a mutual place because of the restraining order.(Doesn’t a restraining order mean they musn’t come within a certain distance of each other, or maybe its restraining them from the house?)
The undertone of the meeting is set by the boardroom type of place where the meeting is held. The “chairman” asks that the boys humble themselves and listen to each other when talking.
Poppy is first to talk and apologises for bringing KK into this matter, and explains why she felt it necessary. She is then told that an apology is not necessary as what she has done was a good effort to return peace to her family.
Vuyisile, being the oldest, is asked to speak first, and to summarise, he says:
• He has issues with having to ask Fikile’s wife every time he wants to do something in his parent’s house, his home.
• Also is not happy that Fikile went ahead and made renovations to the house with out consulting them.
• There was no will that implicitly said the house is handed to Fikile
• Wants them to reunite and fix their past mistakes.
To add to this, Mhlupheki has the following to say:
• No one is saying Fikile must leave the house, all they want is access to the house, the same access they had when their parents were still alive
• Also wants Fikile’s wife to lose the attitude she has. He says his and Vuyisile’s wives get along, and she should do the same.
• He also tells the meeting that their children actually get along (all the children, Fikile’s included), and often call each other, besides the problems that exist between their fathers
Having heard from the accusers (my Boston legal lingo escapes me now), the defendant, Fikile, is given a chance to speak.
He starts by declaring that he has confidence in the Qithi’s and says he’s being accused of “destroying” the family.
What he has to say is:
• He is not living there by mistake, he is living in his father’s house, and there is no problem there.
• Emphasizes the fact that their father died angry at Vuyisile and Mhlupheki.
• He also says that his father told him to stay in that house.
And like that, all sides of the story have been heard. The members of the meeting are then given permission to ask questions or make comments.
One of the uncles comments that some families have as many as 12 or 13 children, but are able to resolve their issues, so he fails to understand how when there’s only 3 of them, they shouldn’t be able to do the same.
Mamcane starts by telling Poppy to act as an example to Fikile’s wife in showing her how to be a good daughter in law (hehe, I’d be fuming if I was Fikile’s wife). She then talks to Vuyisile about the comments he made about the renovations. She feels that the renovations are a good thing, showing that there is someone living in that house.
The chairman then says that the conclusion is to try and restore the home.(I’m not too sure how we got to that conclusion, because I was waiting for drama from Fikile about his authority) He then asks Vuyisile to lead the way, as the eldest. So Vuyisile violates the restraining order by going to Fikile, shaking his hand, and reciting a speech of forgiveness. Mhlupheki does the same, asking for forgiveness.
Fikile genuinely looked touched and humbled I must say.
So, this story ends like that. However, I don’t really think the “meeting” achieved what it aimed to. The issue here is that Vuyi and Mhlu have no access to their home, I was hoping to hear from Fikile exactly why that is the case, and I think if he had explained that, the conclusion would have been much clearer. Oh well.
So once again, we are left with a “hope all will be well”.
Story 2 The second story is a common one, child looking for father. In this case, Lerato Bridget Ngobeni wants to reunite with her father, whom she hasn’t seen in 10-11 years. Her brothers, Tshepo and Fondo have never seen their father. Lerato was raised by her mother’s employer, while her brothers were raised by their grandmother.
She says she once went to her father, needing money for takkies or something like that, but he just sent her away, like he didn’t care.
She is, however, hoping that finding her father will bring her family closer together.
LeratoWe also meet Tshepo, Lerato’s brother, who lives in Makapanstad with his grandmother. Tshepo says he had actually let the issue of his father go, till Lerato wrote to KK. He wants to ask his father why he was not a part of his life. He feels that if he had grown up with his father around, he might have achieved more that what he already has. He also stresses that he wants nothing from his father, only to see him.
Tshepo tried to convince his brother to come with to meet their father, but as Andile so diplomatically put it, the other brother “was not ready to meet his father”.
Now, with stories like this, I’m take particular interest in how the father will justify his absence, and this time was no different.
Tshepo and his grandmother
When we meet Elias Bailoyi, he seems like an ailing man with little problems in life. He is living Malamulela at the moment. He tells us that he left his children in 1990, after their mother chased him away from Bramely (where she was working) at 23:30, even the whilte owners told him never to set foot there again. Seeing that their mother was capable of killing him, he never set foot there again. Right now, he doesn’t have strength to go to Hamanskraal because he is so sick. He tells us that he remembers that Lerato once came to ask for money, but he had none, so she cried, not understanding the situation.
Elias
When Lerato, Tshepo, and their grandmother get there, introductions are made, with Lerato then explaining why se wrote to KK.
Elias says he is glad that they came, and when it’s Tshepo’s turn to talk, it’s clear that he doesn’t even know where to start. Eventually, Tshepo tells him they don’t really want anything from him, except to know him, and understand why he left. So Elias explains, and Lerato doesn’t buy it, because he could have made more of an effort, especially since her mother used to bring her to him.
They ask about their siblings, and Elias tell them that he has many children scattered all over the place.(My goodness, the father’s that appear on KK are birds of a feather). Tshepo also asks about any traditional rituals that might need to be performend, but Elias says that since he has become a christian, he no longer practises things like that.
They then agree that they will remain in touch telephonically (although Elias just seems like a complacent old man who was just agreeing to anything).
I was hoping to see some of the siblings, particularly because Elias didn’t answer when asked whether they were older or younger…shady. But I guess these types of stories all end the same way. KK should really do a follow up episode on all these child looking for father stories.
And bummer, no pictures of missing people at the end today.