Friends Ex

Written by nomag001 from the blog Unsettled Heart on 04 Apr 2008
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I'am going through the worst thing any girl can go through..being inlove with a friends ex and knowing that the feeling is mutual. 

I dont know what to do with these feelings, actually the dude and I both dont know how to solve this, this is so terrible because I was there whn the guy bri=oke my friends heart, I was there through the tears, I was there when the guy was dating other girls, I was there when my friend couldnt get out of bed in the mornings because of these other girls..and now..Im one of those girls. The problem with this is that she's not over the guy and its been 4 years already.

I really like him, actually I think Im inlove with him and the feeling is mutual.
what to do...please help


04 Apr 2008 02:46

Hi Nomag

A friend does not have anything to do with a friend's X once they break up.
What makes you think that he wont do what he did to your friend?
Do you real love your friend ...because in my case ... if someone breaks my friend's heart, it means he broke my heart too.

if you need my advise, here is it
 ...DONT GO FOR IT (some loosers are sweet-talkers so dont fall for it), because you will loose your friend over the guy that will soon break your heart and worse you wont have a friends shoulder to cry on

Fluffy Head
04 Apr 2008 02:57

Ok 4 words you evil person you:

Jokes: serioously....there is a rule (unspoken and unwritten n any book as it may be) call it the eleventh commandment

You break it, you deserve to go to hell. The big book says so girl, not fluffy...Shooo you are bad - if I was your friend I would dump you too. How can you do that mara e?

04 Apr 2008 03:01

A leopard will never change its spots.Any shame to you what are you thinking,Fluffy Head is right " THOU SHALL NOOT DO YOUR SISTA'S MAAN OOR EX.

04 Apr 2008 03:04

Nomag...i think you know the answer. how can you even consider that? please see below a poem that was sent to me it might shed some light. After that just after that just ask yourself if you're anything like that to your "friend" (well that's wat you call here)

What is a Friend?

A friend is
Someone who cares about you,
Someone who likes you just the way you are.

A friend is
Someone who does things with you,
Someone who keeps your secrets.

A friend is
Someone who sometimes gets angry with you,
Someone who might hurt your feelings sometimes
even when they don’t mean to.

A friend is
Someone who comforts you when you’re sad,
Someone who laughs with you when you’re happy.

A friend is
Someone who wants to be with you,
Someone who enjoys your company.

A friend is
Someone you’ll remember always
Even when they grow up and move away.

A friend is
Someone who is loyal and says good things about you,
Someone who gets mad if someone else is mean to you.

A friend is
A link to someone’s humanity like food for the soul to share,
Someone to hold onto when life’s follies bring despair.

A friend is
F-frank, R-righteous, I-intrepid, E-earnest, N-noble, D-decent

A friend is a friend—always!

04 Apr 2008 03:04

haaaahh Fluffy thats so harsh girl*****  but hey gotta take it like a woman, alright ya'll this guy is no player..I think I might have omitted a couple of things, he's a really cool guy, very caring and friend just had issues..I know this is going to sound horrible but she really had her own issues which she should have dealt with before getting involved with him coz she brought over a lot of baggage thus the break-up.

04 Apr 2008 03:08

A friend is Someone who might hurt your feelings sometimes
even when they don’t mean to. I dont mean to hurt her feelings.... I didnt go out of my way to have feelings for this guy!!!

04 Apr 2008 03:09

@nomag001 he's a really cool guy, very caring and considerate. If he was all that he wouldn't be thinking of doing his ex's friend...DO NOT make excuses for him.

04 Apr 2008 03:11

But you cant do your friends ex Nomag...doesnt matter why they broke up. You're supposed to be supporting ur friend no matter what....and what makes u think ur relationship with him will last anyway

04 Apr 2008 03:12

@nomag001 Oh that's the only line that is appealing to you? well done you have a point out of a hundred.

04 Apr 2008 03:15

lol, guys what are you getting yourselves into?? if you're not cheating on your Mr right, you're stabbing your friend in the back. Can i ask how you know the feeling is mutual btw you and friend's ex? Have you talked abt your feelings for each other already? What is clear here is that you've been keeping your eye on your friend's man all this time!

04 Apr 2008 03:15


No matter from what angle you look at this from, if you continue to entertain this idea, you will lose your friend. If she loved this guy to the point that she could not get out of bed in the mornings from the pain he caused her.. she will not bless this relationship. You need to decide which relationship means more to you, and make a decision. One thing is certain, you cannot have them both in your life. 

04 Apr 2008 03:20

I was talking to a guy friend of mine yesterday about this and he shed some light about this...he says the best way to approach this is by talking to my friend (this is where the honesty part comes in) about my feelings for the guy and asking her if she would have a problem with me dating him, and  if she does have a problem, I then go back to the guy and tell him to handle the situation. he also said one profound statement " Never let anything or anyone stand in the way of your happiness"

04 Apr 2008 03:20

well said black rose ....Nomag i also think u need to choose the relationship that matters the most to you . ANd can i tell u something....u dont meet friends often who'll be in you life as long as your friend has (did u say 4 yrs, i might be wrong)

04 Apr 2008 03:20

noma how could you even think about it. Clearly you have been communicating  this guy for these feelings to "appear". Sorry but  my friends are not allowed to call my man and my man is not allowed to call my girls, under no circumstances because of "friends" like Noma. I don't trust nobody. Even if it is my ex you can't be friends with them. FINISH EN KLAAR!!!!!!!

04 Apr 2008 03:23

A friend is Someone who might hurt your feelings sometimes
even when they don’t mean to. I dont mean to hurt her feelings.... I didnt go out of my way to have feelings for this guy!!!

U sound like my ex who went for my parter full force and the excuse I got is the one you are using.

Do what you think it's rite, none of us can tell u what to do.

04 Apr 2008 03:23

@Nomagt i was there when the guy was dating other girls ................ And you say it was your friend's fault ?????????????????????? If you rae a true friend leave that man because men can come and go but true friends are hard to come by so girl dont do it to your friend its pain allover for your friend when she finds out.

And how did you come to hook up with the EX

04 Apr 2008 03:23

@Nomagt i was there when the guy was dating other girls ................ And you say it was your friend's fault ?????????????????????? If you rae a true friend leave that man because men can come and go but true friends are hard to come by so girl dont do it to your friend its pain allover for your friend when she finds out.

And how did you come to hook up with the EX

04 Apr 2008 03:25

me thinks Nomag has been eyeing this guy for a very long time ..

04 Apr 2008 03:28

" Never let anything or anyone stand in the way of your happiness" hhay'ke shem wangiqeda amandla!

04 Apr 2008 03:28

never let anyone stand in the way of your happiness, whoever said that was a very selfish person. Please don't stand by that principle. If she is a selfless friend, she will say she doesn't have a problem, in that case puting you first. Even though she knows that it hurts her. She will be putting your hapiness before hers, so why can't you do the same. There are pleanty of guys out there why did it have to be him. Sometimes we choose to fall in love.

04 Apr 2008 03:29

I knew the guy before they he's been in my life longer, and I wasnt going to stop being friends with him just because he was dating my know what life is just soo unfair.. this guy could be my soul mate and I cant have him just because he dated my friend, its not as if they were married, they were just dating...come now're telling me to let go of something that could possibly be a good thing???????

04 Apr 2008 03:31

she has definitely been eyeing this guy for a long time. coz love just does not appear from nowhere. you have been doing things behind your friends back. you are not telling everything.

04 Apr 2008 03:32

me thinks Nomag has been eyeing this guy for a very long time ..

Zolx, me thinks that too!

04 Apr 2008 03:33

what if he is not your soulmate, then you lose them both.

04 Apr 2008 03:34

Nomag the only thing I see hear is a guy who breaks womens hearts and enjoy and is proud of it. He is cool, caring and considearte to you, have you considered the fact that he was the same with ur friend at teh beginning (bcoz what could take ur friend 4 yrs to get over him if not that). The charming skills his using with u is those he used with ur friend b4 he broke her heart. The excuse about ur friend bring bagagge from the past, its pathetic, some1 who loves u dearly helps u deal with ur baggage and in the mean time unloads his (coz we all have baggage). You are willing to see ur friends mistakes but not his, sisi kahle ngembatyo "friends are siblings that Gaad forgot to give us', love ur friend enough to see her man as ur brother, the loser that broke her heart as an arsehole and a goodman that is eye-ing her a potential (for her of course). You can make all the excuses u want ma baby but "once a cheater always a cheater", if u say he cheated on ur friend but he wont cheat on u, what r u saying, that u r better than ur friend, nigga pls I aint judging u, but I'd rather have no friend than some1 like u. the best thing that you can do is "invite that loser over for dinner, spike his drink and once his drunk tie him to a chair, call ur friend to come out form the closet and chop of his good for nothing masende.

Thats my 1003 rands worth.

04 Apr 2008 03:35

next thing you will be telling your next friend who is married it's not like they have child. but the fact remains that the feeling if love is the same!!!!!!!!!

04 Apr 2008 03:38

i meant, the feeling of love

04 Apr 2008 03:40

Eyeeing is so out of context here....he's always been in my life and I never had feelings ( atleast love feelings) for him...., seriously guys I never saw him as a potential, its just recently when we started spending time together that we both came to realise the chemistry between us......please ya'll dont judge me Im not a bad person, its just unfortunate that the guy, who could possibly be my future has dated a friend of mine.

04 Apr 2008 03:41

lol, guys what are you getting yourselves into?? if you're not cheating on your Mr right, you're stabbing your friend in the back. Can i ask how you know the feeling is mutual btw you and friend's ex? Have you talked abt your feelings for each other already? What is clear here is that you've been keeping your eye on your friend's man all this time! @Tox

Me thinks so too!!! On a lighter note though...there is a Blog called "What did u say ur name was?"....Its Friday Guys lets not spoil the mood.

Lets all be Happy!!!!

04 Apr 2008 03:42

@nomag001...its not like they were married...i dont believ u jus thot dat...let alone say it out loud.  Are u sure u like yo friend?

There's an unspoken code btn dont date each otherz exes...period....cant believe u wud even consider somethin like dat...wat kinda friend does dat make u.

What makes u think things are gonna be any different with u and this guy...he's still da same SOB who cheated on ya friend.....& wen he doz it to u.....u gonna feel so much worse...coz u will have lost a friend over dis philander.

04 Apr 2008 03:43

@Nomag: there was once a mot (moth), as she was growing up she saw some of her siblings/ parents getting fascinated by the glittering of the light. but sadly she also noticed how they were absorbed by the light and end up burning to death. She discovered a strategy that she will go to the lamp, but unlike her stupid  relatives she will approach the light from teh sides, that she did, her curioisity got the better of her, and where did she end, right in where all her relatives ended in the fire.

let me brake it down for you nigger.

You are the mot, ur friend is the mot's relative and this guy is the light (in the lamp). u can try approaching this relationship from all angles (like leaving all the baggage behind), but at teh end sisi u will end up heart boken (maybe for 8 yrs), beleiev me when i say this.

*FYI moth (those flies that liek playing around and on top of the lamp, esp paraffin lamp)

04 Apr 2008 03:49

Nomag, you seem to have made up your mind abt this guy. go for it BUT PLEASE blog abt it, i'd be interested in finding out how this pans out.

04 Apr 2008 03:51

@Nomag ...knew the guy before they he's been in my life longer

if he loved you he would have told you then .....he doesnt love your dear, that guy is heartless.

04 Apr 2008 03:52

ooh andi01 that's a bit harsh....(personal reminder not to get on ur wrong side..LOL)

04 Apr 2008 03:57

you will never understand until you are in the situation yourself, its easy giving advise when you are outside of the bubble.

04 Apr 2008 03:58

@Nomag -  You keep defending the realationship so whatever we say you are going to do your thing it seems you have decided already all i can say is good luck but be careful you wont have a shoulder to cry on when the guy breaks your heart because your friend definatly wont be there for you

04 Apr 2008 04:01

Okay! Nomag... and almal! 

I once found myself in the same situation - and believe me I had not eyed the dude at all while he dated my best friend. He treated her so bad that when they broke up I was relieved that she could find a better guy... 

Then, he pursued me, and was completely different from his relationship with my friend! I came clean to my friend that he was pursuing me and asked her honest opinion on my move because I admitted I was developing feelings for the dude. She was devastated because they had only been broken up 3 months or so. She said she doesn't know how she felt about it, while crying, and I must decide. So I went ahead and dated the guy!

I did tell her about my decision though! We dated a good 4 years - at some point spoke about marriage and all the stuff... We were happy and i called him for a long time, the love of my life.. AND then when I started working (now you know this was a long time ago) He beat the ish out of me because I had gone to a work function and he had planned a surprise for me! I left him! ANd now King is my true love of my life! My best friend is still my bestest friend in the world and I love her to bits - she supported me thru that break-up too!

So, my point is - some things are not always in black and white, clear and dry - Nomags, you have to come clean to your friend. Be honest. Find out how she would feel and what she would like you to do, then make a decision that you can live with.

04 Apr 2008 04:02

Welcome to TVSA Nomang!!!

04 Apr 2008 04:06

04 Apr 2008 04:07

Hallo Allo everybody, im new here.......I had a similar situation a while back but hve been trying so hard to defeat the temptation. Ok here's the story.....Ive been friends with this lady from childhood (i mean we grew up like twins- insperable) even went 2 church 2gether and did everything together....

There's this guy @ Church which is her EX (they broke up about 9 yrs ago)....the guy was proposing to me and i was playing hard to get " you know mos ha o le teenager" and he ended up dating my friend just to get back at me....Thing is I really had feelings 4 him till today the connection is till there!!

My freind loved him whole heartedly & he ended up breaking up with her just after he has slept with her......she was so broken, down and out and I was her pillar of strength, It happened that my friend relocated and we were not that close anymore. The guy proposed 2 me and we dated for a few months, we were so in love but I clndt ignore my concience & I broke up with him.

Now the problem is that i still have feelings for him and worst of all he also does, its 7 yrs now but everytime I see him my stomach growls.....

@ Nomag, I fully understand what yo situation is & I knw how it feels!!!!!

04 Apr 2008 04:08

Its oviyas that you have made up your want your friends Ex in bed so go for it mara Mina I dont think you should even have the thought of doing your friends ex in your mind, kodwa ke as the body sometimes has a mind of its own, and want the forbidden. do what  you think is right and remember to take responsibility for what ever happens after

04 Apr 2008 04:14

Thanks for that Segololo...
Im sure that things will not be the same between us as they were between my friend and him, they could be great and they could be bad and until I try this I will never know..Im willing to give this a go and I will talk to my friend about this..not that it will stop me when she says she's not cool with it but atleast I would have been honest with her

04 Apr 2008 04:15

@Nomag .... seriously guys I never saw him as a potential, its just recently when we started spending time together that we both came to realise the chemistry between us.

you real have a problem dear, how could you spend time with someone who broke your friend's heart ...hhayi suka

04 Apr 2008 04:18

Nomang to me it seems like already  u hv made yo' decision coz when my chomiez are givin' u advises you become all defensive & stuff....
There is something that is called EMPATHY where you see yo'self in the very same situatin as the other person infact you put yo'self in the same shoes and think if it was yo' friend thikin' the same way how wud you feel?????????

Iyandonyanyisa indlela ocinga ngayo coz THIS is one of the reasons why guys like him take every woman for granted...
Stop fooling us and continue with the secret romance but beware of the Consequences......

There is a saying that goes like: Boyfriends come & Go but FAMILY & FRIENDS will always be there for you....

04 Apr 2008 04:23

noma its  obviously  you awant this relationship.  Go  on my dear  sis. and get hurt but  please  get you friend out of the picture  cause its obviuosly  his ex its more important to you  than  your  friend.

And   once  he's  done with  you ,you'll be left with   no-one to cry to. Enjoy  while 's playing  his favourite game with you

04 Apr 2008 04:27

@ Mayandie....I wish you guys could meet this guy, he's really amazing, I think ya'll misunderstood a part of my story, he dated the other girls after they had broken up and not while they  were dating, so he didnt cheat on her, and they've been apart for 4 years and mind you she has moved on with her life...I think its so unfair that someone should have a say over who I date...even if that person is my friend.
Honestly I wouldnt have a problem( Okay maybe a little) if a friend of mine wanted to date an EX ( Its happened before) because who am I decide on a persons destiny..what if they are destined to be together.

04 Apr 2008 04:27

@young todie, where you from girl???????

04 Apr 2008 04:27

Induku enhle igawula ezizweni haayi e next door. so YOU DONT DO YOUR FREINDS EX no matter the situation

04 Apr 2008 04:34

This ma baby is a recipe for disastor trust me. A month or 2 ago, a guy who was shaging a frined (not best friend), approached me. He was honest with me that he and my frend are shag partners and I can ask her if i want in his presence, but he wants me to be his girlfriend, he is looking for a relationship. I liked the guy very much. I told this friend of mine and she said she didnt mind if i go out with him. I told the guy that i wont go out with him if she is still shaggiing ma frend, he promised to stop and he did. When he stopped and we were getting closer,(b4 we shag, thanks Ntate Lekganyane), my friend bcame extrmely jealous. she called me names and spread teh word around that man I stole her man. i was heart broken bcoz i have spoken 2 her and she said she doesnt mind. I dumped the guy and i moved outa de area. I am back now and the guy is after me like hell. I loove the guy very much, but i know what that will do to ma frend, so ichoose to be a better friend and think about her feelings before mine, even though she did think twice about spreading rumours about me. 2 wrongs dont makea right, i am a better friend than she is and I am proud!!!!!!!!!!!!!

04 Apr 2008 04:39

i believe she use to tell you about everything THEY DO their sexlife and all that 
that is why u want to go and shag the guy 

04 Apr 2008 04:40

nomag, i can "hear" from your words that you really love this guy and in a way you make sense abt someone taking control over your destiny. It's definitely a tough one and i wonder what i would do if it was me this was happening to (especially since you've known this guy for years).......eish sisi wishing you strength to talk to your friend abt it but what you still haven't answered is HOW YOU GUYS GOT TO DECLARING EACH OTHER'S LOVE FOR EACH OTHER?

Please share-i'm done judging!

04 Apr 2008 04:49

I believe dating someone who has dated your friend is  sign of jelousy or you want to be a mini her. This means your friendshp is based on competetion what she has you can have. Since it didnt work with her you think it will work with you and hence you are the victor here. 
There was tryra's that highlighted this issue and its so right sometimes we want to compete with our friends unconsciously look at it seriuosly maybe for you its an i can do t better situation , had he not dated your friend maybe you wouldnt even like him. Its because of all the things he did to your freind ( u kno the kiss n tell with us girls) that you want also even if there were not happy they must have been at one time and its that which you want for yourself also. 

I guess its hard for me to understand since me and my friends dont have the same taste in men so i will never find myself being attracted to her BF or Ex

04 Apr 2008 04:52

Imagine comparing notes with your friend! "Does he still like the 69 position?" I'd rather not because each time the three of us are together I'd be wondering if there's still that attraction between them. It'd drive me crazy!!!

04 Apr 2008 04:54

@ I said earlier we just started spending time together, going out and stuff and we both realised the development of feelings between us and his friends have confirmed his feelings for me, we've spoken about how scandalous this could be ( note that Im saying could, coz nothing has officially happened between us) but we are both willing to give it a go, it will be tough at first but she'll get used to it.

04 Apr 2008 04:58

People..its not about sleeping with this guy..thats the furthest thing from my mind and I know for a fact that they never slept together, so there wont be no comparing of anything

04 Apr 2008 04:59

@Nomag tell the truth you have been sleeping with the guy  even the time they were together?

04 Apr 2008 05:05

U r rite Suzy 82....
sukusiTuja wena do whateva u want to to and ukhumbule ukuba LEMIN'INI YEZA NAKUWE...........................................

04 Apr 2008 05:06

they've been apart for 4 years bathong.....I think even if there was a rule, that rule should have an expiry date...4 years that's long enough, if I had my eye on this guy like mosy of you are saying dont you think I would have made a move on him during the 4 years, believe me people this just happened, it was not orchestrated.

04 Apr 2008 05:09

noma, no matter how you try explaining it, you don't sound like a nice person. Your wording says it all. You have been thinking about yourself the whole time and don't lie that your friends feelings ever crossed your mind, if they did you would have not allowed it to go that far.

04 Apr 2008 05:13

note that Im saying could, coz nothing has officially happened between us,  it better not happen nigga, coz if it does, i swear amigo, i'll track you down and when i find u, die poppe sal dans,

04 Apr 2008 05:14

i understand

04 Apr 2008 05:14

I agree with BestAchiever that is not on gal u cant do that to your friend unless u want to loose her and i'm telling u'll loose her. How can you do that to her and what is worse is that u know what kind of a guy he is and you r thinking of being with him well DONT. I have an ex who i used his cellphone to call my friend whom he met once and i forgot to delete her numbers next thing my friend is calling me in the morning that i need to cum at her place its urgent and boo my boyfriend sent her an sms telling to sleep tyt and how cute she is while i didnt receive any gud night sms so i ditch at that i didnt even want to hear his story and i have never seen him since so other friend r trsutworthy and i luv her for showing me that the first time it happend and then again he sent her an sms again night after that. 

So be a gud friend and not do it only for the sake of ur friendship and i hope he  is not worth it. The first day i met my friend i told her that what ever happens between us a man must never cum btwn us so she stuk by the rule then if there no rules in ur friendship then thre is no future for it.

04 Apr 2008 05:15

Noma Babes, talking from experience, no one will understand how u feel until it happens 2 them....................u knw excatly what u want to do but have it crossed yo mind that u need to discuss it with yo friend first coz one way or the other she 's gonna find out???

04 Apr 2008 05:29

The problem with this is that she's not over the guy...

You need to decide which relationship means more to you, and make a decision. One thing is certain, you cannot have them both in your life. 

Enough said...


04 Apr 2008 05:29

So now this is something else, they never had sex, you mean never, then ke you can go out with him, its obvious u think he''ll saty with u coz u can give it to him, duh. I applaude ur friend for not giving it to him, he didnt desreve hers, since wena and that guy are a mealie from the same bag, please go out with him nad give it to him and he breaks ur heart and when u need a shoulder to cry on, ur friend will be there but will u have the gut sto go to her

04 Apr 2008 05:29

@Nomag-I know for a fact that they never slept together, so there wont be no comparing of anything.

GAL shame on you!

04 Apr 2008 05:33

04 Apr 2008 05:39

This one girl was dating my brother and she became pregnant, when she was pregant we becane very close. kanti all along the child she is caring is my boyfriends child.
What happened is I saw that the child was my man's but i didnt say anything, i waited 4 her 2 tell, me, i was hurting soo bad, but i put her feelings first. Atlast she came 2 me and confessesd, I told her that he needs 2 tell ma brother the truth, b4 he hears it from some1 else, she did. I dumped the mafacka (4 cheating and impregnating and hiding the whole thing). teh girl is still ma friend. yes he slept with ma man, so waht she didnt rape him. She wasnt suppose to tell me what happened he was (coz he was ma man) & de bottom line is she was honest with ma brada. Now she is lyk a sister 2 me, i have forgiven her and i luv her child like he were ma own. maybe ur friend will also forgive u sometime, but it wont be easy, I promise you, i am talkin from experience

04 Apr 2008 05:40

ag shame hulle!

04 Apr 2008 05:41

My friend went out with my ex and she knew i still loved him BUT she still went out with him, and guess what? he did the same to her..!
He is going to do the same to you...!

Eish why doesn't anyone write about careers, economy or Zimbabwe...relationships open old wounds...LOL

04 Apr 2008 05:49

I don't think what we say here would change anything, it sound as if Nomag has already made her decision. Hope you can live with yourself.

04 Apr 2008 05:49

nam ndidikiwe zezothando esp on a Friday noon sum of us r shoe makers (isishumane).

04 Apr 2008 06:07

i wish i can be strong like you Andi i like revenge too much 
the was this girl she was my friend ,she had a broblem with her b/f so she came to me as a friend and a sister ,she didn't have a place to stay and her home was far Newcastle i told that she can stay with me and my man and i was working night shift ,and  i was providing everything for her myLOVE , food,toiletries,clothes ,pocket money 
 didn't think the bia***can shag my man and thank me with a plate of k**** 

I don't want the bi***next to me she is with one scar of a bottle kop on her face and the reason why i did that i hate to be fool

04 Apr 2008 06:13

tjooo Suzzy jy is n gevarlike dame. u dnt let anyone mess wth u nhe?

04 Apr 2008 06:14

Honey this guy he just want to fuck,after he got what he want ,u will know the real him,they always say ,u will never know the person until you sleep with him,Smooth talkers dont play near them,your frnd will think you plan this for a long time

honey is not easy to get best frnd nowadays,pls dont spoil that

04 Apr 2008 06:21

Suzzy I hope he has the same car.

04 Apr 2008 06:22

Suzzy i hope he has the same scar.

04 Apr 2008 06:23

Either you are very naïve or seriously hate your friend. I hope your friend kicks your ass and never forgives you. With friends like you who needs enemies

04 Apr 2008 06:31

suzzy85.....are you Tina "bangiloyile"?????

04 Apr 2008 06:34

nomag001-eish i'm thinking u're regretting why you asked for advice in the 1st place nhe?

04 Apr 2008 06:35

@Toxic :sometimes hi hi hi

04 Apr 2008 06:39

People they are long over...any who @Andi, you should write a book, your stories sana, how old are you?...coz from what I can here you've experienced more drama than anyone I know...Brothers girlfriend empragnated by your boyfriend...thats Jerry Springer right there

04 Apr 2008 06:41

@Dabs :he has one at the back and in the palm of his hand, i didn't get him the way i want his day will come

04 Apr 2008 06:42

the guy and I are going on another date next week, will keep you guys updated on the happenings.

04 Apr 2008 06:43

Shame uNomag wabantu secabanga nge SOULMATE, hayi sisi maybe usisishumane or UUMBI. Awukabikho involved with lo mfana (if that's true) but sowuthetha lo lingo. Gal u are desperate. 
Go out man and meet new faces, uyeke i ex ye chomi, man ayikho grand le way PERIOD. Zithande sana.

04 Apr 2008 06:47

@Dabs :he has one at the back and in the palm of his hand, i didn't get him the way i want his day will come

HAHHAHAHAHAAHA, suzzy82, i am so scared of you right now!

04 Apr 2008 06:52

dont do it,the onlything i know he can even buy you a car,once he finish with you,the bank they will come n take d car,PLS dont  take Segololo advice,people are very very cruel in this world.

04 Apr 2008 06:54

Nomag my luv it seems like you have already made up your mind, you only wanted to hear other people's opinions. Lol ask your friend how she feels about the whole saga & hear what she has to say. 

Go on & dig your own grave doll...Good luck you sure gonna need it!

04 Apr 2008 06:55

Guys i think u are just being judgemental here,something like this can happen to anyone and u dont choose to fall inlove.i know what u going thru girl and i have been in a similar situation best friend broke up with her boyfriend about two years ago coz the guy called it quits as he felt he didnt really love my friend,they then became just friends but the guy fell inlove with me and told me i was evrything he'd ever wanted..i also fell for him ,then one day one thing led to another and we slept together,but because we didnt wanna hurt my friend we never continued with the relationship and we tried hard to fight our feelings for each other..

we just then decided to just become friends and not ever let my friend find out coz we knew of the consequences..he then went to study in cape town and thats where he is now(i am in Botswana by the way)..but whenever he comes home he comes to see me and we talk a lot and he still maintains he can never find somebody like me and he wishes we could just tell my friend and move on with our lives..i now have a boyfriend that i love deeply but about a week ago this guy came over and told me he got a job in cape town and wants me to move there with him..i didnt know what to say as i still have feelings for him and i know that if it wasnt for my friend he and i would probably be married by now..i know his feelings for me are genuine and he is such an amazing guy...

i now have to live with the pain of knowing i can never have the one true love of my life because i dont wanna lose my hurts the both of us to know that we can never be though sometimes we feel maybe we should just let her know but because we both care about her we just cant get ourselves to do it so its us who'd rather hurt  than her...i live with guilt everyday knowing that i slept with my friend's ex but its something i will go to my grave wit....

sorry for such a long reply guys..

04 Apr 2008 07:01

@parks-we slept together-

Shu shu sisi, U had sex with him & the feelings then gonne. It's brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr on the coke side of life.

04 Apr 2008 07:04

Parks, why aren't you gold yet?

04 Apr 2008 07:08

Parks thats horrible..having found your true love and letting them go just like that..Im not saying one should just do you what they feel like doing, ofcourse you have to be considerate but sometimes, you're only hurting yourself..what happens when your friend has moved on, she gets married to someone else, you on the other hand are still single coz you let go of the one thing that God gave you, just because of a little relationship he had with your friend, then you never reach your destiny because of a little relationship they had, when she's married she will probably not even remember it..come now guys get your heads out of the clouds and be real...if any of you met the one and they happen to be your friends ex's believe you would also be contemplating on giving the relationship a shot.

04 Apr 2008 07:09

@parks: u can say we are judgemental about it as much as you like ,one thing i know you don't love ur friend.period

04 Apr 2008 07:11

Parks, why aren't you gold yet@Toxic, coz she hasnt shagged, her solumate, once she does, she'll be blinking gold from teeth to the toe nails.

04 Apr 2008 07:13


04 Apr 2008 07:14

PARks  things are bad in life
@parks are you in Botswana pls help m my dear im looking for frnd of mine,she used to stay in pretoria now she is a teacher,i lost her cell no,by 2006,her name is PUNKIE

04 Apr 2008 07:18


ROFL at Mathata's question to Parks.....PUNKIE ko Botswana? Hmm, she must stand out from the POPULATION!

04 Apr 2008 07:23

the guy I was with(will call him loser)  4 almost 3 years, was ma exboyfriends' (lets call him arsehole) friend, arsehole is the one that that impregnated my friend (lets call (Naive), and it was wierd, everytime we met. arsehole with his girlfriend (lets call her dumbass) (who by the way is loser's ex girlfriend). It was as if someone can comeup and say come guys just swop, you've doen it before surely u can do it again.

Its like this: Loser dated dumbass for a month or so
 I dated arsehole for 1 year, she impregnated Naive during that time
Loser dumped dumbass and dumbass dated arsehole (& they leaving miserable ever after)
i dumped arsehole and dated loser (we lived happy at first then it was miserable until i called it quits)

04 Apr 2008 07:26

sorry im not Gold guys...

mathata yes im in Botswana,whats ur friend's surname and any info besides her name that can help me find her?

i do love my friend thats why i havent told her what i did and i gave up on any chance of having a relationship with the guy..what she doesnt know wont hurt her and im gonna keep it that way..

04 Apr 2008 07:30

Toxic..maybe u can tell me what im supposed to do to be Gold??

04 Apr 2008 07:30

ya'll are a crazy bunch LMAO @ all of you , parks o hlobola  neng diaparo tse ntsho ngwaneso ???????

04 Apr 2008 07:33

parks pls in the name of love im begging you to help me,her lastname is DEMADEMA,she is a zcc member,i ask your embassy to help me,but i didnt work
@TOXIC Wa xalana,i realy love that  girl

04 Apr 2008 07:40

@ MATHATA..i hope u are not playing a prank on me..DEMADEMA.???..are u sure ur friend is from around here?..where about in Botswana did she say she is from?

04 Apr 2008 07:41

parks, i can't even recall how it's done--do a search on gold!

04 Apr 2008 07:46

demadema??? LMAO!!!!!

04 Apr 2008 07:52

yes ,she used to stay in pretoria cnr BOSMAN N PRETORIOS,in TIME PLACE is d name of the flat,n she endup staying with MITA,so she went back home,d time i came home by d holidays by 2006 i call her n she was working as a teacher  at primary school,the main fact she is a ZCC

Parks im serios,i know ke seele but not like this,OOOOOOOk o apara dibrele,but pls help m,PUNKIE DEMADEMA

04 Apr 2008 07:56

mathata, how's canada?

04 Apr 2008 07:57

Nomag darling if u think datin the dude is a gud thing then go for it bt keep it in mind that u r hurting ur frnd and just knw that she will never trust u with anything. 

04 Apr 2008 08:02

@ Toxic mathata, how's canada?,  kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa, haybo LOL, i just cant stop laughing, eish Toxic mara why man??????????, kwa kwa kwa

04 Apr 2008 08:06

@ Toxic mathata, how's canada, b u are so unfair why arent you asking me hows Europe, well I'll tell u in any case. Today a man was robbed near the bus stop. no one did anything tehy just said "hay shame umntana bantu" LOL

04 Apr 2008 08:07

@toxic is just ok,but next year is my last year,immmmm coming home no more posting,finish n klaar

04 Apr 2008 08:09

Tox, please dear! You are moderator... just change parks profile to Gold! There isn't anything s/he has to do! YOU as Mod and the amins must change her!

04 Apr 2008 08:12

ASK Cande how she did it ,she used to be black and sungone helped her dunno who or how but she was sorted

04 Apr 2008 08:14

@andi01 i dont see anything wrong,what do u mean when u say umtana bantu,anyway those things is - things

@PARKS,PLS IM SERIOS,IM LEAVING people they  start to behave like lions

04 Apr 2008 08:16

Nomag u lost me wen u started 2 say u r in luv with him. BabyGirl why don't u screw him first n c if u still luv him after, if you still do go for it but if not move on and kip quite about da sex.

04 Apr 2008 08:16

@segololo o segologolo

04 Apr 2008 08:19

Guys what are we drinking 2nite?

04 Apr 2008 08:25

LMAO at ur replies guys, and here was I avoiding this blog the whole day coz I thought it will be too much of a Sis Dolly typa blog, kanti shame ziyawa la (Oh that means it's falling)......LOL......I told ya'll I'm bad with translations.......heheh

@ Mathata, on a serious note: "hay shame umntana bantu"- it's an expression of pity, which means: "Shame, poor child"

04 Apr 2008 08:32

hi mathata *waving with a grin on my face* how are you? nice to hear from you, love. les gens au Canada parlent francais... parlez-vous francais? comment allez-vous?

04 Apr 2008 08:32

something tells me that Nomag is just pulling our legs....I HOPE. 

Nway...i'm outta here...have urselves a great weekend guys ....Bye

04 Apr 2008 08:34

Will blog later on in the week, next week to tell you all about the date.......Good bye all..HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!

04 Apr 2008 08:35

@ ZOLX this is for real.....

04 Apr 2008 08:45


04 Apr 2008 08:48

segololo,puede ser el mejor puedo ?yo pido a veces mi i del
Who del uno mismo?

04 Apr 2008 08:50

vero signori?

04 Apr 2008 08:52

mathata: LMBAO... je devine que vous par (I guess you don't) speak anything but pigmy english! Bye, trouble!

04 Apr 2008 08:52

voule vu ku she argevois seswa!!!

04 Apr 2008 08:55

Anyway, people in Canada - the country next to America - speak English and French. People in NEW Canada in the Southa African Karoo speak mathata 

04 Apr 2008 08:57

Jordan: O sa rogakana (don't swear) Miss Canada doesn't speak french so I can translate what I said to her  

les gens au Canada parlent francais... (People in Canada speak french)
parlez-vous francais?  (Do you speak french?)
comment allez-vous? (How are you?)

04 Apr 2008 08:58

Au revoir (Bye)

04 Apr 2008 09:01

pienso  marcas de una APOLOGIA cada uno SENSACION MEJOR ,si no decimos que esta entrando  encenddido en nuestra vid,Si  nos perdnamos,yipppppie

04 Apr 2008 09:09

im not good in french,latino ngwana,do you expect me to  speak100% French no ,Only Senegales can do that,im good in latino,cuba really help m,n i enjoy speaking sesotho ,i dont go around n breg like puppy,im ok they iam

Brown Shuga
04 Apr 2008 10:28

Laughing my ass off @ Punkie DemaDema!!!

Lady D
04 Apr 2008 14:37

Nomag,the reason you asked for our opinions is because this is eating you up,and the reason its eating you up is bcause you know its wrong....what bothers me also is that you ask for advice with your mind  made.Girl youre bad....

but hey just follow you heart but let your head lead the way!!!goodluck

04 Apr 2008 15:42

I think u shud put urself in ur friend's shoes, how wud u feel if she did dat? Anyways people can give all de advice dey can bt only u know what is de right ding 2 do for not only u bt ur friend and da guy.

05 Apr 2008 02:53

nc nc nc nc nc nc....

05 Apr 2008 04:26

Nomag my dear you seem to have all the answers and you obviously did'nt need our advise.Uyazithethelela man futhi aufuni nex.Why did you ask for advise kanene?

06 Apr 2008 08:21

Do whatever will make you sleep peacefully at night...when it's just you and your conscious......

06 Apr 2008 08:28

Its all about the biggest most important rule in the relationship manual: NEVER TAKE A DIP IN THE SAME POOL YOUR BROTHER / SISTER SWAM. Even if you do talk to your friend and says she understand....she'll be lying. She doesnt! I know I am morally challenged but i know this....stay away from him love!

07 Apr 2008 02:26

Jordan: <<voule vu ku she argevois seswa!!!>>Ha ha ha aha haha ha aha ha LOL!!! I read this again this morning and actually noticed that it is the words to the Moulin-Rouge song... Ha ha ah a! AND you were saying "would you like to sleep with me tonight?" Ha ha ahha ha ah aahahahahaahah  Oh Jordy! Ha ha ha aha

blk sunshine
07 Apr 2008 04:26

Been planning to reply to this but never had the time. Well i have been the other gal, the frend in the situation and let me tell yyou knw it sucks!!! My ex left me for my frend and they dated for like a week becoz she cudnt deal with the betrayal. My ex then proceded to move onto my other close frend and that has been going on on and off for abt a year. Th e2gals remain my frends, but there is an element of trust that will forever be broken. like i wud never trust them with some1 i love. To this day i tell them that i dnt want their apologies becoz i believe that u shudnt apologise for sumthing u wanted to do. They both wanted to get with my ex and they did. End of story. The interesting part tho is that my ex still wants me bak tho he is with my frend now.He calls everyday and just cnt seem to stop apologising. I DNT WANT HIS APOLOGY EITHER. I guess he learnt his lesson, never let a moments infatatuation become a life times mistake. What we had was more then he will ever have with both my frends and i guess i take comfort in that!!

07 Apr 2008 16:53

@blk sunshine....wuwie!!!! he was probably waiting for you to throw a tantrum (uzisakaza, uzimpintsha)instead you were cool that made him tatazela and moved to the second friend, right now he's not sure which direction to take or whether he made the right move.

 and wena nomag sikulindile how did it go, sfunukwazi.

07 Apr 2008 17:14

Runn girl and dont stop running

08 Apr 2008 02:58

vero signori? 
LMAO @Toxic

11 Apr 2008 20:24

Nomag how did it go ,please tell

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