I'll never forget him

Written by La Dolce Vita from the blog La Dolce's Talk on 05 Mar 2008
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I know this might be a morbid topic or arb to write about...but I had to share.
This past weekend I went to the funeral of one of my exes...haunting stuff.I had met this guy in September last year and we hit it off immediately and the love was good but he had a roving eye and I couldn't take it so I distanced myself from him.We kept in contact though but the last time I saw him was before the Metro's in November,he was going there with his friends.Then last week I received a phone call telling me he had been shot dead and I couldn't believe it so I called his gran and she confirmed my worst fears...
I can't begin to explain the numbness I went through that whole night wondering what went through his mind as his life slipped away..did he think of me?..did he suffer?

The regret I have at not coming to visit him when he asked me to...the regret of not following my heart and telling him how much I loved him until it was too late and i wanted to touch his cold,lifeless cheek and kiss it in that coffin..I wanted to lay at his graveside and tell him how much I love him...but I won't ever have that chance again.

All I can say is Rest In Peace Lhose...

13 Comments

PhlyLady
06 Mar 2008 02:54

My condolences La Dolce Vita. I also lost a father to a shooting accident so I really mean it when I say I feel ur pain. There are so many regrets when a person u care for dies in that manner. It feels like yesterday u were talking 2 him n the next thing, he is no more.

God has a reason for everyhing. Mourn him n u'll see one day u will things will be so much better. Treasure the memories that u shared with him n tell urself that God will not give me something I cannot handle!!!

Nonny
06 Mar 2008 03:13

Renegade, there's the second article I was talking about!!!

Renegade
06 Mar 2008 03:18

La Dolce Vita, my condolensces girl. It's one thing for a person to die, but to die a violent death just seems so senseless. May you find peace in time.

tshepiso
06 Mar 2008 03:19

my condolence La Dolce Vita
I feel u, and I know in what position are u now, It happened to me January 2007 when I lost the life of my life. I am still not yet healed but strong darling. believe me it will all go away but is tough. I do not have anyone right now in my life and I know that my problem is to compare people, which I can't control in my heart.

J-Girl
06 Mar 2008 03:34

akuhlanga lungehlanga LDV but ppl like your ex. irritate the wits out of me coz while they still have the chance they dont do right then *poof* when they're gone we're left to pick up the pieces. I can relate to your situation very well, an ex of mine passed away, i felt and still do feel sad sometimes and all the wrongs he did just somehow seemed to have faded and only a sense of loss is left lingering in my heart. May their souls rest in peace

Nanana
06 Mar 2008 03:36

Eish sani,hardy mfowethu

spice
06 Mar 2008 03:44

Ehhh I'm having a blonde moment here , what is a roving eye ?
And tshepiso it''s nice to have you back gal

Nonny
06 Mar 2008 03:48

Eish La Dolce Vita, sorry man, this is really sad and hectic. Please don't beat urself too much about something that has already happend and u can't reverse it.

"..I wanted to lay at his graveside and tell him how much I love him...but I won't ever have that chance again.".............. u can still go to his graveside and believe me it will also help u allot in ur healing process. May his soul also rest in PEACE hey!!!

Dino
06 Mar 2008 05:41

La Dolce Vita, I feel the your pain. I lost the love of my life in June 2007. There were still a lot of unresolved issues when he died, so on top of the depression I was going through I had to dealt with his abrupt death. 8 months down the line,I still can't believe he's gone. I have 17 month old child with him and I just wanna phone him when she does or says something funny, when she reaches her milestones. I just wanna mms him videos and pictures of her.

I don't think one ever gets over a loved one's death. My tears are still fresh and my pain still raw. I miss him so so much and to make matters worse, he was burried in the Eastern Cape. I'm based in Gauteng and my home is in Limpopo. Just don't bottle up your feelings, talk to someone and write letters to him, that way you'll be externalising what you feel inside. And visit his grave, I haven't had that priviledge but I hear it's very therapeutic.

Good luck, stay strong

teev
06 Mar 2008 06:00

Sorry maan CC, keep the faith and be strong. u may think ukuba it's only you but ther's a bunch of ladies going thru the same thing even at this hour someone is dying out there. this goes to all ladies in the same situation....... nizibhokodo remember that. 1 luv

La Dolce Vita
06 Mar 2008 15:29

@ Dino- he had/has two children wit two otha femalesand he wantd a third 4m me bt I was doing matric & I cant gt preg 4 the sake of keepin a man..umama wam angandibulala!!

@ J-Girl- u have no idea how many females were there @ his funeral & aall through the tears I was Like "Mangaphi amacheri akhe apha?" & asking myself "How the helll did this guy play all his cards?'' bt I'm not speaking ill of him.

I live in Pinelands and he lived in Langa & the cemetery is on the way to home so sometimes i'll just say a little prayer in the afternoon in the car & speak 2 him bt it won't b the same bt gud things cum 2 those who wait...asazi ke sokubona.
Thanx 4 all the kind words y'all.I needed 2 share & I just have a really corny line that makes me think of him 4m DJ Bongz song "Nom'ungahamb' sobuya sibonane..."

Dino
10 Mar 2008 05:26

About the gazillion chicks at his funeral, I know eactly what you are talking about. Not only were there a gazillion women, 3 other kids (all older than mine) popped out of the closet. Imagine the anguish and embarrassment. let's just say I went there to say my goodbyes and came back with more baggage than I left with.

belz
18 Mar 2008 00:33

Eish yazi amadoda nawo!!! La Dolce mhlobo qina sisi, time heals my friend time heals.

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