I recently stripped naked in front of my mirror and took a good look at myself, a very long and good look. Yes...I love myself and have (okay, maybe not) accepted my body flaws and at peace with everything I always see on me, wether sagging, hanging, dimpled or hairy, but there are times when I seriously wish...deep sigh...
I have also lost count of the number of times strangers have asked me why I am angry. After the first person, I thought it was because I was just having a bad day. But the second one came, and then the third...Really now...Am I that ugly/sad? I asked myself. Should I smile more? Yes, I answered myself. Yes, yes, yes.
That's just one of the not-so-beautiful things I have come to accept...Not! I have vowed to change what I don't like but when all fails, I will be able to justify it with the infamous "I am sooooo at peace with myself it's not funny" wara wara wara isht...For instance:
My not-so-flat tummy
I have tried everything people, and I mean everything!! But I simply refuse to accept that at 20-something, ke na le mokhaba. If I do, what is going to happen 10 years and 2 babies down the line? Aluta continua...
My love handles
Someone told me gore If I concerntrate really hard on my speje (sp), they will feel the pressure and disappear into thin air eventually. I used to laugh everytime I passed my grandma and she would say "tota o na le noka". Now I don't. Ohhhhh my taebo better work!! Soon.
My teeth
Sucking them back in the day left them...out a bit. And the fact that I drink coffee more than once during the day made them slightly worse...ummnh... yellow I mean...How much does a trip to the Dentist for whitening cost? Not forgetting those little things that can apparently push them back? I ain't giving up shame, I am saving for that appointment! Hello?
My hairy self
I'm talking arms, legs, butt, cheeks, neck, breasts and everything in between. Everytime I see those silky smooth people, I just wish more. BUT that is only because I simply refuse to spend my not so tight budget on shaving creams for my whole body. Besides, God knows gore shaving my armpits and punani is already costing me a chunk of time and moolah! I think I do love myself this hairy anyway. I still do wish though...
My hands
They are hard, rock hard! I grew up scrubbing floors and cooking outside ka "drie foot" back home. Thank you democracy for electricity and water I don't do them thingies no more. But my hands still need repairs...fast. I am contemplating going for a manicure for the first time in my life but am having a hard time getting past the look of whoever is going to perfom that miracle on me. But I am so going still...
My mirror showed me that I still have a long way to go...a long way of convincing myself that these little thingies do not bother me sometimes. I shamelessly found myself restructuring my body and wondering if I would really look better differently. So ma beautiful and sexy bloggas...
What is it that when you see on someone you secrectly wish gore you had? You find yourself saying if only...
That little number you love but know gore will just do your body what others will consider tabboo?
That bra you recently saw and so think will do your boobies justice, even though e tla go shapa ka an unnecessary expose?
Or that bier boep you want to flatter in hope of that six pack and broad shoulders?
Or even Eddie Zondi's deep and sultry voice?
If you can't bring yourself to say it on this article... shame..I do understand!! Aluta Continua....