OK, pay day was only yesterday, so i only managed to get my Cosmo yesterday, only. There was this article about
"Grey Rape" and I thought.... its quite disturbing and its a sad reality that I've also been through. My load was being shed so I read under candle light.
They had three scenarios;
The one scenario. This girl had been at a club where her favorite DJ was playing. Next thing he was making eyes at her and afterwards, he approached her and told her she'll take her home. Excited, she said bye to her friends and went with this dude. Next thing the guy drove to his place and said he wanted her to listen to his music that’s not released yet. Ok, they listen to the music, danced, had a few more drinks and started kissing. She felt his hand go under dress, his fingers go into her and finally, he penetrated her. He acted normal and even dropped her at her home afterwards, and gave her the CD. But she felt used and belittled.
The other scenario. I laughed at this one – for real. This girl had just broken up with her boyfriend. The friend’s best friend brought his shoulder over to her house. They talked and talked and still talked till she fell asleep. Only to be woken up by a thick dick entering her. Gaawwd!!
My scenario. Ok, As virgin as I was, four years ago, I was kissing with my three week boyfriend in his room at res. He knew very well how I felt about sex had talked about it, that I’m only gonna have it on my 21st birthday, which was seven months ahead. And he’d joke that hopefully it’d be him.
The kissing went on & I stopped him. I told him I wasn’t ready and he still went on. The more I said NO the more he pressed on. He entered me. He was so hard and I was so dry. When he was done, I took my stuff and went to my room, showered and sobbed myself to sleep. This destroyed me big time. I felt dirty, used, and I hated myself. I never reported it but I took the morning after pill.
So, the point here, is…
Is there a grey area when it comes to rape? In South African law, rape is defined as "intentional unlawful sexual intercourse with a woman without her consent." That is why it’s always so difficult to prove date rape in court – example – the kanga issue.
It’s even worse in a society where guys are made to believe that when a woman says no she means yes.
I will say this again. I’m not a feminist – I am a firm believer in girl-pride. When someone claims to love you, he should go to all extremes to treat you like a princess. Boys do the chasing, we don’t. They are supposed to beg. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. If someone doesn’t respect you enough to listen to you, he might as well kiss his ankles.
My millennium questions:
What is this, consent?
Guys, how do you know that the girl is *acting hard to get*?
What is most important after sex? The feel-good hormone or the sense of belonging?
