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Keeping it stable...!

Written by Toodecent from the blog The U Turn on 27 Nov 2007
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I may be a Virgorian but am not a perfectionist nor am I trying to win points or whatever but this is just a piece of advice from a brotherly TDC. My thoughts are like that and am sticking with them.... use play them or play against them its up to you! Try it it may help you... Here we go...!

From a guy point of view i will refer moslty to women but its about partners
..

Women and Men want's to be loved, appreciated, acknowledged and cherished...All with the outmost and sincierity.
Sometimes words appear not to be enough but to practice what you preach means the world to them...( I am a guy who always tries his best to keep his promises even though I may fail I try my out most to show the i care) And thats what is essential in a relationship...

Your Attention - Spend time with your loved one... some may be involved in a few miles distance relationships but being there for them helps and keeps the momentum going..! call them before they sleep, when they wake up and surely at work if you cant make it to them...! ( The reudction of phonecalls are a set back..!)


Couldnt find a better picture of expression than this... 
(pic from Sowetan website)

Be their best friend -  You have to play the role of being their friend  Be there whenever they need you, be there to joke with them, play with them,  to laugh with them,  cry with them and go out with them. One of the best things I enjoy about passion is having my womans head on my chest with the whispers of our voices at the backround.

Creativity and Suprises - This doesnt mean that you have to have bucks in the bank to get them a very pleasant gift or suprise. Men drink well I do and we all know how women feel about it especially if you can abuse it.... try to be understanding to what they say even if its wack come up with a way of improving it. Dont drink buy her an air freshner...something like that.

Be Loving and Patient - Make them feel special in any simple and kind way you can. Cancel the trip to the Spa...the trip to the soccer match or the friends hookup just to be with your one... stare them in the eye and have a perfect day of cuddling..! Just for her or him...

Going an extra mile and being the best - You may not be able to give it all to her but try all your means, a weekend away just the two of you or even having a long bath prepared and food unexpectably can go a long way.

Optimistic - even though you may feel that you cant take it or dont believe something can happen..hold their hand and say those words...baby its gonna be alright, it makes them believe in you feeling secured and protected.

Adopting  new things - You may be a little older but always try to please her in a way that goes with the years you in.( Once read a blogger saying an engagement from her man would be " kumele sishade")  try to be sweet in a way that only them understand you yet not trying to be be who you are not..

Be a Gentleman or Lady - Have the bravery of saying what you willing to say to your loved ones in a pleasant way that would not hurt but show them the right way...!



Huh...i got too personal..! I aint saying more for now.
Thats your boy...and am Out....!

The pic is from Sowetan website!











74 Comments

Toodecent
27 Nov 2007 07:56

A bit of a Virgorian guy's thoughts..!

zulugal
27 Nov 2007 08:01

nyce one TDC, please say more, it was geting interesting

MADENZA
27 Nov 2007 08:02

tshepiso
27 Nov 2007 08:06

welcum Madenza welcum huraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

spice
27 Nov 2007 08:07

Okay before i say anything I just need to give madenza a big hug (( ..........................)) I missed you

Molilo
27 Nov 2007 08:08

Madenza is back yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

andi01
27 Nov 2007 08:09

Nice one TDC as always u havent disppointed me, and also when you love someone love them completely, freely and unconditionally, even if they leave you you always look at them with satisfaction and a pat on ur shoulder that, "i once loved" blelive me its wort it. Mna I dont know whether its a blessing or curse. i fall in love quickly, i love honestly, truly and faithfully, i get hurt (cheated on, dumped or inappreciated) but I alwys recover and love like I have neva been hurt before

andi01
27 Nov 2007 08:10

Oh madenza waka, onolikae for such a long time, watseba gore kiugupule jwang, eish wena.(smiling uncontrolable)

mabhebheza
27 Nov 2007 08:13

hmmm ..*smiles*...interesting piece wil comment just now.....
just wondering y the is so much love in the air @tvsa..l???

Msoe
27 Nov 2007 08:17

why is this article so similar to the one Bliq wrote. oh maybe Mr Moderator you were inspired by Bliq's article? nevertheless its a nyc article but i dont buy that man do think like this. but i guess woman and man were never meant to understand each other, not unless both have met someone who can tolerate them.

SHEZ
27 Nov 2007 08:20

whether its a blessing or curse. i fall in love quickly, i love honestly, truly and faithfully,andi01  you and i share the same qualities
With the guys I fall inlove with its never enough but you know what i realised that . A man can only be called that if he knows how to treat his woman.

Toodecent
27 Nov 2007 08:22

Msoe who is Bliq..? thats no 1 ... 2 leave a Url of that one I wanna read it.. and compare....! I value my readers to the extent that i wouldnt go and copy some stuff from a cheap site to put into the unbelievable TVSA especially after what happened with the tshepiso article....! 

KeleFabulous
27 Nov 2007 08:25

hawu tdc...this is a spinoff mos...blaqueboi did this already kanti???

spice
27 Nov 2007 08:28


Be their best friend - You have to play the role of being their friend Be there whenever they need you, be there to joke with them, play with them, to laugh with them, cry with them and go out with them. One of the best things I enjoy about passion is having my womans head on my chest with the whispers of our voices at the backround.

THATS ALL IM ASKING OF MY MAN ,JUST THIS IS IT TOO MUCH ?

mabhebheza
27 Nov 2007 08:29

niqalile cant u just reply or mov 2the next if u have isssues ..gosh guys u try !!
The is a huge mehluko ka difference...

mabhebheza
27 Nov 2007 08:33

Having my women hed on my chest with whispers of our voice at the background.......just 2romantic 4words can u imagine ukuba bekwenzakalani b4 the cuddling *thrills* ..

SHEZ
27 Nov 2007 08:34

niqalile cant u just reply or mov 2the next if u have isssues
Mabhebheza you are right plus nna i relate to both article and i know they will both make me feel better hore mang wrote what article wont help me but the article are helping me.

Msoe
27 Nov 2007 08:46

Thank you Kele, i was biggining to think that im the only one who saw the similarities. Sitshele TDC s'funukwazi! Go and read Bliq's article and tell me if there are no similarities, the declaring part mostly.

Toodecent
27 Nov 2007 08:46

Message:

Still on the issues of evil... I said it in Did You Know then Said it in Whats In The zone and am saying it again here....

I dont wanna hate any blogger but  as I actually mentioned yesterday Shim did it and is doing it again today. So Sponono am i pulling tantrums..? The user is always out with shims associates to discourage or make or send rude comments about or to TDC. Stepping on my toes like that all the time is what will make me misuse my powers and make blogging unpleasant for you spefically cause you targetting me... all the time!

Msoe
27 Nov 2007 08:47

I meant Blaqueboi

andi01
27 Nov 2007 08:47

Please guys help I have a situation; here goes

Boyfriend no1
we dated for 8 yrs (staying in different provinces)
cared deeply for me
Cheated with 2 of my sisters friends (even though we promised neva 2 date any1 in our home town).
once had an sti and hid it from me until i found out (luckily i didnt have sex with him that night).
Never experienced orgasism with him
Doesnt satisfy me sexually (a bullet man to be specific)

Boyfriend no2
dated for 2 years (stayed together from the beggining until recently, he moved out to get rehabillitated from using drugs)
Cheated on me once (with the girl i didnt know, confessed and apologised)
Never had STI (we both went for hiv test late last year)
The first man to ever experience orgasm with (out of 13, and almost everytime)

I broke up with boyfriend number 1 last dec, but wants me back, when boyfriend number 2 was on drugs he treated me badly and I was thinking of leaving him b4 he went for rehab. What should I do, guys, give number 1 a chance since we have been together for years or stay with number 2 since he has taken the first step and went to rehab.

Toodecent
27 Nov 2007 08:49

Adding to that..we have more than 1 recap of Generations, we had BBA Metro fm awards as an example...Kele wrote the complete idiot and I wrote a reply so whats the big deal now..?

TDC...

andi01
27 Nov 2007 08:52

Dear TVSA members

Even if the 2 articles have similarities they are not the same, "into efanayo asiyiyo", i would suggest that one replies to the article she/he feels comfortable with. Whats with the attitude, you guys, I took my time and read both the articles and I noticed that there is no plagiarism involved, just a bit of similarity here and there and thats plainly bcoz "great minds think alike. If you know TDC you will no that he is a man of superb integrity and great writing skills, he has no reasons, none what so ever to copy some1 elses work. So pls people we've been doing fine so long, why u've gotta be rude (in esmile's voice)

Andile Giovanni Guerrero-Esmile

spice
27 Nov 2007 08:52

ok guys there's an article named er................ i forgot the name pls hop there and let all your steam off ,and Msoe i cant beleive this is coming from you I thought you knew betta 
Ya'll stop hating and help Andy007 what's with you ? ignoring her like that pshhhhhhhh

spice
27 Nov 2007 08:58

it's okay too decent your article is great I personally luuv it  that's why I replied ,dont worry my dear

spice
27 Nov 2007 08:59

Andile Giovanni Guerrero-Esmile thats why you have issues my dear you name alone is scaryyyyyyyyyyyyyy

spice
27 Nov 2007 09:00

ROTFLMFAO it sounds like sumone from the movie God father

Msoe
27 Nov 2007 09:01

@Andi01- Do not take the no1 back and just ditch the druggie. You deserve better than these guys.

Sam2say
27 Nov 2007 09:04

SWEET TDC!!!!! VERY SWEET...

andi01
27 Nov 2007 09:05

@Msoe- I thought about ditching the druggie, but chenged mu thoughts when hr promised 2 go to rehab and he did, i think he wants things 2 work out as well

andi01
27 Nov 2007 09:06

wena spice ndakuqhwabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Msoe
27 Nov 2007 09:08

GUYS *WAVING AND WAVING* I did not say there was plagurism here, that is a HUGE word. I just mentioned that its very funny that TDC came with this article while else uBlaque has just written something so similar to it and got a good response that's all. Sorry for adding my two cents worth opinion. "IT IS A NICE ARTICLE TDC AND IT IS NOT SIMILAR TO BLIQUE'S" my badd i apologise *with a smile on my face*

Msoe
27 Nov 2007 09:12

@hayi kabi- He did what????? Ayeye

Xhosa Chick
27 Nov 2007 09:14

I like the art that says you must be your partners' best friend. Yes, we've heard it a million times, but its true. When you view them as that, its easy to be comfortable with your partner, you can be honest with them, yoi can do anything without fearing embarrasment or judgement, you can chill with them and accept each other's faults and still love that person. The romantic relationship may not work out in the long run, but the core part of being best friends doesnt go away.

Toodecent
27 Nov 2007 09:14

You talking nonsesnse like your name...actually am cleaning the mess.

Tshd21
27 Nov 2007 09:15

Eish, this picture TDC...the way her right hand is clinging to that bare black back...mmmmnmnmnhhh  simply....beautiful...Hi-hi-hi


Now let me go back and read the atricle and all the replies...be back

Xhosa Chick
27 Nov 2007 09:16

I meant PART. "I like the part..."

Xhosa Chick
27 Nov 2007 09:18

The Moderatah probably didnt like it.

Toodecent
27 Nov 2007 09:19

Andi01 thanks a lot for the message on my GB especially considering how we both started at the beginning. Its good to have you with such support..and in your sittuation about men... TDc says.. Go Shopping!

Msoe
27 Nov 2007 09:21

@andi01: Listen ma, it is very easy for human being to hang on to things that are familiar to them becoz most of us are afraid of change. You might think that you need both man because of reasons that you only know, i am not saying that your reasons are wrong but what i am asking myself is that both of these guys have cheated on you and have hurt you badly. What makes you think that they wont do it again?To me both these man do not deserve a second chance because you have given them all and they just ditch you and have sex with other girls. To me that is not love, it was not there than and it is not there now. I say go out and find something new and fresh and forget about these guys. Isnt it a wonderful feeling to fall for someone new, you know even if that new person hurts you at least you wont be saying "Im am an idiot, i should have seen this coming or oops he did it again to me". So only you can make a decision at this because its only you and he on the relationship and only you guys know the in's and out's of it

Xhosa Chick
27 Nov 2007 09:23

"Caaaan you feeel the loooove toniiiight...."
Elton John is coming to S.A ya'll. Now thats a Diva if I ever saw one. Or is it DivO?

Pooky
27 Nov 2007 09:27

saw this only now and its home time,  eish am always late... maar just had to say GUD 2 HAV U BACK MADENZA!!!! we love you!!!!!

ok will reply to this tomorrow... BYEEEE YALL

mayo
27 Nov 2007 10:19

eish TDC u know how to treat intsayiza nhe!! *winking* @ cocktail,,, 
oh u just gave me an idea for tonight!! Tshd21 waar is jy??? im leaving at 7 tonight

Toodecent
28 Nov 2007 00:10

Morning yall...how was your night..?Hope everyone is good!

edgards
28 Nov 2007 00:38

TDC, If i had a sista i would convince to look for someone like you my man.

pullie
28 Nov 2007 00:51

thanx TDC, wish tht guy i call my man cld see this..

J-Girl
28 Nov 2007 00:52

EISH POOKY SIYAFANANA NAM I'M ALWAYS LATE KWEZI ARTICLES, ALL I WANTED TO SAY IS MADENZA U WERE MISSED, I HOPE UBUYE NYANI YAZI

zozozo
28 Nov 2007 01:00

Morning bloggers, hi madenza*waving wif smile* i'm glad u're back.

Great article TDC as usual.

monchooza
28 Nov 2007 01:12

Elton John......@XC?

myname
28 Nov 2007 01:41

say that again pullie thanks TDC

MamaOmpha
28 Nov 2007 01:56

Nna TDC sometimes my man does not appreciate me.  I think after all these years (8) together he treats  me more like his mother than his woman except of course the sex part.  Like over the weekend I bought him 5 pairs of socks because all his socks , like my son says anamazambane (holes) on them.  All he said was "yazi amasokisi awathengeki"  and I was like, is that his way of saying thank you or does he not see a reason to thank me. A thank you or a kiss on my cheek would have been nice.  but nooooooooooo.

Pooky
28 Nov 2007 02:07

awwwwh TDC you so sweet yazi with your sensitive self... wish we had more of them like you...
andi01: Msoe has said it all... you dont need either of them coz they'll only start pulling you back again...change is good my love

sponono
28 Nov 2007 02:22

TDC said So Sponono am i pulling tantrums..?...>>LOL
No TDC..I think this warrantees a tantrum worse thaN Arthur's and cleo's serias
  i understand this time...in fact mina I think we need more brothers to share coz we dont ussually write stuff like this...and YES articles can be inspired by previous ones  so peeps getova it...

I'
LL be back with comments...ngisayo-shayu-number two...busy printing this article to read there...

belz
28 Nov 2007 02:27

@ MamaOLOL , lol nyhani!!!!!hahahahahaah.

witty lady
28 Nov 2007 02:30

Wow!! Beautiful piece my brother, very beautiful wow!
wish partners that do that existed!!

KeleFabulous
28 Nov 2007 02:34

TDC don't get all agggro now! yes some articles can be inspired by others but i see a trend here. me thinks u've been hit by the little green eyed monster and me thinks we shud get dr beyonce in the house seriously! some people (u incl) seem to be taking this blogging thing as a competition and that is soo wrong! nna the way i c it when an article comes up that people get excited about U want to take that person's shine and come up with something similar. first u did something similar to what GQ had written (something about greatest feeling...) then it was my one that u made a blog reply to (u know the one!) and now this...

i say let the people shine if they are shining! why must u always be in the spotlight all the time??? haai suka this is not high school where we're all competing man!

and this is not an attack, i'm stating something so obvious which has become a trend!

Toodecent
28 Nov 2007 02:38

If thats the Case kelefab then i will retire from writing articles and just blogg guess that would make you very Happy..!

libra
28 Nov 2007 02:39

MamaO - comunicate your needs to you man-it will make a huge difference.
WOw - i am keeping this article to remind the things i need to do to keep the flame of my relationship going- Thanks - Great one

witty lady
28 Nov 2007 02:40

Hawu kante where is the luv

cocktail
28 Nov 2007 02:45

before i finish reading this *sob*.Malove? th beginning just touches me so bad,all i can say you have nt failed me,you doin just fine,just keep on doin it!!!!!lol. i'll be back.

spice
28 Nov 2007 02:45

Not again ,not again .not again not again ,not again not again not again

spice
28 Nov 2007 02:45

Not again ,not again .not again not again ,not again not again not again

spice
28 Nov 2007 02:45

Not again ,not again .not again not again ,not again not again not again

KeleFabulous
28 Nov 2007 02:49

TDC take a long hard look at all the articles you've written before...what changed? you know you can come up with fresh ideas so don't sulk! hawu!

cocktail
28 Nov 2007 02:50

You've said it all....hayi ke my fellow bloggers this what i get e'day from my man *wink*!

KeleFabulous
28 Nov 2007 02:51

and nna i'm sorry cos i won't keep quiet if i think something's off for the sake of peace! that i'm afraid i simply won't do

sponono
28 Nov 2007 03:01

phew....Kele yehli'sumoya  mntaka-ma....


TDC-Have the bravery of saying what you willing to say to your loved ones in a pleasant way that would not hurt but show them the right way...!  My problem with this apporach is that as people we come from idfferent places with different principles and I belive the key is to either accepect that your partner has his/her own beliefs and its either you keep them in your life if you can accomdate her beliefs or you leave them...(love is NOT everything seriously  you get over people ...you realy do)
secondly some partners seem to think that theirs is the right way as you said..and thats NO always the case-even the bishops miss it sometimes)...we have to learn to agree to disagree and have healthy arguments  not "showing the other person the right way" because the day you decided to go out with someone is because you trusted that they have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong and they can make sound judgements...

Segololo
28 Nov 2007 03:13

how much attention is enough? Some people have an unbearable NEED to be always there- Past experience with a psychopath has taugh me that sometimes "attention" to some people means being "controlling" of your movements and wherabouts!!

MamaOmpha
28 Nov 2007 03:24

@Sego. my boyfriend once told me that my need for attention and consideration means to him that I want to controll him the argument being he was saying he does not have to tell me where he is going all the time.  Ok I understood that but the problem arised when I did not tell him where I was going all the time.  It became a problem for him not knowing where I was cause I thought if he wont tell me where hes going all the time I dont have to do it either.

Lex
28 Nov 2007 06:23

TDC - I wish my real boyfriend would read this and see that it's possible for a man to think like this...eish!

ex@mple
28 Nov 2007 07:02

@ANDI01, girl u r at number 13 already GEEZ how old r u--40
SLOW DOWN & FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT PLZZZZZ

andi01
28 Nov 2007 07:15

@Example, when i was growing up I was very naugty, i am not anymore, i am one man kinda woman, and i stopped b4 it was 2 late, so girl thanks for the advise by my seatbelt is as tite as a "step in" panty.

chitty
28 Nov 2007 07:35

Hmm! That was sum hot debate. This is no interest of mine but I feel compelled to vent my spleen here.Kelefab, you my girl and I know you are  a Great writer. I also trust that you know what you mean here.TDC, I will say the same with you. You are both great writers. I love both your writings but for once, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM does not kill. It has never killed anyone. romping and stomping of feet does not help either. We are adults here. Lets all shine, thats the only way we can help each other up. TDC, how do you expect people to constructively critisize you if you become so defensive? What happened to simple old creativity? Hawu!

Lex
18 Dec 2007 01:29

Just had to come back here and read this again :-)


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