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Written by cuz-cuz from the blog mistaken identity on 20 Nov 2007
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Have u ever had peolpe b sure that u r something u really are not. This is my life story, when i was doing grade 7 (std 5) for the first time a gal asked me out , i was confused as hell and it just didnt feel right well it was only the begining. yes i have had gals asked me out , when it happens u start to question how do peolpe see u , what are portraying to the world. All my years in varsity i have had peolpe think i am a lesbian. People are so sure they dont even ask u they tell u that u r gay, when u tell them u r not ,they still dont believe u. What do u do to convience someone that u r straight not gay?. Even my close friends doubt that i am straight. i once told a friend of mine that if someone is sleeping and they are mumbling something if u pull their big toe and asked them anything they will tell u the truth (some superstition). One time I had a sleep over at her place , i guess i was talking in my sleep, she pulled my big toe, luckily it was cold,i felt her cold hands on my feet,guess what she asked," so tell me are u gay" i burst out laughing but then we talked about it she said she was just curious what my answer would be. If a gal prefers to wear baggy pants does that make her lesbain, having afro-hair, wearing takkies most of the time?

Yes i have had relationships with guys off course, but they dont last.One of my friends actually suggested that i date a girl and see if i will stay in that relationship. Mostly gals have this things while the guys they will say she a tom-boy. if the same gals see u with a guy they will say he a cover -up, can u belive it. I have learnt to joke about it, that i have guys and gals attracted to me. but seriously this thing has made me question my sexuality a lot, i wonder if my parents and rest of my family also think that i am gay.

Have u ever mistakely thought someone was gay, have u ever had peolpe think u r gay/lesbain? What do u think makes peolpe think that someone is gay/lesbain.

let share ppl

8 Comments

cuz-cuz
20 Nov 2007 13:16

Looking forward to reading yo responses

Sparrow
20 Nov 2007 23:52

Hey cuz-cuz! Cool article,still reflecting will cum back with my comments.

J-Girl
21 Nov 2007 00:09

yo cuz-cuz, i feel you yazi, my sista is doing her first year at varsity and she has the exact same problem ndikuxelele, she likes dressing in cargo shorts, ankle boot takkies and sweaters, dreads and caps and all...she does not like girls...like that she says but uplitwa left right and centre zii girls, so nje people have those tendencies of making a conclusion about things they know nothing about. I hope she will read your article and she will not feel alone because she has even threatened moving out of res coz of the kind of harassments she's become exposed to at her res.
I dont think she is a lesbian at all, because when I was @ varsity I went thru alot of searching for myself including that stage of dressing up like that just to see if this is really me (well alot of it had to do with my guy friends that I hung around with @ varsity, u cant exactly go to Piggs in Ronde inna miniskirt ona friday night).
Point that I'm getting at is I dont think you are a lesbian because of your style of clothing, if you are you will know and it wont take society's twisted expectations from you to make you one either.

Lerata
21 Nov 2007 01:04

I feel you cuz-cuz. Through out my high school life I also had the same problem. I used to be called a tom-boy a lesbo. This happened mostly after reading that book-The Colour Purple. Everybody at school thoght that I was. At times it used to get to me and I would be hurt by all the comments.Thankfully nobody said it strraght to my face cause they thought I would beat them up! An d hey I am not a fighter!

Now everybody is on some tip ya gore I look like a girl as if I wasn't at high school. I used to tell them to think what ever they want, one day they will realise who I really am. So I guess it worked!

eish-bo
21 Nov 2007 01:20

Your style of clothing does not determine that u are a lesbian, even if you were one so what? it's a pity you let what people say bug you - abantu always have something to say.....
When I was in grade 5, my mom and her friends had a braai at home, i used to love boyish stuff - from clothes to bikes, skate boards all that stuff. One of my mom's friend asked her why don't i ever like or do girly stuff? WTF i was only a kid. I overheard her telling my mother to watch out for me coz i might be a lesbian. that stayed with me, even today she does not understand why i despise her, gosh I was only a kid discovering myself. I was not a LESBIAN and I am still not one.
So do not worry yourself, as long as you are tru to yourself it's fine!!! Don't be bothered we all go through phases, you are in a journey of life be what you are comfortable with. not everyone likes skinny jeans and mini's, if baggy clothes make u happy good

monchooza
21 Nov 2007 01:31

Yes cuz-cuz the replies above ngivumelana nazo wena just live your life and try to be haapy and forget about what people are saying about you, i know its easier said than done, kodwa ke being somebody osekakulenkinga okuyo i can tell that you are a strong person so you can handle this. wena just make sure ukuthi u sure about your sexuality first kodwa. and have a very strong support system(which we, the bloggers are part of)

belz
21 Nov 2007 01:42

cuz cuz, people will always assume anyhting that makes them feel better, so phila impilo yakho the way ofuna ngakhona! just dont change who you are ngoba ufuna abantu bathule, coz angeke bathule.

cuz-cuz
21 Nov 2007 07:05

thank you everyone, by the way this was my first article. i luv u all

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