x close

SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE

SOUTH AFRICA'S TV WEBSITE

ACTORS | ARTICLES | CASTINGS | SHOWS | TEASERS

10 Things i would change

Written by ngwana from the blog like TV like Ngwana on 03 Oct 2007
Favourite this post

10 things I would change if I had Stefano Dimera’s technology:

1. The Voice of etv - Friday Action nights, free only on E, he is slowly making me suicidal. There are so many other voice artists in SA I don’t get it.

2. Punish everyone who puts Kelly Khumalo and Kb as actresses on my TV.

3. Bring Tupac back from the island (that’s where he’s been and has amnesia since I faked his death)

4. Make Thando from Kaya fm speak properly.

5. Brain wash Patrice Motsepe into leaving his wife for me.

6. Send Mina nawe and all these funny musicians that keep popping up to The Island.

7. Be Ophra’s new bestfriend (first need to get rid of Gayle somehow) so she can help me take over the world.

8. Make Trevor Noah clones.

9. Make sure Ridge and Brooke never get back together again – enough now KE DI KELELLO TSA RONA TSENA!

10. Send Noleen to The Island and use the mind altering device to erase her from everyone’s minds.

11. Have a remote control to mute Stevie B, someone needs to tell him its Phat Joe’s show and not his.

12. Make everyone forget abuot 'ama kip kip' (those colourful hoodies look silly, I was so disappointed to find out my ‘latest’ has one) cant believe how many celebs are wearing them.

13. Bring the old Isidingo back.

14. Never play Coconuts ever again, that show was really not funny.

15. Break up Slikour and Bonang.

(stuff in red just added)

What would you change if you had Stefano’s technology?
cause everyday on TV we see something that really irritates us.

73 Comments

Gugs
03 Oct 2007 06:02

Ngwana ur nr 1. i thought i was the only one

nice blog by the way......

will come back for more lemme think a bit.

Toodecent
03 Oct 2007 06:07

hi hi hi hi...I love it... and Ge o fetsa ka Brooke oye gona ko Days and erase all this Stefano and Sons parts le technology!

Username
03 Oct 2007 06:09

number 1, 5, 6 and number 10 take the cake for me. Whoever put Noleen on our tv screens should remove her. after yesterdays show she made me have homicidal tendencies.

zuluprincess
03 Oct 2007 06:16

Number 11. Fire whoever decided to change SABC 1 tv presenters.

Yoooo!!! Have u seen the guys!

Cande
03 Oct 2007 06:22

Number 2 and 6 kill me, LMFAO!!!

2cool EC
03 Oct 2007 06:29

I feel u on that 1 zuluprincess they bore me to death, all of the new presenters on fosho. WTF

No.2 I agree with Kelly Kumalo but KB I love her.

monchooza
03 Oct 2007 06:35

yoh yoh i dont wish to have Stefano Dimera's evil technology..........ngoba damn so many people would dissapear..........starting with a few people from ekasi

tshepiso
03 Oct 2007 06:36

i would delete and emptied "days of our lives" and "passions" those are blue or green liars. shooooooo!!!!!!!

good topic - my kind

Foxy gal
03 Oct 2007 06:42

Gr8 1 Mntwana!!

I would brainwash my bosses to think that they hired me to be on TVSA the whole day & they'll pay me my monthly salary per day!!!!!

dudu-cum-2-jozi!!!
03 Oct 2007 07:01

i would de-nasalize that Brand power Ads woman. Engathi une permanent sinusitis. Shem, uyadina!

I would let Bonang win that video battle ish at least !nce. Aag shem bathong lento ayisekho fair.

I would make RGB's Dineo a bit easier on the eye! LOL, Guys im just kidding
*****************************************************************************************

ngwana
03 Oct 2007 07:30

LOL @ Monchooza, i can relate to that one.

Toxic
03 Oct 2007 07:38

while you're working on Thando, send Portia Adams and Mpho Matjila Nkosi to the same island.....!

zuluprincess
03 Oct 2007 07:57

Guys who still watches days of our lives?

KeleFabulous
03 Oct 2007 08:10

hi hi hi ngwana!!! what is this technology ya stefano? i don't watch days...

i'm not a regular watcher but i kinda like noeleen

PhlyLady
03 Oct 2007 08:18

I would let Bonang win that video battle ish at least !nce--I really feel u on that one WTF vele?
I would give Ann on Generations a makeover (add uKhethiwe n Sbali sakhe there)!!

mabhebheza
03 Oct 2007 08:26

1st,have a Money making Machine,to have anything i want
2nd erase all the beautiful women so the is no competition,
Have Will Smith for Supper evrynite ,dessert with John legend and snack ngo Taye Diggs...!

still thinking,,,ngiyabuya

Xhosa Chick
03 Oct 2007 08:37

" Have Will Smith for Supper evrynite ,dessert with John legend and snack ngo Taye Diggs...! "

DONT YOU DARE START WITH MY MEN!

Sdakamiswa
03 Oct 2007 08:44

Make Kimi win the next 2 races and the championship, Hamilton can win next year .
Have Lomu & Tana Umaga play in the remaining all black matches in the world cup.
Bring Biggie Back.

Foxy gal
03 Oct 2007 08:51

@ XC & mabhebheza - let clear this 1st b4 si confyuzane Taye Diggs is mine finish & klaar!!!!

Now *sigh* that we got that of the way sesingaqhubeka!!!!!

ting
03 Oct 2007 09:11

Eish ngwana o nchwatlelang maare! this is sooo hillarious.... esp logan le ridge!
maara i really like the etv voice esp ga a etsa WW RAW TONITE!
I wud find "dinny" a better looking husband than "kenny"
Make sure that no one ever gets to see those stupid Mr Muscle ads again.
Write off Rapulana Seiphemo's character off Muvhango with immediate effect since he thinks he's the only good actor on the soapie.
Make Vuyo Mbuli stop sain all the silly things he says like bo " o bosso wena" on Morning Live...damn that guy o ntshwarisa heartburn

MADENZA
03 Oct 2007 09:21

Stop the Van-Dammme festival and Walker Texas Ranger
-Take Chomme for one night and give it to her as hard as i could.

Toxic
03 Oct 2007 09:28

eish madenza!

faraimagic
03 Oct 2007 09:30

punish everyone who puts kelly khumalo and kb as actresses hahaha! cant stop laughing.....for that you are very right..hahaha that's a good one.

Bra Bizza
03 Oct 2007 09:34

Make Kimi win the next 2 races and the championship, Hamilton can win next year ......im so with you on this one..

i would also send sabc 1 and etv 's programme managers to the island.

mabhebheza
03 Oct 2007 09:35

Delete XC and Foxy gal from Tvsa bayangibangisa ngamadoda wam....
Cheers bantu im goin home to plan the Stefeno power tomorrow is still a day

watch out any miricuolas thing that happens its Mabhebheza in Action wena Will Smith ur mine 2nite nomakanjani!

ngwana
03 Oct 2007 09:43

Madenza maan!!! LOL

sponono
03 Oct 2007 09:47

yoh NGWANA you read my mind about no 2 and 6.....infact on number2I would wave my Demera remote and everytime they cast Kelly or KB the first episode they get shagged to death by this gorilla from the Island and thats it!! FIRST EPISODE GONE- in a shocking sheggathon with Kelly K screaming "I'm a virgin tshitshi let me go"...and the gorrilla just grunting away to his hearts content till she's lifeless....(of course sh'ell go back to music KB as well) yoh what a scene as for KB the gorrla can just shag her and yanking her weave all over the island till she's done and thats the end of episode one contract finito....

joy
03 Oct 2007 09:48

Good luck on no.5 I support u!
If I had these powers, Oprah would be my rich big mama.
On no.11 Zuluprincess, I hear u. That gal last nite so annoyed me waving her hands like crazy and her noisy bracelet.
Needs presentation skills course.
Dali Mpofu pls organise this soon

andi01
03 Oct 2007 09:52

I would change my name to ( Mrs Andile Trevor Noah). Make Trevov say everytime before RGB starts , "I would like to said a special dediaction to my lovely wife and mother of my 7 kids,Mrs Andile Trevor Noah, luv u babe, life without you woudnt be the same", Oh Gaadd i need to wake up. Atleast I still have Vuyo Mere on my other dream, and Ajax Khoza on my tomorrows dreams.

sponono
03 Oct 2007 09:53

<<would de-nasalize that Brand power Ads woman>>

uqinisile Duduzile ngalomntwana...
.I wonder how much she makes, she's been brand-powering for a while nou....

joy
03 Oct 2007 09:54

Seriously nasty Sponono,yhuu?!

MADENZA
03 Oct 2007 09:57

Demera remote and everytime they cast Kelly or KB the first episode they get shagged to death by this gorilla from the Island and thats it!! FIRST EPISODE GONE->> i will have to play that Gorila, and the shagging must be real,never mind the cameras.

sponono
03 Oct 2007 09:59

<<Atleast I still have Vuyo Mere on my other dream, and Ajax Khoza on my tomorrows dreams>> I thought you're as old as i-gramaphone...phela thats chicken meda hawu kuncane lokuyana bakwethu..uzomphula amanyongo...umfana evele ezizacele....

spice
03 Oct 2007 10:01

Andile Ajax as in ajax khoza I did'nt know you have the eye for skinny guyz neway he is one of my clients oops my madame's clients tell me what you like about him and I will do that checkup test you wanna do to trevor for you cause me sees him all the time and have not thought of him that way, but I like thomas thou is he still skinny? I have not seen him in a while

sponono
03 Oct 2007 10:03

eish Madenza I dont know if you'd be able to handle Kelly K ask Speedy and that sgebengu guy and Cleo...you'd have to be supercharged....( I believe her current shagger is from the african countries..so go figure...he he he .

andi01
03 Oct 2007 10:04

@ sponono, yhey musukudelela wena, yazi abafana mina ngithanda kanye laba bazacile yibona banestamina, hay ufats (he, he, he X5), sekekhathele no man. Uyabona uVuyo Mere udlala for 90 minutes (on the ground),. Baby I am as tough as the ground and as flexible as the diski ball.

sponono
03 Oct 2007 10:15

haayi andi01 uyandoyikisa ndiyamsizela lamfo omnikayo..hi hi hi he better work it

I'm goin home nou good eenin folkes

lorrelai
03 Oct 2007 10:57

I'd steal all Soul City and Soul buddies tapes from sabc studios ngqumakho.

GodsGift2Human
03 Oct 2007 12:02

id let Luyanda(x backstage actor/x muvhango lawyer) accept Thomas's apology for going so long whn he went to pay i TV License and have JASON(x boyfrnd ka Cleo on Gen) all to maself i dnt care even if he'd rape me i'd still luv him 2 bits

lizzy14
03 Oct 2007 12:18

i'll actually make all high school kids' penis to dissapear until they finish school...
and all disadvantaged people's sperm not to make ...-
--relocate Mugabe to the nearest hell
--move America to Zimbabwe and Zimbabwe to America...
and finally bring back Sis MaBrr just to come and sing 2010 speacial

Tashi
03 Oct 2007 12:24

Hehe - good one Ngwana!

My best is: >>The Voice of etv - Friday Action nights, free only on E, he is slowly making me suicidal.<< LOL! SO true.

mayo
03 Oct 2007 12:33

eish utsho uphinde lizzy14 u just made me wonder what she (Sis Brenda) would have sung for the country!! still miss her yazi

Tshd21
03 Oct 2007 12:36

1. I would bring my late, loving and sweet cousin back.
2. Sneak my fab self inside Tuks Senganga's bedroom.
3. Find a man who will make love to me exactly the way they do it in movies!
4. Be in the car with Lebo Mathosa when she "re-dies" just to be the last person le ene on her last day on earth and
5. Get an sms from ABSA every hour, telling me that a million has been deposited in my accout by my dreams whore, Didier Drogba from Chelsea!!

sjura
03 Oct 2007 12:41

id jst make maself a bit tall cz m a bit vertically challenged........n carry ma baby gal everywhere I go so that everyone can see how beautiful she is esp her smile and her brackets......

ngwana
04 Oct 2007 02:14

I'd steal all Soul City and Soul buddies tapes from sabc studios ngqumakho>>

Oh yes!

Toodecent
04 Oct 2007 02:23

3. Find a man who will make love to me exactly the way they do it in movies! >>> Tshidi bathong... o batla leromposo nnaka?

Condom
04 Oct 2007 02:42

LOL @Madenza....I hope u use Condoms in ur sessions.

I wuld bring Bibey Kalambay Mutombo (Just resigned Pirates Coach) back.Check his resignation letter out...

""He? Dr Chairman,

I want to leave Orlando, he? The player he does not score, he? The supporter he fight me, he? He says me not play Botsotso, he? Botsotso he no good player, he? Last three games me play Botsotso, he? But Orlando loses, he? The players does not want to score, he? Now supporters want to kill me, he? Them say I no good for Orlando, he? Now I leaving Orlando, he? Me will get a job, he? I am an assistant coach for the national team of DRC, he? Me also have EUFA level A coaching certificate, he? I am leaving Orlando, he?

Merci buku .

Bibey Kalambay Mutombo"

U GOTTA LOVE HIM....

tshepiso
04 Oct 2007 02:44

hai, Tshd21 o a swabisa!!!!!! no. 3

that means u have lack of sex mmmmmmmmmmm

Lex
04 Oct 2007 03:08

DUDU - 'I would make RGB's Dineo a bit easier on the eye! LOL'
Couldn't agree with you more.KWA,KWA,KWA,KWA,KWA

Lex
04 Oct 2007 03:15

TDC le Tshidi,lo mpolaile go feta - 3. Find a man who will make love to me exactly the way they do it in movies! >>> Tshidi bathong... o batla leromposo nnaka?
TDC o Motswana straight,ebile ga o batle ruler!

cnhlanhla
04 Oct 2007 03:29

Hi bloggers, (off topic) I just wanted to say i missed u lot hpfully sumbody noticed that i vanished on the pages for sumtime don't ask where i was it's one of those things.

Euphonik
04 Oct 2007 03:38

Morning everybody!!!!
I'd reunite Mr 999 and his Queen...their childish behaviour isn't good for little Owami.

oh, Stokvel for Soccer players----If Jabu Mahlangu' wife had thought about it, they wouldn't be squatting( Shame).

Cut off Samuels hair,( Generation)..his hairstyle is out of fashion.

Xhosa Chick
04 Oct 2007 03:41

cnhlanhla: Welcome baaaaack! Where were u? Did u go visit Lerato in rehab, shem?

Mambox
04 Oct 2007 03:42

talking about Anne for Generations has anybody seen her in real life? word is she's a HE....

Xhosa Chick
04 Oct 2007 03:49

Dudu wrote: " I would make RGB's Dineo a bit easier on the eye!"

Shame, guys, she looked nice nje last night....The bob wig shame...

Euphonik
04 Oct 2007 03:52

@ Mambox---it's a lie--she was married to David( Rhythm City) for Seven years, if i'm not mistaken ..she's a mother.

Xhosa Chick
04 Oct 2007 03:55

Lorrelai wrote: " I'd steal all Soul City and Soul Buddies tapes from SABC studios"

Gurl, Ive got a balaclava, a torch, gloves, and contact lenses. Lets do this!

sigo
04 Oct 2007 04:02

Xhosa Chick wrote: " shame, guys, she looked nice nje last night...The bob wig shame.."

yes, Dineo did look good last night. i admit i liked her look very much.. it was easy simple and the colour of her dress is the "in" thing. the one thing i would change in a heartbeat bout her, ARE HER LIPS! DAMMMMMIT, those things are huge. they have a tendancy to affect my viewing.

Gugs
04 Oct 2007 04:06

ROFL @ Condom

Mambox
04 Oct 2007 04:10

Oh fanks Euphonik, now my mind is at ease...

As for Dineo...Gaadd the wig she was wearing last night...no words could describe the trauma i had after i saw it...

ngwana
04 Oct 2007 04:13

Cut off Samuels hair,( Generation)..his hairstyle is out of fashion. >>

while at it, cut Fana from Scandals' hair as well.

Mmakwena
04 Oct 2007 04:25

Hi All

if i had one of that devious man's specia devises, i would bring back Lattitude to its evening spots and especially repeat one special show they did about the xitsonga people - the difficulties they have to face with taxi in public transport with their "Shibelane" (spell check) <telling them gore they will have to pay double price because they are literaly taking a space for two people> sorry guyz i don't know how to describe it in Englsh.

LOL

Euphonik
04 Oct 2007 04:26

@ Ngwana yo yo yo...i forgot about him, Fana.

Kenneth Mashaba with dreads????? ha ha ha

spice
04 Oct 2007 04:29

LMAO condonm where the hell did you get this letter?ROTFL

Xhosa Chick
04 Oct 2007 04:30

Gaaash, Fana's hair MUST go!!!

Xhosa Chick
04 Oct 2007 04:39

Theres nothing anyone can do about Dineo's lips or whatever. Guess ull just have to get used to it Mambox

lejazz
04 Oct 2007 05:55

AGNES.NDALAMO,BHEKI,THEMBI,GROUPIE OF SALON,ALBERT,PHALANDWA AND RUDZANI.THIS IS SOME OF THE CAST OF MUNYANGO OR MUVHANGO?THE SOAPIE IS BORING WITH A HUGE CAST.

tshepiso
04 Oct 2007 07:01

whoooooooo Keneth Mashaba with dreads

i made Jack Mabaso to cum to my direction.

Brown Shuga
05 Oct 2007 12:11

He he he this is a nice article Ngwana, can't believe I missed it .....

LOL @ your entire list...classic!!

ngwana
13 Jun 2008 02:18

be a scriptwriter on Generations, Busi and Anne's exit was not done well.

tha - bang
13 Jun 2008 03:08

I'd bring back phat joe and khabzela back to yfm
i'd erase all knowledge and existence of DJ Sbu
i'd create 10 new sabc channels 3 just for sport,one for educational programming and the rest for entertainment
id erase all knowledge and existence of tony yengeni, thibos, jz, jacque selebi, hlophe and co
finaly id fast forwar to the very last episode of lost to find out the trueth about everything

xolanipat
06 Jan 2010 18:14

Id make nelson mandela young again so he run da country .its 3 yrz late lol

Da Diva
06 Jan 2010 18:41

Yah Xolanipat its an old article bt we still get da message

Only TVSA members can reply to this thread. Click here to login or register.