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Bring back what's mine

Written by njingalwazi from the blog Hot Potato on 19 Sep 2007
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You have to forgive me on this one but i am back again with matters of the heart topics. I understand that people have to share so many things when in a relationship and some of those things include cash, car , credit cards etc, the list is long and endless. Well, that is nice especially when there is understanding between the two but , what happens when yu guys break up? I've seen people claiming even an underwear that they have bought for their exes while they were still involved and some even try and scrutinize their exes recent relationships by calling all the time and demanding him/her to bring the Nokia N70 he/she bought for him/her while they were still involved. I understand the reason why buys stuff for his/her lover is because he/she loves the partner at that time and claiming stuff from him/her when you break up means something else i.e You bought the things just to retain the person in staying with you or you just didn't love him/her. Now my question to you guys , so you think it is a good/bad thing to do that and please motivate your answers . Hopefully i don't sound like a typical njingalwazi.

93 Comments

lizzy14
19 Sep 2007 02:29

I regard those who wants whatever they bought for their partners back as small minded people I mean if you really have life and are not bored why waste your time and energy wanting something that you bought for someone really now I mean what are u going to do with that thing at the end of the day…unless u still want the person back

immaculate
19 Sep 2007 02:45

It would take a very stupid idiot to do that_if my ex was to demand whats his i will SUE him for wasting my time being a useless lover!

Lemon_Lite
19 Sep 2007 02:49

I think that when they want whatever they bought their partner - its just a way of still keeping in contact with that person. All you want to do is talk to your ex but what is there to talk about except - please bring back my _____ and _____ and _____. It really is pointless because what exaclty are you going to do with that stuff - u can't give it to your sibling or friend coz it will constantly remind you of him or her.
Sometimes in life you have to learn to let things go - HARD as it is...just let it go and be the bigger person.
Down the line - I wouldn't want to get back together with an ex that demanded all they ever bought me....

Dimples
19 Sep 2007 03:01

Ngicela ukubuza, what if you had bought a car for that person, will you continue paying the instalments even if you no longer together? I think there are some things one can claim back. U Mandla Mthembu naye wahluleka!!!

azHOT
19 Sep 2007 03:06

i had an ex that demanded my cellphone back just because he had bought it. i thought that was so pathetic!!!!

" ngicela ubuyise i-phone yami ngoba usuthole indoda entsha!!!" WTF i smsed him that i would do no such thing and then changed my number!

he was being such a loser!

azHOT
19 Sep 2007 03:10

Lex
19 Sep 2007 03:23

Nice topic,but if I bought a car for the person,I'd want it back.

MamaOmpha
19 Sep 2007 03:28

Mina I think there is no wrong or right in this situation cause i had a friend who was not employeed and who was financially supported by her boyfriend. She depended on him from the socks that she wore to the gum that she chewed. She cheated on him, he found out and he took everything that she had shoes, bags everything. I think his behaviour was justified. Thats only my opinion.

I think if I were to break up with my boyfriend, the only think i would ask back from him are my pictures

Package
19 Sep 2007 03:32

Dimples.... i wud stop paying those instalments (get the car repossesed) if we broke up.... and then i betta be sure we're not getting back together....

for everything else, i won't claim back!
everytime my boyfriend and i fought i used to demand my house keys back...Hi hi hi... and when we're fine give back the keys...
but we stopped doing that... it was soo funny

Dimples
19 Sep 2007 03:48

LOL @Package, that was very childish.

By you stopping to pay your instalments and getting the car repossesed, you'll be creating a bad credit record for yourself, and you might find yourself having to pay some huge amount for penalties even after the repossession. Well it all depends on whose name the car is on.

zandii!!
19 Sep 2007 03:55

neva let a man buy things that yu need rather yu take money and go buy them yo self ngekhe and whn yu yu breakin up hell start claimin things singaphela ngaadoda

presha
19 Sep 2007 03:56

A gift is a gift, demanding gifts back is so petty, if u wana buy me a mansion, I'll give it back 2 u, if I feel it's necessary. Otherwise be a man about it, cut your losses & move on 2 the next best thing.

Lex
19 Sep 2007 04:21

aowa bathong presha.

presha
19 Sep 2007 04:27

I mean y demand the material things back? when so much more was given/taken/shared in the relationship e.g love, sex, support

mabhebheza
19 Sep 2007 04:27

I witness a guy literally stripping the poor girl athi " Thandiwe who bought u this?( in that Nigerian accent) It is you Albert ,,! (ag shame skepsel)Take it off Thandiwe..! she was left naked and homeless in the street..!

ppl forget when u buy iets 4 ur loved one @that moment its a pressy ur not in debt of that gift,but also it depends what kind of a gift "car ,town houses"
haai bangani izika Khesaro back 2Khesaro...!

cocktail
19 Sep 2007 04:27

Hi guys me all i can say is dont let men buy u things,they rather give u money,in that way they cant say what u bought with the money.

Honesty sometimes is not right so dont always tell them what u bought with the money cas they can want it back when the going gets tough,so pls always have money than gifts,anyway those guys who want things back r very childish.

cocktail
19 Sep 2007 04:29

Yo Zandi i did nt notice we wrote the samething guess we have sungthing in common,you go GAL!!!!!!

njingalwazi
19 Sep 2007 04:30

Where's the guys to comment , bafethu cumon coz you're also sometimes victims of this. What do you do when you ex girlfriend does such , do you just tell her to vanish or as you usual,change your number and continue living? eish.

Cande
19 Sep 2007 04:35

Its not that easy to just let go off umuntu, some people use it to try keep in contact with their partners e.g if every week i call my ex and want something that i bought for him sometimes its because i want to speak to him and i will be making excuses.
I truly understand people who demand their stuff back, usually its out of anger.
i had a friend last year who had bought a very expensive iron for the boyfriend, the one she didn't even have.
The guy pissed her of and when it was time to break-up we influenced her and told her to demand it back.
But i will never do that, i don't think its right, akere you bought those things lo ratana, so i think you should let your ex keep them just to remind themselves of you. You should be enemies with your ex, especially if you still luv each other, so by fetching your stuff you will be causing a bad vibe between the two of you.But a car, sorry i would fetch it, thatz a bit too much!

KeleFabulous
19 Sep 2007 04:35

yes a gift is a gift and one actually has no right to demand it back. if we're talking about the law here then htat's how it is. what was given to yours is yous!

zandi's right...rather let him/her give u the money and u buy what u want with it and don't even tell him/her what exactly or how u spent that money...

speaking of money, can any1 find me a "savings account"? i'm serious!!!!

Bra Bizza
19 Sep 2007 04:40

@njingalwazi....we're here mfethu.nice topic......i wouldn't demand things back as i think this is stupid.people do those things because they're emotionally traumatised....once they calm down they realise what they did was stupid.

even if its a car or house,the fact that you afforded to buy that means you can live without it if you're no longer involved.....ke laka leo!!!

DEARTH
19 Sep 2007 04:41

Sometimes in life you should just make time to listen to what your ex has to say before making any decisions, what i mean is that maybe your ex has a reason why he/she wants to talk to you.

Package
19 Sep 2007 04:42

@ Mabhebheza.... ag shame Lindiwe... yah neh! eish Rude Albert!

i think ppl get so hurt and humiliated when relationships end that they want to hurt the other person too... its childish, and spiteful both ways...

i live in sin.... yes with the lover... so the whole house has bits and pieces from both of us! imagine if we both wanted to claim at things we bought back from each other... wud be a circus...!
but its my house so i'm not worried... and he can't touch all those things shud he decide to go AWOL

Toodecent
19 Sep 2007 04:44

The only difference between love and some relationship agreement is that in love you can still sleep and dine with your enemy..........(not sure if am understood) If you really cared about someone ... and if its time to let go , the let go. Why take the cellphone that you bought her? The clothes, Jwellery...? Just leave them its part of botshelo...atleast you will still be able to reach her on that same cellphone, you will stil see her walking around the mall in that sexy dress that you bought her...and the best part is no man will take off that Cheeky shot you bought her cause when she pulls off her jeans and look at that pink shot you will be in her mind and some of those memories will rock her mind ehehehehe... I have heard a saying that monna ke go jewa..luckily I havent experienced but come on guys just let go, go tla loka one of the good days!

DEARTH
19 Sep 2007 04:46

how can you demand something you have bought out of love? if you want it back it means that thing you bought was just an investment.

immaculate
19 Sep 2007 04:48

KeleFab: <<<speaking of money, can any1 find me a "savings account"? i'm serious!!!!>>> kekekekekekekekekekeeeeee Kele if u happen to find "it" first please please kya kopa give "it" my address!!!

My ex once demanded the promise ring he bought me_i rebelled at first but eventually gave in cos he was really becoming an irritant, only to find out he wanted to go propose to his preggies HO...how cheap and low can a person get!

zandii!!
19 Sep 2007 04:48

i dnt play like that cocktail CAPE TOWN HERE I CUM THIS WEEKEND !!!!

Bra Bizza
19 Sep 2007 04:49

@Dearth......even some investments have low returns!!!no guarantees in life

Package
19 Sep 2007 04:51

@Kele... what are on abt now...a Savings account!!?? gal is it really the platform!? well u cud try a Market Link account/ or 32day... they have nice interest rates...

@Cande.... i think moral of the story is never buy anyone a gift that keeps giving (from yo pocket)...something with instalments... imagine paying for a car for someone ur not with and that person is driving lamntu they left you for in the car u are still paying for!!!!!!!!!!!!! neva!!!!!!!!

@Bra Bizza.... im sure u mean if u've paid cash for that car... or that house...

mense!!!!!!! do ppl buy each other houses!!!!!!!????? unmarried ppl!? hayi this love is making us crazy!

DEARTH
19 Sep 2007 04:52

I have to agree with you toodecent, if you wont let go of the person you love you are just bringing pain to your self, what i mean is that if you want your gift back it will only remind of the reason you gave it to the person you once love and that will kill you inside

Dimples
19 Sep 2007 04:52

even if its a car or house,the fact that you afforded to buy that means you can live without it if you're no longer involved.....ke laka leo!!! Haai BB, you are trully generous my brother. Abasandile abafana nawe, keep it up.

tshepiso
19 Sep 2007 04:54

i know someone years ago o ne a hlolega ko magistrate court. the guy was demanding the lady's clothes back because he bought them for her whilst they were involved.

they were together for approximately 3 yrs ,
the magistrate at that court of Roodepoort asked the guy if he could atleast fill for him a teaspoon with the girl's sperm of all those years they were together - just a teaspoon and he can claim.

presha
19 Sep 2007 04:56

True Dearth,I don't understand how sum ppl expect 2 be "refunded" when relationships end, as if they were buying or hiring their girlfriend. I mean it just doesn't make sense.

Cande
19 Sep 2007 04:56

People demand their stuff when their angry, i don't blame them. but ke i don't advice anyone to do that.

KeleFabulous
19 Sep 2007 04:56

lol @ package....i'm talking here about what we ohterwise know as a minister of finance. kwa kwa kwa @ well u cud try a Market Link account/ or 32day... they have nice interest rates...

immaculate
19 Sep 2007 04:57

TDC:::<<when she pulls off her jeans and look at that pink shot you will be in her mind and some of those memories will rock her mind ehehehehe>>>

U are spot on mnganam, maaar memories will always be memories...my memories fade away at some point. This watch on my wrist_the one i stare at every 5 minutes, guess what, it's been bought by my old flame_but i hardly ever remember that!

cocktail
19 Sep 2007 04:57

Zandi 4 real gal you coming to the Cape?Where,why?

presha
19 Sep 2007 04:59

tshepiso?

zandii!!
19 Sep 2007 04:59

HAYI bra bizza IM SURE YU ARE HIGHLY ON DEMAND CAN I CLAIM MA FAIR SHARE KUWE ????

DEARTH
19 Sep 2007 05:00

I wonder if you brought each other houses, expensive clothes e.t.c, what will happen if you brack up this reminds me of kenneth and Dineo's situation

Package
19 Sep 2007 05:04

@Kele... Eish..! see what happens when u're trying to help...! LOL!

i once left a dess of mine at a boyfriends place... i think i just liked the fact that it was there... u know mos when ur young these things seem to mean something...
we then broke up and i kept calling asking for dress back at inconvenient times... i just also wanted to speak to him! when i finally got the dress back... yesses! the calling had to stop and that sucked and it spelted the end of the relationship!!!!!!!!!!! :-(
so ppl just wanna hang on to their lousy OVER relationships....!

Bra Bizza
19 Sep 2007 05:07

why buy houses and cars if you're not married???if you've got that kinda of molla to throw around then it means you're well off without it.Even in Mandla's case he was being stupid cause he could afford another one.

the guy was just angry....

zaa
19 Sep 2007 05:10

Hi guys....

I 1ce bot my ex tracksuits, when we parted i didn't demand those back. After a while, i bumped into his bimbo wearing those....can u imagine the scene? was like WTF? wanted to strangle her (if i didn't explode that day then i will never).

Package
19 Sep 2007 05:12

@Dearth .... if its petty ppl... sh*t happens! or even if its a nasty break-up, then ppl are hurt and they wanna hurt each other...

do not remind me of those two from Generations... u see yesterday was a perfect time for Dinny to bounce...! and Kenneth doesn't really want her to leave! i think if she threathens to leave and actually leaves the mashaba mansion, he cud change the contract a bit....

sanas
19 Sep 2007 05:12

it happened to me guys , I was going out with this guy for a month he bought me Prada sunglasses ( trying to impress me) after a month i told him asikwazi ukuqhubeka bcoz he became too controlling , zange athande wathi ucela isunglasses if andimfuni .

He sent his friend to collect them, 8months down the line he wants me back claiming that he can't live without me blah blah blah......isidenge sendoda

Package
19 Sep 2007 05:15

Yhooooo Zaa,................. that's why u shud get yo *bleep!* back!
eish what am i saying....

sponono
19 Sep 2007 05:16

<<Thandiwe who bought u this?( in that Nigerian accent) It is you Albert ,,! (ag shame skepsel)Take it off Thandiwe..! she was left naked and homeless in the street..! >>

ROTFLOL.....
NIGERIANS i THOUGHT THE FOREIGN DUDES ARE THE SCHWEET ONES ...phew

I must tell you guys Dont ever take anything from a girl....she will also ask for it back..or (if she's afraid to ask) she'll talk about you to her friends..espesh if she still loves you (lookin at your reply Cande-girl) I've been there and its hell if you didnt ask her to do things for you

but I think as MamaOmpha has said some of these reactions are understandable, some women/men can be really cruel e.g this guy used my cousins car-(she had initially bought it for him) to cruise around with hoz and she was paying the instalments and eventually he got one school girl preggaz -he used to collect her from school using the same car--wouldnt you want to take it back....
This other girl was goin out with a taxidirver and he paid for her school fees up to college, but then she started seeing a young ou and they would use imali kaTaxman to buy amgrosaa and all fancy stuff eRes..until he cought her and after muring her for hours emagroundini, he stripped her naked, went to the Res took the gumbagumba and other stuff...and we all thought you deserve it biaaatch...no matter what you think of taximan, that brother was done a bad deal...thats for sure...
and No its not that uya-investa, you just expect some respect and decency to be told when you're not loved than to be cheated on.

Package
19 Sep 2007 05:20

@Sponono.... yah she deserved it....! u don't that to another person! and akazoyiki izinto... disrespecting a Taxi driver..! yho she had it coming!

Suzilicious
19 Sep 2007 05:23

My man bought a house for his ex, and a contract phone, the house was on the woman's name, and they were staying together and the debit orders, both were taken from my man's accounts, when i stepped in he told me about it, and said it doesnt matter and i was like hell no. i made him cancel the debit orders, without her knowlege, dont know what happened to her though. But i guess this is a diffrent scenario altogether.

edgards
19 Sep 2007 05:24

Its a low life type of attitude and is motivated by bitterness.

presha
19 Sep 2007 05:24

But sponono, it's not only ppl who have been cheated on who demand their things back, the dumpees who have received the decency u speak of, & been told that they're no longer loved also demand their things back.

presha
19 Sep 2007 05:27

Its a low life type of attitude U have hit the nail on the head edgards! FINISH

nonkez
19 Sep 2007 05:27

i think we need to knw the nature of the break up. if some1 wer to cheat on me with my best freinn, brother or son ill will demand back wat i gave her as a token of our relationship.

Username
19 Sep 2007 05:37

If you are dumping someone that should mean you don’t want anything to do with them anymore. So return their gifts and everything they bought you. It doesn’t work like that. “Its over but I keep your gifts”. Pack everything you ever got and return to sender.

What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours.

When you buy a car for someone register it in their name, if s/he decides to pack, close your account and they must find someone else to continue with the payments.

Toodecent
19 Sep 2007 05:38

think we need to knw the nature of the break up. if some1 wer to cheat on me with my best freinn, brother or son ill will demand back wat i gave her as a token of our relationship.>>>> Nonkez yah maybe we should look at the nature of the breakup mara i still believe that if you really cred about that person and ha given them a gift or whatever...as long as it doesnt require monthly installments to be paid by you then just let go man. If it was a car...cancel the debits to be deducted from your account finish and klaar.

Leethal
19 Sep 2007 05:42

tshepiso
19 Sep 2007 05:47

Presha is true don't give that look?

Jordan
19 Sep 2007 05:53

Gifts exchanged out of marriage should be consumable or perishable! That way, there are no fights.

Suggestions: fruit baskets, flowers, chocolate, perfume. etc

MADENZA
19 Sep 2007 05:53

According to me if you demand the things you bought for your Ex- back, you have a mental problem finish and klaar.

nonkez
19 Sep 2007 06:02

wat if the car was fully paid???? and i let her run away with it??? next thing i see her with another man in the car that i bought with my car????? haibo guys, think about it.......

petty things like clothing, i would let go but not luxury things like cars. MAKAKHWELE I TAXI

mazi
19 Sep 2007 06:03

mna i thnk it all depends ukuthi yenzeke njani ibrk up. i knw smguy who was cheated on by her galfrand when the guy caught the sfebe the guy took everything she bought for her including g-strings and wazitshisa zonke ezompahla, yho zange ikhale kangaka intombi cz she knew ukuthi she wld neva afford those designer clothes.

LM
19 Sep 2007 06:06

e.g this guy used my cousins car-(she had initially bought it for him) to cruise around with hoz and she was paying the instalments and eventually he got one school girl preggaz -he used to collect her from school using the same car--wouldnt you want to take it back....

Most of the time in a relationship where the woman is working but the brother is not...and at the same get to use the car , control the budget at home (vat -en-sit)and etc...there is usually some dishonesty in the whole set-up (someone is using the other). Once the bro gets a job, he is out of there in a flash. I have seen it happening to my cousin and also to my colleague.

Eish....getting your things back neh...bare love is blind or makes you blind (one of the two). This might not be exactly related to this article but how many cohabiting couples have got a contract stipulating how they gonna share whatever they have aquired together (bills and assets). Who will get that refrigerator if the sister ...say...paid R1000 deposit and the bro took over the installments?

monwy
19 Sep 2007 06:09

hi peeps

gifts are not meant to be returned, anganya umntu kum. if ukuphile its urs for good unless ke u decided to take it back to him.

thabilele
19 Sep 2007 06:11

Hi all, This is so funny cos i remember i once had BF who qwanted his photos from after we broke up and unfortunately i had burned them after i found out he was cheating on me. Even before he knew i've found out.hahahahaa

thabilele
19 Sep 2007 06:17

I think about the car u just have to ur ex to continue paying for the instalments.hahahah But some people a crazy how culd u buy a BF/GF a car?

Bra Bizza
19 Sep 2007 06:21

i see people can be mean here at TVSA....when you leave a person,you leave her/him with all that belongs to him/her.....it doesn't matter how it ended....the bottom line is that you're leaving and cant bring him/her along....if you catch my drift.so gifts are a part of that person unless you said i'm buying this for US and not for you my love....

about exotic gifts it will teach how to spend your money wisely...think with your head and not your......you'll finish that one.

spux5
19 Sep 2007 06:35

yah neh! i use to think like most of you here calling those guys crazy,stupid, idiots,losers etc,until i become a victim of some emotionless b*tch ( she use to tell her friends im minister of gifts) ,in my case it worked because feeled much realived after that,even though most of the staff i sold them cheaper.not to say i condone the behaviour, imagine im to meet her at some plek with some new bf wearing staff i bought her.

hotgossip
19 Sep 2007 06:36

when you leave someone u dont claim what you offer him/her!!!!!!!!!!!!!
visit this blog www.hotgossip.blog.co.za

nonkez
19 Sep 2007 06:40

gifts are not meant to be returned, anganya umntu kum

ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! thats a bit hursh monwy dnt u think?

mazi
19 Sep 2007 06:42

bra bizza u r a true gentlemen

Toodecent
19 Sep 2007 06:42

Tell you what wena afisangmaaka you just posted in the best Blog site in the whole Southern Africa wa utlwa..? And we dont do charity advertising.

immaculate
19 Sep 2007 06:54

Bra Bizza...u have just paved ur way into my list of stalkees!

monchooza
19 Sep 2007 07:01

okwami ngokwami, okwakho ngokwakho...........

azHOT
19 Sep 2007 07:13

www.hotgossip.blog.co.za
WTF?

Package
19 Sep 2007 07:14

I think Bra Bizza is macking these ladies...
BraBizza wait till u deal with a heartless B*tch who'll spend yo cash and gifts with a another man...! Bra BIzza as we know him will be gone...

different strokes for different folks...

yho guys there's this couple i know... the guy is some 'hotshot ' business guy, opening clubs and goes to Jozi and comes back with long nice cars for him and his lady.... he's an idiot tho, he has amacheri all over...well when he was hot!

few months ago the gal quit her job and esithi udiniwe kuphangele... only to find out usisi does not even get paid... the brother got her into sooo much debt, that before she gets paid the authorities take their share from her pay check leaving her with nothing. apparently he got blacklisted and the new business ventures were opened up in her name... the cars he gives her, she'll drive for 2-3mnths and they disappear...
so she can't leave him, or she won't... and she's blacklisted and can't get employed at some places.....
so the things ppl do when "inlove" are just crazy.........

andi01
19 Sep 2007 07:17

I have been reading every1 responses 4 so long but cant comment coz i never had a man buy me gifts, (chocolates dont count). But to be honest i think bailing ur partner out when in need its OK but buying him a car thats 2 much, but incase u do, when he cheats or leave take it back coz ezikakhesare kukhesare.

velolo
19 Sep 2007 07:23

for me i enter a relation ship with nothing except my heart and spending quality time coz ke I dont want such things when they happend I claim and he claim other than the food and movies we take each other to.by the time he claims food is a *bleep!* and for the movie it would have been forgotten by now.My moto I dont buy guys things and i dont any thing from them either excpet good time

Leethal
19 Sep 2007 07:30

If you know you r a small minded person who'll demand gifts back after a lover's spat then i suggest you do like Kenneth Mashaba from Generations:draft a contract with a clause that says if it ever happens that we break -up then you leave all that i ever bought for you), that is if you are an ngamla and can afford an attorney.

I once bought a microwave for my BF as a gift and after our terrible break-up i never demanded itback,there was one time i wantedto but i said to myself What the heck he can have it for all i care.It will be a little memorabilia of what was once.
What i'm trying to say is there is no point in demanding gifts back...............

Toodecent
19 Sep 2007 07:37

Velolo u just reminded me of some good old memories...damn where is my cellphone? hi hi hi.. The relationships that I have been into were wonderfull ones.. both parties entered the relationship with one thing in mind and only one thing.... I love this person and I wanna have fun with them and enjoy every moments. Gifts ould always be there..talking about CD's perfumes, T shirts and Chocolates nothing fancy. When going out even the bill would be shared, i would ask why but then get the answer that u dont have to always do things for me. It was great when we broke up there were no hassles cause no one digged the gold out of no one..

Uless eople are married then they should share things but if not...buy yours I will buy mine...u get the TV I get the fridge we live together when the going gets tough I get my fridge and start bugetting for a tv ehehehe. Gifts are gifts...u keep what I bought you and I keep what u bought me.

Cande
19 Sep 2007 07:38

People who buy each other cars and houses are too much(especially before they get married), ka Setswana sa ko gae rare "Se sa feleng, se a tlhola". the same goes with your relationships, it is going to come to an end nomakanjani and we need to always keep that at the back of our minds.
when you buy each other pressies, think with your head not you heart because it can make you do crazee stuff.
I dont have a problem with buying each other gifts, because its out of love. So i don't see why you need to take them back. even if it was a phone, i mean the batery will eventually finish, or it will get lost, or stolen. at the end both of you wont have the phone.

Cande
19 Sep 2007 07:46

Uless eople are married then they should share things but if not...buy yours I will buy mine...u get the TV I get the fridge we live together when the going gets tough I get my fridge and start bugetting for a tv ehehehe. Gifts are gifts...u keep what I bought you and I keep what u bought me.

Well said TDC, my friends always say im playing big as far as man are concerned. When we go out i want to at least pay for something, or if he takes me out this time, i take him out next time. I don't want to be anyone's charity case where am the only one who is always receiving.
Men who always buy you gifts and give you money they end up feeling like the own you, i want a man to know that the can be me without him.
When a couple stay in a flat together, each one of them must pay half of the rent, each one must buy their own stuff, so that at the end when they break up it gets a little eaasier.

Bra Bizza
19 Sep 2007 07:55

LOL @Package.....i aint macking.....i've been burnt as well but that life....no one asked you to spend money on her so you should accept whatever comes out of that relationship....the situation you speaking about used to be common back at tech and was one of the culprits.couldn't say no to pizza's being bought by minister of finance.

man sometimes create these types of environments where its all about spending not thinking what is it that they're creating.people need to think using their heads and not the d....

just as TDC puts it u keep what I bought you and I keep what u bought me.

Tshd21
19 Sep 2007 08:11

Good people, to avoid all the hassles of thinking whether you should let go or get them presents back, do not buy gifts unless it's his/her birthday, and when you do buy things like: Perfume, photo albums, mugs written "u r the world's greatest lover" or something that should you break up, you won't cry over.

BUT if you believe that gifts should not be returned, go ahead and spoil em rotten.

But ladies, if he buys you something as big as a car or house, make sure it is on your name!

Gucci
19 Sep 2007 08:32

Let LoverMan keep his gifts and I keep his.....nothin wrong unless he wants 'em back then I gotta give. Dont stress if u bought him a tracksuit and the girlie in his life wears it.....dont blow in Anger....just pity them coz clearly they cant afford to buy a New one to replace urs! Buying each other Houses and Cars is a definate NO unless there's a wedding in Plan.

gaitsedi
19 Sep 2007 09:07

@tshi21 yooooo dont say do you think even engagement ring you must not takeit,My EX was a (DOc) after we breakup he came back bla bla,so i was like im sorry you said you dont want me anymore oook,he said bring my ring back.... nagana he pullit out like nobody business.anyway it went like that

sponono
19 Sep 2007 09:24

you can buy someone a car if your sruname is Motsepe, but preferably buy them an UNO or Tazz...and even buy them a matchbox house in the township...so if they dump you or cheat on you, they wont be chomaring about those..to people who know you could have bought them more....

otherwise buying someone a CAR of HOUSe is just NOT ON unless you are married, even then, when people get divorced the assets thing can be a pain..rather stick to "disposable" materials, clothing gifts ect

Felixilizer
20 Sep 2007 02:24

we will never have consensus on this issue basically because we are on the opposite side of the fence here,we have givers (guys) & receivers (ladies).

Blossom
20 Sep 2007 02:43

My take is that when you buy the gift it was out of love, so why want it back , did you buy it on conditions. Mhh mhh!!!

WhiteSockGirl
20 Sep 2007 02:51

When I break up with my fiance, I sent back ALMOST everything. I sent back a laptop computer, PC, every single card and pictures, left over perfumes... but not all the jewelery. I kept the ring (gave it to my mother) and this gorgeous white gold chain. Man, I could just not part with that chain!
It cost me a fortune to send back the stuff (he is in the states), and I demanded that he send me a refund. He sent me the refund. Even though he did not demand the stuff back, he actually told me to keep it. But I did not want any reminders of him (except for that chain),...

monchooza
20 Sep 2007 03:10

we have givers (guys) & receivers (ladies).@ Felixilizer_ its not in all cases that men are givers and women are receivers

Annonymous
20 Sep 2007 03:24

Thank u Monchooza, there are alot of woman who are givers as well...............mina personally I don't like receiving stuff, it's fine if it's done in considerate amounts, but when there is too much giving & receiving of materials, a person tends to be clouded and u fail to see if u really love them for who they are or is it the material things that u provide that are of value in the relationship!!!!

Pru
20 Sep 2007 07:28

I don't understand why a person would want what he/she bought you back ,bcoz i don't think that he/she tells you when he/she gives you the thing that you must bring it back when you guyz have broken up.I find that very childish and immature.

T-girl
20 Sep 2007 10:08

I think it must be 50/50 to both in a relationship. There is no such thing called "Love is blind" it's just we are the one that choose not to see. 50/50 should work just fine so that no one is going to demand nothing when the relationship is over.

Girl stop "ukubheja amadoda" just because you feel he is going to leave you if you dont buy hi thingz. You call that insecurity.

Boys stop trying to be in cotrol, you buy her things and you expect to be her boss that where the fighting will start. Remember you were not forced to by her things, it was your own choice.