Somewhere at the back of my mind, I've always had this nagging feeling that SEX really is over-rated. Dunno, maybe I've discovered the real reason why there's no mention of anyone enjoying it in the bible is 'cause it's meant to be for pro-creation!
Argh, I know that good sex can be great and that great sex can be highly satisfying (have a problm with the word mind-blowing cause I don't think anyone who's mind is being blown is thinking they're having an orgasm!) at times but I still think that nothing is more satisfying that tucking into a great meal..hmmm now that I could do everyday.
Maybe I missed out on that set of hormones that makes me wanna tear the clothes off a man's back (that and super strength) and straddle him till my breasts sag! I mean really, wouldn't you rather be eating a gourmet meal, laughing so hard your stomach hurts with tears rolling down your cheeks cause you've never felt so alive? Quite frankly, i still haven't discovered what the fuss is all about-and blv me when i tell you that I have had a lot of sex.
It's a great position to be in when you're feeling horny and your partner's right there to satisfy your need/craving, isn't it? Yeah, it's a good feeling when your body trembles or tingles with pleasure to his/her touch/tongue but then the feeling's gone when the orgasm subsides (WTF!). I can still taste the falvour of the food and even laugh at the gr8 conversation hours later!
It would be something to have a man that could fit into my wallet so I could let him out whenever the need arises, like:
1. when i'm reading one of those e-mails in SeSotho/isiZulu that are really porn reads only in vernac
2.when I've been sex-chatting to my man either on the phone or sms or e-mail.
3.when a colleague inevitably send you a sex-video
cause you gotta know-if u don't- that those things can make one very hot.
and then put him right back in my wallet for later use (evil grin!).
I know someone's probably thinking i should get myself a vibrator and I will tell you right now that I WILL NOT. It's bad enough that I have to change and wash the sheets every week, I so don't have the time to be washing a vibrator (do people put a condom over a vibrator BTW) and I'm too careless with my stuff to worry about places to hide it. I'm also too impatient to wait for people to leave the house so I can wash it and clean it-oh and I can't imagine a muffled orgasm, damn can you imagine my mother walking in on me while i'm *ahem* in the act? I failing to get that thought outta my head!
Basically, vibrators (isn't there another term for this) don't appeal to me and I'd be too embarrased to shop for one or even use one...i'd have trouble stopping myself from laughing at myself.
Yeah, I've really thought about everything and I'd still rather have good food and even good wine than have sex. What is it with people that have marathon session ala the Karma Sutra? Have people not discovered hot, fast and furious yet? What's with the candle-lit LOOOONG baths, rose petals strewn on the bedroom floor, strawberries and cream and sipping champagne from each other's glasses? Is that really romantic? The hours and hours of love making beg the question, girls doesn't it get uncomfortable down there after a while?