Desperate Housewives >> 3x18 Liaisons Original Airdate: Thursday 12 July 2007, 20h30 M-Net
Edie and Carlos:Since Marcia Cross Maternity Leave off the show and the entire Van De Hodge family wiped off Wisteria Lane, except for Andrew; the show has turned focus on it’s two ugly step children who seem to now sex up the limelight.
Edie’s apparently very bored, she hasn’t had sex since the days of Mike, and is considering doing her gardener, who unlike Gabby’s isn’t a 16 year could be Tommy Hillfinger Underwear Model. Anyways desperate Edie’s walking down Wisteria Lane and spots Carlos playing with her son Travis, only to think to herself, “Hey you know what, I haven’t shagged Carlos yet!” Alas there’s hope for Edie’s sex life, and she tries to pursue Carlos using her son, but it fails miserably in her face. However Edie decides to bare her soul, cleavage and C-Section scar, in hopes that it will turn Carlos on. Sadly it does. Amazing, but anyways they do their dirty deeds. On paper both Edie and Carlos are very passionate, however with each other; the sex sucked and it was very clear neither of them would be shagging each other any time soon.
Travis however later overhears Carlos on the phone with his cousin, who was exchanging bad date stories say that Edie is bad in bed, only to ignorantly report this to his mother, asking what exactly it means. Edie then confronts Carlos about the alleged slander against her sex and it turns out they both felt the sex wasn’t aweful, so they decided to try again. The passion was there, but the table just couldn’t hold all of Edie and her breasts, so it broke. The two ended up going to an Emergency Unit to check out their ‘wounds’ obviously the biggest scar was that, they just can’t have great sex. Can somebody just say Menopause!
So Edie and Carlos decide to hold back on the sex for a bit, because it’s just not working and decide to have a family day together bonding at the Zoo with Travis. Edie makes a comment that somebody mistook them for a real family and if they were they would be a gorgeous family. This turns Carlos on and they make out, which according to Mary Alice leads to passionately great sex.
Susan, Ian and Mike:
Ian and Mike share more than they love for oranges, it's thier love for Susan too... or maybe thier suprsessed love for each other.
Ian is incredibly annoying me, someone please send the divine intervention to strip this man of his accent and horrible fashion. Fortunately this did happen, unfortunately Mike was there to save him.
Ian on the phone to Susan whose sampling the free cheese, multiple times. It was then that Ian decided that they should move to London where nothing's really sampled and free.
Mike too couldn't believe that Ian is still on the show, who the hell is paying off the Casting Director?
Ian is incredibly jealous of Mike and his paranoia sinks in and he suspects Mike of following Susan and him around, well can you blame Mike, since his lack of storyline, this is what his been de-graded to; Susan and Ian’s shadow. Anyways this comes in sort of handy when Susan and Ian are in a car accident after Ian proposes that he and Susan move to London, for reasons that his jealous for Mike, but he doesn’t say this. Anyways the classic thing happens and there’s a deer standing in the road in broad daylight and Susan tries to avoid it and ends up driving into a Lake.
Although it appears to be Susan just being clumsy and causing an accident, I believe this was Susan's attempt for mass suicide to kill of Ian.
This was not the best time for Ian to tell Susan, just like the Queen and half of England, he cannot swim. Susan now realises why he always showers.
Lucky for Ian, his lovers's lover and secret lover; Mike was there to save the day and save his British ass while Susan was finding Shore, Ian was finding Nemo using Mike.
It's official, Ian is now Mike's bitch, Mike saved his ass. While Susan does a prayer to the earth quickly for sparing her life.
Despite Ian still being alive and speaking or her car being written off and sinking, Susan finds some happiness in the fact that her Free Cheese Samples got saved. Thank Mike for the dinner!
It is revealed that the English man cannot swim and thinks his gonna drown. It’s really pathetically sad, but I’m basking in the idea of Ian drowning slowly and I’m having flashbacks to Titanic with Jack and Rose while Jack is dying. Unfortunately this doesn’t happen because Mike sees them in the Lake while driving past and immediately dives in to save them. Susan swims to shore, while Ian has to hold onto Mike for dear life, bet ya Ian was regretting all those times he was a complete bitch to Mike Delfino in the past.
The psychological impact of not the accident, but of Mike saving Ian and Mike being the hero causes some ‘erectile’ problems for Ian in bed. Especially after Susan wants to give Mike a big ‘Thanks for Saving Our Lives’ gift. Ian’s just a jealous Englishman with an aweful accent. It is however revealed to Susan that the reason of him wanting Susan to move to London and him not able to perform in bed is because of Mike. Is it true, could Ian be gay and secretly lusting over Mike and not Susan? No. It’s Susan who’s still in love with Mike and Ian whose the jealous party.
Mike's as shocked as we are that Susan still has feelings for him, well can we blame him, with someone like Ian, Susan should even have feels for Ida Greenburg.
Susan goes over, after a fight about Mike to Ian, to Mike to give him the present; in the middle of the night no less and one thing leads to another and they kiss. Now Susan is torn between Mike and Ian especially after she thought she buried her feelings for Mike, but they just surged right back.
Lynette & Tom:
Since Tom’s accident and him being bed ridden for almost 3 months, Lynette is forced to take charge at the Restaurant which results in her looking for a new manager because she can’t handle taking care of the kids, Tom, and the restaurant all in one.
Things aren’t however looking good when all the candidates are pathetically stupid, however Lynette then interviews and meets Rick, who used to be a chef at a four-star restaurant. She asks him why he wants to go slumming and he admits he turned to cocaine to deal with the stress. She's sold but Tom, who's cranky and in pain, vetoes the idea of hiring an ex-junkie.
Things are further complicated when Tom’s a real ass to Mrs. McClusky whose looking after him and she leaves him, takes the kids and leaves them at the Pizzeria for Lynette to look after while running the Restaurant. Lynette can’t handle the pressure and cracks under the stress. Luckily for her Rick shows up and takes charge of the situation and automatically his hired.
Lynette puts pressure on Tom that she can’t do everything and still look after him, and that he needs to apologise to Mrs. McClusky.
Gabby & Victor:
So now things are finally prospect good for a possible relationship, but Gabrielle doesn’t want to just yet sleep with Victor and keeps him waiting.
Ironically this actor played a sexed up politican on Sex and the City as well. So it's official, sex and politics go hand in hand.
However at his Campaign Speech, Gabby mysteriously turned on by Victors charm for the female audience and this entices her to consider Victor as a sexual lover. She drags Victor off into his limo, rips of her clothes and who knew politics was such a turn on for Gabby.
Gabby's causing a Wisteria Lane version of the Monica Lewensky scandal...
Things don’t look good then next day when she doesn’t hear from Victor at all, because Gabby thrives in the after sex obsession-attention. So with the help of Edie and Susan who I see are now friends again, Gabby devises a plan to make Victor jealous and get him where it hurts. At Victor's big debate with the mayor, Gabby walks in late with Toby; the guy who was repairing Gabby’s closet. They sit in the front row and she puts her hand on his knee. Victor's sufficiently rattled that he can barely concentrate on the debate. Satisfied she's gotten her point across, Gabrielle and Toby waltz out, arm in arm. Victor sends her bouquet after bouquet and she still won't call him back, so he finally shows up in person with another one. He says what he did was thoughtless but her humiliating him in public was vicious. He tells her that unlike his political race, their relationship is not about winning, but about being happy, which Gabby falls for and embraces Victor and they finally do it and do it right.
Mrs. McClusky & The I-Scream:
Karen McClusky's bitten off more ice-cream than she can chew with a body in her freezer.
So over the course of the series, everytime we’ve seen Mrs. McClusky, more often at Lynette’s house she’s been seen eating Ice Creams, so it really wasn’t a surprise when one of my favourite housewives was eating ice cream in this episode, despite her talking to her dead husband Gilbert. It was even more of a shock when I realized the reason Mrs. McClusky loves her ice creams, is because it’s right next to her dead husbands body- in her freezer.
MAVO of the Week:
Passion. It’s a force so potent, we remember it, long after it’s faded away. (We see Mrs. McClusky think of her late husband- Gilbert)
A drive so alluring, it can push us into the arms of unexpected lovers. (We see Carlos and Edie make love by the fireplace).
A sensation so overwhelming, it can knock down walls we’ve build to protect our hearts. (We see Victor and Gabby making love)
A feeling so intense it resurfaces, even though we’ve tried to hard to keep it buried. (We see Ian and Susan making love)
Yes, of all emotions, Passion is the one that gives us a reason to live, and an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes. (We see Mrs. McClusky go to her freezer to get an ice cream and see the dead body in the freezer.)