Desperate Housewives: 3x04 Like It Was

Dear Housewives Fans,

Apologies for the late posting of this recap- between the Easter holiday and some other things, I have just been too busy to post it.

Please note that the next few articles will be 'Imageless' unfortunetly due to a little ugly term called Bandwith.

Episode 4: Like It Was

Original Episode Airdate: Thursday 05 April, 20h30

Mike Delfino has woken up from his coma, and has no recollection of the past two years, and Edie is there to fill in the blanks. Susan is still in the country with Ian, when she receives the news. Bree finds her family is anything but perfect. Lynette is determined not to let Parker quit baseball because he made a commitment, even though he's terrible at it. Carlos moves back into the Solis house, much to Gabrielle's displeasure.



In what appears to be where exactly where the previous episode left off; Mike Delfino wakes up and Edie is the first one to find out. Once she was sure that he was responsive she started screaming: “Code Red!” and you’d think Edie would have been watching ‘Grey’s Anatomy’. The news of Mike’s return started to spread like wildfire. Nurses told Dr. Craig who then called his aunt Ida Greenburg, which is how news travelled to Wisteria Lane; one thing that baffles me is why would the Doctor phone Ida? Its none of her business, but needed with the plot. Since this is the same day and in continuation, Lynette and Tom would have just returned from their road trip. Ida then runs over and tells Lynette who then tells Tom whose playing a computer game. He then emails Carlos whose with his lawyers, and he calls his soon to be ex-wife Gabrielle whose doing the same (however she wasn’t doing this at the end of the episode). She called Bree who was baking who then told Danielle about it, she then phoned Julie Mayer. But Julie couldn’t reach Susan because there was no signal in the mountains…and she was busy with Ian in the tub doing naughty! Shame on you Susan!!

At last the Van Der Hodge family is re-united together. Well since last week Satan’s Spawn popped back from a visit form downtown dumpster Hell. I must say Bree’s family is more vicious that Orson could ever be. Speaking of family names, Bree’s taken on “Bree Hodge” don’t you miss “Van Der Kamp” sounded so Bree like. Anyways Danielle is preparing her history project. While Bree, Orson and Andrew are having a breakfast- waffles- you’d think after being homeless for 8 months, Bree would give her son a nutritious breakfast! Nope, Bree’s busy worrying about an alibi for Andrew’s absence! Get with it women- what was your story for the last 8 months when everyone asked where was Andrew? Being Bree, living up to an image, she can’t say that he has been eating out of dumpster. Orson suggests they say Andrew was at drama camp, that Andrew has been there whole this time to improve his performing skills- and boy did he perform! Andrew just wants to say the truth but Bree is already thinking about the name of the drama camp.

Gabrielle didn’t get her spousal support and to support her very lavish life style of shopping and soaps, Gabby decides to have a yard sale and sell off Carlos’ stuff to fund her lifestyle. If Carlos has been living in an apartment for about 7 months, why on earth does he have so much of stuff still there! She invites Carlos over and his shocked to see Gabrielle’s selling all of his stuff- and at a bargin too;
Carlos: Gabby I’m trying to be civil, if you don’t knock it off right now, I swear the gloves are coming off.
Gabrielle: (To Carlos) Oh honey, the gloves aren’t just off, (to the shoppers), They’re 70% off, get your Cashmere gloves!

Has anyone noticed that Lynette hasn’t been to work this season? Hallelujah the writers are keeping Lynette at home where she deserves to be while secretly earning an income to support unemployed husband Tom. Anyways Lynette, who seems to only have one child this entire episode, where are the other two- saw them on Cheaper By the Dozen II the other night, and can’t say Penny’s with Mrs. McClusky- she was there too. Lynette asks Parker to dress his uniform because he has his baseball game in an hour. He says that he quit because he sucks and Tom allowed him to quit. Lynette doesn’t want her son to be a quitter so she ushers him outside to go and practice. He is keeping his eyes closed all the time and he complains that Lynette is throwing the ball too fast. And then I ask myself why is the mother doing this, when this is a husband sport- then I realise it’s Lynette we’re talking about- the ominparent! Tom tells Lynette that Parker really does suck but she is determine that Parker plays till the end of season because he has only five games left.
(Lynette practising baseball with Parker.)
Tom: What are you guys doing?
Lynette: I'll tell you what were not doing, quitting.
Tom: Hey buddy, did you change your mind?
Parker: NO!

While Susan and Ian clearly missed the cut off point from last week’s “Weekend In the Country” episode, everyone has returned to Wisteria Lane and resumed their busy desperate lives and Susan and Ian think it would have been fun to stay another day or so in the country (after staying in a week). Well the people of Wisteria Lane must be counting their double blessings, no Ian or Susan and gasp Susan was doing dishes- a housewife chore! Ian then in his Englishmen annoying stupidity tells Susan that “he may love her” Susan is of course God smacked after last weeks confession with being with 11 men she could now add him as number 12. Which reminds me in the entire series alone, Susan’s had about 4 lovers- now for a women of 40-something in 3 years- 4 lovers- do the math, is Ms. Mayer lying about her past with men. Anyways Susan is somewhat sort of pleased when she sees that another man actually likes her, completely forgetting about Mike who just woke up- yeah we knew Susan had the worst timing—ever!!

Edie is feeding Mike who just woke up from a coma. Mike wants to go home to unpack. Edie tells him that the whole street is dying to see him and Bree is baking a pie. He asks himself if Bree is the red haired woman and Edie says that she is. He says that she has a husband a doctor and Edie says that Rex passed away a year and a half ago. Mike says that he doesn’t remember going to the funeral. Edie asks him which year is it and he says that it is 2004.
It turns out that he has a memory loss. He doesn’t remember two whole years. He might partially return his memory if there is someone to fill the blanks and Edie is prepared to fill them.

Parker is playing his baseball game and he sucks big time- bad parenting from Tom’s part this time. He is embarrassing Lynette and Tom but woman sitting next to Lynette says that it is not her Parkers fault because he is playing against the best pitcher in the league- who’s 11 and has the arm of a 13 year old. She says that Nicky is her neighbour. Slyly Lynette wants to know more about him.

Nicky is buying candy floss but he doesn’t have enough money, when Lynette arrives and offers to pay for the candyfloss and asks him to walk and talk. Lynette tells him that she knows that their family is having financially difficulty, especially seeing as that his father has recently lost his job- so money is hard. Nicky tells her that his allowance got cut. So Lynette pulls out a Fifty and asks, “Have you ever seen any of these baby’s”? Lynette and Nicky strike a deal and this is the day that proved to me that Lynette Scavo is a desperate mom- the day she bribed an 11 year old with a $50 note in hope to improve her son’s game!!

(Gabrielle sees Carlos waiting for her in front of her house)
Gabrielle: Carlos, what are you doing here? I mean, besides lowering my property value.

Gaby returns home just to see that Carlos is waiting for her outside the house for her; He says to her that he gave in to her demands to spousal support however because of this, he will need to cut back on some things- including his expensive apartment and since he will be giving all that money he won’t be able to buy some stuff and his lawyer says that it is completely legal to come home. He opens the trunk gets his suitcase and says: “Honey. I’m home”. Gaby is completely shocked.
Carlos: Now that’s the look I’m looking for!

Parker is in the game again and Nicky throws the ball too slow but Parker can’t hit it anyway. Can imagine Lynette starting to dread giving Nicky a $50 if her plan fails. However Parker managed to hit the ball third time the charm, however the ball hits Nicky in his face- why didn’t he move- I don’t know either. Nicky’s down and everyone runs up to him, and they discover the $50. Nicky points to Lynette as the person who bribed him and Lynette and Tom run off.

Bree is at the History Project Fare with Danielle and she meet’s Danielle’s History teacher- Mr. Falati, who from the moment told Bree, “don’t tell anyone, but she’s my favourite student,” that something was up. What teacher says that when there isn’t extra curricular activities going on outside the classroom! Mr. Falati sees Andrew and asks where he has been all this time and Bree says that he was in a very prestigious drama camp. Andrew is looking at a another History project and he sees a man and he asks if he knows him and Andrew tells him that he gave him a ride in a black Sedan once- ‘the one with the reclining seats’. Yes the viewers and Poor Dr. Keck got it that moment- and he freaks out and runs away and Orson asks him what is happening between him and Dr.Keck and Andrew tell him that he “preformed” once. Orson is completely shocked and once again probably wondering why on earth did he marry into this family- at least so quickly.

Later that evening, Bree wants to know what Orson has been talking about with Andrew at the history project fare. Orson tells her that Andrew had done something that he is not proud of. Bree is obviously very slow, and after basically spelling it out extensively to her, Orson finally managed to get the message across when he tells her that they do it but he doesn’t pay for it. Bree is out of her mind.

Orson: When Andrew was on the street, he...uh...he didn't just beg for money. At times he...well, he did things to earn it.
Bree: Well, good. I mean, I'd hate to think he had no work ethic at all.
Orson: What I mean is, men hired him...uh...to do things...things he wasn't very proud of.
Bree: Yardwork?
Orson: 'Fraid not.
Bree: Orson, you're scaring me. Did he do something awful?
Orson: No, no. Not awful. People do it all the time. I do it with you. I just don't pay you for it.
Bree: (her jaw drops and she gasps)
Orson: I think someone could use some cocoa.

I am loving Orson, just a pity that he has some terrible secret- he seems to fit into this family amazingly and is just working so well with Bree!! Amazing stuff! Orson goes into the kitchen to make her a coco. Bree can’t believe that Howard Keck is gay.

Bree: But he plays on Tom Scavo’s bowling team.
Orson: Well that’s apparently not the only team his plays for!

Orson wants to cut a pie that Bree had made earlier, but Bree tells him that it is for Mike. Orson is shocked to learn that Mike woke up from his coma. Yay! Finally thank god- but how is it that Orson hadn’t known about Mike awaking from his coma- why must Bree leave messages when they married and live in the same house? Anyways can’t wait to see what’s going on and why he knocked over Mike--- oh wait- damn Mike has a coma- how damn convenient!

The remaining housewives in Wisteria Lane meet at Gabby’s house and it sadly isn’t to celebrate that Susan isn’t in the neighbourhood- Instead Bree has a tough housewife question and wants advice from Gabby and Lynette.

Bree: I'm not telling who it is. I'm just asking the question. If you know a husband has been unfaithful, do you tell the wife?
Lynette: Absolutely! If he's been cheating, he could bring home a disease.
Bree: Okay, that's what I was thinking. I mean, that's how Bunny Connors got chlamydia.
Gabrielle: She told me she got it from wearing someone else's bathing suit.
Lynette: No, that's how she got crabs.
Gabrielle: With Bunny, it's always something. If it's not the clap, it's a botched face lift.

Lynette thinks that she should tell her but Gabrielle tells her that women always wants to know if the husband has been unfaithful but they will always hate the person who tells them that- which in theory is true and make sense. Lynette and Gabby have a very sweat moment together;

Lynette: So you wouldn’t tell me if Tom was having an affair.
Gabrielle: No. I wouldn’t. But I’d hire someone to kick his ass.
Lynette: Aw, that’s so sweet of you!

Carlos comes into the kitchen with only sleeping gear and Gabrielle is freaked out! She asks him what he is doing wandering around the house exposing his body to her guests- as if Gabby- Lynette and Bree are furniture by now! He tells her that somebody threw his laundry out of the machine why it was still wet and she Gabrielle tells him that he deserved …

Gabrielle: (to Carlos) You peed in my shampoo. Admit it! The cap was loose and I know how your sick mind works!
Carlos: (to Gabrielle) Oh really well in that case you should know that I wouldn't do it to your shampoo I'd do it to your mouthwash, soup and de-caffeinated coffee! (She goes back to sit down with the girls)
Gabrielle: (to the girls) To answer your question, no we are not getting back together.
They all pick up the coffee. Stare at each other, and put the coffee down.

Susan is with Ian in bed. She tells him that she had never been in Paris and he tells her that he can take her there next month. Her phone rings when it automatically conveniently find reception. She can’t hear it well because of the signal but she understands that Mike woke up from his coma when Julie calls here. She is completely shocked and immediately wants to go back to Fairview.
(Susan is in bed with Ian when Julie calls to tell her Mike woke from his coma.)
Susan: Oh my God...
(She looks at Ian)
Susan: Oh my GOD!!

I really am so bored with Lynette’s “Storyline of the Week”- well maybe it’s because Nora hasn’t been in this episode- Hallelujah- but it is making things dulls with the Scavo’s I must say! Lynette is home with Tom and the coach just called to inform them that Parker is off the team and so is Nicky. Lynette is shocked to hear that Nicky is kicked off too- however doesn’t phase her that her own son is kicked off. Tom identified Lynette’s need for Parker not be a failure and compares it to his own situation. Tom is pissed off at Lynette because she promised that she will support him on catching his dream but it is obvious that she hates that he is not working with ad companies. Parker walks into the room and asks if they are fighting but Lynette tells him that they just decided to celebrate that he can quit baseball but he doesn’t want to quit now because he just started to be better- oh crap!

Susan is extremely anxious to return home to Mike, packing and hurrying back home but Ian is slow (in Susan’s terms) and she tells him that she bets that he would move faster if Jane woke up- pushing a nerve that didn’t need to be pushed! That’s Susan for you- there for you when the Sex is good and out of there a past lover resurrects!

Edie finally returns to her nemesis status to Susan and moves in on Mike. She carefully re-writes Mike’s history, eliminating Susan and blackening her name. She tells Mike not to worry because she’s a stalker, but now she’s up in the mountains with a new guy and has moved on- there’s some small truth in Edie’s words.

Orson came to visit Mike, Lord only wondering what he can possibly achieve in broad-daylight; possibly suffocate Mike with his pillow. Unfortunetly Edie is there and the Doctor tells him that Mike’s memory has been erased. Much to Orson’s relief, he leaves- without worrying about anything!

Carlos went to get some stuff at the shop, but he can’t get into the house. He knocks on the big window and tells Gaby to open up because his key won’t work. She tells him that she had the locks changed. He grabs the chair and throws it into the window. Meanwhile Gabrielle called 911 and said that there is an intruder breaking into her home. Its quite comedic the way Gabrielle doesn’t even blink when the chair comes flying through the window, and love her little comment at the end of the call, “Oh and you better hurry- I think his Mexican.”

Carlos is telling the cops that he is her husband and this is her house. Gabrielle tells them that they are going through a very messy divorce and cop says to Carlos that his wife did all sorts of things to him when they split up. They release Carlos. Gabrielle is mad because they can’t pick sides and playfully punches the cop a little bit. They arrest her for assault and its so hilarious seeing Gabrielle resist arrest not wanting to fit her little body into the police car.

Lynette is talking to the coach that Parker plays just another game and he will suck and he will want to quit again. Coach then decided to see Lynette as a cash cow and continue bribing and says that they could use a new helmets and Lynette will pay for it.

Bree visits Dr.Keck’s wife Vera. She tells her about her husband and she is mad that she told her and she tells her something about her family too. It turns out that Danielle is sleeping with her history teacher.
Vera: Oh but where are my manners. I should have bought biscuits with that.

Hilarious stuff- I love how she really shook Bree up over there and that line was a killer!

Parker is playing the game again. Lynette is talking with Tom and tells him that she will support him 99 % when he starts to chase his dream. Parker hit the ball and started to run but he fell and hurt his ankle.
Lynette now finds an excuse for quitting the game.

Carlos posted Gabrielle’s bail and he drives her home. He tells her in the car that she still loves her but she tells him that she doesn’t love him. Carlos thinks that she only wants to hurt him but she tells him then about John Rowland and how they slept last weekend. Carlos is mad and stops the car and kicks her out and then drives off and leaves her in the middle of nowhere.

Bree is trying to tell Danielle to break up with her history teacher but she tells her that he loves her and she loves him and leaves the house. Bree is desperate but Andrew cheers her up. Bree tells him that she is tired of being the worst mother in the world and she tried her best to teach them right from wrong. Andrew tells her that they know the difference but wrong seems more tempting. Bree tells Andrew that he can tell her everything what happened while he was on the street.
Bree: I am so tired of feeling like the worst mother who ever lived.
Andrew: You're not. There's grandma.
Bree: I just... I've tried so hard to set a good example. I've done the best I could to teach you kids right from wrong. Why isn't it taking?
Andrew: It took. I mean, we know the difference between right and wrong. We just chose wrong.
Bree: Why?
Andrew: Sometimes, when you push a kid really hard to go one way, the other way starts to look more entertaining.
Bree: (smiling) You're awful.
Andrew: I know. I blame shuddy parenting

Susan is in the hospital and tells Ian that the country thing never should have happened. She visits Mike but he is cold to her. He tells her that he doesn’t remember her and that he is tired and she says that she will visit tomorrow but he tells her not to bother herself. She leaves in shock and Edie enters the room. Leaving us with Mary Alice’s History Lesson for the Week;

MAVO: “We all have our reason’s for re-writing History…”

”Sometimes we want to provide ourselves Alibi’s” We see Andrew is with his friends and tells them how it was in a drama camp.

”Sometimes we want to hurt someone who has hurt us.” We see Gabrielle is with her lawyer and says that he Carlos can have a photo album because it means nothing to her anymore.

”And then there are times, we just want to spare ourselves embarrassment.” We see Lynette telling her friends, whom we’ve never seen in 3.5 years that Parker quit his team because he hurt his ankle not because of the bribe.

”Of course there are some who feel that to re-write History is just another way to lie.” We see Vera is lying to her friends saying that her husband is working again late tonight because he does it all for the family.

”But what is History anyway? But a set of lies, agreed upon.” And Edie is with Mike and tells him that he had never really and truly loved Susan. 

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