RECAP EPISODEAs always
happens with the Survivor Recap episode I was grumpy about it when it began but within a couple of moments I was guffawing at the fact that I've already forgotten the losers who've been whacked, which made me feel much better.
There was also the bonus of Jeff going on obsessively about when something was a brand new scene. Clearly they've had millions of complaints about how rubbish it is seeing the same footage again and wanted to shut us up.
The trippy thing was that there were moments when a scene looked like it was more of the same yawny thing until I realized it had nothing to do with the show but rather the Pig they were focusing on - like Bruce.
Argh - he's the first humdinging revelation of the episode.
While watching I listed the Top 10 things that opened my eyes to what I hadn’t realised before and decided to list them. These are them:
1. Bruce needs a massive smackI honestly can’t believe that I’ve been on his side for so long! He’s so unbelievably irritating and demanding that he miraculously manages to make the rest of Casaya look as if they’re vaguely okay. Not that they are - pleease don’t get me wrong, it’s just that if it were me lying down next to you talking about all that midnight karate he was doing I’d have gotten hysterical and made much, much more fun of him than they did.
The real gobsmacker was when he kept insisting on using their last half bottle of water to wash his hands though. That was jaw-dropping in how non-sensical and selfish it was.
Seeing that and then him drinking that final bottle of wine and hiccupping directly afterwards made me want to throttle him to within an inch of his life.
2. John Grisham and Sally have the best Survivor relationship by farThe scene between Austin and Sally Socks about her divorce was very cool. It has to go down as being the most open and honest conversation between two Survivors to date. Austin listened so closely and Sally really dropped her socks to reveal loads about her herself.
Her parents are clearly the ultimate evil from hell. Who exactly do they think they are is what I want to know. When Sally said they needed their space as if it was them who’d gone through the heartache and trauma of divorce instead of her I was livid with them. How
dare they make it all about them. I honestly don’t know how she’s held herself back from telling them how disgusting they are.
Her saying she’d always done the right thing growing up was very sad for her too.
3. Ruth Marie’s got a smidgen of savvySeeing Ruth-Marie squirm to Moonboy when he said she could be in their group was as appalling as it was first time but I really liked what she said afterwards about being betrayed in a game that’s about deceit and lies.
She was just so relaxed and unphased by it she even seemed to get a kick out of being on the receiving of it, which is an excellent attitude to have when you play.
4. Shane’s crying for cigarette’s and not for his sonDon’t get me wrong, I think Shane does miss his son but I reckon all that bawling he’s got going on has waay more to do with his not having cigarettes than missing his son. Trust me, I know, I‘ve been there.
As someone who’s an addict and who’s faced cigarette struggles big time I know from experience that the battle with them makes you swing from one mood to the next, leaving you feeling unlike yourself and empty when you’re not smoking.
I
know. if you’re an anti-smoker you’re probs rolling your eyes but the trouble is, it really is a hectic battle. There are those who say that it’s only about will power and choice etc and even though it has lots to do with this, it’s got a lot of other pshycholigical stuff associated with it too.
In the new vampire TV series Blade, which deals with addiction a lot, there’s a line that goes: “Addicts always have a struggle with loss,” which sums the feeling up perfectly and explains why Shane thinks he’s so lost without his son.
None of this changes how I feel about his hectic degrees of Pig obviously.
5. Nick does nothingThere wasn’t one single moment that featured Nick doing anything besides the repeat of him not helping Sally go back to find the spear. You'd think there would at least have been a moment or two with him doing something in between but there he wasn’t even any in other shot.
6. Courtney’s gayAll that cringeworthy singing and resultant girl hugging she managed to coerce out of it strongly suggests that she’s got lesbo tendencies. It makes sense when you think about how her main rivals are guys and also how much more relaxed she is around chicks generally.
Her being so adamant about the girl-soap being exclusive didn’t influence me in thinking this though ‘cos all the rest of the girls agreed.
7. Eating nails is ludicrousThis is not new news obviously but a couple of them mentioned how their day’s made up of collecting snails in a short space of time which really highlighted just how silly it is.
They also said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world to spend your days finding and eating them which made it very funny.
8. Bobby should never have been on the show9. Aras actually managed to say something with a milli-second of classThat embarassing monkey scream of his when he told Casaya they needed to let go of their anger was soo pathetic I couldn't even look but afterwards he managed to be objective when he told them they needed to pull together.
Of course he was back to his self-serving, condescending self two seconds later when he went on about how clever they all were to make him their leader.
10. The show’s got the crappest make-up artist in the worldI’ve always kinda known this when you see the Survivors looking so orange in the Reunion Show but it's never properly dawned on me that it’s the fault of the make-up department until I saw the shocking eye shadow job they did on Tina, Melinda and Misty’s eyes. I’ve never seen such glaring blue and bad taste. Melinda’s were particularly horrific - it looked like they even managed to stuff some inside her actual eyeball. Brrr.
All in all the episode really delivered some important never-before-seen stuff.