The preview for this episode had us all salivating for some never-before-seen dramatic twist that would shock us all but reality show previews have a habit of making a bigger deal out of something than it already is.
So I was not really disappointed that the ‘never-before-seen shocking twist’ turned out to be neither shocking nor never-before-seen. People have been quitting Survivor since the days of Osten and his pelicanophobia.
Plus I immediately cottoned onto that “Who will go tonight?” spoken at the start of the show rather than the usual “Who will be voted out tonight?” so I knew that something was up. Years of exposure to The Amazing Race has made me wise to subtle changes in the formulaic catchphrases.
I suppose you could say the never-before-seen part refers to the vote they had afterwards to piss off Nico and get him an automatic vote at the next TC but that’s minor. Had they actually gotten rid of Nico, then I would have praised the show for having balls of steel and producing a legitimately shocking moment. Instead the show chickened out.
This most shocking of shocking of episodes saw the tribes’ spirits yo-yoing so much, they were practically bipolar. Aguilera started off pleased that they had gotten rid of Spammy Sam and his tyrannical ways.
They revealed that it was because Sam had dared go up against the true master of Aguilera – Mzi – that he had been voted off. You just don’t mess with Mzi.
Mzi did not crow at his enemy’s elimination but merely worked on fashioning a fishing weight from some metal he had melted in the fire. He’s Mzigyver. You think this is impressive? Just wait – next week he’s going to make a sling from nothing but a coconut shell, palm frond and a fish head.
But would the loss of Sam affect Aguilera’s challenge performance? Not in the RC at least in which three members of the team had to play a sort of Musical Stakes. What is it with this show’s stake obsession anyway? Were the pirates big fans of stakes? I thought they were more into cutlasses and doubloons, not bits of carved wood.
Zayn stripped down to his underpants perhaps in the hope that his opponents would fall to the ground screaming in pain and forfeit the challenge. I know I was wishing I had a couple of those stakes to ram in my eyes as I gawked at the dreaded sight of Zayn’s briefs.
Zayns’ attempt at psychological warfare was in vain. Sanele single-handedly won the RC for Aguilera. He went back to camp a hero and even got the ladies to massage his muscles.
Rama was incredibly dejected over not winning flint as a reward and decided to hold a ‘debriefing session’ to try and sort the problem out. Lezel took the floor and complained that they should’ve chosen her as she was a runner used to sprinting over short distances.
As Jacinda and Zayn explained, it was as much a pushing challenge as a speed challenge so stocky Zayn was the natural instinctive choice over Lezel who must weigh two cents soaking wet. Lezel countered that she saw this now but they should’ve had a more in-depth discussion before they chose who was going to run.
Perhaps next time Lezel can petition Mark to allow Rama to chair a pre-challenge selection committee so they can vote on who they want to represent them at the challenge. Price-Waterhouse-Cooper could verify the results and Rama would be able to make a truly democratic choice.
There was more bad news for Rama when the camp was in danger from the tide coming in. Lezel tried to negotiate with it by offering it a three mango settlement claim but she was unsuccessful in convincing it to back off. Zayn’s solution was to move the stuff thirty centimetres closer to the trees.
Ncumisa complained that she had warned her tribemates that would happen but they hadn’t listened to her. They ignored her possibly because she didn’t file an official complaint at the weekly meeting.
She wisely chose the tactical move of not gloating about how right she was. Well, she did have a small moment where she couldn’t bite back an “I told you so” remark to Zayn but what other reaction can a rational person have when someone else’s solution to the bloody ocean washing away your camp is to move the camp back several inches?
Ncumisa then talked about the importance of winning the IC because she knew she was one of the obvious boots. She’s got a thing going on with Zayn and Lezel (otherwise known as the alliance where everyone sucks but Ncumisa) and wants to convince Gareth to vote with them in future TCs.
It seems that besides being smart and funny she possesses a sneaky Survivor spirit and is already hard at work sizing up her tribemates and their alliances. Girl’s a player. Exxxxcellent since I like her a lot. I hope she does manage to survive the first few TCs because I am eager to see what she has to offer strategy-wise.
Even though they had just won a challenge and they were not in danger of waking up in the middle of the ocean any time soon, Aguilera had gone from their Samlessness-induced high to a major low due to their supposed lack of food.
I’m sorry, lack of food? These guys couldn’t be eating more fish if they were on Survivor: I&J Factory. Mzi is well on their way to depleting Panama’s fish reserves and they’re whining because they don’t have mango?
The way Aguilera spoke of Rama Island, you’d think it was a garden of earthly delights, with steaks on every tree and rivers of chocolate. Rama do have a good fruit thing going on but the only meat they’ve had is raw eel so I wouldn’t be filling in my application for a transfer to Rama Island just yet.
In addition to the food woes, Mzi and Sanele were nursing painful shoulder injuries from the RC. So the Aguilerans were not in the best spirits when they went to the IC.
The challenge involved swinging. Er…not that kind of swinging. I mean the tribes put their skinniest member in a harness and swung them around so they could pick up skulls. They were skull-to-skull for most of the challenge but Rama managed to pull ahead and win by a nasal cavity.
Up went Rama’s spirits, from the lowest low to the highest high. Whereas before they had been whining about how they were terrible at challenges and wondering why they kept losing, now their post-challenge meeting consisted of them congratulating themselves on being just too awesome to function and how well they worked together as a team.
At Aguilera, Jude complained that she was weak because of all the ‘andrenaline’running out after the challenge or some such excuse. It seems that she has low blood pressure and was doomed to listlessness and mangling the English language unless her tribe won a food reward.
She then asked to be voted out. Everyone was surprised, even Brigitte who thinks most women are stupid and weak (maybe she considers Jude an honorary man?). Not that Brigitte complained, mind you. She seems to have a hint more survival instinct than her long-gone island boyfriend because she knows you have to get in line and go with the tribe if you want to last.
At TC, the tribe and Mark agreed there was no vote necessary if everyone had agreed to vote out Jude and her tribe bid her goodbye with much heartache and tears. She seemed very well-liked and respected among the team. Seems like a nice enough woman.
However, it’s extremely disappointing that she left the game this way. She quit because she might possibly have been a detriment to her tribe? Rubbish. She quit because she couldn’t handle it. The fear of making her tribe lose was all a convenient excuse to make herself feel better.
Many survivors in the past have struggled through injuries and weaknesses as long as they can manage. Just recently in Survivor Guatemala, we saw Amy actively participate and often do well in challenges despite a very nasty ankle injury. Did she ask her tribe at any time to get rid of her? Nope, she was a trooper who stuck with them.
What about Sanele whose shoulder injury seems to be far worse than he’s letting on? He’s not asking people to vote him out – he’s keeping mum on the seriousness of his injury because his desire to play the game is just so strong.
Sacrificing yourself for the team may be noble in another setting but not in Survivor. Never. It’s always an individual game even when it’s all about teams in the beginning.
But wait, there’s more! As Jude walked off, Mark dropped a bombshell. OK, it wasn’t actually a bombshell. It only looked like a bombshell but turned out to be more of a firecracker shell.
Aguilera still had to vote. It’s telling that although this extra vote was sprung on them with no warning, they all voted for Nico. Geez, Nico, what you do to hack everyone off so much? Piss on their fire as they cooked the fish? Use the knife to cut your toenails?
Turns out that the votes meant next to nothing and Nico was not going to be surprise-eliminated. Bah. So much for the big twist.
Next week, it looks like Nico is going to contract a bad case of Rupertitis and get angry at people for daring to play the game and vote for him. Ooh, do I spot a bitter jury member in the making?
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